Not According to Plan

by A. m Madden

  She was so full of shit.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Max

  For our Christmas celebration, I decided to take Jade to a favorite spot called Scenery.

  “This is lovely, Max,” she said as the hostess led us to an intimate table on the edge of the dance floor. “So romantic.”

  “We never really had a real date,” I explained with a shrug.

  The old school cocktail lounge screamed romance with candlelight and dim lighting. The best part, patrons were seated in high-backed booths for two that faced out toward the floor-to-ceiling windows. With their backs to the parquet dance floor in the center of the room, where couples swayed to soothing instrumental music, it afforded a very intimate setting. We were sitting on the Hudson River side, which I had requested specifically knowing Jade grew up right across that river.

  Once we were seated side by side, she devoured the view and let out a tiny sigh. “This view.”

  “I knew you’d like it.”

  Conversation stalled when a waiter took our drink orders, and once Jade and I each ordered, I laid my arm across her shoulders.

  “See those two tall skinny buildings?” She adorably pointed out the window to the left of the George Washington Bridge. “My parents’ place is about four inches south of them. Well, not four literal inches.”

  “I remember passing those buildings when we had dinner there.” The tension during that meal flittered into my thoughts. Pushing it aside, I said, “Tell me about your childhood.”

  She paused while water was poured and a bowl of nuts was placed on the small round table. After the waiter retreated again, she answered, “It was super boring.”

  “There’s that word again.” I looked down at her and narrowed my eyes in a pretend stern expression. “Boring doesn’t belong in your vocabulary.”

  “It’s true, unfortunately. Case in point—look how close I grew up to the best city on earth yet never ventured over that river to experience it.”

  “You didn’t come into the city? You could practically swim over.”

  “I know, right?” She grew quiet for a bit, fiddling with her silverware. “My mom kind of hates the city. The first time I ventured into Manhattan wasn’t until I was old enough to tag along with my sister and Greg, who was her boyfriend at the time. Lacking excitement, you’d think I’d choose a more exciting career path, but instead I became a lawyer in one of the stuffiest firms in the country.”

  I remember her admission that she loved what she did, but the look on her face always said otherwise.

  “You should have been born a triplet. Most of the time, I felt like a walking science project. Never a dull moment.”

  She giggled at my stupid analogy before twisting toward me. “What were you guys like as boys?”

  “Trouble. It’s a wonder my parents survived our childhoods. If my brothers and I had met you when we were younger, we’d no doubt brawl over your attention.”

  “Stop.”

  “Swear to God,” I said, crossing my heart. “Nate and I would fight over you civilly, but Brad would play dirty.”

  “You’re teasing me.”

  I stared into her eyes while shaking my head. “No, I’m not.” I easily could have admitted Brad already tried to steal her away. “But you’re mine.”

  “Is that so?” she quipped. Regardless of her sass, there was a slight tinge of pink blushing the apples of her cheeks.

  When she lifted her water and her gaze held mine over the rim of the glass, I countered, “Yes, it is.”

  Our drinks being placed before us halted that conversation, but I’d be sure to remind her once we got home.

  We listened to the jazz band playing while continuing to share tidbits of our lives. After dancing slowly with our arms around each other, during which I kissed her lips a few times, she looked up at me and sighed contentedly. “This is really nice. More my scene than a noisy dance club.”

  “I knew you’d like it.” The sun began to set over Jersey, and the only light came from the flickering candle and overhead dimmed chandeliers. The serenity around us was palpable. I had never felt such an overwhelming sense of calm before. As we continued enjoying the setting, I reached for her hand, twisting it to place a soft kiss on her knuckles.

  She tilted her head to look up at me, opened her mouth, and then closed it.

  “What?”

  “Thank you,” was all she said, but I knew she was holding back on something.

  We were still holding hands when we walked into my apartment. She’d been quiet on the way home, and now that we were there, I wanted to know what had her so lost in her own head.

  Once I turned the lights on the small tree I had picked up, I settled us on my couch side by side. “Okay, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  The concern in my voice caused her brown eyes to widen. “Oh no, I’m fine, Max. The baby is fine.”

  “Then what’s bothering you?”

  “Nothing,” she was quick to say…and if it weren’t for the short pause, and the forced smile, I would’ve believed her.

  When she nervously bit down on her bottom lip, I pushed harder. “Jade, you’re scaring me.”

  “It’s nothing…um…I had to schedule my Lamaze class.” Instantly, I understood her angst.

  “When?”

  “It’s the week of your opening. There weren’t many spots left,” she went on to explain, as if my absence was her fault.

  “Fuck.”

  “Max, please don’t worry about it. I don’t want you to feel bad. Sapphire will go with me.” Her words did little to dislodge the lump in my throat. I should be with her. At my silence, she pressed her hand on my thigh. “I’ll FaceTime you. It’ll be like you’re right there,” she said with a smile that did little to make me feel better.

  “I’m sorry, Jade.” Her eyes tracked my hand raking through my hair in frustration. “What day is it? Maybe I can fly back and—”

  “Stop, Max.” She held my gaze for a beat before saying, “You can’t fly back for a two-hour class. It’s not your fault you can’t be there.”

  “I don’t care. I can handle it.”

  She shook her head. “Your mom was right. You can’t always be there for everyone.”

  “You’re not just anyone,” I argued. Her lack of a response prompted me to cup her face until her eyes remained on mine. “You’re not just anyone,” I repeated.

  “Let’s not ruin our night,” she said with a forced smile.

  …

  Jade

  Max always went to great lengths to calm my fears, even when he wasn’t any less stressed than I was. Like now. I hated having to tell him about the Lamaze class because I knew it would bother him greatly.

  The Miami location, visiting Mia as much as possible, and his hours at the gym kept him running ragged. Yes, Max kept arguing with anyone who’d listen that he could handle it, but he had so much on his plate, I worried that when something would eventually fall off, it would bring me heartbreak. By no fault of his own, on the ladder of priorities in his life, I fell a few rungs below the rest.

  But I really didn’t want to ruin our time together. He was leaving again tomorrow, and I wanted to get lost in him, even if for just this one night.

  “I know we agreed on no gifts…”

  “You made me swear on it,” he grumbled.

  “Well, that doesn’t mean we can’t gift each other with mind-blowing sex.” When I straddled his lap, his mesmerizing eyes blazed dangerously. “Max.”

  “Yeah?” he responded, and when his eyes pinned to my lips, a shiver traveled through my entire body, ending in my crotch.

  “Meet me in your bedroom.” I stepped away with a smile, taking the liberty to kick off my heels one by one on my way out of the room. Turning to stare back at him, the way his gaze drilled right throug
h me from where he sat meant my distraction tactics were working.

  I disappeared into his bathroom and a few minutes later emerged to find Max leaning on the doorframe. His eyes tracked me like a predator would his prey as I climbed onto the bed in nothing but the lacy pink bra and thong he loved so much.

  “Are you just going to stand there?”

  Our eyes locked, until he said, “No.”

  Even from where he stood, the goose bumps that spread over my body were visible. So were the way my nipples pebbled under his gaze.

  “Take off your bra.”

  I followed his command without hesitation, tossing it onto the floor beside the bed.

  “Now touch your breasts, baby.”

  What? He wanted to watch me… This was new.

  “Go on.” He folded his arms in wait.

  But no words of protest came. Having him standing there commanding me to touch myself was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced, short of him shaving me yesterday.

  With a coy smile, I rested my hands on the side of my neck before slowly moving them down to circle each breast, pushing my pert nipples between the valley of my thumbs and forefingers.

  He slowly removed his shirt, shoes, socks, and pants, each article tormenting my predicament enough to make me squirm uncomfortably. I could already tell he was hard as a rock, and when my eyes shifted down his body and back up, he knew I knew just how hard he was.

  “Obviously, I like this,” he confirmed, glancing down at his cock with a smirk. “Keep going,” he instructed. “Touch yourself the way you do when I’m not with you.” While waiting for me to concede, he moved his hand down, slipping it inside his boxer briefs, and began rubbing himself. “Now you.” The move sent a surge of electrically charged sparks to ignite between my legs, as well as a boost in confidence.

  I skimmed one hand down over my belly then mimicked him by sliding it beneath my panties and skimmed my fingertips over myself. Having his eyes on me intensified the pulsing taking over my lower half. The more he stared, the closer I came to climax.

  Assuming he would watch until I orgasmed, instead Max bolted onto the bed, ripped the thong off my body, and shamelessly took over what he made me start by replacing my hand with his mouth.

  At first, his soft lips moved slowly…really slowly, stroking his tongue against my heated flesh. A guttural moan escaped me, and his hands moved up to the inside of my thighs, spreading me further, setting me on fire. His other hand continued attending to his own predicament.

  I tapped his side. “Twist around.”

  The scorching look of understanding he gave me practically had me coming right then. He removed his briefs and not only turned his body, he flipped me over him until his face was between my legs, and my mouth hovered over his hard-on.

  With each long lap he made, I reciprocated with a forceful suck. Max stole my breath, making it hard to keep still, to concentrate on him. Rising higher on my knees, I gripped his thighs, pushing myself against his mouth while devouring him at the same time. We both chased our releases with muffled moans. Soon, my muscles spasmed, and I cried out his name. The intensity of my orgasm practically crippled me.

  He never stopped as I relaxed, even with my heaving chest the only movement that came from my body. “Now you,” I said, resuming my task. He dropped his head with a moan, and the loss of his warm lips almost had me begging for a repeat.

  But only a moment later, as if he could read my mind, he said, “In that case, I may as well make myself useful,” before going in for round two.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Max

  After an amazing night getting lost in each other, I spent a good part of the rest of it staring at her. As she slept, I tried to find a way to broach what I’d been wanting to say for weeks. It had to be now. With my returning to Miami later that evening, I wanted to say it to her face and not over a phone call.

  The chimes ominously ringing from her cell phone metaphorically meant our time was almost up. Jade had set her alarm earlier than normal to allow more time together before she had to get to work and I had to get to the gym.

  She reached toward the nightstand to silence her phone and with a languid stretch said, “Morning.”

  “Morning, beautiful.” I pulled her closer, memorizing how her naked body fit so perfectly against mine. Without conscious thought, my one hand rested on her belly while I traced a lazy pattern over the warm skin of her back with the other. “This weekend was nice.”

  She tilted her head to stare at me. “It was great, Max.”

  Her words said one thing, but I could see so many more unspoken words in her eyes. “Something is bothering you. I can tell. Talk to me.”

  She dragged in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “When we’re together, it’s always so wonderful.”

  “But?”

  “But…when we’re apart, sometimes I feel like we’re trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.”

  My heart sunk at her admission.

  She twisted her body to lie across my chest. “Max, I never expected to feel this way. And it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

  “What is?”

  “Being apart. I hate when you feel guilty that you’re not with me. You hate missing things. It’s a never-ending cycle, and with it comes angst that neither of us deserves.”

  “I didn’t know you felt this way.” And if I had to be honest, I thought, despite our separations, that things were going really well. I could tell she struggled with emotions, but I attributed it to emotions that came with pregnancy. Maybe denial had me missing the fact that there was more than just worry in those big brown orbs. There was a touch of sadness, and now that I recognized that, it practically leveled me. “We love each other, Jade. The rest will work out.”

  “Sometimes love isn’t always enough, Max.”

  “We can do something about it.” I lifted a strand of her hair distractedly. “What if you didn’t look for another job yet? What if you took some time off once the baby came and moved to Miami with me?” Her entire posture instantly stiffened, but I powered on. “You hate your firm, and I have no doubt you’ll get a job in a better one. I know you’ll find a firm that appreciates your hard work and acknowledges what a talented lawyer you are. I just think maybe it would make sense to take a year or two before you do. That’ll give you the opportunity to be with the baby. Selfishly, it would enable you to be with me. If you wanted to, you could study for the bar in Miami to broaden your opportunities.”

  I ignored her deafening silence, taking the moment to get it all out. “I know I asked you to move in here, but now I’m asking you to move to Florida instead. It makes so much sense. I love you, and I want you to be with me.”

  She sat up and shook her head. “You’re asking me to put everything I ever dreamed of on hold, Max? You’re asking me to give it all up?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m asking for you to just postpone it.” I desperately searched her face.

  “Nothing changes for you, then?”

  “Jade, I can’t change my situation. I have a daughter there. Even if I gave up the gym, that doesn’t change my need to be in Miami for Mia. And yes, I’d have to be here, too, for you and our son. But this could be the perfect solution. I don’t expect you to want to move there permanently. Maybe we become snowbirds about thirty years before most people do.”

  The longer she remained silent, the more I doubted my decision to present my case. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe I should’ve waited until after the baby came.

  “Jade, say something,” I pleaded.

  But when she said, “Max, I can’t do this,” I wished she’d said nothing.

  The last hour spent with Jade hovered over our sunny perfect weekend like an unexpected storm cloud. I hated how we left things off, hanging in a very unstable balance. While she showered
and got ready for work, I decided to give her the space she needed, the time she needed to think of all I said. There was nothing more I could do but hope I hadn’t pushed her away beyond reach.

  By the time I walked into my gym, I was mentally exhausted. What normally would lift my spirits the minute I entered, today the noisy machines being utilized by my eager clients did just the opposite.

  The one upside was my absence at the gym hadn’t harmed business. My management team ran the Manhattan location as effectively as I did, and the unexpected holiday bonuses I planned to gift next week revealed how grateful I was.

  After being stopped by several clients to chat and congratulate me on Mia’s birth, I walked into my office and found an enormous bouquet of pink balloons suspended right above my desk. On the shelves of my bookcases were a half dozen gift bags of varying sizes. And across the room hung a tremendous banner that read It’s a Girl.

  Moving the helium bundle to the corner, no sooner had I turned on my computer when I heard, “Knock, knock.” Arlene poked her head in with a beaming smile. “You slipped in while I was in the break room. Welcome back.”

  “Thank you.” I waved at the balloons and gifts. “For all of this. You guys have already done so much for me by running the place.” I matched her smile before adding, “Have a seat.”

  She took one of the chairs facing my desk and grinned. “Am I fired?”

  “Ha ha. A, you’ve been amazing. I couldn’t have done all I did in Miami without you.” I opened my drawer, pulled out a white envelope, and handed it to her.

  “What’s this?” Instead of responding, I waited for her to scan the paperwork. “Manager?”

  “Yes. All the details are there. You’ve been practically running this place on your own already. Do you accept?”

  “This is very generous of you, Max. Yes, of course I accept. Thank you.” She bolted around my desk and hugged me tightly just as another knock sounded at the door.

  “Yes?”