Risk it All

by Fiona Price

  "Good to know, I would have made that mistake more than once."

  "I'm sure you would have." Alissa answered, and Dieter moved on to give Matt some well-deserved love.

  Later in the week after they had dinner, the three of them were laying on the couch listening to the nightly news and Dieter was comfortably curled up with Alissa, and it looked like he was giving her a hug. Alissa had her arms wrapped around the dog, whose head was on her shoulder.

  "Gourmet dog bakery..." Matt muttered, shaking his head.

  "What was that?" Alissa laughed.

  "Well, if he likes you this much, maybe you should just stick around."

  "Are you jealous that your dog is replacing you?" Alissa answered with a laugh not really getting the direction of Matt's statement.

  "No, I mean, you should stay. Like, if you want to, you can move in."

  "What, are you serious?"

  "Yes, I'm totally serious. I was kind of hoping you'd stay."

  There was a pause before Alissa responded. She was rubbing Dieter's ears and his head, and his tongue was ever so slightly hanging out of his mouth.

  "Dieter, what do you think?"

  "Don't ask him anything, my man is vulnerable right now! You've found his favorite spot, he'll agree to anything and everything." He laughed.

  "I think that's a good idea, Matt." Alissa smiled as they made eye contact. Alissa kissed the side of Dieter's face before looking back at Matt. "Though, I may have to spend a weekend airing out the place and burning some sage to get rid of Vanessa."

  Matt sighed, knowing that would always come back to him. She could forgive him, but there was no forgetting what had happened. Alissa picked up on Matt's nonverbal cues, and answered the question he was going to ask.

  "Yes, Matt, I'm going to air out the damn place. That was a big thing that was really hurtful to me. Plus, I don't think I'd be able to really sleep in the same bed she did. She tried to kill you, Matt."

  "You know, Alissa," Matt began, sitting up and leaning towards her, not breaking eye contact. "If you're worried about sleeping in the same bed as Vanessa did, we can fuck wherever you want in this whole damn house to get rid of that." Matt seduced. There was a pause before Alissa responded.

  "That would have been sexy if you didn't look like an old man while you were trying to sit up from laying down." Alissa said, trying to hold back a laugh by biting her lip. Matt rolled his eyes.

  "Listen, trying to be sexy at the same time you're worried about popping stitches is really hard!" Matt defended, and they got a laugh in before Alissa's phone began vibrating in her back pocket. She looked at her watch to see who was calling her before she maneuvered around the dog to answer it, since it was a call she felt like she should take privately.

  "Dieter, buddy, I gotta get up, go cuddle Matt." Alissa said, transferring the dog, who was getting heavier, over to Matt.

  "Is everything alright?"

  "I think so. Shane's calling, so I can't be sure." Alissa responded before picking up the phone and walking out onto Matt's patio.

  "Hey, Shane, what's going on?" Alissa answered.

  "Can you come down to the office?" He asked, his voice just a little bit unsteady. Shane was never unsteady.

  "Yeah, I can slip out. Is something happening? Is it the case with the mafia?"

  "It sure is. I can't even process what we're dealing with here, Alissa. It's all-hands-on-deck, but we're trying to subdue the urgency for now. I don't want to worry Matt. I don't know what's really happening, but it's bad. It's huge. It may be the break we needed for that triple homicide." Shane explained.

  "I'll be there in 20, Shane." Alissa confirmed before slipping back into the house and pulling the sliding door closed behind her. She regained her composure and pulled on her shoes that were sitting by the door. She had Matt's attention, his eyes following her across the room.

  "Is everything okay?"

  "I think so. Shane wanted me to come take a look at a piece of evidence. I'll be back soon." Alissa answered, grabbing her keys and heading out the door. She didn't lie to Matt, but she sure as hell didn't give him the full story. If it was relevant to the case with Vanessa, it needed to be kept calm until they knew exactly what they were dealing with. The case was the highest profile thing any one of them had ever worked. If they were going to take Andrei Petrovitch down, they were going to do it right. Nobody would get hurt again. Not on Shane's watch.

  XIV

  Alissa ran into the office to meet the eyes of the team filled with ever-growing panic. She met them in the middle of the room, preparing herself for the information she was going to get. She knew that Shane had kept it low-key over the phone, but she knew that whatever was happening was connected right to Andrei and Brianna Petrovitch.

  "Okay, what's going on? How bad is it, what are we looking at?"

  "We each got these unmarked envelopes. Yours is on your desk, I got mine on my car windshield. Vicki got hers in her locker at her training gym. Scarlet found hers on her doorstep."

  "What's in them? Who did they come from? Why didn't Matt get one?"

  "It's all different. We have no idea, there's no handwriting or anything. Matt didn't get one, presumably because they think he's dead. They've all been x-rayed and there isn't anything dangerous in them, so they're safe to open."

  Alissa pushed her office door open to reveal a large ran envelope sitting on her desk. She picked it up and brought it out to the center and carefully opened it in front of the team, not sure if she could bear to open it up alone. She reached in and pulled out a few documents, crime scene photos and the portrait of her CI that was killed by the Irish mafia. Alissa's hands shook as she brought them to her mouth to stifle a gasp.

  "Alissa, what is it?" Shane asked.

  "It's Carly Davis. She was my CI when I was on the Boston force. The mafia found out that she was my informant and killed her." Alissa answered. "What does this all mean?"

  "I don't know. I got a bloody knife in my envelope. It's the knife Vanessa used to stab Matt. We confirmed it."

  "Why would they do that? That's incriminating evidence."

  "They're taking responsibility for the hit. They also think he's dead, so it was probably a taunt to me, laughing at our loss."

  "I got a flash drive in mine. We ran it through our secure system, and it's a code I had to break first. Then, it was a bunch of pictures of me, ranging from my wedding day to my most recent fights."

  "Scarlet got poker chips in hers. We're still trying to figure that one out. She's in her office on the phone, not telling us anything for now."

  "Wait, look, there's more in mine." Alissa spoke, finding pictures in between the pages of the case file as she spread them out on the table next to the contents of everyone else's envelope. One was old, on a Polaroid, one was new.

  "What are those?" Shane asked, leaning in and trying to look at the photos at the same time as Alissa.

  "Well, one is Vanessa and Matt in his bed, the other is of Matt and someone I don't recognize." Alissa answered, confused, her hands shaking still.

  "I do. That's Kelly, his partner back in Brooklyn. I think the Mafia is trying to tell us they know about us, our weakest moments, and they can get to us." Shane answered.

  "Did Matt ever say how Kelly died?" Alissa asked.

  "No, I just knew that she had passed. Matt never talked about it. He would seize up every time he heard her name or something."

  "Okay. Matt said she died unexpectedly. I'll be back." Alissa said, putting the picture in her pocket and driving back home. Alissa gripped the steering wheel out of nervousness the whole ride home.

  The streets were quiet, and she was able to get home to Matt quickly, and the one time she wished for traffic, to be slowed down, she didn't get it. Matt heard her car pull up in the driveway and he greeted her on the doorstep in the dim cast of the porch light.

  "Alissa, I've been worried. Is everything okay?" Matt asked, holding Dieter back from running outside to greet Alissa.


  Alissa breathed in before closing her eyes and pulling out the Polaroid from her pocket. She looked down at it first before she turned it around to face Matt and held it out for him.

  "How did Kelly die?" Alissa burst. Matt was taken aback.

  "Kelly? Why are you asking? What's that picture?"

  "Just tell me about Kelly. I need more information than just that she died unexpectedly. We all got pictures or items from Andrei that hit our most vulnerable spots, and this picture was in mine. I just need to figure out the game Andrei is trying to play, and Kelly is a piece of that."

  Matt held the photo, rubbing the edges. His breath was hitched in his throat. He remembered exactly when and where the photo was taken. They were at their captain's birthday party at their favorite bar in Brooklyn. She was wearing a blue velvet top, jeans and suede boots, her dark curly hair falling down her back. Matt was wearing his favorite blue and white striped dress shirt, the first few buttons undone, and a pair of jeans rolled up at the cuff with a pair of tan boat shoes. They were each holding a beer and gazing into each other's eyes, Matt's arm wrapped around Kelly's shoulders, holding her against his chest. It was his favorite picture of them together.

  "Matt, you have to tell me what you're thinking." Alissa whispered. Matt brushed a tear away from his eye to meet Alissa's gaze. He sat down on the doorstep, closing the screen door behind him. his arms rested on top of his thighs as he continued to look at the photo before turning it over and his head sank down. Alissa sat on the step-in front of Matt, putting her hands over his. She just wanted to listen so they could figure out what the picture meant to the mafia and why it was in her folder.

  "It was around five years ago in Brooklyn. Kelly and I were just about to close a narcotics case and we were busting the condo of the gang that was pushing oxy out on the streets."

  "Alright, Kelly, on your call. SWAT's right behind us, let's close this bitch up.' Matt spoke, standing on the opposite side of the door, facing Kelly. They were both armed and protected, ready for the raid that would mark the close of the biggest narcotics case Brooklyn had seen in years.

  "You got it, Matty. Drinks are on me tonight, we've got plenty to celebrate." Kelly answered before they battered down the door to the condo in the most expensive building in Brooklyn. They were expecting a full house, but the place looked empty and as if it hadn't been lived in.

  "Kelly, wait. Something's not right. Where are our guys? Did we get bad intel or something?"

  "No, we've been staking these guys out for months."

  "Maybe they knew we were onto them and closed up shop before we came."

  "Then, we'd have a mole on our hands. Let's clear this place, room by room. Stay sharp, babe." Matt spoke, trying to find an answer as to why they were all alone in the condo.

  "Clear." Matt spoke, and he soon heard one back from his partner. Matt went through another room and cleared it, but he got radio silence from Kelly.

  "Kelly, how's it going?" Matt asked, backtracking to try and find Kelly. He walked into the room that she was in and she held out her open hand when she saw Matt. She guided her finger up to her lips, signaling for him to be quiet. She gestured towards a coffee table that left a track in the carpet in an arch, indicating the piece of furniture was moved. Matt saw it too.

  Kelly lifted up the rug from underneath the table against the wall, and she tapped the toe of her boot against the hardwood floor, listening for a hollow spot or something other of the sort. What she saw instead was a seam where the floor met the wall. They both knew there was a panic room hidden behind the wall décor. Matt lifted the painting off the wall to reveal the hidden door, but the next step was opening the room.

  Kelly pulled the cord to the table lamp, trying to see if it was the secret release to open the door, but it just turned on the lamp. Matt gave her a look and she shrugged, just having to try everything out. Matt happened to stand right in front of the door, and he figured out that it was a weight sensor that opened and closed the door. The door swung open and they quickly had to raise their guns to face the gang members in their hideout. The fight they were looking for when the broke into the apartment was happening then, right in front of them.

  SWAT then followed. They were in a hand-to-hand battle and Matt was quickly disarmed. He didn't have time to think before he turned around and saw that Kelly had been grabbed and she was out on the balcony with the leader of the gang in a battle. In the matter of a split second, he wrapped his arm around her neck from behind and was holding her with a gun to her head. SWAT saw it happen and shot him before he could kill Kelly with his gun, but when he fell backwards due to the force of the blow, Kelly fell over the side of the balcony. The last thing Matt heard was Kelly's shriek before a heavy thud, the sound of glass shattering and a car alarm.

  Matt ran to the balcony, jumping over the body of the gang member that tried to kill Kelly, and he looked down with no air in his lungs. Kelly had fallen down to the street and landed on the roof of the car parked below. He felt like his gut had been pulled up his throat. He turned back and ran past every NYPD officer and SWAT team member in the building. He jumped down the stairs, seeming to take five at a time just so he could get down to the street. He began to hear more sirens, but it sounded muffled, he was only focused on getting Kelly.

  He was able to make it down to the street and pull Kelly's bloody body off the roof of the sedan, holding in her in his arms as he sunk to the sidewalk. She was still alive for a few seconds, long enough for him to hold her tightly and look her in the eyes.

  "Kelly, I love you, I'm so sorry." He spoke, rushing out his words. Kelly was barely breathing. Matt kissed her lips and pressed his forehead against hers until she died a moment later. His tears mixed with her blood, and nobody could pull Matt away from her. He brushed the shards of tempered glass out of her hair and he closed her eyelids.

  "Matt, she's in good hands. It's okay to let go." Matt's captain said, coming up behind him and putting his hands on Matt's shoulder as a comfort.

  "I can't. I can't." Matt said, holding Kelly close to him still.

  "There was nothing you could do. You were the best partner she could have asked for." The captain reassured.

  "Don't let them take her away from me, Captain. It's not right. I'm not ready."

  "Okay, Matt. Okay." The captain spoke, holding Matt as he held Kelly. Matt was in shock, and the captain let him have ten more minutes with Kelly before they slowly began to take Kelly.

  "She's alright, Matt. Don't you worry. They'll take care of her just like you did. It's okay." The captain said as Matt was recognizing that they were moving Kelly. Matt's captain slowly took off Matt's bulletproof vest, wrapping a shock blanket around him instead and covering that with his NYPD windbreaker. He helped Matt up, and they walked slowly away from the crime scene.

  Matt didn't eat, he didn't sleep, and he could barely attend her police funeral. Matt sat with her folded coffin flag on his lap and he didn't even hear the eulogy. Shane visited him in New York a few days later, because he heard that Kelly died, and he wasn't doing well. The captain called him since Shane was Matt's high school best friend and they had stayed close, and the only other person that Matt could confide in. Matt always talked about Shane, and kept a photo of the two of them on his desk from their annual camping and fishing trip. Their lives were both busy, but they had made a connection that would last a lifetime and wouldn’t easily be broken. They had a different kind of love neither could find in anyone else but the other. The Captain was worried about Matt since he had taken a leave off work, nobody had heard from him, and they didn't want to lose another Detective. So, the Captain called Shane.

  Shane got the call and dropped everything to get on the first flight to New York. He got off the plane at LaGuardia airport and took a cap to Matt’s Brooklyn apartment. Shane anticipated that Matt wasn’t going to answer the door, so he picked the lock discreetly and let himself in to Matt's apartment, not finding him in the living room or the kitchen
. He knocked on the door and let himself into Matt's room, finding Matt laying on top of his covers in his dirty jeans and tee shirt.

  "Hey, Matty, it's me, Shane." Shane spoke softly, not wanting to shock Matt.

  "Who sent you? Was it my Captain?" Matt tiredly slurred, and Shane could smell the alcohol on his breath from the doorway. Shane saw the mostly empty handle of whiskey on his bedside.

  "Not going to lie to you, buddy. He told me that you were in bad shape. I came on my own to support you, man." Shane answered, putting down his backpack by Matt’s bedroom door.

  "Sorry you had to come all the way up here for nothing, Shane. I'll be fine." Matt responded, but Shane, of course, didn’t believe him. Shane knelt on the floor in front of Matt as he hung off the side of the bed and looked into Matt’s glassy blue eyes.

  "Matty, I'm ex-military special forces. I don't leave my men behind. I sure as hell know you better than to just leave, man. I know that you'll never ask for help, but you don't have to. I'm your best friend. I'll be right here." Shane spoke, laying down in the bed next to Matt, draping his arm around him. He didn't have to say anything in order to help Matt. He would never admit it, he would never be the one to ask for help first, but he was grateful that Shane knew what Matt needed.

  "I know you miss Kelly. I know you don't want to talk about it. I know that you loved her. I know it's not the same and I know you don't believe me, but I'm always going to love you, Matt." Shane spoke as they laid together and Matt was crying again. Shane stayed close.

  "What do you need, Matt? How else can I help?" Shane spoke a few days later. "You seem to be doing better now. I want you to start feeling okay again."

  "I need to get out of here, Shane. Every time I walk into the damn precinct, everybody looks at me and I know what they're saying behind my back. They feel sorry for me. I'm on desk duty. I'm not even cleared to go in the field. Somebody already took Kelly's desk, Shane. They took everything from her, Shane. They took her life, they took her future, they don't even care that she's gone. They already gave away her desk and she's been reduced down to a box of stuff sitting in my living room. How dare they." Matt spoke, letting his chest pour out to Shane. Shane took Matt into his arms for a hug.