“I know you have the IUD because I’ve heard you and Mary discuss it,” he replies. “As far as diseases, that’s a concern but not enough that makes you less desirable. You are made for me just as I am made for you. Our bond will only intensify over time. Eventually, our physical connection will slow to snail pace, and we will be left with the other cocktails which define us, like our friendship, companionship and combined craziness. Besides, I would be elated to have children with you, even though now is not a good time. We need to get ourselves established first.”
“You really do know how to make me feel good about myself,” I practically sing in response. “I feel like I’m on the top of the world when I’m with you. For the first time in my life, I feel loved.”
“We aren’t even close to being finished tonight.” Jaxon tilts my chin towards his and starts kissing me again. “Our plane doesn’t leave until noon tomorrow. I have plenty of time to show you just how loved you are.”
He held onto his promise to me. He expressed his love for me six more times before we boarded our plane for Europe. My body and heart are simply spent.
Jaxon
Present
I pack the last of my uniforms and other personal essentials in my duffel bag. My superiors didn’t disclose the exact details of the latest mission, other than there are staffing reassignments. The mission is called Blue Water and I have been assigned as mission leader in Iran but my target is unknown until I get on Fort Melchior base in Germany. I have two days to report to base.
The secret op military life is in my blood and I thrive when I’m in action, but I’m also ready to settle down. I want to start my life with Jaycee and have a family, but she refuses to marry me until we are officially established. After six years together, we only share our hearts and home. Our engagement is endless, with no end in sight. Jaycee will not discuss a date until my professional schedule is less vigorous. She hasn’t expressed her feelings or voiced her opinion on how often my work pulls me away but it’s definitely thrown obstacles in advancing on with our life. At one point, I thought Jaycee was considering leaving me; she became extremely depressed and withdrawn and she wouldn’t communicate what the issue was. She lost her mother two years ago and I can only imagine that she’s still reeling from the effects of that loss.
I still have not shared with her about the first time I actually met her, nor confessed that I placed tracking devices in her engagement ring, vehicle and an implant in her butt-cheek. I slipped her a sleeping pill and waited until she was out cold before I quickly injected the device in her right cheek. I’m not proud of my devious actions, but I know what happens to loved ones with people in my position. We don’t live an elite, elaborate lifestyle with hired bodyguards following in each of our footsteps. We are ordinary people, living an ordinary life. I tinker with electronics, fix motors, and can build a house from the ground up. I’m a jack of all trades.
I secured the two of us a decent property, just a few miles away from her homestead. We live on 60 acres of land, mostly covered with heavy forestry. We have five main acres, wide open with luscious green grass and a variety of trees spread throughout the property. Our driveway is half a mile long which stretches from the main road up into the mountainside of our home. I built a three story home with an east and west wing with six bedrooms, eight bathrooms and a five car garage. I designed the house specifically to meet my specifications for having a family but also for security. Even though we don’t live elaborately, I put many security features in place. There is a sensor which alerts our house when a car enters our driveway. It sets off a silent alarm on each of our phones, tablets, computers, and main server at the house. There are cameras dispersed throughout our property. R.J. and I created a few underground bunkers with live security feed. I made a few different walking trails that all twist and turn around the property, but then all connect to one main walking trail, about 40 acres back. There are above ground and underground bunkers on each trail. I have one main bunker that leads from behind a picture in my office to the furthest edge end of my property line. R.J. has full administrative access to my security footage in the event that something ever happens to me. He is a genius in what he does. He can find a spider in the darkest of night with a lens the size of dime. I can only imagine the devices and gadgets he has on his wife, Ashley.
Jaycee and I share a unique connection that neither one of us can explain. We can feel each other’s presence before one of us enters a room with the same type of feeling that comes when someone is watching you. Like a heavy weight on your chest and the hairs on your neck slowly rise and goose bumps appear on your arms and legs. We laugh every time that happens to us but it’s just a sobering validation that we are soulmates. We belong together. I don’t casually share my heart’s desires with anyone except Jaycee. If she didn’t see my vulnerable side, wouldn’t I just be considered a monster, a killing machine torn between the praise of heaven or the scorching side of hell? I kill people; that’s what I am trained to do. I eliminate the waste off of our land and to do this, I am void of all emotion when I pull the trigger or beat them till their last breath. I try not to show that side at home, but there are days I’m hard on Jaycee. I can be a tyrant, stubborn ass, as she likes to call me on occasion.
“Are you packed and ready to go,” Jaycee asks from the doorway to the master suite.
“No, I have one more thing I need to take care of first,” I say, as I walk closer to her to close the gap. “You,” I breathe, as I reach for her.
I lean down and take her lips into mine. I don’t even wait for her to respond. I swoop her up in one quick motion and she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist.
I break away from devouring her lips and move my kisses to her neck. “Are you ready for me baby?”
“I’m always ready for you Jaxon,” she pants.
“I love it when you wear dresses…easy access.” I move her over to the bed, lay her down and slip her dress up over her hips. “You look delectable, my taube.”
I pull her black panties down her gorgeous legs and throw them over my shoulders. I grab her foot and start kissing her ankle and slowly move my way upwards. She’s laying below me, meowing and breathing heavily. She releases a loud exhale when I reach her sweet nectar and ravish her with my tongue in the most intimate way. She rests her hands above her head while her breasts push outward. Her legs quiver and shake under my magical spells. She looks so innocent and trusting as I bring her to climax. Her eyes connect with mine the instant she comes undone and in that most personal sacred moment, I can see all the love and admiration she has for me. It’s almost like her soul is telling mine that I’m the only one who exists for her. That look alone is more addicting than any drug.
She reaches for me and I move my way up her body until my mouth connects with hers. In that moment I thrust into her, capturing her cries. Nothing turns me on more than her moans of arousal and her cries the moment we connect. I know it hurts her when I first enter, but she loves it, craves it even.
“Harder, Jaxon. I want to feel you for weeks,” she cries.
And that was all it took before my beast was unleashed. I tear into her like she was my last breath of air expelled from my lungs. I bite into every exposed area of her body, creating love marks. Marking her as mine.
For the next few hours we explored every avenue of each other’s bodies with our mouths, our tongues, our sweat, and our love. I filled her with so much seed that she will not only feel me but will bleed me for the next few months.
Guardians
Always Watching
1 Corinthians 7:36
If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.
I rest on top of a cloud, twirling my hands, playing in the mist, recalling the events in my mind over the past several years with Jaycee. Josiah and I haven’t needed to intervene, lately, which is the way it’s suppo
sed to be. Guardians intervene when there are major issues regarding our charge’s safety or concern. Jaycee has no desire to marry Jaxon. I can sense it, I just don’t understand why. She loves him with every ounce of her being. Their souls are connected in a way that is rare, at least among their race. Soulmates exist, but it is often a struggle for the humans to believe and recognize each other as their soulmate. Humans have changed over generations, they are more self-absorbed and selfish, focused only on their own needs. They forget why they are blessed to be on earth.
A human soulmate may not be what one expects, so it’s easy for people to walk away and never return. When soulmates depart from each other, each human feels an endless void, constantly searching for happiness, the feeling of completeness and contentment.
Once a human connects on earth with a soulmate, it’s a connection that cannot be broken even if someone chooses to leave. The souls will constantly be searching for each other, like stars move through the galaxies. If they are not able to connect in a more physical form, than they connect spiritually and subconsciously. Humans will forever be haunted in their dreams and their waking minds by their soulmates.
I’ve witnessed my charges over the years longing for their soulmates to return. The dreams change, but tell the same story; they reconnect with their lost love. When they awake, the humans’ souls feel lighter. For a brief moment in time they feel complete again, but then the sadness resurfaces. It re-ignites the loneliness, the constant reminder of the love they lost. The subconscious reconnections with their lost soul when a travesty occurs, or a death, or when they need them the most.
I’ve watched humans for centuries; their behaviors may have changed slightly over time, but the outcomes are still the same. I’ve witnessed soulmates reconnect and live prosperous, happy lives. They had to explore the world first and find themselves, only to return and present their better selves the second time around. I’ve also seen when they don’t return to each other and never speak again, which is heartbreaking. God presented them with a gift that they chose to ignore.
Soulmates can feel one another’s presence before seeing each other. All of their senses are heightened because they are stronger when they are one. The closer the connection, the stronger the pull, like a magnetic field devouring every metal in sight. God says he puts people in our lives for a purpose. He strategically places them in each other’s lives when it’s the right time. Why is it so hard to believe in that?
It’s comical to watch when God places separated souls at the same place at the same time. I can feel their heart beats increase at an alarming rate. I can see their chests rise and fall faster than the speed of light. Their cheeks blush and turn cherry apple red, yet they won’t speak to one another. They won’t acknowledge each other. Their eyes will search for each other and the moment their eyes connect so does their hearts and soul. They are reunited, if only for a brief moment. And again, they ignore the God-given opportunity in front of them.
God is faithful, though, he will continue to present people to their soulmates. He will keep creating those opportunities for them to connect. God’s purpose all along is for humans to find their soulmates and to walk through life together. God is fantastic, isn’t he? He returns what is lost. It may not be the same as what it was before it was lost, but it will be better, and it will always be what it’s supposed to be.
Humans aren’t presented with only one soulmate. When one is returned to the Lord, or if you are divorced or separated, he will send another to walk through life together. He will send you love to shower you with patience and peace. The common misconception with the human race, especially over the past hundred years, is it’s easier to walk away than to help each other. Humans claim they are unhappy with their mate so they leave. But no person can rely on someone else for their happiness. Happiness comes from within.
God will never forsake the human race. He loves them, believes in them and, more importantly, he died for them. He wants them to be happy, successful, wealthy in riches of love, compassion, understanding and loyalty. He wants them to believe in him, trust in him, share his word and tell his story. He wants his humans to keep his word alive, to teach their children about him and how merciful he is.
Jaxon and Jaycee are beautiful soulmates. They have a true connection, so why do I sense that she doesn’t want to marry him? She has committed herself to him, offered him everything she has to give. God doesn’t judge when the act of human love is consensual and their feelings and affections are mutual otherwise, he wouldn’t bless the union of two people. God said it wouldn’t be easy, but he’d make a way for those who truly believe in him and his glory.
Jaycee struggles at night, with the demons from her past; the evil entities who appear to her in her dreams. They taunt her just by their presence. I can see them in her dreams, but I’m helpless to stop them. This is a struggle that she needs to learn how to overcome on her own.
She’s at a delicate age; one where she must face major life decisions and question whether she is making the right choices. She was ecstatic when he first asked for her hand in marriage but her resolve quickly diminished. She needs to pray to God and ask him what she should do. She needs to have faith in herself and her decisions. I’m confident she will make the choice that’s best for her and her future.
Josiah and I didn’t trust Jaxon, at first and I felt that he was the reason Abaddon appeared. Why did the demon appear that frightful day if it wasn’t because of Jaxon? Or did he appear for Wyatt? I still don’t know; he hasn’t reappeared since.
“What are you doing up here,” Josiah asks, his wings closing as he settles beside me.
“Oh, nothing really. I’m trying to understand why Jaycee doesn’t want to marry Jaxon, especially with the strong connection they share.”
“Humans are afraid of things that they don’t understand.” Josiah explains. “Give her time to find herself and she’ll find her way. Sometimes humans need to get lost before they are found.”
Josiah pauses, “I just came back from a meeting with the Elders and I’m afraid I have some troubling news about Jaycee. I’ve been told that we need to keep alert, a life altering event is about to occur. They didn’t give me specifics, but told me that we need to prepare.”
“How are we supposed to prepare if we don’t know what we’re up against,” I ask. “Can’t you find out any additional information? Can the Elders at least tell us how to prepare?”
“I did ask them,” Josiah confirms. “They said it’s too soon to know exactly what’s going to happen. The outcome is still unknown; I suppose they can’t see how it is going to end. They just simply said the ending depends on Jaycee. That’s all I know.”
I accept the news Josiah shared with me and I seek the will of the Lord. “Father, I ask you to protect Jaycee from these events that are about to occur. Keep her in your graces and know that she loves you. Please help her find her way. Let your will be done. In your name, Father. Amen.”
“Amen,” Josiah said in agreement.
Jaycee
Present
Jaxon sleeps peacefully as I leave our bedroom and head towards his office. I grab a tablet and pen, continue through the house and out of double doors to the lanai. He deserves to know what’s been going on with me, why I’ve been distant lately, although it doesn’t feel like I’ve been distant. I’m an introvert by nature and I recharge when I’m alone. Writing has always been my outlet, ever since I was a little girl. I’ve been writing less and less over the years, I feel like I’ve lost my muse in life, but the words always linger on the tip of my tongue.
I relive the moments I had with Wyatt in my mind and question what would have been if I never met Jaxon. Wyatt and I were so hot and cold, but the constant in our relationship was the same, he always left. It always ended with my heart being broken by his rejection. I know I need to forgive him, but how can you forgive someone who doesn’t know they need to be forgiven? At least now, I know what reciprocated love feels like. After
knowing love like this, I will never settle for anything less.
My mind races to my mother. God, do I miss her! The saying is true…nobody has your back like your mama. Even so, I don’t dwell on her death. I focus on the life we shared and my memory of her. She comforted me during every heartbreak I experienced. She gave me words of encouragement. Her words ring loud in my memory even louder now that she’s gone.
“Jaycee the only thing that heals a broken heart is time,” she used to say. “Time has no reason to hurry or to slow, it’s an unseen mystery that has no beginning or end. It is designed to flow through life and heal everything that is broken. Your heart included, dear.”
That was the first and last time she ever shared any philosophical views with me but a lesson I will always remember.
I look into the sky and search for a shooting star, hoping that I can find one but one never comes. I find that I look for shooting stars more frequently, silently hoping it’s my mother waving hello.
I muster my strength and begin to write Jaxon a parting letter.
My Dearest Jaxon,
This is a bit unconventional, writing you a letter versus typing you an email, but I connect better the old fashioned way. Before I continue any further, I want you to know that this is not a ‘Dear John’ letter, so you can calm your fears and read with an open mind and heart.
I know that I’ve been spacey lately and haven’t been communicating well. You deserve an explanation. You are leaving me again and even though I understand why, it frightens me that you might not return to me. I’m scared God will call you home, just like he did my mother. You have been the most supportive and loving partner anyone could ask for. I do want to marry you, but I’m terrified that I will lose myself when I do. I always thought of myself as a strong and independent woman, but apparently my perception of myself is faulty.
Shattered (Guardian Series Book 1) Page 8
