The You I Want for Life

by Alison Kent

  “I know what you meant, Eden. We both have a lot going on right now. And neither one of us needs the complication of a relationship.”

  She nodded. “You’re right.”

  “I mean, I’m not even going to be much of a friend for the next few months.” Jace began to pace. “I’ve promised the Browns to have The Glen finished by Labor Day. They’ve even given me the use of a spare bedroom. Stone Healen’s going to take care of Chelsea. I wanted to come by and tell you that, so you wouldn’t think I was avoiding you or anything. I mean, after last night I wasn’t sure what...”

  “I wouldn’t think that, Jace. I know how important your work is to you. No such thing as too many lines on a résumé.” Besides, keeping busy guarantees you won’t have time to make friends who you might later fail.

  “Speaking of that résumé,” he said and raised a finger. “I have one other thing I need to give you. Hang on. I’ll be right back.” He left through the back door but returned before Eden even found the time to catch her breath.

  Of course, there was really no need to catch it, not when she was sure she’d forgotten how to breathe. Her heart seized fast in her chest as Jace set two cradles, identical to the one she’d seen in his shop, on her kitchen table.

  With the barest touch of a finger, he placed one in motion. She wanted to tell him thank-you. She wanted to tell him she loved him. She wanted him to want her, to need her to stay.

  But he didn’t even give her a chance to say a word.

  He just leaned forward, kissed her cheek and whispered, “I’ll see you soon.” He was gone before she’d even looked away from the cradles.

  And once he left she finally found the strength to cry.

  THE GLEN’S GRAND OPENING was held the last Saturday in August, a week before the proposed date for completion the Browns had given Jace.

  The residents of Arbor Glen had been invited to a Friday-night buffet, where Paul conducted tours and Leah offered everyone a free night of lodging complete with complimentary breakfast.

  The gesture of goodwill was in part an appreciation of the residents’ support of the historic restoration. But Eden knew it was more.

  It was a gesture of good business. If everyone in town told two friends and they told two friends and so on and so on and so on, the Browns would soon be booked solid.

  Eden had planned to attend the open house with Tucker and Molly but had ended up driving out alone. She’d been caught with a last-minute story deadline and needed to fax off the proofed pages.

  Since that first desperate contact with the Elite Woman Magazine staff three months ago, Eden had appeased the career gods by agreeing to a series of articles—as much to keep her foot in the door as anything.

  She still hadn’t made a final decision about her future. But between the freelance work she was doing for the magazine and the incredible business she was doing at The Fig Leaf, she’d barely found time to sleep.

  And now she’d run out of time. The twins were due in two weeks and, for the moment, she could think of nothing else but the advent of motherhood.

  She’d seen Jace on the streets of Arbor Glen, but never to stop and talk to. A time or two he’d looked like he had something to say, but then he’d waved and moved on.

  It was just as well. She wasn’t going to make any progress toward the future if she continued to hang on to any part of her past.

  Standing at the foot of The Glen’s staircase, Eden came to a complete stop. That’s what she was doing, wasn’t it? Hanging on to her past.

  She hadn’t let go of New York. She hadn’t let go of the magazine. If she had, she wouldn’t be killing herself with the articles.

  And she hadn’t even let go of Jace. Here she was, on the precipice of motherhood—not to mention owning an amazingly profitable and fulfilling business—and she hadn’t cut the apron strings binding her to her New York past.

  She laughed once. Twice. And then she pulled out imaginary scissors and snipped.

  “Eden? I’d like you to meet some friends of mine.”

  Eden turned at the sound of Jace’s voice. He looked absolutely wonderful, wearing khaki Dockers and a crisp white oxford shirt. “Hello, Jace. You’re looking well.”

  “Thanks. I am well. And you’re...” His wide-eyed gaze landed on her belly.

  “Due,” she filled in.

  His smile was tender and loving and gave rise to so many questions she wanted to ask. But most of all, she wanted to tell him of her discovery. That here, standing in the house he’d restored, everything had fallen into place.

  “I was going to say overdue, but I’ll take your word for it.” He turned to his side then, to the three men there talking. “Eden, these are my friends. This is Kevin and Robert and Marv. The guys I told you about. They came to celebrate my unveiling.”

  “And this time he even showed up,” Kevin said, then ducked Jace’s imaginary punch.

  “I’m so pleased to meet you. To meet all of you.” Her gaze traveled among the three men. “Jace told me about the soccer team and about the prom and... well, I’m probably getting him in trouble here, aren’t I?”

  Jace raised one brow. “I think you’ve said enough. But that’s okay because I told them about your appetite.”

  This time Robert deflected Eden’s jab, stepping between her and Jace. “What he really told us about was your cooking.”

  Marv stepped in to interrupt, a hopeful expression on his face. “Shrimp Creole, I think he said?”

  “And I see you haven’t changed a bit, still haggling for free meals.” Arms crossed, Jace shook his head and imitated Molly’s tsk-tsk.

  Eden had never seen Jace this happy. Had never seen him with such a carefree expression. And she’d never realized how very very, much she loved this man.

  And as she stood there and witnessed the reunion of old friends, Eden’s water broke.

  Chapter Twenty

  “SHH, BABY. IT’S OKAY. You’re doing fine. We’re almost there.”

  Jace’s words filtered down to Eden’s ears. Regardless of her determination to show a brave front, she dug her fingers into the steel of his thighs.

  The muscles of her abdomen pulled fast, tightening over her distended belly like wet leather left in the sun. It hurt. Oh, God, it hurt. Like nothing she’d ever known. She’d never pay attention to a new-mother magazine again.

  Even her quick, rhythmic, blowing pants couldn’t stop the moans building in her throat. When the pain ended, she collapsed and let her head loll onto Jace’s shoulder, awaiting the next contraction.

  One hand on the wheel, Jace brushed her tangled hair from her face before checking her middle with his broad palm. His caress was rough but tender. Irritating. Comforting.

  She wanted him to stroke her forever. She wanted him to keep his hands to himself. Confusion reigned until she was certain of only one thing.

  She wanted Jace by her side.

  “How much longer?” she asked, her voice grating against her raw throat. She needed a drink of water. She needed to get drunk. Then she wouldn’t feel a thing.

  “Ten minutes. Fifteen tops.” Jace wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side.

  She grimaced. Then groaned. Another spasm ripped through her. Concentrate. Focus. She stared at the volume knob of the truck’s radio, listened to the low bass of Jace’s voice. Nothing helped. She tightened her hand on his thigh and squeezed.

  When the storm subsided, she collapsed like a rag doll minus the stuffing. “What time is it now?”

  He checked his watch. “They’re coming every seven minutes. One more and we’ll be at the hospital.”

  “Oh, Jace. I can’t wait that long. Just stop the truck. I’ll have the babies here.”

  Jace chuckled. “That’s my girl.”

  His words were sweet music. She wanted to be his girl. Wanted to be his everything. Fighting back a rush of fear, she begged, “Jace, stay with me.”

  “Every minute of the way.”

&nb
sp; She marginally relaxed, and even though she hadn’t meant to beg she’d give up her right arm before she’d take back a word. “I didn’t mean to take you away from your friends.”

  “Don’t worry, Eden.” His voice was soft and loving. A lover’s voice. “You didn’t take me away from anything.”

  Six-and-a-half minutes of silence later, the next contraction sliced through her. Perspiration soaked the back of her blouse. Sweat ran down her forehead and she squeezed her eyes shut over the salty burn. When they pulled into the emergency entrance, Eden whimpered.

  Heedless of blocking the drive, Jace whipped open his door and scooped her into his arms. She buried her face in his neck and exhaled in short, sharp, agonizing pants.

  “Hang on, Eden.” He mumbled the encouragement into her hair. His long strides carried them through the sliding glass doors. Sterile smells of pine and antiseptic soap swirled around. Running steps squeaked and thudded on the tiled floor.

  “Sir! Stop, please.” The deep voice commanded attention.

  Muttering a low curse, Jace shot a quick glance over his shoulder.

  “Sir, you can’t leave your truck in the drive like that.”

  Eden saw only a gunbelt and a starched blue uniform before the next squeezing cramp ripped her in two. “Jace!”

  “Park it. I’ll be in maternity.” Jace flipped his keys to the security officer before banging through the swinging metal doors into the maternity ward.

  Inside, order reigned supreme. Jace settled Eden into a wheelchair and she gasped. She couldn’t sit. The pressure on her lower body shot to the top of her head.

  A crisply efficient obstetric nurse wheeled her into a labor room. Scared, feeling abandoned, and hurting beyond words, she reached back.

  She needed Jace.

  The nurse patted her shoulder and leaned down to whisper in a low, calming voice, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Karr. He’s no more than three feet behind like a good man should be. Now, let’s get these babies delivered so you can see your feet again.”

  Eden managed a weak smile and then a groan as the nurse stopped the chair next to a table and laid a hospital gown on the end. No way.

  She couldn’t stand up. She couldn’t get out of her clothes. She couldn’t climb up there. But somehow she did all three, then collapsed back onto the pillow.

  After a quick prep and exam, the nurse proclaimed Eden well on her way to motherhood, then left to call the doctor, thrusting a set of scrubs at Jace on her way out.

  He took a tentative step into the room, gesturing with the hospital greens. “I guess she thinks I’m the father.”

  Pushing up on her elbows, breathing hard, Eden said, “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

  “Are you kidding? Only a fool would pass up a chance like this.”

  She reached for his hand, groaned and panted. Jace swabbed the sweat from her forehead with a cool cloth.

  “You doin’ okay?”

  She nodded, grunted, and rubbed her tongue over her dry lips. “You’d better see if the doctor’s decided to put in an appearance.”

  Jace bolted out the door, and the next thing Eden knew, a battalion of attendants descended, shifting monitors and IV bottles for the trip to delivery.

  Once inside all she felt was cold, but not enough to numb the pain. Transition hit hard, and she barely recovered from one contraction before the next struck.

  She existed in a pain-racked nightmare, the doctor between her legs, the nurses hovering close by, and Jace at her head, brushing the hair from her forehead. Her fingers bit into the sheet at her sides.

  “Okay, Eden. Let’s get cracking.” Dr. Tremont leveled her kindly gaze on Eden, her gray eyes crinkling at the corners. The look she pinned on Jace wasn’t kindly at all. “Glad to see you could make it for the final event, Dad.”

  “He’s not—” Eden began before Jace cut her off.

  “Shh, baby. Save your breath.”

  “Dad’s right,” Dr. Tremont interrupted, her tone no-nonsense and firm. “This little fella doesn’t have time to argue. When I count to three, push for all you’re worth. Ready? One. Two. Three.”

  Pressing up on her elbows with Jace’s arm to support her, Eden grunted. And pushed. And groaned until the contraction passed. Drained, she collapsed against the table.

  Less than a minute later, Dr. Tremont quietly commanded, “Let’s do it again.”

  And she did, pressing back against Jace as she bore down, and down, and down. Her cries echoed off the walls.

  “That’s it, Eden. Once more and you’ll be a mother.” The nurse to the right dabbed the sweat from the doctor’s brow.

  Jace did the same for Eden. Opening her eyes, she looked directly into his, red-rimmed yet full of the love he vehemently denied.

  Her own eyes welled in response, but before she could think any further her baby demanded her full attention.

  Please, please, let this be all. Another push. Another groan. And baby number one slid into the doctor’s hands.

  Eden dropped back on the table. “Who is it?”

  Jace turned to the nurse attending the crying infant. She finished, laying the swaddled bundle in Jace’s arms. “Here Dad. Hold your daughter while we finish up with Mom and number two.”

  Bethany.

  Standing near Eden’s head, Jace stroked the infant’s cheek, ear, and nose. The baby quieted, Jace looked up and Eden saw in his gaze a father’s love, love born in commitment and caring.

  In that moment, she knew she would love him forever.

  “Jace,” she managed to whisper. “Do you mind showing me my daughter before I get too busy to look?”

  “Oh, Eden. She’s gorgeous.” Jace laid the tiny bundle across Eden’s chest.

  Bethany was no bigger than the soft-sculpted dolls Eden sold in her shop. A dusting of mahogany hair feathered over her head.

  Eden nuzzled her lips across the tiny fist and swept one finger down her daughter’s ruddy red cheek. Tears matted her lashes as she looked up at Jace.

  “She is gorgeous.”

  “Just like her mother.” Jace brushed his lips across hers with an air of possession.

  The doctor cleared her throat at the same time Eden groaned. “There’ll be time for that later, Dad. Let’s get baby number two out of the way first. Nurse.” Dr. Tremont gave a quick nod, and the nurse swept Bethany from Eden’s chest.

  She felt the loss of the tiny weight as acutely as the pain knifing through her lower body. Then she felt Jace at her shoulder, muttering low words of encouragement and bracing her back as she strained.

  Five minutes and three pushes later, Benjamin entered the world. Exhausted and numb, Eden suffered through the final procedures and watched through heavy-lidded eyes as the obstetrical team cleaned up her son, again handing the bundle to Jace.

  “I’ll give the four of you about ten minutes to get acquainted, then these babies are off to the nursery and Mrs. Karr to recovery.” Returning Bethany to Eden’s chest, the interrupting nurse gave Jace a stern look. “Ten minutes.”

  At last, they were alone. Eden gulped down a huge breath. She glanced from her squirming red-faced daughter to her purple-splotched son to the man at her side, the man she loved.

  She had so much to say but no strength to talk or energy to order her thoughts. Exhaling long and slow, she found herself fighting to keep her eyes from drifting shut. Of all the stinking timing.

  “Do you want me to call the nurse?”

  Eden’s lids fluttered open. She smiled weakly and shook her head. “I think I can manage ten minutes without passing out.”

  Her gaze traveled from the blanket-wrapped bundle wiggling in Jace’s arms to the similar one nuzzling her chest. Anxiety and anticipation weighed heavy on her mind, but nothing could push away the overwhelming love.

  “Oh, Jace, they’re perfect. Absolutely beautiful.”

  “You did a hell of a job, Mom.” Jace cleared his throat and swiped a knuckle across one eye, then laid Ben next to Beth on Ede
n’s chest, cradling them both in the crook of his elbow.

  “Okay, Mrs. Karr,” the nurse with impeccable timing called from the doorway. Marching into the icy delivery room, she scooped both wrapped bundles from Eden’s chest. “Let’s get these babies settled in and you cleaned up.”

  “Jace—”

  “Shh.” Alone again, he brushed the hair back from Eden’s face. “You get some rest.”

  Closing her fingers around his, she brought his hand to her mouth, kissing each finger, then pressing her lips to the center of his palm. “How can I ever say thank you?”

  “You just did.” He repeated the gentle caress, then lowered his head.

  Eden closed her eyes and gave herself up, opening her lips to accept the pillow-soft pressure of his. Cool and clean, his mouth touched the corners of her mouth. Soft and stubbled, his chin grazed hers. Warm and damp, his breath breezed against her upper lip.

  A loud clearing of a throat penetrated Eden’s fog. Jace lifted his head and, bereft of his warmth, the shakes set in.

  In two steps the nurse was at her side, tucking the blanket around her shoulders before unlocking the wheels on the bed. “C’mon, Mom. It’s recovery for you.”

  “Wait,” Eden managed to order between chattering teeth. “Jace?”

  He squeezed her shoulder, her arm, her hand, and trailed his fingers from the tips of hers.

  “Good-bye, Eden.”

  Chapter Twenty-one

  PROPPED BACK ON A STACK of pillows, Eden nuzzled first Ben’s head, then moved her lips to Beth’s. Baby scent and sweet skin and the downy softness of newborn hair. Was there anything more precious?

  She remembered then that she’d once measured the preciousness of Chelsea’s puppies. Wondered then, too, if she had less maternal instinct than Jace’s dog. All these months later, the thought was nothing if not silly. Less maternal instinct than a dog? As if.

  Resting against her sore breasts, the tiny bodies seemed heavier than their respective four pounds, thirteen ounces and five pounds, two. But Eden wasn’t about to complain.