Forever & Ever

by Tere Michaels

  “Yes!”

  “And he’s paying you?” Evan gave Matt questioning eyebrows.

  “Of course I am. She’s proven herself invaluable, and frankly if I can get her to like sports more, she can replace Jim entirely.”

  Evan chewed slowly, then swallowed. Clearly he needed more sleep. Was he dreaming this meal? “Well, great. It’s something for you to do until you go back to school.”

  “Mmmm,” Elizabeth said. She poked her green beans. “Are we going to see Miranda and Kent and Shelia tomorrow?”

  “I figured we’ll swing by there, then go to Katie’s—”

  “She’s nesting,” Matt interrupted. “Austin said so.”

  Sitting up straighter, Evan put his fork down. “Maybe I should call.”

  “Wait until after dinner,” Danny said, taking a sip from Evan’s wineglass.

  “HOW DID you know to call?” Austin asked, sounding bewildered. “I mean, that’s just so weird!”

  Evan stopped midpace of his back deck. “What’s wrong?”

  “Katie’s in labor.”

  THEY DIDN’T rush to the hospital because something about contractions and how far apart they were. Matt washed the dishes by hand and cleaned the kitchen so deeply Danny accused him of nesting. The nervous energy drove him to the backyard, where he pretended to examine the fence for loose boards in the twilight. They were just starting on this grandparent journey; at some point it would be Danny and Elizabeth reproducing, and oh God, they were going to do this so many more times. Would every one send Matt’s heart into overdrive?

  Matt did a circuit around their small yard, moving a pot of dried-up marigolds six inches in one direction and three in the other. Did the shed need reorganizing?

  “Matt! Dad said to come inside before you get eaten by coyotes!” Danny’s voice rang out.

  “This is Queens, not New Jersey!” Matt called back.

  Matt trudged back to the house, hands dug deep in his pockets.

  “THE DOCTOR thinks it’ll be a few more hours,” Katie said, her breath coming fast as Evan twitched on the other end of the phone. “You should go to bed.”

  Evan laughed nervously. “It’s sweet you think I could sleep. Do you need me to come over?”

  “No, no. We’ll just let you know when we leave so you can… ow. Ow.” Katie’s voice drifted off as Austin came on the line.

  “Hey, Dad? Yeah, we’re hitting another round of contractions. I’ll call you back.” Austin’s calm voice made Evan feel a touch better. He’d been through this before with Josiah. He was a doctor, though not a medical one. Still.

  “Okay. Love you guys.” Evan reluctantly disconnected the call.

  He lay back on the couch where he had stationed himself—fully clothed, shoes placed next to him on the floor—for the rest of the night. Elizabeth was curled up on the floor in a pile of blankets, fast asleep, while Danny texted Jane from his perch on the chair. In the kitchen, Matt rumbled around, claiming he wanted a midnight snack.

  “We’ve got a while to go,” Evan sighed as Danny grunted in response. “You should go to bed.”

  “I’m fine. Jane’s working an overnight shift at the gym, so I’m keeping her company.” He waved his phone even as he swallowed back a yawn. “She says hi.”

  “Hi, Jane.”

  Matt returned with a bottle of water, a bag of white cheddar popcorn, and two oranges.

  “Are you sharing or having sympathetic cravings?” Evan asked, moving his feet to give Matt some space to sit down after he deposited his goodies on the coffee table.

  “Neither.” He plopped down with a sigh and lasted just long enough for Evan to get comfortable, before jumping up again. “Yeah, that’s not going to work. I’ll be at my desk.”

  Evan watched Matt go. Then he looked over at Danny, who shrugged, and then got up to follow. He checked his pocket a dozen times to make sure his phone was there on his way to Matt’s office.

  Inside, Evan saw the Elizabeth influence in action. Matt’s desk was neatly organized, the card table from the hall closet set up in the corner with her laptop, several legal pads, and pens in a cup. The corkboard from her room now occupied the couch, and two floor plans were pinned up.

  “I’m surprised Elizabeth didn’t paint and add some flowers,” Evan teased gently, leaning against the doorjamb.

  “She’s only technically been on the payroll for about nine hours. Give her until Wednesday at least.” Matt spun his chair around, hands folded on his stomach. “You seemed surprised she was working for me.”

  “A little. I guess I didn’t really see it as something she wanted to do.”

  “Less surprising than the police academy?”

  Evan shrugged. “Good point.”

  “She’s bored, she’s smart, and I pay above minimum wage.” Matt tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I figure she’ll help me during the summer; then, when the school year starts, I’ll make a decision about the future.”

  Evan moved into the room. He grabbed the back of the extra chair and dragged it closer. “Can you do this by yourself? Tell me the truth.” He sat down close enough for their knees to touch.

  Matt’s expression said “I smelled something sour,” and he twisted in his chair, knocking their legs together. “Yes. I mean, on a smaller scale. No new clients unless I lose one. More traveling.”

  “That doesn’t sound fun,” Evan said gently. “And I don’t think you want to be gone that much.”

  “So I hire someone else and hope we can work together the way Jim and I did.”

  Oh.

  Evan leaned in, taking Matt’s hands in his. “Looking for a replacement for Jim is only going to end in tears and whoever you hire being here for about five minutes. He’s your best friend. Work or not, that isn’t going to change. You have to remember that.”

  Matt sighed. “I don’t want to work with a stranger.”

  On the one hand, Evan could easily turn Matt’s frown upside down. He could solve everyone’s problems (or at least the ones in this room) with a simple acceptance—yes, I’ll come work with you.

  But the security business didn’t interest him.

  And he really did want to be retired, focusing on his family, go on regular vacations….

  “Stop thinking so loud. I know you don’t want to do this.” Matt reached over to flick him on the ear. “And I think I read an article in Cosmo that couples shouldn’t work together in a small home office.”

  “I’ll join you if you really want me.”

  Matt rolled his eyes dramatically, throwing himself back in the chair. “God, that was so impassioned and convincing. You’re hired, young man.”

  “This was me being nice,” Evan teased.

  “Your self-sacrifice is duly noted. You’ll get an upgrade in heaven, I’m sure, to a deluxe box seat.”

  Evan kicked him lightly. “Your religion really is baseball.”

  “I appreciate your faked desire to join my company but… don’t worry. I’ll figure it out. Maybe I should look at some ex-cops, you know? Someone who can speak the same language as me. I think that might work.” Matt’s phone began to ring. He spun his chair around, slamming it into Evan’s knees as he lunged for his phone.

  “Austin?”

  MATT’S EXCITEMENT and nerves twisted together in a twitchy whirlwind. Danny threatened to put him in the trunk if he didn’t chill out during the drive over to the hospital, while Elizabeth petted his head from the back seat, urging him to take deep breaths.

  “I should have gotten a prescription for Valium,” Evan called from the back seat.

  “We should have had a beer before this,” Matt responded, tapping his fingers on the dashboard.

  “Drunk at the hospital—that’s a classy look.” Danny steered the car toward the Grand Central, his fingers tight on the wheel. “If everyone could start praying we don’t hit traffic, that would be great.”

  “Still have time.” Evan sounded tense, which made Matt drum harder. “I
t’s only a half hour to the Upper West Side.”

  “As long as there’s no traffic on the Grand Central,” Danny muttered.

  “Steven and Alexandra Cohen Center for Labor and Birth at the Klingenstein Pavilion, 1176 Fifth Avenue, between 98th and 99th Streets,” Elizabeth recited from her phone. “Do you want directions?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “I can get turn by turn.”

  “I know how to get to the Upper West Side, Elizabeth.”

  “Wasn’t questioning your sense of direction, just offering, Daniel.”

  “You are both going to be so good at being married,” Matt deadpanned, turning in his seat to smile at Elizabeth, then Evan.

  “That’s a little too Flowers in the Attic.” Elizabeth booped him on the nose. “I know you don’t know what that means, but trust me, it’s funny.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” Matt checked his phone, then his watch, then the dashboard clock. “Are we there yet?”

  Danny’s exact quote was “Arrrrrgh.”

  DANNY DROPPED them off in front of Mount Sinai, then went to put the car in the garage. The cool summer evening air was a welcome relief to Matt, who felt himself melting from the inside out. He wanted to meet Katie and Austin’s baby; he wanted to head back to Queens and hold Shelia. He wanted to do a little jig as they entered the lobby.

  “I can’t believe this is my life,” he said to Evan as they approached the information desk.

  Evan grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. “I know, right?”

  You procreated—you expected this, Matt thought as Evan spoke to the pleasant-faced woman at the desk, asking for the birthing center. I lived alone and thought I was going to die alone. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this.

  “Let’s wait for Danny over here,” Evan was saying. “Elizabeth—”

  “Texted Austin. He knows we are here. Fred and Beverly are already upstairs.” She threw in a salute for fun. “Matt! We need to buy balloons!”

  Matt dragged his floaty brain back into the conversation. “Do they have gender-neutral balloons?” He paused. “That was a sentence I never imagined coming out of my mouth.”

  “We can get one each pink and blue, then something that’s just ‘woo, a baby.’” Elizabeth turned and jogged over to the information desk.

  “You okay?” Evan asked, close to Matt’s ear.

  Turning to face him, Matt didn’t hold back the smile budding inside him. A moment that seemed a thousand years ago flashed back to him. He and Evan sitting in a seedy bar, the intense energy between them so confusing and so intoxicating he couldn’t stay away. Everything in Matt’s past had told him to run away from what he was feeling back then.

  God, it had been complicated. Life-changing. Like everything he thought he knew got set on fire and remade. What was left, after all the upheaval? Matt with a family, with a purpose.

  The only thing Matt could think of to say, here in the lobby of Mount Sinai, was “Thank you.”

  Evan’s face settled into an expression of concern. “For what?”

  “Making me a poppy.”

  Evan shook his head.

  “Pop?”

  “Eh.” Evan smiled as he leaned in to kiss Matt’s cheek. “A little retro.”

  Elizabeth returned, trailing balloons, including two shaped like giant bottles and one like a diaper pin. “I went totally neutral, but yay baby.”

  “You are absolutely the best intern I’ve ever had,” Matt said sincerely.

  “Oh, thank you!” She reached into the pocket of her shorts to pull out a receipt. “I’m going to need to be reimbursed from petty cash.”

  IN THE green-paneled maternity waiting room, they found Fred and Beverly sitting anxiously with matching rosary beads.

  “She’s doing great. Austin’s with her,” Beverly told Evan as they embraced. Her smile was tremulous. “She’s fine, just fine.”

  The fact that Beverly had done this once before—with a terrible outcome—kept Evan close to her, arms around her shoulders.

  “Thank you for letting me know that,” he said gently. “This is a great hospital. Austin was very specific about that.”

  “He’s been calmer than I have.” Beverly shook her head. “I don’t know how he does it.”

  “My guess is, he’s working very hard to remember this isn’t the same situation,” Evan murmured. Because we talked about it, because he was trying to keep everyone calm, and I totally understand that, he thought.

  “True. That giant brain of his….” She gave him a quick hug. “How are you holding up? I got to see Shelia earlier today—what a precious girl.”

  “I feel like I haven’t slept in a month,” he laughed. “And all day I resented my job keeping me from my granddaughter.”

  “How long before retirement?”

  “Four months. Which seems like a lifetime at this point.”

  THEY’D BARELY settled into their seats when Beverly’s phone buzzed. She made a little sound when she activated the screen, and Evan, closest to her, could barely catch his breath. There was a plump little face with a full head of black hair, Josiah’s nose, Katie’s big eyes, and cheeks that begged to be pinched.

  “What?” Matt asked as he and Fred leaned over to see. Evan felt Elizabeth and Danny crowding on the other side.

  “Oh my God! He’s… she’s… is that a boy or girl?” squeaked Elizabeth.

  With shaking hands, Beverly typed a dozen hearts, then wrote: boy or girl?

  Our beautiful boy says hello to his family came the response. Then: Katie sends her love. Be out in a bit.

  Evan swallowed his tears, staring at the sweet face on Beverly’s phone. “I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve got some gorgeous grandchildren.”

  MATT AND Fred did the macho backslapping thing, both of them crying like idiots at the same time.

  “Let’s wait before we do this again,” Matt said to Evan after he left Fred to put his arms around Beverly. “My tear ducts can’t handle all this use.” He pulled a still dazed-looking Evan out of the chair.

  “Mavan’s a boy,” Evan said with a smile. “Josiah is going to be over the moon.”

  “I know that’s not what they’re naming him, but I have to admit, it’s kind of grown on me.”

  Evan yanked Matt into his arms. “Why did you thank me before?” he asked, his lips close enough for a kiss.

  Matt took the kiss—because how could he resist? Their lips slotted together, perfectly in sync. When Matt pulled back, his smile felt like it could split his face.

  “For this amazing fucking family.”

  IT WAS an hour before they got to see Katie, Austin, and the new baby. In the meantime, Evan texted their friends and family and called both Miranda and Ellie to deliver the good news.

  Miranda wanted to come to the hospital, but Evan managed to talk her down into coming tomorrow. “Kent can watch Shelia and you can come see Katie and the baby. It’s so late….”

  She sniffled over the line. “I know it makes sense, but I want to see him! That picture was just…. Daddy, he’s so sweet!”

  “And you’ll be spoiling him rotten in no time,” he said gently. “I’ll take more pictures when we get in there.”

  “Okay. Give him a kiss! And Katie! And Austin! Tell her I’ll call her first thing in the morning.”

  “Promise. Now go to sleep before Shelia wakes up.”

  “Love you, Daddy.”

  Evan had just hung up when the door opened. Austin’s exhausted face greeted them.

  “Looking for the Hill-Cerelli-Haight family? We have a new member,” he said, walking into the room, arms outstretched.

  UNLIKE WITH Miranda, they went back in small groups. Evan sent Beverly and Fred in first, despite his itching to get back there. The twins disappeared to find bathrooms and coffee, which left him and Matt alone in the waiting room. Matt pressed against his side, their fingers entwined.

  “You’re handling all this very well,” Matt whispered.
/>   “What? Beverly needed to get back there to put her mind at ease,” Evan said with a shrug. “I understand that.”

  “No, I meant all of it.” Matt nudged him. “I figured you’d be missing Sherri right about now.”

  Evan turned his head, nearly banging Matt’s forehead against his. He searched his husband’s face for distress, but a placid calm and tender smile greeted him instead.

  “I don’t know if missing is the right word,” he said thoughtfully. “I’m sad she isn’t here to see this. Same way I’ve felt at every birthday and milestone in their lives. She loved our kids so damn much….” His voice drifted off. “I see her as a young woman like she’s frozen in time. I can’t imagine her… here, now.” Melancholy swept through him. “It’s just… sad.”

  Part of him braced for Matt’s reaction, but the gentle kiss his husband gave him wasn’t a surprise. “It is sad. And I’m sorry she’s missing out on all this.”

  Evan opened his mouth to give reassurance—of his love for Matt, of the way it didn’t diminish that because he missed his wife being here—but Matt kissed him again.

  “Shut up.”

  “You shouldn’t feel—” Evan started but Matt blew a raspberry in his face.

  Well, that was startling.

  “I feel grateful to be here. I love our family,” Matt murmured. “Our kids have kids, for Christ’s sake. And I am… sad. Because a really nice lady isn’t here to see how amazing her children turned out. I’m going to go ahead and call it incredible personal growth, because that’s the truth.”

  Evan sucked back a wave of emotion. “I have to go see my grandson. Jumping you is not an option.”

  Matt cackled with delight.

  BRACING HIMSELF, Matt followed Evan into Katie’s room. He’d pretty much emptied the box of tissues in the waiting room, transferring them into the pocket of his khakis. He had a feeling he was going to use them all.

  Tucked in the hospital bed under a pile of blankets, Katie looked pale and exhausted, but the smile on her face eased a little of Matt’s panic. Austin sat next to her in a vinyl side chair, a white bundle in his arms.