Not According to Plan

by A. m Madden

  I’d become a pro at holding down a wriggling baby in full hysterics. In no time at all, he’d been changed and snapped up snugly in his pajamas, waiting for his meal. No sooner had I clicked the last snap that Jade walked into the room looking gorgeous in my Miami U T-shirt with tussled hair and sleep-flushed cheeks.

  “He’s really hungry,” I said as my red-faced son squirmed in my arms. After kissing a soft, angered cheek, I handed him over and watched as Jade situated the feeding pillow and eased onto the glider.

  When she exposed her breast and skimmed her nipple across Michael’s bottom lip, I laughed at how swiftly he attacked it and stopped crying.

  Smart boy.

  I sat on the floor beside them, watching with the same contented look on my face I often had when she fed him. But internally, despair suffocated me, squeezed all the air from my lungs, making it hard to breathe. These past two weeks had been heaven on earth for me. Living with Jade and my son, being with them every minute of every day, only made what was to come that more painful. The clock was ticking down to when I’d have to give them up, walk away, and succumb to just being a part-time entity in their lives. I’d do it, I trade my needs for theirs…but I knew it was going to be fucking torture.

  I watched the contented expression on her beautiful face, an expression I wanted to memorize. I watched each flutter of Michael’s eyelashes, each pucker of his tiny perfectly shaped pink lips around her nipple, each angelic sigh as he drank, all of which I also wanted to commit to memory.

  He fed in record time, gave us a boisterous burp, and was back in his crib fast asleep.

  Quietly, I led Jade out of Michael’s room, but as I turned toward the bedroom, she instead led me toward the living room.

  “What are we doing?” I asked, amused at how she shoved me so my butt landed on the couch. Wordlessly, she straddled my lap, bringing memories of the night we met to the forefront of my mind. “Jade, it’s too soon for you to have sex,” I reminded her.

  “This isn’t about sex.” She held my gaze in the moonlit room before kissing me. “I was ready to tell you this tomorrow, but now is the perfect time.” This was it…she’d made her decision. Waiting the three or so seconds during her pause was hell for me, yet she’d never know my torment. “So, I’ve thought long and hard over this. And, in the end, I couldn’t bear losing you. I’m coming to Miami.” My shocked expression caused a smile to instantly spread on her face. “I love you, Max. I’ll be miserable here without you. You’re right. It all makes sense to me now. I do plan on studying for the Florida bar exam, and eventually I’ll find a firm where I can make a difference. Maybe even accept pro bono cases for those who can’t afford legal counsel.” She studied my face. “Please say something.”

  What could I say that even remotely conveyed how happy she just made me, even while worrying she may regret it down the road?

  “Are you second-guessing?” she asked when I still hadn’t spoken.

  “You’ll miss your family.” I side-stepped her question. “I’m asking you to give up too much. You were right when you said you’d be making all the sacrifices.”

  “It’s not a sacrifice when it’s all I want. Being with you and Michael is all I want.” She stared at me as I processed her claim. “As for my family, we’ll visit them…they’ll visit us.” When I looked away, she shifted her head to maintain eye contact. “Max, talk to me.”

  “What if being there alone, without your friend, without your family, slowly causes resentment to fester? You’re giving up everything for me.”

  “No, I’m not, Max. I’m gaining everything I want. I’m choosing my new family.”

  Impulsively, I held her face in my hands and kissed her deeply. For the first time in a long time, it wasn’t dread I felt feeling her lips against mine.

  Once I ended the kiss, I said, “Don’t move.” I then lifted and plopped her on the couch.

  “Where are you going?” she asked on a laugh.

  “You’ll see.” I quickly disappeared into our bedroom, grabbing out of the nightstand the icon of my love that I’d been holding for a while now and slipping it into the pocket of my sweats. Even knowing we only had a few hours before our tiny human alarm clock started squawking again, I wanted to do this now. Hell, I’d wanted to do this months ago. When you knew, you knew…and I knew that first night this woman would rock my world. So, in my defense, I’d waited long enough.

  Less than a minute later, I sat beside Jade on the couch, kissing the top of her head before tugging her closer against me. “I’m back.”

  “I’m glad.” After a few moments of silence, she twisted slightly to stare into my eyes. She fiddled with the heart necklace that she never took off. “Max, I’m sorry about everything.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  With a sad smile, she placed her hand on my bare chest. “I can’t even begin to imagine how anxious you’ve been, waiting on me to make a decision.”

  The moonlight filtering in through the blinds swathed her face in an ethereal glow, an intentional spotlight to show me the emotion behind every word she spoke.

  “It’s simple. I love you.” I watched her look away while swallowing the sob that caught in her throat. When her focus turned back to me, I reached down to cup her wet cheek. “You needed time, and you needed to come to your own decision.”

  “My heart was constantly telling me what to do. For someone who always thinks with her head, I kind of missed the signals.”

  “What matters is you recalibrated,” I teased.

  “I definitely have. I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few weeks. I no longer want to waste any precious moments while stressing over my job. I don’t want to take one second for granted. And…I don’t want to miss a thing with Michael or with you. I’m a good lawyer, and the perfect job will be waiting for me when I decide to return.”

  My initial response was a firm hard kiss on her lips. I starved for her, for every bit of her, and with my tongue and my mouth I made sure she knew just how much. I pulled away, leaving my lips burning with desire.

  “I love you, Jade. I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with you, with Michael. I can’t wait until he meets his sister, Mia. I can’t wait to watch them both grow up. I can’t wait to make our home, have more kids.”

  “Whoa. Can I heal from this one first?”

  “Sure,” I said before kissing her nose. Without releasing her, I reached into my pocket, and her eyes focused on the tiny black velvet box in my hand before she lifted them to meet mine. There wasn’t doubt in her expression; there wasn’t resentment. All I saw was her love for me shining through. “Like you, I agree, I don’t want to take a second of my life with you for granted.”

  Tightening my grip around her waist, I pulled her closer until she settled herself on my lap. “I love you, Jade. I thank God every day I was at Brad’s that night, and so were you…that your crazy friend signed you up and that my brother rigged his stupid Kismet Karaoke contest.

  “We may have started all this with one hot night of sex, but as I got to know you, it was the instant connection between us that seemed anything but casual. I felt it even then, and it made me realize our union was indeed kismet. Anyone else would have given up a long time ago. But I knew then, and I know now, we are destined to be together for the rest of our lives.” I slipped the ring on her finger, lifting her hand to kiss where it now rested. “You’re already my partner, my other half. I’m now asking you to be my wife.”

  “Were you waiting for me to decide?”

  “Yes. I wouldn’t ask you until I knew being with me was what you wanted.”

  She reached out to palm my scruff-covered jaw. “Max, it’s all I want,” she said, her voice low and velvety. “Forever.”

  “Good, because I want you to be my forever,” I responded before fusing our lips in one of our soul-crushing kisses that never fai
led to intoxicate me.

  …

  Jade

  His strong arms around me as my legs tangled with his felt amazing. I’d slept like a baby right until the sound of his phone alarm woke us at six. As the haziness of sleep drifted, I stared at my hand, remembering his proposal. The diamond caught the light, splaying a prism of colors across the ceiling…a metaphoric symbol of peace and serenity.

  With a ridiculous smile on my face, I stretched my achy, tired body before slipping out of bed and into the bathroom. It was a good kind of tired, the kind that came with contentment and happiness.

  That night we met, I’d never felt the way Max made me feel. And in the months that followed, not only did he say all the right things, touch me in all the right ways, and seemed too perfect to be true, he had me realizing what truly was important to me.

  As Max showered, I decided to make him breakfast. The smell of his shampoo wafting into the room alerted me to his presence, and before I could turn, two strong arms wrapped around my waist. The feel of his tall hard body pressed up against mine sent my libido off to the races, yet again. This waiting six weeks business was for the birds.

  “You’re spoiling me,” he said directly into my ear.

  I twisted my head, bringing our mouths a whisper apart, and gave him a smile.

  After a soft kiss to the side of my neck, he made himself useful pulling out dishes and utensils. I plated the bacon and eggs, he poured himself coffee and me juice, and it all felt strange and familiar at the same time.

  Once we finished eating and cleaned up breakfast, he reluctantly admitted he needed to make an appearance at the gym. Dressed and ready, he buried his fingers in my hair and gave me a heated kiss before he left. No sooner had he walked out the door when my phone began buzzing with an incoming text.

  Max: Miss me yet?

  Amused at his arrogance, I opened the door and looked down the hall to see him glance over his shoulder with that smile of his that never failed to steal my breath. He winked before stepping into the elevator, leaving me wanting to chase after him.

  Taking advantage of Michael’s morning nap, I jumped into the shower and dressed for the day in record time. When the buzzer sounded, I assumed Max forgot something.

  But there stood Amy, holding a shopping bag.

  “Hey. I thought you had a flight.”

  “I do.” After a kiss on my cheek, she asked, “Where’s Max?”

  “He went to the gym for an hour or so,” I answered while moving aside to let her in.

  “Well, I wanted to give you this before I left.” She raised the bag up with a devious grin.

  “Great,” I replied, half-heartedly. Amy’s gifts weren’t always so practical, as she proved with the huge stuffed giraffe that sat in my son’s room, because every baby needed a giant giraffe.

  “Ta-da,” she said, pulling out what looked like a massive flashlight.

  “What the hell is that?”

  “It’s a flesh-light to give Max some relief during the dry spell he is forced to endure over the next few weeks in the sex department.” My mouth gaped open as I stared at the thing. “You look terrified,” she said with a laugh.

  “To be honest, I am.”

  “Relax, he’s gonna love it. And this one is for you.” With a flourish, she pulled out a bubblegum pink bra with some sort of remote hanging from one side. “I had to go up a size, because you know the ladies are much bigger now,” she quipped with a wave of her hand toward my boobs.

  “And what the hell is that?” I repeated.

  “It’s a vibrating bra. The reviews online are amazing. It’s supposed to help with breastfeeding pain.”

  I narrowed my eyes skeptically. “I’ve never seen that on any of my pregnancy websites.”

  “Okay, it’s not exactly for breastfeeding relief. But the woman at the sex shop said it was a godsend for her.”

  “Um…thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” She pushed the sex toys back into the bag.

  “Do you have time for breakfast?”

  “Yes.” Without thinking, I placed my hand on hers before getting up, and her iron grip stopped me from moving another inch.

  “What the hell is that?” she screeched while staring at my ring. I completely forgot it was on my finger. “When were you planning on telling me?” she accused with a death glare.

  “It just happened. I made my decision last night. After I told him I wanted to move to Miami, he proposed.” I didn’t need to say another word when my friend’s scowl morphed into an expression of sadness and happiness.

  In a flash, she crushed me in her arms. “I’m so happy for you! I’m going to miss the shit out of you, but you made the right decision, Jade.”

  I glanced down at my ring. “I know I did.”

  She snatched my hand in hers to get a better look. “Shit, it’s huge.”

  “Yeah, he did well.” Its classic round cut brilliantly caught the light in its perfect facets. “He’s made me so happy, Amy.”

  “Duh.”

  We chatted as she had coffee and eggs, forced to tell her every detail of my conversation with Max. Before we knew it, she looked at her watch and gasped. “Shit, I have to go. Love you.” Jumping up, she kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you next week. Maybe the warden will let you out for a few hours?”

  “As long as it doesn’t snow,” I quipped. Then, giving her a big hug, I admitted, “Hey, I’ll miss you.”

  “You’ll be plenty busy,” she countered. “But I’ll miss you more,” she argued before kissing my head and walking toward the door.

  Just as she disappeared into the hall, I heard voices and a wicked cackle that sounded like Amy.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Max said as he walked in, gifting me with a dimpled smile that I hadn’t seen in a while. When my heart flipped, with it came a sense of longing that I also hadn’t felt in a while. He leaned closer to kiss my forehead and then sat on the chair Amy had vacated.

  “Why did your wacko friend say, ‘you’re welcome’ when I hadn’t thanked her for anything?”

  “She got you a present.” I had to laugh at the look on his face. “She got me one, too.” I showed him my bra thingy first.

  “Oh nice, finally a gift that I could get into. When do I get to see you model it?”

  “I’m afraid it’ll electrocute me.” He chuckled until I pulled out his present. “This one is for you.”

  One look at the flesh-light and the smile fell from his face. “What the fuck?”

  “She’s concerned you won’t be getting any action for a while.”

  “How considerate. But I’m not putting my dick in that,” he grumbled. “Remind me to regift it to Brad. She’s a piece of work.”

  “That she is.”

  I wasn’t sure what Max saw when he looked into my eyes, but it caused him to lead me over onto his lap and ask, “You okay?”

  “I’m great.” I took his hand in both of mine as he searched my face for a sign of confirmation. “I am so happy.”

  “I’ve been dying to hear those words.” When he pressed his lips to mine, the kiss instantly progressed into a slow, erotic one. His hand slipped over my hip in a possessive hold. When a sexy moan floated out of my mouth into his, he pulled away to say, “I love you, Jade. With each kiss, each touch, and each look, you managed to turn my feelings into a living, breathing thing.” He lifted my hand, kissing the ring he had slid on my finger. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

  “I can’t wait to make you my husband,” I countered.

  And it was the absolute truth.

  Epilogue

  Max

  June

  On the weekend of Jade’s birthday, our friends and family were invited under the guise of a birthday/farewell party. And only after arriving to see flowers and a modest tiered cake did they realize i
t was also our wedding day.

  We decided on a whim, both agreeing we wanted it to be small, simple, and surrounded by our parents, siblings…and Amy.

  Since late March, I’d been bouncing back and forth between my two cities every other week. That gave Jade time to pack herself up, give her firm notice, and turn down the new job. We ended up with the bigger apartment in my building, deciding to keep it for the times we visited New York. We also decided to continue to rent the Miami apartment until we knew for sure where we wanted to be in a year or two.

  There was still much to do, to think about, and to prepare for the next chapter of our lives. But today, we’d start with our wedding.

  Tracey, Tristan, and Mia made the trip from Miami. Sapphire and Amy were handed bouquets of pink roses, Brad and Nate were pinned with matching boutonnières, and Mia and Michael sat in their baby carriers, serving as our flower girl and ring bearer. Mia had Tracey’s coloring, and Michael had Jade’s. But both of them had my dimples.

  As our ceremony began, Lawrence walked his daughter toward where I stood with the minister. “Take care of my girl,” he said, offering Jade’s hand to link with mine.

  It’d been a rough start between my father-in-law and me. I couldn’t say we were best buds, not by a long shot, but we were in a much better place. Lawrence and my stepdad made a connection when Michael was born, which, along with our mothers’ easy connection, helped to cement both our families.

  The minister cleared his throat and began reciting the traditional ceremonial words that would soon unite us as husband and wife. Jade looked so beautiful in the simple white lace dress she chose, her silky hair draped over her shoulders, her eyes glassy with emotion. In spite of our guests standing around us as we exchanged our vows, it felt like it was just Jade and me.

  With our hands clasped between us, our gazes remained tethered as that connection between us the night we met continued to spark, a life force of its own. Nothing had diminished that electrical charge that seemed to enigmatically link us as one. Jade’s mother liked to label our chance encounter as fate. Jade and I believed we were destined. Either way, that entrancement we seemed to have for each other during our one-night stand only intensified with each day that passed.