Shane

by Wasowski, Mary

  Tenley was like the Energizer Bunny on crack. She was talking a mile a minute, and all I heard was February 20th. Anything after that was just a garbled mess, like the teacher in Charlie Brown. My stomach tightened, and I went silent. When she finally caught on to what was happening to me, she called out my name.

  “Shelby, what’s going on?” she asked with concern.

  I held my head in my hands and tried very hard not to go back there to that day when time just stood still. I was having a hard time catching my breath. I wasn’t immune to a panic attack and suffered from a few of them after I lost our son. Tenley handed me a glass of water and instructed me to take small sips and to breathe. She spoke softly as my body slowly recovered from the surge of adrenaline.

  “Shelby, talk to me,” she said a little louder and squatted down in front of me.

  “I’m sorry. I’m okay. Tenley…the date.”

  “Date? What date? I’m confused.”

  “His birthday is the same day as…” I almost couldn’t say the words, and then realization was written all over Tenley’s face and she knew.

  “Oh, my goodness, I am so stupid. I didn’t even put two and two together. When I’m in lawyer mode, it’s all I see. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

  “No, don’t be silly, you’re not. I just kind of shut down for a second after I heard the date. You know to everyone else it’s just a day on the calendar, but to us, it’s life-changing. Tenley, I have no doubt whatsoever that this is a sign. A miracle we’ve been praying for.”

  “I’m not following.”

  “Tenley, don’t you see? Wyatt was born on February 20th. My accident was on February 20th. While our son died, another life came into the world, and now that same life is here. He’s here in our life and our home, needing a family.”

  “Oh, Shelby, I want to believe everything you just said, and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make this happen for you and Shane, but it’s a lot of legal issues to navigate through. Everything you need to begin this process, I have here for you in this file. Let me just go over a few things with you, and then I will answer any questions you may have. Sound good?”

  “Sure, please, go on.”

  “First off, we need to fill out your application to become a certified foster parent. Approval usually takes three to six months, but I may be able to have the state grant a petition for emergency custody because of the circumstances involving Wyatt running away and the reasons behind that. It’s a 50/50 shot, but I say let’s go for it. Secondly, you should prepare yourselves for spending another nine to eighteen months to complete the inquiry, orientation, and preparation classes, which will include home study visits.”

  “Okay, hang in there, Shelby. I’m almost through with the hard parts. The process has already begun with the state and he’s already been assigned a new caseworker of my choosing. You will like her, she’s amazing. Look, it’s abundantly clear that someone has dropped the ball with this boy. It’s also incredibly embarrassing for the state to have a child under their care and then he suddenly vanishes. For whatever reason, they tried to keep this quiet. I smell a cover-up and once I get to the bottom of it all, heads are going to roll with the major ass-kicking I’m going to deliver.”

  “His disappearance should have been national news, but it wasn’t, which explains why a lot of locals didn’t even know about it. It’s murky waters and a hell of a lot of red tape, but again, not impossible. I am a very good lawyer, and I will be representing you, so you’re already winning.”

  “Lastly, as I mentioned, we have a new caseworker. Her name is Roberta Davidson. While I was down at the department of child services, I ran into her and told her about Wyatt. I didn’t even have the chance to submit a request for a new point of contact. Roberta volunteered and is an excellent person to have on our side. She will be a key player in the process, appointed to ensure that the child’s needs and rights to safety and well-being are met.”

  “Roberta will communicate with you until the adoption is finalized. So, that’s pretty much it. Do you have any questions?”

  “Tenley, I’m not sure you even paused between all you have said to take a breath. I can’t imagine doing your job, but you seem to do it very well, which makes what I say next be hard to hear, but it needs to be said.”

  “Have I overstepped here? I thought you wanted my help?” She looked confused.

  “I do, we do, but is there another way we can expedite this nine to eighteen-month process?”

  I watched Tenley place all the paperwork down and put her shoulders back in a defiant stance. “Before another word is spoken here, we need to be clear and on the same page, and from what you just said, it does not coincide with my plan of action regarding you and Shane adopting Wyatt.”

  “Tenley, just take your lawyer hat off just for a second and just be a mom. What kind of person abandons their own child and just leaves them hanging out in the wind for strangers to care for him? He’s scared. By the looks of him, his care has been neglected. He may be seven years old, but he looks the size of age four, and don’t even get me started on his weight. He’s skin and bones. Look where we live, Tenley. Your father, your husband, my husband, and their fathers own the biggest ranch in Wyoming, and one of the largest in the country. Surely, we can use that to influence a few bureaucrats to see things our way? We have money, and with money comes power. Those two things make the world go around. We can move this process along, can’t we, Tenley? There has to be someone we can call upon to help us.”

  “Wow! I think I might need a drink or two. Shelby, this is not how it works. There’s rules, many steps, and a lot of time in between. I know the process can be grueling and beyond stressful, but it’s not impossible to obtain.”

  “No, you don’t know the process and probably never will! And why should you? When you’re still able to have children!” I shouted and immediately regretted my words. I inhaled deeply and then released my breath. “I’m sorry, Tenley. I didn’t mean it.”

  “Yeah, you did, and I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I know how you feel and have been where you are, because I haven’t. We mourned your loss with you, and although it didn’t happen to me, doesn’t mean I didn’t feel your pain. There are not enough apologies in the universe to say to you and Shane, but we tried because we love you. I’m here today as your friend and a lawyer, because I know I can help you. Believe me, I want to, but for you to ask what you just asked me is crossing the boundary of friendship and most importantly the law.”

  “Everything you just said is absolutely correct, but I’m desperate here and will do anything I have to do to keep this boy. He can’t go back into the system and to that place. He just can’t. Please help us. I know you have connections, important ones that you can call in a favor. I know all about your life in New York City. Shane told me. Please, Tenley, help me become a mom. You can do this for me, and more importantly, you owe Shane.”

  The cold dagger of a look that Tenley aimed toward me had the power to literally make me weak in the knees, but I was out of options and would do anything I had to do to keep Wyatt with us.

  I knew shoving old history from her past was not the smartest way to make Tenley help me, and I also knew if Shane found out about this, he would be disappointed and hurt by my actions. It was his past as well, and he put it behind him a long time ago.

  I waited and prepared myself for the fallout from my words, but it never came. She stood emotionless and simply said, “I have to go. I’ll leave this file with you so you and Shane can read it over, and then I will be in touch.” She turned away and began walking out.

  “Tenley, please!” I reached for her arm to stop her from leaving. She jerked it back as if I had burned her. Didn’t I? “Tenley, I know what I’m asking of you.”

  “Really? Because it sounds more like demanding. Who the hell do you think you are? And where do you get off reminding me of a time in my life that has absolutely nothing to do with you? Just
because you are Shane’s wife doesn’t mean you get a free pass to give an opinion pertaining to me or my history with him. Do not believe for one second that you understand any part of that time, because you can never, unless you were there living it with us, and you weren’t. Shelby, no matter how much we move forward in our lives, the past is always there on some level. I know it and have made peace with it. What I didn’t know was that a person I have come to care about and welcome into our family would use it to get what she wants and not give a damn on who she hurts.”

  “I’m sorry, Tenley. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

  “Save it, because lying will not help you. It’s just eye-opening to me knowing how you really see me. I thought we were friends.”

  “We are, the best of friends.”

  “You can keep telling yourself that and maybe you will believe it, but no friend I have would ever do what you just did. You make me sound like some boss bitch that just snaps her fingers and greases the right hands to get what I want. To be frank, you know nothing about my career, and the things you think you know have been overdramatized to tell a good story. Stick to what you know, and I’ll do the same.”

  She was already pissed off at me, so why stop now? “Says the officer of the court who singlehandedly brought down two major crime lords of one of the biggest mob families in New York. You’re going to stand there in all your righteousness and tell me that you always played by the rules, always followed a strict code of ethics? Because if you say yes, then I know you will be lying. I will risk bending the law if it means allowing Shane and me to keep this boy and make him our son. I will risk you being angry with me. I will risk losing your friendship. I’ll do anything for Wyatt. Please, Tenley, I need you to do this. If not for me, do it for Shane. He already loves that little boy.”

  “You have him for the next few days, at least until we are granted a hearing. It all depends on when the judge is available to hear our case. I’ll be in touch. I have to go.”

  She didn’t break, not for a second. She had nerves of steel, and you never knew what she was thinking behind that tough persona of hers, especially when she was wearing her lawyer hat. Even when I reminded her of something so hurtful from her long friendship with Shane, she still mentally kicked my ass, leaving me to wonder if once she gets home, she will change her mind altogether on helping us. I stood there in silence as I watched Tenley speed away in her truck, leaving me not knowing where to go from here.

  I knew Shane would be angry with me, but I had to try, and I would take full responsibility for it. It wouldn’t be the last mistake I made, and I’d been notorious for grave errors of judgment, but not this time. This was right. Someone had to fight for Wyatt, and it might as well be me.

  I wasn’t going to stress over it any longer. I grabbed my coat and made my way to the barn to see the reason for my smile. He looked so happy petting Yankee and the rest of the horses. This ranch was magical, especially for children.

  “Hey, Wyatt, would you like to give Yankee a carrot?”

  “Yes, please,” he said excitedly. Kathleen left us on our own, and it was just us in this big barn surrounded by horses. “Will he bite me?” he asked curiously.

  “Not if you do it right. You see, Yankee belongs to Shane. He’s very loyal to his rider, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be friends with you. He’s a Paint Horse. Do you know what that is?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Well, he’s a quarter horse, but what makes him special is his coloring. He’s brown and white, when other quarter horses are just brown. Shane wanted different, and he raised Yankee up from a colt. He’s very strong and beautiful too. He also loves compliments. Right, Yankee?” He picked the right time to nudge my shoulder, and then I knew he was giving me the okay for Wyatt to feed him.

  “Okay, Yankee is being so welcoming today. How about we give him a juicy apple instead?”

  “Yeah, that’s better.”

  “I agree, so hold out your hand palm up and slowly move it close to Yankee. Don’t be afraid. I’m right here with you.” He slowly followed my instructions and then laughed when Yankee took the apple from him.

  “That was perfect. Okay, always stay on the horse’s side.” I instructed and watched Wyatt do exactly what I told him. “There you go. Now gently pet the side of his neck in smooth strokes.” He was standing on the block, and his little hand got lost in Yankee’s coat as he moved his hand up and down his long neck. “There now, how was that?” I asked and then gave Yankee another apple.

  “Everything. I never did that before. You don’t see many horses where I live.”

  “I’m sure you don’t, but around here, that’s all there is.”

  “Thank you for letting me feed him.”

  “You’re welcome, buddy. How about we go back up to the house and make some cookies? Would you like to help me with that?”

  “Yes! Chocolate chip?” he said excitedly.

  “Is there any other kind? Chocolate chip is my favorite to make.”

  “I never made cookies, but I know how to eat them. Mrs. Rosie used to bring them to the home for us but always gave me extra.”

  “Sounds like Mrs. Rosie is a really nice lady. Maybe one day I’ll get to meet her.”

  He just smiled and said nothing more. I said goodbye to Yankee and then held Wyatt’s hand as we walked back to the house in silence. I wanted to ask him questions about the group home and Mrs. Rosie, but I couldn’t push him. So, baking was the next best thing to do.

  Shane

  “Thanks, man, for helping me out here today. I think with those new stabilizers on the fence posts, we shouldn’t have any more cattle coming through. Shane! Earth to Shane! Are you listening to me?”

  “What?” I said in a much louder voice then I intended to.

  “Hey, take it easy. I was just thanking you for the help, but clearly, you didn’t hear me.”

  “I’m sorry, Jagger. It’s not you. I just can’t forget what you told me and then to have Tenley confirm it. What in the hell was she thinking? I swear, my head was spinning the entire drive back to the ranch.”

  “Did you talk to Shelby about it?”

  “No, I didn’t know how to bring it up to her. The minute I saw her face, I knew it wasn’t the right time. She never stops smiling. It’s only been a few days, and it’s like Shelby has just flipped a switch and has completely moved Wyatt in and already is way too attached. Jagger, we haven’t even heard from a case worker yet, and who knows when we will go to court. The longer Wyatt remains with us, the harder it’s going to be to let him go if they take him from us.”

  He placed his hammer down into the toolbox and put the bed of my truck down. He hopped on and reached for a beer out of the cooler. “Drink this and take a breath. I’ll admit my girl was a little taken back with what Shelby asked of her, but she doesn’t spook easily, you know that. Tenley is amazing at what she does and will do her very best, but no one can ask her to break the law.”

  “More like bending, and she’s done it before.”

  “First off, we don’t speak of before, and you damn well know why that is, so shut the fuck up about it. I can’t believe you think those two situations are the same. Tenley is not the same person she was back in New York. It’s almost another life.”

  “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight, especially with you. I’m just at a crossroads right now, and I’m not sure what road to take that will make everyone in my life happy.”

  “You know, a very smart person told me a story about crossroads and how they affect your life. It’s like a four-way intersection, each arrow facing a new way. You’re standing in the middle of it, not knowing what to do. And then…it hits you. This overwhelming jolt to your system that is so deep inside that you just know which road to take. Once you’re on it, you know it’s the right path that you’ll get the answers to your questions, and it will be alright. All roads lead home, Shane.”

  “Fucking Jamie, it never fails.” We both
clinked our beer bottles together.

  “Yeah, he’s laughing right about now, but he was right when he gave me that advice. And now since he’s not here to give it to you, the honor is bestowed on me. You need to go home and talk with Shelby. Figure it out together.”

  “What if we can’t? What if she already loves this boy so much that she’s willing to sacrifice anything and everyone to keep him?”

  “I guess you won’t know until you talk with her. Go home.”

  “Hey, guys, I hate to break up this testosterone moment, but I just received a call from the clerk down in Judge Clayton’s office. Your hearing is on Monday morning’s docket, first thing.”

  “Tenley, we haven’t even talked with a social worker. How can this be happening already?”

  “You don’t need to. You’ve been vetted by the state, and all your paperwork is submitted, granting temporary custody to you and Shelby. What happens on Monday is that you will present yourselves in front of the judge and tell him why you want to become parents to Wyatt. How you will promise to love him and always care for him and his needs. After that, you will most likely have a home visit or two and then more paperwork, ending with the adoption day. Again, the judge will make you swear under oath and hold you to your promises for Wyatt, and once that is done, he will sign off on it and make it a matter of public record that you, Shane Rhodes, are now a father. You go home and be happy for the rest of your lives.”

  If I wasn’t sitting on the bed of my truck, I might have fallen over. Jagger was in awe of his wife, and frankly, so was I.

  “Tenley, I don’t know what to say right now.”

  She raised her hands up, and because I knew her so well, she was doing everything in her power to hold back her emotions.