Better When He's Brave

by Jay Crownover

  “What’s so funny?”

  I pushed the plate in her direction and she reluctantly picked up half of the sandwich. “Booker was making fun of me for having a crush on Titus.”

  Karsen blinked in surprise and lifted her pale eyebrows at my confession. “Really. Aren’t you guys a thing? Why wouldn’t you have a crush on him?”

  I winced a little. I forgot that not everyone was privy to the real nature of my relationship with the complicated cop. “We’re a thing all right, but that thing is often a lot of work and not always fun, so it’s good to still have a crush on the person you care about.”

  I watched her eyes dart to the side and then back to me. “Oh. I see.”

  I bet she did. This girl was wise beyond her years and she was going to be a handful when she was legal. I had a feeling the wistful looks and covert watching was going to morph into something Booker was going to have a hell of a time keeping at bay once she was old enough to make her own choices.

  “Titus isn’t as nice as you would think he would be. I mean he’s a cop, one of the good guys and stuff, but he’s always so harsh and kind of mean. He scares me a little bit.”

  From the mouths of babes. I shared a look with Booker and had to bite back a grin. Here this little girl was infatuated with a man that had done hard time, that got paid to break necks and smash faces in for her sister’s boyfriend, and she thought Titus was mean and scary.

  “It’s challenging to be a good man in a bad place. He’s the odd man out and it makes him hard.”

  She grinned a little. “Plus having Bax for a brother would make anyone cranky.”

  It was a somber reminder why the rest of this little group wasn’t around on this Friday night. Booker pushed his plate away and leaned over to nudge Karsen with his shoulder. She immediately turned a neon pink, and it was so cute I just wanted to hug her. A pang hit me low in the gut when I thought about how innocent and sweet Rissa had been before the city had gotten to her. The unfairness of it scalded.

  “Bax is a fighter. He won’t leave Dovie on her own, no way in hell. He’ll pull through because there is no way he’s going to let a piece of crap trash truck be the reason he goes out. And when Bax wakes up, this Roark asshole is going to be in for a hurting. He just got the ’Cuda running the way he wanted. Now that he has to start all over he’s going to be furious.” Booker sounded certain and it was oddly comforting.

  The mood was somber among the three of us, so I set about cleaning up the kitchen and Booker told Karsen he would walk her back downstairs to her own place. While she was gathering up her stuff and over the noise of the dishwasher, those swirly blue-and-gray eyes of his settled on me and he told me under his breath, “I’ll find you a gun, but if the cop finds out about it you’re on your own.”

  He held up his hands and backed away toward the door, where the blond teenager was waiting. The way she was watching him . . . I wondered if he had ever been anyone’s hero before.

  I waited until they were out the front door before whispering into the empty apartment, “I’m always on my own.”

  Feeling melancholy and useless, I curled up on the massive sofa and flipped through channels. I wanted to be at the hospital. I wanted to be there for Titus and I wanted to be a good friend to Dovie. She deserved that. And now that I could so easily see what doing the right thing was, I felt like I deserved a shot to be that for her and to be whatever it was that Titus needed. The cop might only need me as bait, but the man . . . the man and the things he kept so tightly controlled inside of him needed so much more. I could take care of all of him if he would just let me.

  I feel asleep watching some movie about a bunch of kids thrown into a futuristic battle for survival. I enjoyed it and really loved the girl that was the main character, but something about doing anything to survive, being forced to eat or be eaten, hit too close to home and eventually my attention wandered and I crashed out before I saw how it all ended.

  I woke up to the sound of the door clicking closed and the thumping of boots against the wooden floors. At first I was a little bit disoriented because the early-dawn rays of sunlight were drifting though the untinted windows I hadn’t powered down when I fell asleep last night. I had no clue what time it was or how long I had slept. There was an aura of unrest circling Titus that had me snapping wide-awake. Everything inside of me went on high alert as he tossed his keys on the counter and then more carefully unclipped his gun and his shield.

  He looked jagged and mean. He had passed scruffy and was well on his way to having a full beard covering the lower part of his face. His eyes were too bright and so blistering hot that they gleamed like blue lasers. His mouth was twisted in a harsh frown and the furrow between his eyebrows was so deep it looked like it was going to be a permanent part of his face from here on out. His hair was standing up straight and that white spot that decorated his temple looked like it had doubled in size. He had an Ace bandage wrapped around one hand and some white gauze taped on the other. He looked like a heavyweight fighter that had just gone nine rounds and no winner had been declared.

  “Is Shane awake? I wasn’t expecting you back anytime soon.”

  Fury flavored the air as he moved toward where I was still curled up with my legs underneath me.

  “He woke up yesterday afternoon. He can’t talk since his jaw is wired shut and it’s still touch and go because he lost so much blood and hit his head so hard during the impact. But he’s awake and he recognized me and Dovie, so the doctors kicked me out and told us that he needed time.”

  “Oh.” My heart squeezed painfully. It would have been nice of him to let me know Bax had opened his eyes. “I tried to text you a couple of times to see if you needed anything or if I could do anything.”

  He prowled closer, his eyes roving over me like a physical touch. This was not the calm and collected cop that kept the streets safe. This was the wild man that made a deal with a woman he didn’t trust and then let her put her hands and mouth all over him because he couldn’t resist the pull. This was the beast that wanted, needed, and craved being fed. He was practically vibrating with the emotions that were at war in his blazing gaze. Anger, lust, fear, sorrow, regret, guilt, remorse . . . all of them jockeying for top position as he watched me and prowled closer and closer.

  “I chucked my phone at the accident scene. Roark has to be watching. I can’t figure out how he knew where Bax was going to be at that exact moment. He’s everywhere. I’ve been at the hospital nonstop since then, so I didn’t have a chance to get a new one yet. I only left to run to the garage to grab a shower or to go to the station to see if anyone had anything new on where Roark might be. I figured Race or Brysen would’ve told Karsen or Booker what was going on.”

  “No. No one mentioned that he was awake. It would’ve been nice to know.” I couldn’t keep the sharpness out of my tone. Bax wasn’t my favorite, but he mattered to Titus, so that meant he mattered to me.

  He got to the back of the couch and rested his hands on the cushions. He was towering over me and I knew it should make me nervous with the mood he was in, but this was Titus. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t hurt anyone, no matter how mad or frustrated he might be. He was too good for that.

  “I think everyone was so relieved that he finally opened his eyes that was all they could think about. Brysen was worried about Dovie and Race was a nervous wreck. He and Bax are like brothers, so it was hard on everyone to see him like that. So broken and so still. That’s not Bax.”

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to touch him. I had to try and smooth some of that roughness out of his practically vibrating body. Never had any man needed to come home to a gentle touch like this one did. I lifted up onto my knees and reached both hands up so that they were lying near the center of his chest right over his heart. It thudded heavy and slow under my fingertips, like beating was just too much effort.

  “Shane won’t stay down for long, and while he and Race might be like brothers, you are his brother, Titus.
So you’re allowed to be just as worried and just as freaked out as the rest of them are. You don’t have to hold it together all the time. You’re a man, not a machine. Someone needs to be there to tell you that everything is okay every once in a while.”

  Suddenly it was like his heart woke up and the rhythm under my fingers started to surge and dance. His bandaged hands came up and wrapped around each of my wrists. I looked down at his grip as it slowly started to tighten.

  “What happened to your hands?”

  His chest rose and fell with a deep breath and his eyes drifted shut. When the long, black lashes fluttered back open, the color of his remarkable eyes had switched from blue to that luminous silver. My skin tingled instinctively.

  “I tried to pull Bax out of the wreck and I cut them on the frame of the car and on the broken glass.”

  Oh my God, he was amazing and fearless. How could one man care so much about everyone else and not see the damage that it was doing to him? He couldn’t be responsible for the entire world. It would kill him.

  “Titus . . .” My voice got caught on the emotion that welled up.

  I didn’t have to add to it because he simply shook his head and told me quietly, “Tell me everything is going to be okay, Reeve.”

  There was no hesitation as the words fell fast and furiously from my lips. “Everything will be okay.”

  I met him halfway as he lowered his head toward me. The setting was different and far more appropriate, but the way he put his mouth on mine wasn’t. There was still the raw and brutal edge to it. Still the harsh scrape of teeth and the urgent twist of his tongue as it twirled all around mine. His lips were hard and eager. His breathing got jagged and uneven as he let go of my wrists and put his hands around my waist.

  In a show of pure strength he lifted me up from my kneeling position and lifted me onto the edge of the couch. I thought he was going to settle me into that position once my legs were coiled around his waist but he didn’t. He put a hand under my ass and held me up, walking toward the wall of windows until my back hit the glass, his mouth moving over mine, devouring me the entire trip.

  Once he had me secure between his big body and the glass behind me, he started pulling at my clothes. The soft cotton of my T-shirt and the delicate satin of my bra were no match for his questing and impatient hands. Between one gasp as my aroused nipples hit his chest and another as his heavy thigh forced its way between that notch in my legs that was getting damp and heated under his attentions, he had me mostly naked and was steadily working on getting my pants open. Things were moving fast, too fast. He was in some kind of frenzy and I could feel it as his lips and hands raced haphazardly across my skin. This was all about want and had very little to do with need, at least on his part, but I was greedy enough, gone enough over this man to let him take . . . for right now.

  The button on my jeans proved to be very little deterrent as without warning, his hand and his very nimble fingers were all over me and unerringly finding all the places that would welcome him even if my common sense was screaming at me that I should put a stop to this right now. The bandage across his palm was rough on delicate skin and the brush of his fingertips even more so as they dipped inside of me. I moaned in response and my entire body jerked against his where he had me pinned. He pulled his mouth off of mine and we both sucked in a much-needed breath. His eyes burned and all I could do was smolder and move with him as he started to stroke me with firm, steady motions. Nothing about the way he touched me felt reverent. It was frantic and wild. The urgency made it all the more exciting and hot.

  “You’re so gorgeous. You feel even better than you look. Do you know that?” There wasn’t a lot of room down there since I still had my jeans on and his hands were big, but his words made me clench around him and move even harder on his swirling fingers. The pleasure was tight, so tight and so full it felt like it didn’t fit inside of my body. It needed to get out.

  I curled the fingers of one hand into the corded muscles at the base of his neck and locked the other in the hair at back of his head. It was surprisingly soft. Probably the only thing on him that was. I threw my head back so that it thumped against the window when his thumb suddenly landed with precision on my clit. Every nerve in my body went tight and I felt my blood start to rush around between my ears as desire started to bleed from every pore.

  “Titus.” His name was a plea to give me more or give me less. I needed one or the other if I was going to make it out of this alive.

  He moved his leg higher into the apex of my legs and the motion shoved my breasts even tighter against his chest. He still had his T-shirt on but the friction of the cotton against the aching peaks was enough to make me gasp his name again. He grinned at me and it wasn’t very nice. His eyes were hot enough to brand scars where they raked over me, and I thought I was going to pass out when he added another finger to the sexual games he was playing with my body. The walls of my sex clenched in automatic response against the fullness and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer under the sensual assault.

  “Are you done, Reeve? Is this as much as you can take? I always want more, there is always so much more.”

  His voice sounded like sandpaper as he lowered his face and sank his teeth into the skin at the side of my neck. It felt amazing and the scrape of his beard across my tender skin made it even better. I wanted to know what it would feel like lower. I lowered my hand from his hair and put it on his cheek. I waited until he lifted his head up and met my gaze. He turned his wrist at the same time and I almost shattered under the sensation. I wasn’t sure what kind of battle of wills we were engaged in, but I knew if I didn’t hold out for the rest of what he had, I was never going to get all that was Titus King.

  So I simply told him what he needed to hear. “It’s okay, Titus. Give me all you got. I want more.”

  It was the green light he needed. Suddenly he was everywhere. His mouth biting, sucking each aching nipple into his mouth. His hands working feverishly to get the rest of my clothes out of his way without separating us. I had to admire the sheer strength it took to hold me up and pull my clothes off at the same time. I heard the leather of his belt slip free and suddenly a heavy wallet was in my hand. I looked at it in confusion while he wrestled his shirt off over his head with one hand. I couldn’t make words work anymore.

  “Condom. Find it.”

  “What?” Seriously I was struck dumb by the sight of him. He was beautiful. He was a warrior. He was a man made to fight, to win. He was big and hard. He was cut and defined. He was powerful and massive in a way that made me feel unbelievably delicate and feminine. He was all that a man should be and then some and there was never going to be anyone that would ever compare. He was going to ruin me in both the good and the bad ways.

  “I bought a couple of rubbers last time I was at the gas station because I can’t get you off my fucking mind, and I like to be prepared. Find one.”

  He sounded like a caveman and I kind of liked it. I also liked the light brush of his happy trail as he pressed his pelvis into mine. The long length of his cock rubbed against me as he pulled his zipper down and leaned farther into me. I found the foil packet and tore it open with my teeth after tossing the wallet to the floor.

  “Hurry.” He sounded like he was on the brink, so I grasped the heavy shaft and rolled the latex down. He jerked at my touch and the power of that was so intoxicating I leaned forward and sealed my mouth back over his. He responded by wrapping one of his bandaged hands around my breast and squeezing it tight.

  It wasn’t until the tip of him slid in, stretched me, burned a trail that felt like heaven and hell combined that I realized I was bare-assed and the tint on the windows was still turned off. Anyone looking close enough up at the complex would get a clear view of the debauchery currently happening between me and the hot cop.

  “Titus . . .” I wanted to tell him we had to move. That we needed to stop for just a second, but he just grunted and thrust his hips hard so that we were
joined all the way together, our pelvises aligned so there was no him and there was no me, there was just us. And we were so in tune with each other, so hungry for one another, I forgot what I was going to say.

  He put a hand under my backside and tilted my hips more toward him. He nuzzled his face in the curve of my neck so every grunt, every pant, every whispered curse drifted through my ear like a promise. He put his other arm on the glass over my head for leverage and then proceeded to fuck me into oblivion.

  Our chests rubbed together. Our bodies writhed and grinded against each other. I felt him tense and flex inside of my own and I felt the way my body responded to him. I was flushed and sweaty. I was wet and burning. Everywhere we touched felt fused together and I never wanted it to end. Suddenly the hand he had been using to hold me up vanished from my ass and showed back up between my legs. How he knew just where to touch, how he knew just how much pressure to add, I would never know. But he worked me over like a pro and it felt so good it hurt too much to hold back anymore.

  I broke apart. Shattered like glass and he watched me the entire time. When I was stuck, captured and panting, he ran his fingers, wet from my own desire, up the center of my chest and used them to wrap lightly around my throat. It made me open my eyes wider and he just grinned at me. I had told him I wanted it all, but he didn’t squeeze, didn’t tighten his grip. He just left his fingers there as he pounded into me, rutting and thrusting like the beast he had released.

  It only took a few more minutes for him to reach his own completion, and when he did, it again made me dumb. His muscles all locked, his eyes scorched everything they touched, and the look of relaxation that finally dotted his hard features was like a miracle. I wanted him to look like that for me all the time.

  He bent his head so that he could put little butterfly kisses all along my collarbone as he pulled out and let my legs fall to either side of him. Our clothes were a mess and we both definitely looked like we had been frantically screwing each other’s brains out.