After the Fire

by Felice Stevens

  Carrying the rest of the six-pack, he trekked into the living room. With a tired grunt, he flopped onto the sofa, not even taking the time to remove his shoes. A glance at his watch showed the time as well after midnight. Most of his co-workers had headed off to a club in Tribeca after they’d left the office, but Luke had zero interest in standing around, chatting up some random guy. Not even the thought of an easy blowjob could tempt him. His health wasn’t worth it. Drugs flooded the clubs these days, and he knew many of the regulars who hung out at those places did them; even some of the guys at the firm indulged. Drugs and the people who used them disgusted Luke. Only the weak let themselves get pulled into that world. He’d seen plenty when he ran away and had been offered a variety numerous times but avoided it at all costs. Unless he had no say in the matter.

  Shaking from those haunting memories, Luke forced them out of his mind. He wondered what Jordan did in the evening to pass the lonely hours, and completely on a whim, pulled out his cell phone, found Jordan in his contacts, and pressed the call button. He set the bottle on the floor next to him and closed his eyes as he lay back on the sofa. The phone rang once, twice; then Jordan’s voice, low and rough from sleep, answered.

  “Dr. Peterson.”

  Oh fuck. Yeah, he’d probably think it was an emergency call. “Um, Jordan, it’s Luke.”

  No answer.

  “Lucas Conover? Jordan, are you there? Did I wake you?”

  A deep sigh filled the phone receiver. “Give me a moment.”

  Luke heard sheets rustling and movement. While he waited, he pulled off his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and toed off his shoes. Settling back again on the pillows of the sofa, he closed his eyes.

  “Why are you calling me? Don’t you know it’s after midnight, for Christ’s sake?” As usual, Jordan’s irritated voice only made Luke smile. He did love to push the guy’s buttons. And the fact remained he had no idea why Jordan piqued his interest. Maybe it was in how hard Jordan loved Keith; Luke respected the hell out of the man who took his relationship so seriously.

  “Maybe if you’d talk to me during the day or at the meetings these past few weeks, I wouldn’t have to track you down and wake you from your beauty sleep.” Luke chuckled at the outraged breath that hissed in his ear.

  “I wasn’t aware we had anything else to say to each other.” That frosty, pissed-off tone was pure Jordan. He had that prep-school asshole thing going on, yet Luke wanted to hold onto the thread of friendship he’d sensed beginning those nights in the restaurant and in Jordan’s kitchen. “You apologized, I accepted, and that’s it.”

  “Look. I know I fucked up and I’m sorry for the kiss but I did mean what I said. I think you’d feel much better if you built up some strength, and I can help. Besides,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood, “Sasha was pretty sweet on me, and I wouldn’t want the dog to mope around, nursing a broken heart.”

  “You’re an asshole, you know?” Jordan’s growl only made him laugh.

  “Yeah, but animals and little old ladies love me.”

  “Why are you bothering me, Lucas?” The resigned tone reentered Jordan’s voice. “I’m fine as I am.”

  Back to that challenge. “Bullshit. Come on, Jordan. What’s the matter, afraid you’ll fail? Won’t be able to keep up with me?” For some indefinable reason, a wicked smile curved his lips. “I’ll go easy on you, considering you’re so much weaker than I am.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Then meet me tomorrow at Power Fitness on Eighth and 17th. We’ll start on a regimen to get you back into shape.” Luke dropped the joking tone and turned serious. “Eleven o’clock?” He held his breath waiting for an answer.

  “Pushy bastard.” Jordan’s annoyance came through loud and clear. “You aren’t going to leave me alone until I show you you’re wrong. I’ll meet you then and prove I’m fine and don’t need your help.”

  The phone clicked off. Luke grinned to himself as he got ready for bed, ridiculously happy.

  Challenge accepted.

  At five minutes to eleven the next morning, Luke strolled into Power Fitness—the gym he’d belonged to for the past several years. He gave a perfunctory greeting to the young woman who checked him in at the front desk; then he scanned the waiting area. No sign of Jordan yet.

  Luke decided to change in the locker room first. He liked to take a shower and have a change of clothes so he didn’t have to walk home all sweaty from his workout. After pulling on the thin T-shirt and light sweatpants he normally wore, he slung a towel around his neck and returned to the reception desk. Jordan sat on the bench, looking out of sorts and out of place. As he did each time he saw the man, Luke sensed something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

  “Good morning.”

  There it was. That blue-eyed stare that had caught his attention the first time they’d met. As hard as he tried, Luke was unable to dismiss this man from his mind. Admittedly he hadn’t tried too hard.

  “What’s good about it? You woke me out of a sound sleep and made me come here, when I could’ve been home—”

  “Doing nothing as usual?” Luke cut off Jordan’s grumbling. “Stop bitching and start moving.” He walked past Jordan and waved him to follow. “Put your stuff in a locker, then we’ll hit the weights first, and you can show me what you’ve got.”

  Luke waited while Jordan did as he suggested, then they walked in silence until they reached the weight room. For a Saturday morning, it was relatively empty. A few other guys, headphones in place, sat at the machines, their concentration solely on their workout. Luke scanned the room and indicated to Jordan they should approach the bench press area.

  “Come this way. What was your usual workout like?” The bar was set with one-hundred-pounds total weight.

  Jordan’s eyes darted off to the side, and he shifted on his feet. “I, ah, I wasn’t ever a lifter. I’m not the muscle-bound type. I ran mostly and did some yoga.” At Luke’s smile his voice rose, becoming defensive. “I did it for stress relief, after long days of surgery.”

  “Hey, I’m not one to judge.” But his smirk grew broader. “Of course, if you don’t think you can do it—”

  “Screw you. I can do anything I want to.” Jordan threw down his towel and lay back on the bench. “Spot me.”

  Luke had to bite back a laugh at Jordan’s angry growl. “All right, Prep School. Calm down.” Jordan lay down on the bench and reached for the bar, and Luke stood behind him to give him instructions. “Lift it slow and even on both sides.”

  “I know.” The words came out through gritted teeth.

  Right away, Luke could see Jordan was barely able to lift the bar. It wouldn’t do any good to call him out on it, as Jordan was the type who’d rather hurt himself than admit defeat. The man was way too stubborn.

  “You know, we should probably have started out with some sit-ups and stretches first, to warm your body and loosen up.” That sounded plausible to him and not too obvious that he didn’t think Jordan could lift the weight.

  Jordan pushed through five more lifts before setting the bar back on the rack. His flushed face shone with a damp sheen of perspiration, and his breath puffed out heavily. “I could’ve handled it.” But he looked happy to get off the bench.

  “I saw, Prep School. But I’m running this show, and I say to the mat now.” He strode over to the workout mat and sat down. “Sit-ups. Let’s do fifty of them.”

  Jordan stood over him for a minute, and Luke couldn’t help but stare. The man had a perfect ass, the thin nylon shorts he wore leaving little to his imagination. Against his will, Luke’s cock hardened.

  Focus, buddy. You’re not here to score. “Hands behind your head. Keep your core tight and your legs straight. Look up at the ceiling and lift, using your stomach muscles, not your neck.”

  “I’ve done sit-ups before. I know how to do them.” Jordan’s black scowl only spurred Luke to goad him further.

  “You may think you know, Pr
ep School. Now I’m showing you the right way.” He placed his hand on Jordan’s abdominal muscles to make sure he was doing it right. At his first touch, the man nearly jumped away from him. “Calm down. I need to check your form.”

  Uncertain blue eyes met his.

  “Do a set of twenty-five for me now.”

  Jordan blinked, then jerked a nod and lay back. Luke kept his palm flat on Jordan’s stomach as the man rose, then lay back. Underneath his fingers, the slippery fabric couldn’t hide the tautness of Jordan’s muscles or the heat from his body. As he counted in his head, Luke could hear Jordan’s exhalations and feel the clench of his stomach muscles. The man’s body was all lean, sinewy muscle, with very little mass to him. Luke wondered how the softness of Jordan’s bare skin would taste, and lost himself in the thought of licking down Jordan’s—

  “Lucas.”

  He blinked and jerked his hand off Jordan’s body. “Why do you call me Lucas, when everyone calls me Luke?”

  Jordan shrugged. “I don’t know. I decided Luke sounds like a cowboy, and you’re a city boy.”

  Not really, but what the hell. Luke nodded. “So your form is decent. I’d have you do three sets of twenty-five sit-ups to build up your core. What you need to do is concentrate on strength. As I suspected, you have little to no muscle mass.”

  “I’m not built like that. Keith tried to build me up and failed.” His gaze dropped to the mat, and his fingers twisted the edges of his shorts.

  “I’m not trying to build you up, Prep School. I want to make you stronger.” Luke watched him carefully. Now that he was so physically close, Luke noticed the slight tremble in Jordan’s fingers and the occasional twitch of muscles in his arms and legs. “Hey, are you all right? You’re shaking.”

  As if he hadn’t heard him, Jordan remained staring at the ground.

  “Jordan, man. Are you all right?” A bit afraid that he’d pushed him too far between the lifting and the sit-ups, Luke shook Jordan’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

  “Huh? What? Nothing.” Jordan blinked and rubbed his eyes. “I must’ve zoned out for a moment.”

  Something was definitely off, and it frustrated Luke that he couldn’t figure it out. “Well, let’s do some stretching, and then we can see about some free weights.” He paused. “Does that work for you?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  He took Jordan through a routine of free weights and noted in his phone the weights and reps. “So do you think this is something you can handle? I think if you do this three times a week and eat properly, you’ll regain your strength. Maybe even become stronger.”

  “Sure, it’s fine.” Jordan’s phone buzzed. As they walked back to the locker room, he checked it, and Luke saw him bite his lip and hesitate over returning the text.

  “Bad news?”

  They entered the locker room, and Jordan slumped down onto the bench, indicating Luke should sit next to him. Jordan rested his elbows on his knees, bracing his head in his hands, obscuring his face from Luke’s view.

  “No, merely another obligation I’ve been ignoring for months that I shouldn’t have.” Jordan’s eyes met his through the fall of his hair. He blew out a gusty breath and sat up straight. “See, for years, we all visited Drew’s grandmother, Esther, on Sundays. We’ve known her all our lives. She raised Drew and his sister, Rachel, after their parents were killed. Esther’s close to ninety and still going strong, but we like to keep an eye on her.”

  “Sounds nice, if you’re into all that family stuff.” He wasn’t, since you can’t want what you never had. Luke leaned back on his hands and continued to listen.

  “She’s a special lady, and loves having a house full of young people.” A smile flickered on his lips as his eyes softened. “She especially loved Keith since he’d bring her chocolate all the time.”

  “You didn’t mind going?” Strange that the cool, indifferent Jordan Peterson would care about someone else’s relative.

  “Of course not. I love her like she was my own grandmother. But I haven’t seen her in months, and that text was from Drew, pleading with me to come tomorrow. It’s her birthday this week, and they’ll all be there. Drew and his boyfriend, his sister Rachel and Mike.” His fingers twisted together. “They want me to come.”

  Once again, Luke noticed how his hand shook. “So go. They’re your best friends.”

  Jordan balled his hands into fists. “You don’t understand. They’re all paired up now, and I’m alone. I sound like a fucking wuss, but I don’t think I can face walking in there by myself, without Keith. Seeing all that happiness. Shit, I thought I was past it but…” He shrugged. “It fucking sucks because I hate the thought of disappointing Esther.” They sat in silence for a while; then Jordan’s face brightened. “I have an idea.”

  Luke, tired of sitting for so long, had gone to his locker and fiddled with the combination. “Yeah? What, Prep School?”

  “What the fuck is with that name?” Jordan shot a scowl at him.

  Luke couldn’t help but grin. “It fits you perfectly, and it pisses you off.”

  Jordan gave him the finger, a wicked smile curving his lips. Uh-oh. Luke didn’t like the look of that smile.

  “Come with me.”

  Luke froze and huffed out a nervous laugh. “What?”

  “Come with me. Keep me company. Eventually, you’ll have to meet the guys anyway since they’re going to be involved with my work at the foundation. I can pick you up tomorrow morning. It’s only a few hours.” Those pale blue eyes gleamed. “Besides, Esther’s an amazing cook.”

  “Look, it’s nice of you to offer, but I don’t know you guys, and I’d feel weird going to some old lady’s house for her birthday.” Luke’s fingers fumbled with the combination, and mercifully it opened so he could hide from those piercing eyes.

  With a swiftness Luke didn’t think he possessed, Jordan appeared at his locker, crowding him into the small space. “Esther would flay you alive if she heard you call her old.” That arrogance dropped from Jordan’s voice, replaced by a warm, almost intimate tone. “Please, Lucas. I’m as close to begging as I’ve ever been. I don’t think I can do this alone.”

  Lucas. Jordan’s seductive voice curled around Luke’s spine, and he closed his eyes. The scent of Jordan’s cologne mixed with the sharp tang of their sweat and heat, creating a dizzying need within Luke he’d never before experienced. He imagined Jordan underneath him, begging in that same sexy tone. His cock stiffened and he stood still, keeping the lower half of his body hidden behind the open locker door.

  He didn’t belong in Jordan’s happy family nucleus. Badgering Jordan to join him here was the wrong idea; he should’ve left things alone and let Jordan continue to avoid him. Luke needed to put some distance between them. This was what he got for letting himself get too close.

  “What are you so afraid of? Am I good enough to hang out with at the gym but nowhere else? I’m only asking for some company, goddamn it. Why do you have to make me beg?” To his utter shock, Jordan pushed him into the locker, his angry face only inches away. “Just fucking forget it. And forget this gym bullshit. I don’t need you for anything.” He stalked off into the bathroom.

  Luke raked his hand through his sweaty hair, guilt now coming into play. He hadn’t meant to come off as such a bastard. What would be the harm in spending a few hours with the guy? It was hard having your life ripped away in a moment while everyone else continued with their own as if nothing had happened.

  He knew what it was like. Shame coursed through Luke. Had he forgotten about his promise to pay it forward? This was no different. He might have been able to make it alone, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t help Jordan try and overcome his own demons. The man had a life to get back to, after all. He closed his locker and found Jordan in the bathroom. Luke saw him pop something in his mouth.

  “Headache,” Jordan mumbled under his breath.

  “Look, Prep School. You’re right. I was being a dick.” Noticing Jordan’s raised brow
s, he rushed to finish his train of thought before he changed his mind. “I’ll come with you. Keith always talked so much about you all, I feel as if I know everyone already.”

  Luke’s heart jolted at the faint smile and relief in Jordan’s eyes.

  After showering and deciding on a time for Jordan to pick him up in the morning, they parted ways at the front of the gym. Unable to keep his eyes off the lean form of the man walking away, Luke knew he was doing the right thing by going with Jordan, even if it would be a boring way to spend his afternoon.

  Chapter Eight

  At precisely noon the next day, Jordan pulled up in front of Lucas’s apartment building. All morning Jordan been expecting a text or call from Lucas with an excuse to cancel, but to his surprise, his phone remained silent. He hadn’t told his friends he was bringing Lucas. He didn’t want them to make the mistake of reading more into his invitation than having someone to walk in with and spend time with at Esther’s while everyone else was paired off. Additionally, they needed to get to know Lucas since the foundation was primed for opening, only a few weeks away, and he had ideas about integrating their work with Drew’s clinic.

  Nervous about the day to come, he popped open the pill container and swallowed three tablets. Lately they hadn’t been working as well, and he wondered if the kid selling them was giving him low-quality pills. He drank down half a bottle of water and willed away the slight shaking he’d begun to notice in his hands.

  A low whine from the back seat broke the silence inside the car. “Quiet, girl.” The dog was excited to go for a car ride, as she knew from previous times there were usually treats involved somewhere along the line. Jordan reached for his phone to send a text to Lucas that he’d arrived, when he saw him exit the building. Jordan’s heart rate increased.

  Lucas’s chestnut curls lay in their usual disarray over his brow, and his hazel eyes glinted with amusement. He wore a beautiful green cashmere sweater, with a black scarf tossed around his neck and tucked under a well-worn but soft-looking leather jacket. Dark jeans molded tight against his muscular legs. Irritated with himself for noticing, Jordan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then unlocked the car doors.