by Jena Wade
“He’ll go because he knows that you’ll be there. Trust me; the guy can’t stay away from you. He loves you.”
Jason rolled his eyes. He’d believe that when pigs flew. “Whatever.”
“Think about it. He managed to hide his sexuality for years, yet he kissed you in the middle of the arena, in front of everyone. You think he did that just because?”
“Then he pushed me away and ran off because it was a mistake. He didn’t mean to; he got caught up in the moment. That ain’t love.”
“Well, I never said he was smart. I said he was in love. That’s about as dumb as a man can get.”
Wasn’t that the truth. Jason hadn’t been able to think straight in months.
Because he was in love with Lucas. He slapped his forehead with a groan.
Fuck. Why hadn’t he told Lucas that?
Cory patted his shoulder and smiled. “Finally. You get it. Now, get out of here.”
“I don’t have a truck or trailer.”
Cory tossed him his keys. “Take mine. It’s all hooked up; load Argo and get on the road.”
Jason didn’t give it another thought. He took off running and called out, “Thanks.”
Now, to make a plan to win Lucas back.
* * * *
Lucas pulled off his sunglasses to let his eyes adjust to the dim light of the bar. The place was a dive. Four or five people sat around the mismatched tables. No two chairs were the same. Some of the tables leaned to one side like they could topple over at any moment.
The food better be good.
Lucas’s stomach rumbled as the smell of the fryers in the kitchen hit him. He’d been driving too long without stopping. The last few days had been a blur. He’d avoided all contact with people since he’d outed himself at the rodeo.
A few of the other rodeo regulars had called him. Guys he’d considered friends. He never answered his phone, and they never left messages. He didn’t want to hear what they had to say. Good or bad.
Lucas had returned home to face his mom and brother. They’d welcomed him with open arms, of course. Like Jason had told him, they’d known he was gay, and they had been waiting for him to come out on his own. How many others knew? How many other things had he been so wrong about?
No time to think about Jason. He sat at the bar and ordered a burger and fries when the bartender asked what he wanted.
Halfway through his meal, a hand clapped him on his back as a familiar man sat beside him. Shit. Darren.
“Lucas. I knew that was your truck. Where the hell have you been?”
“Hey, Darren. Just been busy.” Avoiding the world. And he’d failed.
Darren cleared his throat. “Are you and, um, Jason heading to Vegas soon?”
Lucas shook his head but said nothing. There wasn’t anything to say. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t be having this conversation. He lifted his water glass, keeping himself busy, hoping he wouldn’t have to say much more before Darren got the hint.
“Is it because—”
Lucas set the water glass on the counter, the glass clinking loudly against the rough surface of the bar. “Look, man, I don’t really want to talk about this. I just want to finish my lunch and be on my way.”
Darren held up his hands. “All right. I understand.” He stood and walked away.
Lucas should have been relieved, but instead he felt even more like a coward. Was he going to keep hiding from this the rest of his life?
“You know…” Darren returned to the bar and Lucas reluctantly looked up. “No one cares that you and Jason are…whatever you are.”
“Gay?” Lucas asked.
“Well, I meant that we don’t care that you’re a couple. Kind of explains why the two of you never went out with us to the bar after the rodeos.” Darren smiled. “None of anyone’s business, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Bullshit. You mean to tell me that not one of the guys cares?”
Darren shrugged. “Well…”
“That’s what I thought.”
“C’mon, man, there’s always going to be assholes out there. Who cares what they think? I’ve heard far more positive comments about you than I have negative. That’s worth something, I think.”
Lucas cleared his throat. “Doesn’t matter. Ja-Jason and I aren’t a couple. We aren’t anything.” That was Lucas’s fault. He could admit that. What he wasn’t sure about was how to fix it.
“What? You’ll be at finals though, right? You guys got this in the bag. You can’t miss it.”
“No.” Lucas took a sip of his water. “We won’t be there.” An emptiness settled around him at the finality of his words, as if saying them aloud made them true. Real. It was over.
“You might not be there, but I swear I heard that Jason was headed that way. He borrowed Cory Matthew’s truck and trailer.”
“What?” What the hell was Jason going to do at finals? Did he expect to see Lucas there?
Lucas picked up his phone, No missed calls. No texts. Jason wasn’t trying to reach out to him.
“He’ll be there alone then.”
“If you say so. Be a shame to let all your hard work go to waste like that. I’m sure you two can work it out.” Darren turned to leave. This time he didn’t come back.
Questions flew around in Lucas’s head, making him dizzy. Why was Jason going to Vegas? Why hadn’t he called? Was Lucas really going to let Jason show up in Vegas to face the consequences of their actions alone?
Damn it.
There was no way he was going to let Jason do this without him. He’d gotten them into this mess. He’d get them out. And maybe, just maybe, they could talk about some things.
Lucas tossed a few bills on the bar to cover his meal and headed out the door. If he left now, loaded up Rain, he would make it to Vegas in a day and a half. Already, he was mapping out a route in his head to get to Jason as fast as he could. Too bad figuring out what he would do when he saw him wasn’t so easy.
* * * *
Jason didn’t know what he expected to happen when he found Lucas. If he found Lucas.
It wasn’t like their eyes would meet from across the room and time would stand still so they could run into each other’s arms, murmuring apologies and promising to love each other forever. Cue the sappy music.
Yeah. That’s how it would happen. Not.
In the background, over the noise of the crowd, the announcer’s voice rang out. “All roping teams to the main area. We’ll begin the first round in twenty minutes.”
Fuck.
Jason’s heart pounded as panic set in. He needed to find Lucas. Fast.
Of all the scenarios Jason had run through his head in preparation for today, Lucas not showing up wasn’t one of them.
What would he do then? Go back home with his tail between his legs? Let go of the only thing that’d ever mattered to him? Accept defeat?
No. None of those were options.
Lucas would be here. No matter what had happened between then, no matter how scared he was about being out, he wouldn’t let Jason face this alone.
A hand landed firmly on Jason’s shoulder. He turned to see who it belonged to, hoping that it was Lucas.
He wasn’t disappointed. Initially. Lucas stood in front of him, a sight for sore eyes, wearing a clean, pressed, blue button-down shirt.
Jason’s gaze roved over Lucas’s body. He was dressed in his riding gear, a good sign. He wore the belt buckle Jason had bought for him a few years back for his birthday. Another good sign?
Once Jason’s gaze reached Lucas’s eyes, Lucas turned away.
“Lu—”
“We better get going if we’re going to make it on time. Argo ready to ride?” Lucas’s voice was even and clear. Just like Jason remembered it, and like he heard in his dreams.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. He needed to get a grip.
Not trusting his voice, he nodded.
“Good. Let’s go.”
Jason followed Lucas through the stables, w
here, presumably, they were going to get their horses and get ready to ride.
* * * *
Lucas drummed his fingers nervously over his thigh as he sat atop Rain, waiting for their names to be called for the roping competition.
He could feel the gazes of the other cowboys around them; the unspoken questions hung in the air. Any minute now he expected them to grab their torches and pitchforks and drive the two gay cowboys out of the rodeo.
Lucas kept his eyes on the arena, watching the competition completing their rounds. It would be tough if they wanted to win this. They had their work cut out for them.
He sneaked a glance at Jason, sitting next to him on Argo. Jason chatted with some of the workers and even some of the riders. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. As if nothing had changed and everything was back to normal.
Lucas didn’t know how he could be so calm after what had happened at the last rodeo.
Lucas hadn’t heard any snide remarks or gotten any glares yet, but they were coming. No way would everyone accept them.
After today, there was a chance Lucas would never return to the rodeo circuit. That had been the original plan anyway, long before Lucas and Jason had become…whatever they were.
“Hey, Lucas, glad to see you guys made it. There was talk that you weren’t gonna show up.” Ryan another roping competitor, walked up to Lucas and Rain, holding out his hand.
Lucas braced himself for…something, and stuck out his hand.
To his surprise he wasn’t pulled off his horse and beaten to a bloody pulp by a mob of angry cowboys. Instead, Ryan shook his hand.
He found his voice to croak out, “Yeah. We made it.”
Ryan nodded. “Well, good luck. I wouldn’t feel right taking home the win unless I competed against you two.”
Lucas laughed, almost forgetting that he was supposed to be on guard. “What makes you so sure you’ll head home with the title?”
“I’m not so sure, now that you two are here.” Ryan winked and turned away.
Huh. He wasn’t sure what to think of that.
He looked over at Jason, and their gazes met. Jason smiled a slow, small grin that hit Lucas square in the chest. He turned away; they didn’t have time for that right now.
The announcer called their names.
Go time.
Lucas prepared himself for the ride. He blocked out the noise of the crowd and focused on Rain and Jason and Argo. They were a team, and they could do this. Forget about the troubles outside of the arena. Right now the only thing he cared about was roping a steer and making Jason proud.
Jason gave him a nod as they entered the gates together.
His rope felt right in his hands. Smooth. Ready to fly. No panic, no fear, no hesitation.
The steer was released, and like they’d done a million times before, Argo lunged forward, intent on following the loose animal.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jason let his rope fly. It landed squarely on the steer’s horns, and Jason tightened the rope, spinning the steer in perfect position for Lucas.
It was now or never. Do or die.
With one fluid motion, Lucas released his lasso from his fingers. The rope caught the steer’s back legs. Lucas pulled it tight.
It was done. Round one complete and successful. Relief washed over Lucas, knowing they were halfway there.
Their time put them at the top of the competition. But they still had one more round.
They dismounted once they left the arena, and led the horses back to their stalls.
They received a few congratulations and high fives from other competitors on their way through, but they didn’t look at one another. So many things had been left unsaid between him and Jason; Lucas didn’t know where to start.
It wasn’t until Lucas left Rain’s stall that he realized Jason wasn’t with him. Since they hadn’t checked in together, they had been assigned stalls in different areas. So close, yet so far away.
Wasn’t that how it felt in the arena? Jason was close enough to touch, yet he might as well be a million miles away.
Lucas leaned against the stall door and took a deep breath. One more round and it would be all over.
“Hey, damn good ride, man.”
Lucas mumbled thanks as one of the other competitors in the rodeo walked past him.
His blood still pounded in his veins from the adrenaline rush in the arena. It had been a good ride. They really could win it all this year.
Would that be enough?
“Hey. There you are.”
Lucas heard the familiar clap of Jason’s boots on the cement. He braced himself for whatever would happen now. They hadn’t had much time to talk before the first round. But now it seemed that Jason had cornered him.
“Jas—”
Jason covered Lucas’s mouth with his hand, standing unbearably close to him. “Shut up. I’m going to talk. You’re going to listen.”
Lucas pierced him with a hard stare but didn’t struggle. Last thing they needed was to cause a scene. He glanced around the space as best as he could, but wasn’t able to see much with Jason just inches away.
“Don’t worry about the crowd. Don’t worry if other people can see us. Focus on me.”
Temptation bubbled inside Lucas. Wouldn’t that be nice? Not to care what others thought and be themselves. Together. As close as they wanted to be.
“Lucas.” Jason’s voice was just above a whisper. “I’ve missed you. I know you feel something for me. You’re too fucking scared to admit it.”
Lucas started to push away. They couldn’t do this now. Not here.
Jason removed his hand from Lucas’s mouth and let up enough that Lucas was able to move away, but Jason caught his arm.
“Don’t go. Say something.” Jason’s eyes begged for a response.
Lucas let out a ragged breath. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“You won’t even try.”
“What about you? You want a ranch of your own, right? Where the hell do I fit in?” Lucas struggled to pull away, but Jason held him tight.
“Right next to me. Where you belong.” Jason dropped his hand, letting Lucas free. “That’s what I want. No matter what happens in the arena, I want you with me. Forever. Now it’s your turn. Figure out what you want and tell me.”
Lucas looked around at the curious crowd that had gathered during their emotional showdown. Fuck. Panic set in. He had to turn away, and before he knew it he was walking away from Jason again.
“Wrong answer, Lucas,” Jason called out.
Lucas stopped in his tracks. He knew that Jason was right. He couldn’t let fear dictate how he lived. Couldn’t let it get in the way of his happiness, of his dreams.
Just as he turned back to Jason, willing himself to finally admit out loud how he felt, a rope flew over his head and tightened around his waist. He fought against it, unsure of what the hell had happened.
He looked up as Jason pulled on the rope, drawing Lucas closer.
“Nuh-uh, you aren’t getting away that easy. I’m roping you in and tying you down. No more running. No more hiding. Your stubborn ass is mine.”
The crowd roared with laughter and a lot of applause.
Lucas drowned them out. All he could focus on was Jason, on the hungry look of love in his eyes.
It didn’t matter who was around, or who saw, or what tomorrow might bring. With Jason, everything would be fine.
“Oh, really?” Lucas quirked his lips into a half smile, still stuck with the tightened lasso around his waist and arms.
“Yeah. Really. Now, are you going to cooperate, or do I have to hog-tie you in front of all these people?”
A small seed of doubt crept into Lucas’s happiness. “What about your ranch?”
Jason smiled. “Like I said, your ass is mine. That means you and me are in this together. We can work it out.”
Lucas remained quiet for a while. He looked at the floor and shook his head, biting back a laugh.
/>
“Lucas?” Jason’s voice held a touch of concern, like he thought Lucas would reject him.
Lucas looked up. “Get this thing off me, so I can kiss you properly.”
Jason’s smile beamed, and he didn’t waste any time. He loosened the rope and tossed it to the ground.
He pulled Lucas into his arms, pressing his lips squarely on Lucas’s. The crowd around them continued to clap, wolf-whistling their approval.
Lucas pulled back. “We going to go win this thing or what?”
Jason shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I got all I need right here.”
Epilogue
Six months later
“No. No. No. Don’t stack them there. We need that space for the straw.”
Jason rolled his eyes. Thank God Lucas was sexy as hell, ’cause he’d never realized how fucking picky he was. “The straw isn’t coming until next week. By that time we’ll have used all this hay, so that’s why I’m putting it here instead of stacking it in the loft.”
Lucas seemed to ponder for a moment but finally nodded. “Okay, that makes sense.”
Jason couldn’t help but grin. “Damn right it does—I thought of it. If we’d done it your way, we’d be doing double the work for no reason.”
Lucas’s gaze never left Jason as he hopped off the truck and tucked his gloves into his pocket. “So what do you think we should do with our extra time?” Lucas snagged one of Jason’s belt loops and pulled their hips together.
“We don’t have time for that.” He wished they did. Jason pushed at Lucas’s chest and tried to turn away. “We have to get the stalls ready for the horses your brother is dropping off in”—he looked at his watch—“an hour.”
“He can wait.” Lucas pulled Jason’s head down and smashed their lips together.
As always, Lucas tasted like sweat and hard work and pure man. Jason couldn’t get enough of it. Even after six months of living and working together, he still craved Lucas’s touch.
Two weeks after the finals, they’d purchased their ranch, which they named Second Chances, and since then they hadn’t looked back.
Jason ran his fingers through Lucas’s hair, damp from the sweat from their hard work today. Stacking hay bales for winter was their least favorite of the ranch chores, but together they made it bearable.
