Deep in Your Shadows

by Darien Cox

  He entered the woods, and walked through the trees, feeling silly suddenly, trampling through the brush in search of the man he’d slept with last night. Christian was probably long gone by now. But after a ten minute walk...he heard Christian’s voice.

  Something made Myles slow his steps and proceed cautiously. Christian obviously wasn’t alone out here, and if Myles stumbled upon him doing something illegal...or with another lover maybe? But that very thought made him proceed on, moving stealthily in the trees. He’d taken the man into his bed. At the very least, he deserved to know if Christian was doing something unsavory.

  “You told me to come here if I needed you! Where the hell are you?”

  Myles froze. He followed the voice, and spotted Christian in a small clearing within a copse of trees. Christian paced a circle, alone.

  Who the hell is he talking to?

  “Come on!” Christian raised his hands and called to the sky. “We need to talk. They’re not gonna do it, Baz. We need to discuss this. I need other options.” Grumbling, Christian paused, running a hand over his hair. “I know you can see me, Baz.”

  Christian sat on the ground for a time, silent. Suspicion and something like disappointment niggled at Myles. Clearly Christian was expecting someone. And meetings that took place in the woods were rarely done for wholesome reasons.

  Suddenly Christian bounded to his feet, and pointed at the sky. “Just come talk to me, Baz. Use your magic shield or whatever. But I need to talk!” He stared at the sky for a time, then growled, kicking the dirt. “Okay, you’re not gonna show,” he said. “If you’re listening, get in touch with me when you can. We need to talk some more.” He pointed at the sky. “Got it? Good.”

  Myles ducked behind a tree as Christian made his way back toward the road. He waited five minutes, making sure Christian was gone, then turned and headed back to his house. “What the fuck?” Magic shield?

  Ten minutes later, Myles sat in his driveway, behind the wheel of his car, staring through the windshield at nothing. Who the hell was Christian calling to? Who was Baz?

  There is no Baz.

  He winced, not liking where his mind was going. He’d known Christian could be erratic, had witnessed that himself, but it was usually alcohol that was the culprit. But that wasn’t exactly true. Only that one time, when he’d locked Christian up for fighting, had alcohol been involved. The boat racing. The digging large holes in the forest, taking soil samples. Christian had been sober then.

  “Oh, Christ.” His head thumped as he dropped it onto the steering wheel. He’d been worried about some awkward encounter in some speculative scenario where he might have to arrest Christian after becoming his lover. But now he feared that Christian was mentally ill. And Myles had missed it. Missed all the signs. Just written him off as eccentric, exciting and mysterious, because he’d wanted him, been overwhelmed by sexual attraction.

  His stomach tightened, knowing it would have to be addressed. Maybe not today. But soon. Could he broach this? Come right out and ask Christian about it, admit he’d been spying on him? Christian ran a business, he was a functioning adult. Maybe he was on medication, or maybe he was supposed to be, but had stopped taking it. Perhaps the odd incidents of his past behavior could be blamed on that. He’d called himself complicated, and expressed worry that Myles would change his mind about him.

  Had Myles changed his mind? He still adored Christian, nothing would change that. But he needed to know the truth if he was going to allow himself to keep seeing him. And he ordered himself to keep an open mind. Maybe it was a form of prayer he’d seen in the woods. The village was full of odd things and odd people. It wasn’t a stretch to think some of them had unconventional gods or religious practices. If that was the case, he’d let Christian share it in his own time, if he chose. But if it was mental illness? Myles needed to know. He needed to have the facts, before he fell any deeper into those gorgeous brown eyes than he already had.

  They’d exchanged numbers that morning, then Christian sent him a text an hour later, ‘Thinking of you.’ It had made Myles melt, and he’d texted back, ‘You too.’ He was fooling himself by pretending he wasn’t already in deep. And that he didn’t want to dive deeper still.

  He headed back into the main village. The boardwalk was crowded and there were few parking spaces, so he pulled into the parking lot of the pub. “Darwyn,” he spoke into his radio. “Where you at?”

  There was a long pause, then Darwyn’s voice came through. “At the amusement park. Dealing with major crimes. Someone stole a hotdog from a vendor stand.”

  Myles laughed. “Okay, I’m gonna keep an eye on the festivities here for now.”

  “Copy that. Later.”

  Myles walked the cobblestone streets for a while, telling himself he was merely being thorough. You’re avoiding the beach so you don’t have to see him.

  People greeted him, all of them in high spirits. The pig roast was on, but in truth, most Saturdays in Singing Bear Village looked like a festival was taking place. There was a bit of extra flair today though. Reggae and blues poured out from the bars and restaurants. A man in a pig costume sold balloons. Buskers played banjos on the corner. He stopped and bought an ice cream from a woman dressed as a wizard, and eventually, wandered back down to the boardwalk.

  The beach in front of the pub was alive and crowded. Two large pigs turned on spits, and several tents were set up selling beer, wine, and cocktails. A band was set up on a platform on the sand, and several people in wetsuits were windsurfing on the lake.

  His eyes scanned the crowd and he spotted Christian’s red and white striped shirt. Christian had his big black lab on a leash. He was smiling, talking with one of the female bartenders from the pub, and Elliot Nicholson, the village DJ. Like an invisible magnet between them, Christian seemed to sense Myles’ presence, and looked up, catching sight of him.

  Myles waved, and Christian started up the sand toward him, handing the leash over to Elliot, who took charge of the dog.

  Even as Christian approached, Myles still wasn’t sure if he should mention seeing him in the woods. Now that he saw Christian, smiling and gorgeous as he walked toward him, his resolve weakened, and he wanted to ignore it, dismiss the entire incident. His body reacted to the sight of Christian, his heart beating fast, and it wasn’t nerves over needing to have an awkward conversation. It was straight up, blazing hot arousal, the memory of last night fresh and burning in his mind.

  “Hey,” Christian said when he reached him, still smiling. “Don’t you look dapper all...dressed.”

  Myles couldn’t help smiling. “Thank you. You having a good time?”

  “Sure. You should come down to the beach.” He grinned. “Have a snow cone.”

  “I just had an ice cream. Looks like it’s pretty civilized down there.”

  “Yeah.” Christian glanced over his shoulder. “JT is actually bartending, making these crazy rum drinks everyone’s going nuts for. Or maybe they just want to get close to JT. He has that effect.”

  Myles chuckled. “JT’s a good guy, I like him.”

  “He is.” Christian squinted in the sunlight, studying Myles’ face. “You all right?”

  “I’m fine. Are you all right?”

  “I’m okay. You seem a little...tense.”

  “Just working. Gotta keep my eyes open.”

  Christian shrugged. “What’s the worst that can happen?” He grinned. “I’m not drinking, so you don’t have to worry about any fights.”

  “You’re not drinking? On pig roast day?”

  “Nah. Marina’s open. I want to stay sober in case anything comes up.”

  “I see.”

  “When do you get off duty?”

  Myles swallowed hard. “Later.”

  “You want some company? Later?”

  Myles kept silent, contemplating his answer.

  “What’s the matter?” Christian frowned.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Christian shru
gged. “Of course.”

  “Do you pray?”

  Christian looked at Myles like he’d sprouted a second head, his face scrunching. “Do I pray? That’s a weird question. No, I don’t pray. Why? You religious?”

  “No. Just curious.”

  Christian chuckled, then frowned. “You’re weird.”

  “You feeling okay, Christian?”

  Christian stared back at him, his smile wilting. “I feel fine. Why, do I look like shit?”

  “No,” Myles said. “You look fantastic. As always.”

  “What the hell is up with you? Why you asking me all this weird shit?”

  “I’ve just...got some things to figure out.”

  Hands on his hips, Christian’s eyes narrowed. “Are you blowing me off?”

  “What? No.”

  “So can I come over later?”

  “I uh, I don’t know.” Christ, I’m making a mess of this.

  “Why?”

  “I’m not sure how late I’ll be working. Probably ought to keep an eye on things tonight, with the pig roast and all.”

  “The pig roast ends at eight tonight. That’s not too late.”

  “True...but people will be hitting the bars and bonfire parties afterward. I should probably hang around just in case. A lot of drinking going on today.”

  “You’re blowing me off.”

  “I’m not blowing you off. I told you, I’ve got to work.”

  “And you have some ‘things to figure out’. Busy with work. Things to figure out. Next you’ll use the magnum opus of blow-off terminology and tell me you need space.”

  “Christian, come on. Ease up.”

  “You’re right.” He held his hands up, taking a step back. “I told myself I wasn’t gonna do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Push you. I’m sorry. But you’re acting weird and I’m confused, Myles. What’s up? Because I can tell something’s up, so don’t insult my intelligence.”

  “All right.” Myles took a deep breath. “I need to ask you about something.” His phone buzzed with an incoming text from Darwyn. ‘Get down to the amusement park. Fight happened. Need you.’

  “Shit. I have to go. Sorry, Christian. We’ll talk about it another time.”

  Christian looked crestfallen, and Myles wanted to take him in his arms and soothe him, tell him everything would be all right.

  “Okay,” Christian said. “Another time then.” He turned and headed back down to the beach without looking back.

  “Christian! We can talk later.”

  “Whatever, Sheriff. Call me.”

  Myles turned away. “Shit.” He’d completely screwed that up. He shouldn’t have said anything. Not until he had Christian alone. “Shit,” he said again, and headed for his car.

  As he drove around the lake, his heart broke a little. Because deep down, he didn’t care if Christian was crazier than a sack of rabid weasels.

  He wanted him anyway.

  Chapter Ten

  Christian had opted to go to bed early rather than stay out and party, which would only lead to moping over Myles. He’d been sound asleep when his phone woke him at ten. He’d experienced a small flutter of excitement, thinking it might be Myles, but it was JT calling.

  Now he was in his car, heading over to JT’s house. JT and Rudy had apparently received a surprise visit from Baz, and wanted to discuss it with Christian. Oddly, Christian felt somewhat affronted that Baz had chosen to go to JT, while he’d blown Christian off in the woods earlier.

  Just as Myles had more or less blown him off on the boardwalk. Christian’s feelings were hurt, and he was confused. Myles hadn’t seemed the type to do this. He was certainly enthusiastic in bed, and tender that morning when they said goodbye. Encouraging even. Christian didn’t like to brag, but he’d never had a lover who’d not wanted a repeat performance. Maybe he was losing his charm. In one day, he’d been blown off by both a sheriff and an alien.

  Maybe in the real world, Christian was just plain unlikeable. He’d had JT, Elliot, Nolan, and Michelle to love and care for and stroke his ego for years, so the thought never occurred to him. Myles probably just changed his mind, and decided Christian was too much to handle. And that was exactly what Christian was afraid of. The worst part was, his secret job, the thing he’d expected to become the culprit, hadn’t even entered into it. It was all him.

  When he stepped into JT’s house, Rudy greeted him at the door, aflutter with excitement. “He was here! Baz. In the house!”

  “I heard.” Christian moved into the kitchen, where JT sat at the table. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” JT said. “Sit.”

  Christian took a seat, and Rudy sat down on the other side of JT.

  “So what happened?”

  “Oh my God, Christian,” Rudy said. “It was so weird! He was sitting there, right where you are. In the hat and the dark sunglasses, rocking back and forth like a blind jazz-man. I offered him a beer, and he said no. So I offered him water, and he said no. Then I remembered he was eating acorns in the woods, right? So I offered him some mixed nuts. He ate one, and said it was too salty. It was so fucking weird. Awesome, but weird, you know?”

  “Settle down, Rudy,” JT said. “You’re gonna forget to breathe, babe.”

  A tiny lance poked at Christian’s heart at hearing JT use the pet name with Rudy. He pushed the feeling aside, reminding himself he had no right to jealousy. But he and JT had always called each other babe, and hearing him say it to Rudy only added to the cloud of rejection he seemed to be carrying around. Though it was less about JT, and more that Christian wanted that with someone else. A certain someone else. “So what did Baz say?”

  “Well,” JT said. “It was interesting. I think I got more information from what he wouldn’t say than what he would. Rudy hammering him with questions helped, though I think it rattled poor Baz.”

  “Speaking of rattled,” Rudy said. “Were you scared when you saw Baz?”

  Christian frowned. “Me? Why?”

  Rudy snickered. “Because he thinks you’re mad at him.”

  “He said that?”

  “Well, more or less. You know how he talks. ‘Chrischris to angry. To frighten. Angry to Baz.’ Were you scared of him?”

  “I was a little scared, yeah. But what do you expect? I was alone, and he’s a fucking alien.”

  “He seemed kind of bummed out about it.” JT smirked. “I think he has a crush on you.”

  “Oh please, he does not. If anything he has a crush on you two. He watches you guys all the time.”

  JT’s jaw dropped, and Rudy leaned in and said, “Excuse me?”

  “He watches us?” JT winced. “How do you know?”

  “He said as much. I told him he had to stop, and he agreed he would. Looked kind of ashamed.”

  “Hold on.” Rudy raised a hand, chuckling. “Watches us do what, exactly?”

  Christian smirked, cocking an eyebrow.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Rudy grimaced. “He watches us have sex?”

  “He didn’t say that,” JT said. “Christian’s just trying to wind us up.”

  “Hey, if you say so.” Christian shrugged. “But he wasn’t talking about someone else when he said ‘To sex, to love, to argue, to sex. Repeat.’ He was referring to the two of you.”

  Rudy looked at JT. “We argued the night I left for L.A.”

  “Yeah,” JT said. “And then we...oh, man. I think I’m gonna be sick. Of embarrassment. That’s so...unsettling.” JT flushed pink and rested his face in his hands.

  Christian laughed. “He did say he’d stop doing it. He seemed sincere. Give him a break. He’s probably lonely. Can’t imagine he’s got a great social life on the base, what with his...hybrid status. Plus he’s part human, after all. We keep forgetting that. Humans are horny.”

  “Lonely?” JT said. “We don’t know that. He could have a perfectly nice hybrid girlfriend. We know the hybrids breed with each other. Baz is a second gener
ation hybrid, he said.”

  “Ah...” Christian shook his head. “If anything, I’d guess a perfectly nice hybrid boyfriend. I don’t know how aliens do the nasty, but I don’t think he was watching the two of you get busy just for research, if you know what I mean.”

  Rudy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God. JT. Did we create a gay alien? A gaylien?”

  JT snorted. “We should set him up with Elliot. He’s almost as white as Baz.”

  “Baz is probably too old for him,” Christian said.

  Rudy and JT both laughed. “How long do the Whites live?” Rudy asked. “Do you know?”

  “No,” JT said. “But it stands to reason they live a lot longer than we do. They’ve got to have advanced medicine along with all their tech.”

  “So is that why Baz didn’t come meet me today?” Christian asked. “Because he thought I was mad at him?”

  Rudy and JT went still, no longer laughing. “Okay,” JT said. “We called you over to brief you on what was said, but there’s a reason we asked you here alone. We can brief the others tomorrow. But we thought you’d want to know this right away.”

  “Know what?”

  “Baz did hear you in the woods today,” Rudy said. “But said he couldn’t come to you. Because ‘sex man’ was there.”

  Christian actually felt the blood drain from his face. “Myles...was there?”

  “Yeah.” JT nodded. “Apparently he was hiding in the woods. Watching you.”

  “Fuck!” Christian’s stomach roiled. “Oh, fuck. That’s why he was being so weird on the boardwalk today.”

  “How weird?” Rudy asked. “I mean...how bad was it? What he saw from the woods.”

  Letting out a hard breath, Christian stared down at the table. “Well, he asked me if I was feeling all right, said he had some things to figure out, then he said he couldn’t see me tonight. So you tell me. And he hasn’t called.”