Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4

by Victoria Snow

  “Are you good at numbers?” Lily asked me.

  “I’m alright.”

  “I can count high. Do you want to see?”

  “I do.” I sat back and watched with amusement as Lily started counting while she ate her cookies.

  “What’s this?” A man’s voice mumbled behind me.

  I turned and saw Dylan Colby, a mid-level manager. In his mid-thirties, Dylan was handsome in a slick way. Like Blake, he dressed in expensive suits, but Blake had an edge to him whereas Dylan looked like he could be an Abercrombie model.

  “This is Lily Alexander and she’s counting.”

  “She’s good at it. Must take after her old man.” He winked at Lily.

  “She said her mom was too.”

  He had a wistful smile. “She was. Poor kid.” I realized that he must have worked here when Joanna was here. Many, if not most, of the people who worked JoXander had known Joanna and had only positive things to say about her. She was described as vivacious and kind.

  Dylan watched Lily count a little more and then said, “I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you around, Bella.”

  I nodded. “Bye.”

  Later I took Lily to my office, gathered supplies, and then took her to the conference room.

  “This will be your own workstation.” I put some large books on a chair so she could sit up at the table. Then I put a bunch of paper, pens, a ruler, and paperclips on the table.

  “What am I doing?” Lily asked as she got in the chair.

  “Well, you said you like art, you can make pretty pictures.”

  “What are you doing?”

  I opened my laptop. “I’m working on a project your dad has to sell his cosmetics in France.”

  “Where’s that?” Lily pulled a piece of paper in front of her and picked up a pen.

  “It’s across the ocean.”

  “I’ve never been there.” Lily drew on her paper.

  “Me neither.”

  “Ms. Hanson,” Dana poked her head inside the conference room. “Mr. LaPierre is on the phone.”

  “I’ll take it here, thank you.” I stood and went to the phone in the conference room. I answered and began speaking French to the importing contact we had in Paris.

  Lily’s eyes widened as she looked at me. I winked and continued the conversation. Luckily, it was short.

  “What were you saying? Those were crazy words,” Lily said when I got off the phone.

  “That was a different language called French.”

  “Why do they talk like that?”

  Good question. I could speak French but didn’t know why there were different languages, other than the Bible story about the Tower of Babel. “They just have different words than we do.”

  “What were you saying?”

  I sat next to her at the table. “We were talking about that business deal of your dad’s.”

  “How did you learn all those words?”

  “I learned it from my mom.”

  “My mommy is in heaven.” She said it matter-of-factly. I supposed she was only two or three when her mother died. I felt sad that she probably didn’t remember her mother much. I was grateful that I’d had mine for as long as I did, though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of all the mothers that lived to be a ripe old age.

  “My mommy is in heaven too,” I told her.

  She looked at me with wide eyes. “Really?”

  “Yes. She went there last year.” I felt the tickle in my throat as sadness swept through me. I swallowed it down, not wanting to cry in front of Blake’s daughter.

  “Maybe they’re friends there,” Lily said. I loved how sweet that sounded. “My daddy says everyone loves my mommy up there.”

  “Your daddy is very smart.”

  “Where’s your daddy?”

  This wasn’t a topic I wanted to go into, but I couldn’t not answer it. “I don’t know. He went away when I was little.”

  “In heaven?”

  “No. Just away from my mom and me.” I never got the details about my father, except that he wasn’t interested in being one. He’d left early on and I’d never heard from him. I didn’t even have pictures. My mother had said she was perfectly happy to raise me by herself. She was good at it too, so I never felt like I missed out on anything by not having a father. With my mother gone, it might have been nice to have other family. But if he was an asshole, I’d rather be alone.

  Lily frowned. “That’s not nice.”

  I gave her a wan smile. “No.”

  “My daddy takes care of me. And Mrs. Dougies. And my grandma and grandpa.”

  “A lot of people love you.”

  “Yep.” Lily drew a circle with more circles around it that made me think of a flower.

  “Would you like to learn French?” I asked her.

  “Ok.”

  “Is that a flower you’re drawing?”

  “Yep. I like flowers. My name is a flower.”

  “In French, flowers are ‘les fleurs.’ And a lily is ‘lis.’”

  “Lay flur lee.”

  I smiled at her pronunciation. “J’aime les fleurs is French for I like flowers.”

  “Jem lay flur.”

  “Good. If you want to tell people your name, say 'je m’appelle Lily.’”

  “Jemaple Lily.”

  I patted her back. “Yes. That’s good.”

  “How do you say daddy?”

  “They call father ‘le père,’ but children usually all their dads ‘papa.’”

  “I’m going to do France work for my papa too.” She pulled together the papers and paper clips.

  “He’ll appreciate that,” I said, smiling at her. It wasn’t a surprise that Blake would have such a sweet kid. He was a kind man. He was a bit intense, but I always thought that was because he was deeply emotional. A man who was so devoted to his wife that he felt like he’d cheated on her even two years after she died, was a man of deep feeling. He loved his daughter the same way, I suspected.

  Unfortunately, it appeared they were the only two people who would receive his love. I swallowed the sadness that rose when I remembered his words from the other night.

  You deserve exactly what you told me you wanted earlier. A man who can love you like I love my wife. That man can’t be me.

  Oh, how I wish it could be him. He was everything a woman could want in a man. But he’d been clear about where he stood when it came to relationships. Sex or not, he wouldn’t be able to love me. All I’d have is the one lovely night when then he showed me just how pleasurable it could be between a man and a woman.

  I’d already played that encounter over and over in my head since the moment he left. Remembering the way his hands on my body sent electric shocks through me, lighting me up. The friction as he moved in and out of me, each stroke coiling the tension inside me until I exploded.

  I looked over at Lily and realized that the same touch and intimacy with his wife made Lily. What a miracle that love could produce such a wonderful gift. I longed to be able to have all that. I wanted it with Blake. I wished he’d be able to make room for me. Not that he had to stop loving his wife or forget her, but to open his heart to allow someone else to love him, and to love me back.

  That was a fairytale. I’d known it wasn’t something that would become true before he took me to dinner, and having sex with him wouldn’t change that.

  So now I was back to my regular life; work, binge-watching TV, and lusting for my boss. At least now I had a new scenario to play in my head during lonely nights or in my tub when I needed the pop of sexual release. Not that it was as good as the real thing. Nothing was as good at the real thing.

  Pushing the fantasy out of my head, I turned my attention back to Lily.

  “You know what your work needs is a spreadsheet.” I pulled out a piece of paper and drew lines for rows and columns.

  “What’s that?” Lily studied the grid I made on the paper.

  “It’s how businesses track their numbers, l
ike how much money they’re making and spending, or how many lipsticks they’ve sold.”

  “I want to do that.” Lily bounced with excitement in her chair.

  I pushed the paper toward her. “What do you want to track?”

  She put the pen to her lips and turned her eyes up in thought. Finally, she turned to me. “Cookies.”

  I laughed. “It is important to track cookies.” I worked with her to set up her spreadsheet, and she added numbers. It would make little sense to anyone but her, but she was enjoying it.

  “What’s going on in here?” Blake’s voice broke me from my reverie. I looked up to see he wasn’t alone. A casually but well-dressed woman in her sixties with short silver hair came in with him.

  “Papa, Grandma. I’m doing a sped-sheet.”

  Grandma. That must be Joanna’s mother. Suddenly, I felt like I should leave. What would she think if she knew I’d had sex with her daughter’s husband?

  “No kidding?” Blake came and stood behind Lily. I was close enough to smell his cologne and feel the heat of his body. Cripes, if I wasn’t careful, I’d swoon and give it all away.

  “Ms. Hanson, this is my mother-in-law, Patsy Lockwood. Patsy, this is my executive assistant, Bella Hanson.”

  Patsy smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” I said, standing to shake her hand and get out of their way.

  “Papa.”

  He looked at me and whispered, “Papa?”

  Lily tugged on his coat. “These are cookies and jemapple Lily.”

  He cocked his head looking at her and then to me. “Okay.”

  “It’s French, papa.”

  “Ah.” He smiled. “You two aren’t conspiring to have a secret conversation that I can’t understand, are you?” He turned to Patsy. “Ms. Hanson here is fluent in French.”

  “So, you must be helping Blake open up the market in France,” Patsy said.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “Joanna would have loved that. She loved Paris.” Her expression was a mixture of sadness and wistfulness.

  My gut clenched, and if I wasn’t mistaken, so did Blake’s. I saw him flinch and his jaw tightened.

  “We need to order more cookies, papa.” Lily tapped her spreadsheet with her pen.

  He bent over and kissed her on the head. “I’ll get right on that, Lilybug. But now, your grandma is here to take you home.”

  “Aw. I like it here.”

  “I know you do, but Ms. Hanson has other work she needs to get to.”

  “Can I come do sped-sheets again?” She looked up at me with her big gray eyes.

  “Of course. We need to inventory the ice cream.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Hanson, for watching her.” Blake’s eyes were warm, but I could still see guilt and regret in them.

  “I enjoyed it. Au revoir, Lily.” I waved my fingers at her.

  “Orvar.”

  I started to leave when I heard Lily say, “Wait.”

  I stopped and she ran to me. I squatted down to her level. She leaned in and whispered to me. My heart filled at her request.

  “You say, ‘papa, je t’aime.’”

  Then she surprised me by giving me a hug. I stood and looked at Blake, whose eyes had narrowed, and Patsy, whose eyes were wide with surprise. I didn’t understand their reaction but didn’t think it was my place to ask. I picked up my laptop and work papers and headed back to my office.

  I immersed myself in work for the last hour of the day. As I finished up a report, there was a knock at the door and then a “hello.”

  I looked up to see Dylan poking his head in. “Bella. You finished for the day?”

  “Just about. Come in.”

  He stepped in, closing the door, although not all the way. “Mr. Alexander had you babysitting?”

  He moved toward my desk, taking a seat on the edge as Blake had done a few days ago.

  “I offered. She’s a sweet kid.”

  “Childcare is a little below your pay grade though.”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t mind. Is there something you need?” I never worked directly with Dylan, so it was odd that he was there.

  He gave me a sheepish smile. “Just being friendly.”

  Ah, now I got it. This was a social call. I liked Dylan and thought he was handsome, but he wasn’t Blake. He didn’t make my body warm or ache to be touched. However, Blake was clear that he wasn’t interested in me beyond my spreadsheets and ability to speak French. Perhaps it was time to move on. Maybe I needed to work on getting Blake out of my system. Accepting Dylan’s friendship could help with that.

  “I see.”

  He chatted with me, and while I didn’t feel sparks, I enjoyed his attention and company. Somehow, we got onto the topic of psychics and he said someone had told him there was a line on the hand that showed the size of someone libido. He held out his hand to show me and then showed me on my own hand.

  I didn’t buy it and thought it was a bad pick-up line.

  “No, really, I swear,” he said, holding up his hand like he was in court promising to tell the truth.

  While I wasn’t feeling titillated the way I had with Blake, Dylan was fun. And he had another thing going for him that Blake didn’t: Dylan liked me.

  When the day ended, Dylan walked me to the elevator and out to the street.

  “See you tomorrow, Bella.” He gave my arm a little squeeze.

  I nodded. “See you tomorrow, Dylan.” I watched as he walked off and wondered if the sparks would come if I spent more time with him. Maybe I needed to get out more to meet other men. There had to be another person out there who could replace Blake and love me back.

  8

  Blake

  I felt bothered by how much I put on Bella over the last few days. It was bad enough that I fucked her and left her, but to have her watch my daughter, that seemed like too much. But as I watched her and Lily from the door of the conference room while I waited for my mother-in-law, Patsy, to arrive, I could see that Bella didn’t think it was a hardship at all.

  She was natural with Lily. What was most striking was the way Lily took to her. Lily was shy and didn’t like new situations or people. Was it because Bella was young? Or was it her gentle demeanor that Lily picked up on?

  Maybe it was that Lily needed a mother-figure. Patsy was there but she was her grandmother. Would that be enough? It would have to be because I couldn’t bring another woman into Lily’s life. Joanna was her mother. Lily barely remembered her as it was. To bring another woman in would diminish those memories and that wouldn’t be fair to Joanna who worked so hard to bring Lily into the world.

  But I couldn’t deny the sweetness of the scene between Bella and Lily. I got that odd feeling my chest again, a mixture of yearning and guilt, and if I was honest, self-pity. Why did I have to feel tormented for desiring a woman? Joanna was gone. Plenty of widowers dated and even married again after losing their wives. Even Joanna encouraged me to move on after she died.

  But I’d had no interest. I was a man who was able to live just fine without sex. Until the other night. Now Bella haunted my dreams. Watching her now, my body yearned to touch her again, to feel her tight pussy around my cock. It was fucking driving me mad. But she was off-limits for so many reasons.

  I heard the telltale whoosh of the elevator doors opening. I turned and saw my mother-in-law striding toward me. Guilt lanced me again, and I worried she’d be able to tell I was betraying Joanna and Lily by lusting over my assistant.

  “Blake, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” she said as she reached me.

  I kissed her on the cheek. “It’s okay. Lily seems content.” I nodded toward the conference room.

  Patsy looked in as Lily and Bella chatted and wrote on paper.

  “She does. Who’s she with?”

  “That’s Bella Hanson, my assistant.”

  “Oh Blake, you didn’t make her babysit, did you?” Patsy stared at me with lips pursed and brows knitted in disapproval. It
was the same expression Joanna gave me whenever she was annoyed at me.

  “No. She offered.” I held my hands up in surrender.

  “Hmm.” Patsy looked in again. “Do you spend a lot of time with her?”

  Huh? Could she tell I’d fucked Bella? “I work with her, Patsy, so we do spend time together.”

  “I mean with Lily. She looks comfortable with her. Lily rarely likes strangers.”

  That was strange. But I knew first hand that Bella had a way of drawing people to her. “They just met.”

  “Well, I’d like to meet this woman.”

  I followed Patsy into the conference room and introduced them. Then Lily showed us her cookie spreadsheet and spoke French. It was adorable, and I felt grateful that Bella had been able not just to entertain Lily, but make Lily feel safe and free to express herself.

  As Bella left, Lily rushed to her and asked her something before giving her a hug.

  “Oh my,” Patsy said under her breath. “That woman has kid-mojo.”

  She had man mojo too, but I kept that to myself. She left the room, and for a moment my gaze was stuck on the empty doorway she’d exited.

  “Ja tim, papa.” Lily ran to me.

  I didn’t know a lot of French, but that one I knew. “Je t’aime Lily.”

  “Je t’aime to you too, Grandma.”

  “I love you too, sweetie.”

  I helped get Lily’s things gathered and sent her home with my mother-in-law. I considered stopping by Bella’s office on my way back to mine but decided against it. It wasn’t wise to indulge my urge to see her.

  Back in my own office, I went through reports, spreadsheets (none of which included cookies), and marketing materials. They included the plans for Danica Lane’s print ads and the commercial she’d be doing for JoXander Cosmetics.

  By six-thirty, my secretary had already left, as I knew most of my staff on this floor had. I liked to be home for dinner with Lily, and if I left now, I might make it.

  As I headed out, I saw the light on in Bella’s office. Wanting to make sure she was alright; I made my way there.

  As I got closer, I heard talking. When I reached the door, I realized she was with a man. I peeked around the slightly ajar door to see her behind her desk and a man sitting on the corner it.