by Dawn Brazil
The ground shakes and bricks rattle loose from the building we squat beside.
Ferris stands motionless, gawking at me. His mouth twists into a frown. His eyes are wide with worry.
He nods. “Okay. Maybe. I’d like to do something before I die that makes me feel proud. Meeting you two has been the best experience. I’m excited about something for the first time in my life.” He’s looking from me to Joe. “If I die doing this, it’s okay because sometimes friends become family and family is worth fighting or dying for. I know that’s crazy, but I’d die for either of you.”
“I couldn’t have said that any better, little brother. I’m happy to do this beside you.” Joe’s smile is genuine and kind and full of so many other things I think he wants to say, but he doesn’t because we have no time.
My heart bursts with some obscure emotion I haven’t felt in a long time. I shove it away, but it finds its way back and consumes me. I think I love them. But I don’t tell them this.
“I think because we’re going to do this, I should make a confession. You know… if this could be the end. I don’t want something coming up after I’m gone,” Ferris says. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I found my mother.”
“What?” both Joe and I say.
“I found her a long time ago. Then one day, I just showed back up in VOLT. When I was asked about my lost thing, I said my mom. I knew she wasn’t here anymore, though, because I saw when she left VOLT the first time.”
“Then why would you stay?” Joe asks.
“Because it’s better than where I was.”
“But you haven’t been curious about why you’re here?” I ask.
“I don’t care. I’m just happy to not be there.”
We’re quiet for a while, then Joe clears his throat.
“While we’re confessing… I have secrets, too.” He pauses and glances at the ground like it will assist him with getting the words out. “My mother wasn’t the only person I killed.” He stops talking for a second and picks at invisible lint on his bottoms. Ferris and I glance at each other, but don’t say anything as we give Joe time to explain.
“I killed my stepdad. I shot him right before I left the house to take my mom to work the day we had the accident that ultimately killed her.”
Chapter 44
My breath catches in my throat and I’m certain my face is a mass of confusion. I don’t want to draw my own conclusions so I try to wait for him to explain. He doesn’t. He starts picking invisible lint from his pants again.
“How about a little clarification?” Ferris says.
When he looks up, tears fill his massive brown eyes. I want to wrap him in my arms and comfort him, but I’m frozen where I stand.
“He wasn’t a good person. He—he did something awful to my little sister. Something I… I can’t even…” he trails off and takes a deep breath. His tears fall freely. “He—he…”
“That’s okay,” I say. I rush to his side and wrap him in my arms. “We understand. You don’t have to explain.”
He pushes back and his eyes are large and luminous, and haunted. “I thought she knew. My mom, I mean. I was so mad at her. She had no idea I killed him moments before she rushed in the house and asked me to drop her off. We were halfway to her job before I told her what I caught him doing to Mia. She snapped. Demanded I turn the car around so she could confront him and call the police.” As his words spill from him, he barely takes a breath between them, like he’s been ready to release this for a while. “But I was out of control by that point. I told her how I’d handled it. She was furious and scared. I’ve never seen her that upset. Then the car came from the opposite direction and slammed into us. She lived long enough to help the police piece together what happened and make sure I didn’t suffer forever for what I did.”
“Shit,” Ferris says.
“San Diego.”
“Sometimes I regret it. Killing him, I mean. It wasn’t what I was trying to do. Then I look at my sister and I don’t regret it as much. She’s my only sister. I should’ve protected her. It’s my job to protect them. I let both of the most important women in my life down. I can’t ever make up for that.”
The ground shakes violently beneath us. I squat beside Joe to gain some balance.
My head and heart are pounding the same shattered melody through me. It’s an achingly sorrowful mix that leaves me winded and spent. My treacherous heart yearns to hold Joe and soothe the agony he feels. Except, that’s not my place. My own pain suffocates me enough.
This is why it’s not right to share your pain. I’m disgusted about every bad thought I’ve had about Joe. Every word I’ve spoken out of meanness.
“Joe, while I can’t ever see myself killing anyone, I can’t say what you did was wrong. Your mother has obviously forgiven you if you’re here with her. You have to let it go; this burden isn’t yours anymore. Release it so you can live,” Ferris says.
“Where is she?” The MegaHex roars somewhere in the distance. For a second, we all acknowledge the shriek from the metal monster with a glance in the distance, but mostly we ignore it.
“I’m trying. It’s not easy, though,” Joe says. “I was angry for a long time after. I’m not angry anymore—I’m scared now, scared to let my siblings down again. Scared to disappoint them when they need me the most. That’s why I keep coming here, so I can hide from them.”
“I’m sure your brothers and Mia understand. If you talk with them about it, your perception on this is probably much different from theirs,” I say. “If something like that had happened to me and someone stopped me from being hurt, I’d be appreciative. Because it was her father, I’m sure she was hurt, too, but if you stay here, she’s not only lost a mother and father, but also her big brother. Don’t do that to her. She still needs your protection and love. Don’t deprive them of your awesomeness.”
Joe’s expression is thoughtful. He doesn’t say anything; he nods. And that’s enough. He understands, and it’s up to him to take the action to correct his behavior.
The stop sign at the intersection of the street falls over. More bricks tumble from above, barely missing our heads. We’re up in a matter of seconds before we’re clobbered.
“Okay, guys, you have to go. Move fast. Stay in front of it. I’ll be behind you. I’m going to crawl into that cavity at the base of its feet. I saw it when he fell over the other day. I know he can be switched to nice, or off.”
“Sam,” Joe says, turning slightly to peer down at me. “I’m gonna need you to not get yourself killed.”
I smile. The earth vibrates beneath my feet. Dust and gravel kick up fiercely around us. “That’s the plan. But if I do die, you do what we talked about. And take care of Ferris, please.” I wink over at Ferris. “Now go. This isn’t goodbye,” I declare.
Ferris and Joe hobble to the center of the street so the MegaHex won’t miss them, cutting a squiggly line down the middle of the deserted road. No shops offer refuge in this area, and there are no vehicles to duck behind. No more buildings in sight. We’re in a battle with the MegaHex on his playground—a large expanse of nothing but dessert.
Once Ferris and Joe are in the open area, I race behind the last building before desert sand covers everything.
A large red brick tumbles from the building to the ground beside me. The pieces don’t shatter on impact. I squat and push my hand into the earth, curious why the bricks aren’t breaking to pieces. When I pull my hand back, my print is left in the earth. It’s malleable. VOLT is the weirdest place I’ve ever been. And I’m sure I can use this new revelation to my advantage.
I shake my head and stand to my feet. As I scrape my hand over my arm, something small and bumpy shoots across my skin. A line of pebble-looking blood-suckers creep across my arms and slither up my exposed legs.
Abocos. San Diego. Just what I need right now.
I blow hot breath over my skin to vaporize them. My frantic blowing produces more saliva than air. Blood trickles from my
arms. Sweat licks at the side of my face and I feel like Ferris—ready to hit the pavement.
I crash into the wall and collapse to my bottom.
My breath rushes from me. If I don’t calm myself, the blood-suckers will have a feast on me. If I don’t move faster, the MegaHex will crush Joe and Ferris. San Diego!
First I need to unclench my jaw, and take a steadying breath through my nose. Repeat. I do this twice more.
My eyes open and my heart only slightly rattles in my ears now. Waiting for calmness is a waste of time. I need to act before the little blood suckers render me immobile.
I inhale a lung full of air and emit a clean, saliva-free amount over my skin. The creepy crawlers vaporize as my warm breath hits them. Tears fill my eyes at my small victory.
I repeat the process several times until I’m free of the tiny creatures. The armpits of my housecoat are wet with perspiration and blood. Something sour overwhelms my abdomen and I grab my stomach to still it. I press a hand to my chest to calm my quickening heart, too. It’s not working.
I plunge my right index finger into my mouth to bite the nail. Dust and dirt collect on my tongue. I draw my hand back in disgust.
“Where are you?” the MegaHex roars.
I peer around the side of the storefront to ascertain his location. He passes right by me as I look on. He’s not the smartest robot. His eyes never drift to the left or to the right. He keeps them straight ahead, as if what he wants will spontaneously appear in front of him at any time.
I scan the area past him to determine how far Joe and Ferris have gotten. The MegaHex kicks up so much dust I can’t make them out initially. Finally, their profiles come into view. Ferris drags an extremely sluggish Joe by the arm, not more than a quarter mile up the sandy road.
The MegaHex wails again, “Give her to me. I’ll go away if you give her to me.” He wants me. He’s consumed with my destruction.
I have no idea why. Except in the back of my mind, small hands grip a miniature wrench. Larger hands connect it to a tiny bolt and fasten it in place.
I smile at my hero as he creates this magical metal box for us.
I slam my hands to my head to quiet the barrage of unwanted memories from slipping into the known.
Scraping myself across the ground, my emotions spill out around me. Why is my universe a regurgitation of past sorrows? Why do my nightmares follow me when I’m awake? Every memory I have is riddled with grief because the universe so callously stole away my future. Somehow, Joe and Ferris have helped me to see that maybe a future might be a reality with them. Maybe we don’t ever leave VOLT once we get here. Maybe we outsmart the reapers and turn the MegaHex to nice, and then we three live a peaceful, yet wildly amusing life in VOLT.
That wouldn’t be so terrible at all. Except if there is any hope of that, I’ve got to get moving. It’s time to conquer the beast.
Chapter 45
Running from behind the building in a crouch, I fall behind the metal box's left foot. The scent of lavender permeates the air more the closer I get to it. I’m not impervious to its effect, but I am focused on keeping my friends alive.
I have to time my entry into the base of its boot perfectly.
I race closer. His gigantic steps send a tremor through my body, like a bolt of electricity shooting through me. I wobble to the left and right, trying to balance and catch hold of its left leg. What I’m attempting is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done, but I have no choice. Either this or we die. I can’t let them die, too. I won’t let them.
The metal bot lifts its left leg again to take a step. I thrust my body at it as it lowers it back to the ground and raises its right foot. Like I used to do when I jumped in to play double-dutch.
My skin sizzles as it makes contact with the metal boot and I bite my lip to stop the quiver, but it doesn’t stifle the tears. I hold tight to its foot as it continues the cycle of up and down. I slip a hand into the fastener of a large red buckle on its boot. I press my body into the crevices of the boot despite the heat searing my skin. Pain and fear propel me forward.
I must get inside and shut the bot off before it catches Joe and Ferris. I place my hands on either side of the buckle and push with all my might. It doesn’t budge. I release my arm from the hold I have on the buckle. Dropping to my back, I lace my hands through a button on the boot.
I kick the other button repeatedly while on my back. It starts to move. Sweat covers my face, arms, and legs. I continue kicking. The opening gets wider. I scramble into the small opening, but get stuck trying to bring my hips through. I bend, with my bottom touching the heated metal, and draw my legs up. I shove hard again, my legs supplying the power, to loosen the remaining metal flap.
Without warning, the flap opens and I plummet down a vertical declivity into total darkness. My arms and legs flail uncontrollably. The darkness envelopes me. With a heavy thump, I meet the inside of the bottom of the robot's foot with my posterior. “Owww!” I howl in pain, rubbing my bottom.
I stumble to my feet and stretch my arms in front of me. Nothing. I can’t even see them. I inch further with my extended arm. My hand smacks something cool and metal. I trace my hand over the area. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but it will need to lead me up and out of this thing.
I turn back along the wall, in the other direction. My foot hits something solid. With my left hand stretched, I feel a smooth metal bar. I trace my fingers along the bar, trying to determine what it is. My hand hits another bar but it’s not vertical; it stretches horizontally. I search the darkness with blind hands until I grasp another bar.
Springing out of the darkness, clarity smacks me in the head.
It’s a ladder. “Yes.”
I make my ascent up the ladder to an unknown destination. My eyes start to adjust to the dark. Soon shadows spring up around me.
I preferred the darkness. Still, I continue up the ladder.
Something illuminated above my head moves closer to me. It shines brightly, like a headlight to a car as it cascades in my direction. I squint into the nothing to determine what it is. It travels fast. Before I can move, the object crashes into my forehead. I’m thrown backwards from the ladder, into obscurity again. All the way back down.
A trickle of warm liquid cascades from my head to my brow. Even in the dark, I know it’s blood. An assortment of stars shimmer across my vision and collect behind my closed eyes. I’m going to pass out.
Just as I always suspected—I’m good for nothing. Except maybe chaos, destruction, and death.
Ferris and Joe don’t deserve this. They don’t deserve to die. They don’t deserve to be squashed into the earth in the craziest city I’ve ever been in. They don’t deserve a friend like me.
But that’s it, I am their friend. And they are worth me making it up this ladder to turn this beast off. They are worth every ounce of blood I lose right now. They are worth every tear. They are worth so much. I never told them but wish I had. They’re worth it. And more.
I push my hand up and reach for a rung of the ladder. I don’t stop, even when the blood trickles into my eyes. I keep going because they are worth it. I don’t stop when the shadows come and try to steal me away. I keep going because they’re worth so much more than I’ve given them.
I started on this journey not caring if I lived or died because I thought I had nothing to live for. Ferris and Joe showed me friends can come in the most unlikely packages.
I move quickly up the ladder. Never mind the throbbing and the aches.
My friends need me.
I push myself as fast as I can, gripping the rungs of the ladder tightly. As I slip my hand around the next bar, thick gelatinous goop coats it. I pry my hand from the gooey mess and reach for the next bar.
My foot catches hold of the next bar but it slips in the syrupy mess below. I scream out to an audience of none. I dangle by one tenuous grip mid-air. I strain to hold my weight with my arms wrapped tightly around the top of the ladder. With a jerk, I pu
ll myself up and place my foot back in position.
San Diego.
My hand stretches for the next rung, but it meets a solid surface instead. Surprises have a way of finding me. I need to take every precaution. I explore the area with my hand as much as possible before pulling myself up.
My investigation complete, I lunge myself over the last rung. I stand on a flat metal surface. The darkness is consuming. Still, in the near-nothingness, I can make out a bulge protruding from the wall. With my arms stretched out like a sailor walking the plank, I make my way to it. My hip hits the solid bulge and I realize it’s a table brimming with trinkets. My hand wraps around a metal object. I turn it over repeatedly. It’s a flat disk, but I have no clue what it is. I place it back on the table and continue my examination, with the hope of finding something I can use to get this thing to play nice.
Joe and Ferris are probably running for their lives still. I hope. San Diego. I can’t think of what they’re doing. I have to concentrate on turning this thing off. My hand closes around a hard, cylindrical object. On the surface of the object is an area with a raised button. I push the button and light floods the space.
I squint away from the glare of the flashlight. The light offers me a grim perspective on where I am—a tool shed. I turn to the ladder and peer down to determine how far up I've traveled. It’s a considerable distance.
I shine the light around the space. Junk. It’s heaps and mounds of metal junk. But there’s more to explore overhead. Confidence built by the flashlight propels me faster up this new ladder.
I reach another landing, almost identical to the one I had been on before. Stepping off, a wall with colorfully lit buttons greets me. My heart thuds and skips with excitement. All I need is an off button. I shine the light on the wall of buttons. My eyes quickly scan each button. There’s no on or off button. Words are etched into the metal above the buttons, nearly hidden by a thick layer of dust. I rub the dust with the back of my hand and read the encryption. “Battle Bot.” What the heck is that? I shine the light on the other words: Transformation cog, Neural cluster, Robot mode, Radio Transmitter… With no other options, I do what anyone with a limited amount of time and patience would do.
