Shane

by Wasowski, Mary

  “Don’t say anything. Just be a great dad to that precious little boy, because he needs you and you need him.” She hugged me and then placed a kiss on my cheek before turning and walking back into the house. I thought I might have seen her wipe a tear away from her face, but she would never let me see that.

  Jagger clapped a hand on my shoulder, and we knew we didn’t need to say anything more to each other. The unspoken truth weighed heavily between us that you could have sliced it with a knife.

  “Daddy, daddy, come play with me.” We heard next and then looked up to see Tenley holding their eighteen-month-old son, Jamie. Man, he was so cute and the spitting image of Jagger. He nearly sprinted toward his son and took him from Tenley, who just half smiled at me before closing their front door, leaving me out here alone.

  A part of me wanted to knock on their door and beg Tenley to talk to me. She didn’t have to say the words. I knew what she did for us, and I also knew what it cost her. Is it right for me to just let her compromise her values in what she believes to be wrong? Especially when it comes to her career? Fuck! I can’t let her do that.

  I jumped off my truck and was going to knock on their door when my phone buzzed in my pocket with a text message. It was from Jagger. What was he doing? Watching me from the window? Damn, he knew me too well. I hate when he’s right. I’m overthinking this amazing gift I’ve been given.

  JAGGER: Go the fuck home! You’re freaking my wife out, and I promised her many orgasms tonight, which won’t happen until you go the fuck home!

  ME: Okay, I’m going, and did I really need to hear about your sex life?

  JAGGER: Fuck yeah, you did! Now go home and give some to your wife. Bye!

  I pocketed my phone and just shoved the rest of the bullshit aside and went home to my wife.

  “Hey, you’re a little late tonight. We were starving and went ahead with dinner, but I saved you a plate. It won’t take me but a minute to warm up.”

  “Babe, dinner can wait, but what I have to tell you cannot. Where’s Wyatt?”

  “He’s inside with your mom and dad.”

  “Shit! Tonight was dinner with the family, and I totally spaced.”

  “It’s fine. I fed your father two helpings of pie.”

  “That works. Let me just send him a text to watch Wyatt, while we take a ride to talk.”

  “It’s that bad that you can’t tell me here?”

  “It’s not bad at all. Come on, babe, let’s take a ride. It’s too cold for the horses, so the truck will have to do.” She placed her hand on mine as I led her around to the other side. Mom waved from the porch. She knew what I was doing. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone but my wife, and I needed to clear my head before seeing Wyatt again.

  I drove us down to the river and parked my truck. It was a full moon tonight, so it was like the lights had been turned on out here. She held her hands in her lap and twisted her fingers, something she always tended to do when she was nervous. I reached for them and held them in mine to calm her.

  “Babe, listen to me, please. I was working with Jagger today, as you know, and I finished up with the fences down at his place. While I was there, I talked with Tenley, and she gave me some news about Wyatt and the upcoming hearing.”

  “We have a hearing?” She sounded surprised.

  “We sure do, and it’s on Monday morning.”

  “But? Other than the initial submittals, we haven’t really talked to anyone beyond the first phase. What happened to eighteen months?”

  It was time to confront her with what I know. “Seriously? Are you going to sit there and pretend you don’t know what I am talking about here? Come on, babe, don’t play around, especially with me.” She sat there in silence for a few minutes, and then when I believed she would at least look remorseful for what she did, she straightened her shoulders and came clean.

  “Yes, I inadvertently asked Tenley to work outside the lines for us, and it looks like she did. Despite our argument, she did this for Wyatt, because she knows he deserves a chance at having a family who will love and take care of him.”

  “Oh my god, I can’t fucking believe this. Shelby, do you realize what you have done here?”

  “Yes, I do, and I’m not the least bit sorry for it. It has brought us one step closer to becoming parents. Do you want me to feel bad over this? Because if that’s what you are waiting for, then I’m sorry, Shane, but I will not do that. Have you read the statistics on how many foster children are in our state alone? How many children have been waiting to be adopted? The numbers are staggering. What about the leeches that just do it for a paycheck at the end of the month? Because, Shane, they’re out there and do unscrupulous things all in the name of money and greed, and they don’t put the children they foster first. I know you’re angry, but please, if I’m guilty of anything, it’s wanting and loving Wyatt so much that I lost my head. After the way Tenley left, I didn’t believe she would help us at all, and now you’re telling me that she practically handed us a miracle on a silver platter.”

  “You should have told me. I hated hearing it from Tenley.”

  “So what? She ran from here and did not rest until she told you what I did? Dammit! I hate this. I’m not that insecure woman I was when I first met her, and now I feel as if I am right back there on the day we met.”

  “God!” I shouted loud enough to wake the dead. “You still don’t get it? My past will forever be entwined with Jagger, Tenley, and Jamie. I made my share of mistakes—we all did—but we also made peace with them a very long time ago. So, to hear that you undermined my friendship with them—for what, to get a point across?—just hurts me. It wasn’t Tenley that first told me what you practically demanded her to do, it was Jagger. He felt I had a right to know what happened between our wives. When she arrived home, she was visibly upset. They don’t keep secrets from one another. It was only after I heard the story that I went to Tenley, and she confirmed what Jagger said to be true. So, she didn’t run and tattle on you. Please, would it kill you to think just a little better of her?”

  “I’m sorry, Shane. I’m so sorry. I will never do anything like that again. You believe me, right?” she said, holding back the tears I knew would fall.

  “Yes, I believe and forgive you. Now kiss me,” I said. I followed with, “Shelby, you are amazing and are the woman that I love most in this world. My life really didn’t begin until I met you. Tenley is like a sister to me and is married to my best friend. I swear you have nothing to ever worry about. Yes, I’m protective of Tenley. I’ve known her since she came into the world, but that’s where it stops. I just feel that although your intentions were good, you went about it the wrong way and used our friend to get what you want, and that’s what I’m angry about. You kept this from me, and it hurts because we promised to be better than that.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t give up on me.”

  “Stop with the apologies. It’s over now.”

  She slowly calmed and kissed me again. “Shane, I know I am a work in progress and drive you absolutely insane, but it comes from a good place.”

  “It does, and you never have to worry about me leaving. If you want the truth, it’s me that is always worrying about you leaving me. For a long time after Ryder’s death, I slept with one eye open, fearing that you would be gone in the morning. You were angry with me for so long, I didn’t think we would ever get back what we had, and now here we are getting ready to adopt this amazingly smart little boy whose eyes light up with just feeding my horse an apple. All I see is purity in his eyes, and all he wants in return is to be loved and cared for. I love you so much. I’ve been watching you with him, and I just stand back in the quiet, barely able to hold back my tears. Seriously, Shelby, you take my breath away. You were meant to be a mother, and you were right.”

  “About?”

  “I swear you always make me say it.”

  “It helps.”

  “I believe in us and our family, and Wyatt coming in
to our lives was a direct message from the angels above. It has to be, because I can’t think of any other reason why he was put in our path.”

  “Oh, I love you, Shane,” she cried out as she lunged herself into my arms. “Thank you, baby.”

  “Thank you, Shelby. Thank you for believing in our family during the times I doubted. It’s going to be okay. We’ve come too far for it not to. Let’s go home to our son.”

  Shelby

  “Let’s go home to our son.” When Shane said those words to me, I knew without a doubt that no matter what happened from tonight on, he believed in us and our family. I nearly cried happy tears all the way home. I was so unbelievably happy that I could not contain my joy and excitement.

  Shane held my hand and focused on the road while I just beamed with joy and hope for our future. When we went inside, Kathleen put a finger to her lips to quiet us. Wyatt had fallen asleep in Kip’s arms while he read him a story. We had been gone longer than expected, and she told us that he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. She snapped a few photos for us, and I had her send them to me on my phone. These amazing people were going to be his grandparents. You could not ask for better role models than the Rhodes.

  Shane’s smile was infectious as he walked over to his father to take Wyatt from his arms. He whispered that he would put him to bed and would be right back down. Kip did a big exaggerated stretch of his arms and then winked at me.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve done that. I almost forgot how it feels to tend to a little one. He may be seven, but he fits perfectly in my arms.”

  “I know what you mean. I took him to Tenley’s pediatrician, and he said he’s under on the growth and weight scale, but since he’s been here, he’s probably gained a few pounds. I just pray it will be permanent.”

  “I hope you get your wish, I really mean that. I just can’t bear to see you and Shane disappointed.”

  “We understand that more than you know, but thank you, Kip. We love you and are not sure what we would do without you and Kathleen.”

  “Well, don’t worry about that, because we don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.” My mother-in-law said as she walked back into the living room. “Okay, love, it’s late and ranch work won’t get done, especially if my cowboy over here is tired.”

  “I’m coming, woman, and when have I ever not done ranch work?”

  “Never, but I have to keep you on your toes now. Good night, Shelby. Talk with you in the morning.”

  I hugged her back and then gave one more to Kip before they left. I picked up a little in the living room and then wondered what was keeping Shane. I went upstairs and heard him talking to Wyatt, but he was still asleep.

  “It’s going to be alright buddy, I have to believe that. You came into our lives like a breeze on a windy day. Sometimes life throws you a curveball, and something so unexpected comes into your life that you may not know what to do with it, but with you, I never felt that way. Something just clicked inside of me when I looked into your eyes, and I wished you were ours. A son that I could claim as my own and be a father to, and now it’s not just a dream anymore, it’s a reality. I promise you, Wyatt, if you want me to be your dad, then I promise I will be the best one I can be and will always love and put you and your mom first. Yeah, that’s Shelby, the pretty blonde that makes my head spin. Yeah, she’s pretty great. Okay, good night, buddy. Dream of things that will make you smile.”

  I watched Shane place a kiss down on his forehead, and I nearly melted. It was a beautiful moment he just had with Wyatt, and although I shouldn’t have been listening, I’m so happy I did, because now I knew how Shane felt. I knew he wanted Wyatt to be our son, but I never knew how much until now. I wanted to run back downstairs, but I was caught when Shane stepped out of his room.

  “I’m not even sorry for eavesdropping,” I said and then laughed in his arms.

  “I somehow knew you were there, and that’s okay. Shelby, I don’t think I can let him go, so we have to make sure everything goes right for us on Monday.”

  “It will, babe. It has to. I have faith, and I know you do too. Look how much he’s changed since we took him in. His cheeks are rosy. The dark circles under his eyes are gone, and he never stops smiling. This is right. I know it is.”

  “Just keep telling me that until we sign the papers.”

  “I will. Let’s go to bed. I need my husband.”

  “Lead the way, wife.”

  I had spent a wonderful week with Wyatt, and it was Shane’s turn to show him around the ranch and just do guy stuff. I couldn’t help but let out my laughter after they both came down the stairs the next morning. Shane had dressed him almost identical to him, right down to his cowboy boots. It was really hard containing my joy around these two, especially mornings like this one when we could not have asked for a better day.

  After talking to Shane about it, I decided to let the dust settle with Tenley and waited a few days to talk to her. After I received the call this morning from Judge Clayton’s office confirming our hearing for Monday morning, I knew it was now or never to get it all out on the table.

  “May I come in?” I asked as a stunned Tenley opened her door.

  “Did we have an appointment?” she asked, surprised.

  “No, but we do need to talk. Can we?”

  “I have a few minutes while Jamie is napping. Do you want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot.”

  “Coffee sounds great. Thank you.”

  “It’s no trouble at all,” she said as she pulled two mugs down from the cabinet. “Would you like a muffin? I made them yesterday morning. They should still be fresh.”

  I watched her busy herself around her kitchen while I remained standing by the kitchen island. She was not the easiest person to talk to on a normal day. Yeah, this could be an epic mistake on my part, but I’ll just add it to the list.

  “Seriously, Tenley, can you just sit and talk to me? The air is so thick in the room right now that I’m finding it hard to breathe. The coffee and the muffins can wait. What I need to talk to you about will not.”

  She placed the serving tray down and placed her palms down on the counter, looking directly at me as if she did not know why I was here.

  I took my coat off and then walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. I figured I would make myself comfortable and ready for this conversation. She followed suit but still said nothing, just gesturing me to continue.

  “Tenley, you can tell me that you’re angry with me, and I’ll listen, but it won’t change the fact on what I asked of you, and then without telling me, you just went ahead and did it.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shelby, and I’m not sure what you want me to say here.”

  “How about the truth? I need to know that whatever you did for us to help us secure our boy will not come back to haunt us and jeopardize our adoption of Wyatt.”

  I would have thought after the bombshell I just dropped on her, she would have had a reaction, but she was cool as a cucumber. She kept her expression on the serious side and picked off the imaginary lint from her leggings before looking up at me.

  “I told you the truth, Shelby. It’s not my problem that you don’t believe me. I am a lawyer, and as your lawyer, I did everything I know to do to begin the adoption process for Wyatt. I told you there were special circumstances that were taken into consideration, and some of those processes were pushed to the head of the line, which in turn expedited your hearing. If I were you, I would not question the why and the how and just be happy that when Monday comes, you will be that much closer to becoming Wyatt’s family.”

  I didn’t know what to say, and when the words were there, the sound of baby Jamie crying through the monitor broke up the already high tension in the room. Tenley didn’t miss a beat and reached for the monitor. She stood and began walking toward the stairs. I was still planted on the couch in total astonishment to what was said and wasn’t said here today. The heavy unsp
oken understanding between us was right there and the way she was looking at me was scaring the shit out of me. Tenley didn’t play, especially when she was in lawyer mode.

  “So, as you can hear, my little boy needs me. If there’s nothing else, you should go home to yours.”

  Yeah, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that I was being shown the door.

  Without thought, I reached for Tenley and hugged her with every bit of gratitude I had in me. There would never be enough thank you’s for all she did to make my dream come true, but then again, according to Tenley, she was just doing the job I hired her for and anything beyond that was just my imagination. It would be up to me how I handle the acceptance of it all and move on from here.

  “Thank you, Tenley, thank you.”

  “Take care, Shelby.” She turned away and walked up the stairs to be with her son, and I did the same by driving home to mine. Tenley was right about the dream. We were so close to having it, and I made a promise to myself not to question it.

  By the time I got back to our place, Shane was finished for the day. He was out in the barn with Wyatt, Luke, and Wade. Wyatt was holding one of the big rakes and trying with all his best effort to muck up Yankee’s stall. Why was this so awesome to witness? I smiled, and then Shane walked over and took me in his arms.

  “Hey, baby, where have you been?” he asked and then kissed me so passionately that I would feel it for days.

  “Someone is in a good mood. How was your day, Shane?”

  “Amazing. The new quarter horses arrived this morning. My dad and Ren have been working them out on the south ridge. Brock almost fell over when I was able to acquire all eight that were up for auction, but you know me and my negotiating skills.”

  “I do, and your smile says it all. So, I see you have put Wyatt to work. How’s he doing?”

  “He loves it and is a natural cowboy. I put him on Joker today, and I think they are best friends, which is a miracle in itself because that horse only has his name because of his past wild days. But to watch him welcome Wyatt the way he did, well, babe, I was in awe. Are you going to tell me where you went? Or am I going to continue to rattle on here?”