Not According to Plan

by A. m Madden

  “Baby, are you awake?” I ran my fingertip back and forth across her parted lips while my other hand resting on her ass caressed the warm skin of her thigh.

  She snuggled closer to me and hummed contentedly. If it weren’t for this damn baby shower today, we’d spend the entire day lounging lazily in bed. Then again, if it weren’t for this damn baby shower today, I probably would’ve still been in Miami.

  The sound of my phone buzzing with an incoming text served as a nudge to try harder. I snatched it off the nightstand to discreetly read the text and released an audible sigh.

  “What’s wrong?” Jade asked, her voice groggy from sleep.

  “Oh, um.” Think. “It’s Arlene reminding me of some health benefit brunch I committed to,” I lied. “I forgot all about it.”

  “Today? It’s Sunday. Where?”

  “Uptown…and there’s no way around skipping it.”

  “Okay. I thought we’d relax, since you’re probably exhausted and we only have two days together, but I’ll be here when you get back.” She stretched and yawned. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine hanging out in bed all day. I did all my paperwork yesterday.”

  “You can’t!” The look of confusion on her face prompted me to lower my voice and add, “Um…you need to come with me.”

  “What? Why?”

  Shit, this surprise baby shower thing was hard. “Because…I want you to?”

  “Max, that involves shaving my legs, parts of which I can’t see very well thanks to my belly…and putting on makeup…blowing out my hair—”

  “I’ll help you.” I lifted her so quickly she gasped in shock.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We don’t have much time.”

  I placed her down, removed my Miami U T-shirt that she threw on after we made love, and deposited her into a warm, steamy shower. Without hesitation, I followed in behind and immediately began to wash her hair. The only reason she didn’t object—guessing by her moans—was because it felt damn good. But when I moved on to wash every inch of her body, she started to get handsy with me. Somehow, I managed to keep to my task, even as her hands gripped my cock and starting pumping.

  It was only when she began nibbling on my neck that the washcloth I held over her breasts halted. “You’re driving me crazy,” I growled.

  “Good.” She bit on my earlobe, making her way to other parts of me.

  “I have a better idea.” I reached for something behind her, dropped to my knees, and said, “Put your foot on my knee.” A spicy grin spread over her lips when she met my eyes and palmed the wall to stay upright. “Close your eyes,” I demanded. She did as she was told, until the scraping of my razor up the front of her leg caused them to fly open.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Shh. Stay still.” She gawked as I gingerly shaved first one leg and then the other. Motioning to her crotch with the razor, I looked up with hooded eyes and swallowed. “Spread…”

  “No way.”

  After thinking better of it, I stood and nodded. “You’re right. It’s too slippery in here. I don’t want you falling.” Shutting the water, I grabbed a thick towel to cocoon her with and carried her out to the bed. “Don’t move.”

  “Max. What the hell is happening?”

  Seconds later, I was back with shaving cream and the razor. “You said you couldn’t see some parts. I’m helping you,” I informed her with a wink.

  “No!” The panic in her voice went ignored as I forced her legs open and began prepping her with a thin layer of shaving cream. Flinching from the chilly foam, any discomfort vanished when I used my fingers to spread her gently while carefully shaving her most private part. Meanwhile, the fucker between my legs made it hard to concentrate.

  “Oh…” she said on a sigh, laying back and conceding by spreading her knees farther apart. Her mewls and moans drove me nuts, making this act one of the most erotic things I’d ever done to a woman.

  Once I wiped her clean, she lifted her head to meet my gaze. I tried to hide my torture while scrubbing a hand over my face.

  “I don’t know why that just happened, but you’ve worked me up and…”

  “Hold that thought.” Like a man possessed, I scurried to her bag, pulling out undergarments, and then to my closet to grab the pink sweater dress I had purchased for her at the maternity store and laid it on the bed along with the other items. “Ready for me to do your makeup?”

  “I’ll do it,” she grumbled, climbing off the bed while clutching the towel.

  “Okay, hurry, though…or…or we won’t get a good table.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jade

  Health benefit brunch, my ass. I believed that lame excuse as much as I still believed in Santa.

  The man couldn’t lie for shit. Maybe it was the anxiety written all over his face that had me playing along, but I decided not to be difficult. The “forgotten” luncheon coming on the only weekend he was home could only mean one thing.

  Without further argument, I got dressed and paid special attention to my hair and makeup. Soon enough, I was ready for what I knew was my “surprise” baby shower.

  A little over an hour later, we were on our way. Max spent the drive tapping his thumbs nervously on the steering wheel. I smiled when he pulled up to a restaurant named Mary Lou’s. This chosen venue had Amy written all over it, since she was the one who knew how badly I wanted to eat there.

  “Tell me, who can I expect to meet today?” I asked while focusing on his profile.

  “Um…oh, just other gym owners and…you know…people.”

  “People, huh? Good to know aliens weren’t invited.”

  He swung his gaze toward me, and the look of bewilderment on his face almost had me laughing out loud. “No aliens…just people.”

  Max leaped out of the car like his seat was on fire, handed his key to the valet attendant, and opened my door.

  As we stood outside the entrance, I peered through the darkened window.

  “Stop.” Max forcibly twisted my body around to face the street. At my raised brows, he shrugged. “You don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable as they’re eating.”

  “What if someone famous is right behind that glass? I have been wanting to eat here for years.” I schooled my features and smiled warmly. “You look so handsome,” I said, smoothing a hand down his pale green tie. Max knew I loved him in green as much as he loved me in pink.

  “And you look stunning. All the people will be envious of you.” From inside his pocket, we heard his cell buzzing again with yet another text alert. He pulled it out, tapped out a quick response, and shoved it back in. I’d never seen him this nervous, and I felt bad for the guy. Especially, when he crooked a finger inside his collar in an attempt to loosen it.

  “Max,” I said, deciding to put him out of his misery.

  “Mmm?”

  “I know.”

  “You know what?”

  “I know that this is my baby shower.”

  The indifferent mask he wore all morning fell at my comment. “You do?” He scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “Fuck…I had one job to do. Your family is going to think I’m completely incompetent. Was it something I did to give it away?”

  “You did nothing to tip me off,” I lied. “But when a pregnant woman is forced to dress up and put on heels out of the blue, on a weekend you’re coincidentally in town, the only reason could be—baby shower. We’ll make this our little secret, though. I’ll act surprised, no worries. Under one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “You finish what you should have started earlier after shaving me.”

  “Oh, it’s a fucking deal, baby.” A slow smile spread before he kissed the tip of my nose. “I love you, Jade.”

  “I know.”

  “Ready to act
surprised?”

  “Yep. I got this.”

  Hand in hand, we entered Mary Lou’s and approached the hostess standing at the mahogany podium.

  “Hi, I’m Brandi. Welcome to Mary Lou’s. Do you have a reservation?”

  “Navarro.” A wordless conversation passed between Max and Brandi before she lifted the handset on the phone and pressed a button. The restaurant was fairly quiet, since only a few tables were occupied by those enjoying a leisurely Sunday brunch.

  “Can I take your coats?” Max helped me with mine before he shrugged out of his and handed them to Brandi. She hung them in the coat check closet and handed him a ticket. “Okay, just follow me, please,” she said and led us straight toward the back of the restaurant.

  I leaned into Max and whispered, “Very subtle,” earning me the stink-eye.

  When the hostess reached a French door, she grabbed the handle and turned toward us. Wanting to mess with her, I said, “It’s really quiet in there. Are we the first guests to arrive for the health benefit luncheon?”

  At my question, Max squeezed my hand before rolling his eyes.

  “Um…” Brandi fumbled for a moment, looking very confused.

  “I’m kidding.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, enjoy your…party,” she retorted with a saccharin smile. If I hadn’t already figured out this was my shower, her obviousness would have clued me in anyway.

  The moment she opened the door with a flourish, a shouted, “Surprise!” assaulted us.

  “Oh my goodness!” I exclaimed, cradling my belly with my free hand. “I’m so surprised! How did you guys pull this off without me knowing?”

  Ignoring Max’s tone down the theatrics expression, I pretended to be visibly shaken as a swarm of women surrounded me. Max was pushed to the side while every female I knew tried to get to me. Hands touched my belly over and over as I smiled at all the compliments that could be considered acceptable to utter to a very pregnant woman.

  “You’re not so big.” Maybe in comparison to a beached whale.

  “You look like you’re carrying a girl.” Code for your ass got fat.

  “You’re glowing.” That’s just the hot flash that I’m having.

  Fifteen minutes and about six dozen pictures I had to pose for later, Max kissed me sweetly before discretely slipping out the door.

  The shower may not have been a surprise, but the way my mother, sister, and Max’s mom all got along certainly was a shock. When I asked when they had met, Sapphire admitted Monica had gone to my mom’s house for lunch to help plan the shower.

  Except for the waitstaff clearing tables, the room had emptied a few minutes earlier. Each guest made their exit with a party favor in one hand and a doggie bag in the other.

  “So were you really surprised?” Sapphire asked once the place cleared out. “Max didn’t blow it, did he?”

  “Oh no, I was shocked.” Amy narrowed her eyes at me. That bitch always knew when I was lying. “Where are we going to put all this stuff?” I deflected. There was literally a mountain of presents.

  “You can keep the things you won’t need right away in our basement,” Monica offered. A sly smile spread over her lips before she added, “I’ve been waiting to fill that corner.”

  “That’s a great idea,” my mom agreed. “The first few months babies don’t need much at all. By the time you’re ready for the progressive gifts, maybe you and Max will find a place together.” Her flippant comment forced a slow blink. My mother could be as subtle as a gas explosion. She shrugged like her comment was no big deal. Meanwhile, my eyes cut to Monica, who was watching me warily. I wondered if her son had told her he asked me to move in with him.

  While my mother, sister, and Monica gathered the presents into manageable piles, Amy pulled me toward the closest table and plopped us both down to sit. “Why the long face?”

  “I’m overwhelmed.” I looked at her in a panic. “This is really happening, Aim…in less than three months, and I’m not ready.”

  “And that must be killing you.” She sipped her cocktail and then lifted it with a frown. “Relax. Sorry you can’t partake, but I’ll take one for the team.”

  “Yeah, I appreciate that.”

  Amy suddenly moaned and said, “Oh, good Lord.” I followed her line of sight behind me, only to spot Max and Brad walking into the garden room.

  “What?”

  “Two of them is enough to make any warm-blooded woman squirm…but shit, can you imagine seeing all three of them in one place?” Leaning closer, she hissed, “Gorgeous triplets would make for a great romance novel.”

  “You’re not writing erotica about my boyfriend.”

  “Whatever.” My friend Amy, who also had no subtlety to speak of, struck a pose just as they reached us.

  “Hey, beautiful.” Max leaned down and kissed me chastely. “Did you have fun?”

  “I did. It was a lovely shower.”

  His eyes focused on my hands skimming over my belly, and with a frown, he asked, “You okay?” Although I’d been experiencing what they called Braxton Hicks all day, the electric smile and nod I responded with appeased his concern.

  “Hi, Max,” Amy said while her eyes focused on Brad. I blushed at the way Brad stared right back at her, even more so from the way his gaze held an unspoken dare.

  “Hi, Amy.” Max turned toward his brother. “Brad, this is Jade’s best friend…”

  “Amy Delton,” she interrupted with a shitload of confidence. Sporting a coy smile, she thrust a hand toward Brad.

  “Brad Navarro,” he responded, returning a salacious smirk of his own while slowly pumping their connected hands.

  “So, you’re the bar owner…not the lawyer.”

  “That’s me. The lawyer is off somewhere ending another marriage.” The confused look on Amy’s face had Brad adding, “Divorce lawyer. So you’re the erotic author.”

  “Guilty.”

  “I may have to take up reading romance novels,” Brad touted, his eyes raking over Amy from head to toe. The obvious motion caused me to blush, yet again. On the contrary, it caused my friend to puff out her chest like a proud peacock. “Do you practice what you write? Fetishes? BDSM play?”

  “Are you always this intrusive?”

  “It’s a curse,” he said with a nod.

  Not wanting any part of their conversation, Max took my hand and led me toward the pile of presents. As he did, I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder as Amy and Brad began to rally one inappropriate comment after another.

  Monica spotted her sons and snapped her fingers to grab their attention. “Boys, these gifts aren’t going to move themselves.”

  “Okay, Mom and I are off,” Sapphire said, pulling me into her arms for a hard hug. “Let me know if you need me to help you organize your room.”

  “I will.” Again, exhaustion hit me hard. “Once I stop working, I’ll handle it all.”

  “That’s not such a great plan,” my sister argued. “By the time you stop working, all you’ll want to do is eat and sleep, with your feet propped up, while sitting up, because lying flat will require acrobatics to get you upright again. And don’t get me started on the heartburn.”

  It was probably the look on my face that caught Max’s attention as he lifted the biggest box in the place. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes. Sapphire is just freaking me out.”

  “Oh, please. If I wanted to freak you out, I’d go in detail over what happens to your crotch when—”

  “Sapphire!” my mother barked. Thinking her next words would be a scolding, she instead added, “Wait until you’re alone to give her those details.”

  “Okay, bye-bye,” I said, shutting them down with a firm shove on Sapphire’s back.

  Unruffled, my sister grinned and waved. “Bye, everyone.”

  My pragmatic
friend volunteered to drive me to Max’s and keep me company as the men worked on bringing in all the presents that Monica decided we needed as soon as the baby was born. We decided to pile them in Max’s spare room until we figured out what would go to my place or stay at his. While Amy and I lounged on Max’s couch, sipping lemonade, hers spiked with vodka, he and Brad made a few trips from the lobby to his apartment.

  “I really should be home writing, but I’ll consider this inspiration,” she whispered, her eyes pinned to Brad’s ass while he bent over to lift a stack of boxes.

  I waited until the men retreated to the guest room before responding. “That’s my boyfriend’s identical brother you’re ogling. It’s weird.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it could easily be Max.” Just as I said that, Max appeared with a sigh.

  “Tired, Brad?” Amy asked.

  “I’m Max,” he responded, proving my point.

  I leaned closer. “Um…Brad is wearing the gray T-shirt.”

  “I didn’t memorize their clothes,” she said with an eye roll. When Brad emerged from the bedroom and stood beside Max, she leaned over and whispered, “If they were standing in their underwear, how would you tell them apart?”

  “I just can. But when they smile, Max has the dimples.” My fun fact caused her to study them from afar.

  “Good Lord. Can you imagine them in high school?”

  “I know.” Lowering my voice even more, I admitted, “Just seeing a picture of Max in his Miami University football uniform had me pulling out B.O.B. that night for relief.”

  “Shit…that body in tight white pants. I’d suspect that picture was as good as porn.”

  My giggle caused Max to look over at me and raise a brow. “What are you two whispering about?”

  “The plot of my new book,” Amy responded without missing a beat.

  “That must explain why Jade is blushing,” Brad said on a laugh. His focus moved to Amy. “Maybe once I’m done being slave-boy to my brother, you and I can grab a drink.”

  Amy stared long and hard into Brad’s eyes, and then with a small shake of her head, she said, “Nah. You’re not my type.”