Forever & Ever

by Tere Michaels

  “Oh my God, he’s like twice Shelia’s size” were his first words, which triggered a slow turn and incredulous look from Evan.

  “What? He’s a linebacker. Austin, buy your wife a diamond necklace,” Matt rambled.

  “I’d argue, but I can’t. Because ouch,” Katie said weakly, reaching out to get a hug from Evan.

  Matt’s gaze flicked from the baby to Katie; he felt pulled in two directions, so he leaned down, kissed Austin on the cheek, and then peered into the blanket to see his new grandson.

  “If there is a Vogue for Babies, this child will be on the cover,” he said, feeling a coo coming on as the baby made a little mewing sound, twisting in his father’s arms. “He’s healthy? Everything he needs, he’s got?”

  Austin laughed. “Hundred percent. He missed his due date by seven days, but I think we should be grateful. Nine pounds.”

  “Nine pounds!” Matt straightened up, catching Katie’s eye. His nose and eyes immediately became clouded with tears. “You’re a champ.”

  Katie shrugged, leaning against her father on the bed. “I won’t be recommending it as a fun exercise in the future, but when the end result is that beautiful boy….”

  Matt made shooing motions at Evan. “Go away so I can hug my girl.”

  When he got her into his arms, Matt let go. Not crying, per se, but letting his embrace truly communicate his love for her. When things were scary, when he didn’t think he could do this, Katie had his back. He’d have hers until his dying day, a promise he made in his head as he tightened his hug.

  “You okay?” Matt whispered into her hair. “Really?”

  “Yeah. It was just really hard,” she whispered back. “A little scary.”

  He rubbed her back gently. “You did it, Katie. You did great.”

  “I HAVE four months until retirement,” Evan announced as he held his grandson. “Four months until my main job is spoiling the daylights out of you.” The baby made a series of adorable faces, which had Evan considering moving that date up.

  “Oh, Grandpa Evan is going to be a spoiler, is he?” Katie said, holding Austin’s hand as she watched her father. “I will believe it when I see it.”

  Evan’s eyebrows folded together into a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean? I spoil Josiah. I do the same with Caroline and Sadie. Shelia and uh… are we getting a name at some point, or are we keeping Mavan?”

  Katie giggled, then put her hand on her stomach. “Ow.”

  “Mavan is not the name we decided on.” Austin looked adoringly at Katie. “We spent a lot of time on this.” He turned back to Matt and Evan. “We didn’t want to copy Miranda and Kent. We didn’t want to make any of his three wonderful grandfathers feel left out. So….”

  “Hurry, please. I have things with monograms to buy,” Matt said impatiently.

  “His name is Nathaniel.” Katie beamed at them. “Nathaniel means ‘gift from God,’ and we feel pretty darn lucky, so….”

  “Nathaniel,” Evan murmured, marveling over the weight and warmth of the baby in his arms. “That’s a beautiful name.”

  “Is his middle name Mavan?”

  “Matt, I beg you. Please do not encourage that with Josiah. Please,” Katie said, using her stern voice.

  “What, then?”

  Austin executed a perfect deadpan. “I think we are going with LeBron.”

  SIX WEEKS later Matt found himself back in the Queens party space, in the same room, surrounded by approximately one hundred pink and blue balloons. A white box had replaced the table of gifts, with a little slot for cards. A sheet cake the size of a Volkswagen that celebrated the christening of Shelia Cerelli Moran and Nathaniel Cerelli Hill sat on a table, covered in six inches of white frosting.

  “We have to cut into a cross? Isn’t that bad?” he asked Elizabeth, who was alternating pink and blue napkins on the dessert table. “It seems sacrilegious.”

  She made a concerned face. “I don’t think so.” She stopped her napkin arranging to give him a sideways look. “We’ll cut around it.”

  A throat clearing from behind made them both jump. Matt turned to find Ollie, Danny’s ever-present best friend, standing there. In a suit, with his unruly shock of black hair combed and neat—he even shaved! And he wasn’t looking at Matt.

  “Oh hey, Elizabeth,” he said, casually awkward. “Can I help you with anything? With uh, the napkins or carrying something heavy? You look really incredible in that dress, by the way.”

  Elizabeth blinked up at him, mouth poised in an open little O. Ollie’s eyes were actual hearts. In his head, Matt heard a swell of cheesy violins, so he turned on his heel, heading for the table where Jim and Griffin sat.

  “I would like life to slow down just the tiniest bit,” he said as he collapsed into his seat.

  “Do I want to know?” Jim asked.

  “No, but Griffin is going to swoon dramatically.”

  HELENA AND Shane joined their table as Matt was explaining the actual love connection he just witnessed between Elizabeth and Ollie, a kid he hadn’t seen out of gym clothes or flannel shirts in fifteen years.

  “My God, you two look exhausted,” Griffin said, pushing the plate of cookies they’d been sharing toward them. “When did you get back?”

  Shane looked at his wrist, squinting as if his watch was there but he just couldn’t see it. “What time is it?”

  Griffin and Matt exchanged raised eyebrows.

  “It’s 2:40,” Jim said gently. “You should have just gone home from the airport.”

  “We couldn’t miss the christening.” Helena rubbed her temples. “I can’t keep doing this. They keep calling me, asking me when I’ll be back to work, and I just… I don’t know how to answer that.” Tears threatened in her voice as Shane reached over to rub her back.

  Matt flagged down Danny, who was across the room. He mouthed “drinks for Helena and your dad,” which sent the young man running.

  “What can we do?” Matt asked, drawing his chair closer. “Whatever you need.”

  “I… I need time to get Vic better and he and my mom up here. I have to find them a place to live they can afford. I need my job to understand. I need to be able to work on a plane at this point,” Helena spit out, grabbing a napkin to wipe her eyes. “I don’t mean to ruin this great day, I’m just worn the hell out.”

  Matt opened his mouth to say something, but someone kicked him under the table. He looked around for Evan but instead found Jim watching him intently. He got kicked again.

  “What?”

  An incredible smile broke out over Jim’s face, a smile Matt hadn’t seen in much too long.

  “Helena, what do you think about a change in careers?”

  It took Matt a second, but he pounded on the table when Jim’s meaning clicked into place.

  “That’s fucking genius.”

  “I know.”

  Griffin waved his hands between them. “Could you clue the rest of us in on your weird twin thing?”

  EVAN ARRIVED at the table with a double whiskey, as directed by Danny, just in time to find his husband and closest friends high-fiving each other like they’d just won the Super Bowl.

  “What’s going on?” he asked as he placed the glass in front of Helena—who was both laughing and tearstained at once.

  “Jim just solved everyone’s problems! I’m going to go work for Matt!” Helena got up, then threw her arms around Evan’s neck. “It’s perfect!”

  “One more attractive woman on staff and Matt’s got Charlie’s Angels bingo,” Griffin pointed out.

  “What’s Daisy up to?” Matt asked, looking around the room. “Does she need a job?”

  “THAT’S A nice thing you did,” Griffin said as they drove home from the shower. Caroline slept in the back seat, and Jim watched the world go by through the passenger side window.

  It felt like a metaphor at this point.

  “Made sense. Helena needed a flexible job. Matt needed someone who could just jump in and handle the job.
She’ll be great with clients.” Jim fiddled with the air-conditioning to give himself something to do. “Works out.”

  The quiet stretched out a second too long, and Jim waited for Griffin to say what he really wanted to.

  “I know how hard this is for you, to stop working.”

  “I don’t have a choice,” Jim said quietly. “I get that. Soon as I figure out how to spend my time, I’ll be fine. I’ve changed my life before and it all worked out. I can do it again.”

  He watched Griffin’s hands clutch at the steering wheel.

  “And until then, Caro and I are going to have the best damn summer. Georgia needs a vacation, you are behind schedule….”

  “Don’t remind me,” Griffin sighed.

  “So it’s me and her doing the relaxation thing together.”

  Griffin gave him a quick look. “You sure?”

  “You’re going to be jealous of how much fun we have.”

  11: Fatherhood 101

  JIM USED his recovery period—also known as house arrest when he was feeling annoyed—to consider his options.

  Without ceremony, he was retired. For the first time since the age of sixteen, James Shea had no job. It felt bizarre.

  It felt unnatural.

  He wallowed in that for a few days, in between long naps, pulling out his brave face whenever Griffin or Caroline came into the room. “I’m fine” became his go-to phrase, one that his husband let him get away with for seven full days.

  “You’re not fine,” Griffin said, cracking open the bedroom window after dropping Jim’s breakfast tray onto his lap. “You’re humoring me, and that needs to stop.”

  Jim scowled at his Melba toast, fruit salad, and oatmeal. They could at least make bacon-flavored bland food to ease the pain.

  “What would you like me to do? I’m stuck in bed, but when I get up?” He sighed. “I might as well just stay here.”

  Griffin sat down at the foot of the bed. “I get it. This is going to be a huge lifestyle shift for you. And I’m here to help,” he said tenderly, reaching out to squeeze Jim’s foot. “We’ll figure this out.”

  Jim shoved a spoon of oatmeal into his mouth to avoid the rest of the conversation.

  HIS FIRST foray out of the house since his trip to the hospital was Caroline’s soccer game. The sun felt incredible on his face, and he couldn’t miss the delight as he watched his little girl running across the field, hair flying and her face set in concentration.

  He cheered and clapped, cleverly avoiding conversation with other parents—that was Griffin’s job. When the Blossoms were victorious, he bought everyone ice cream, making himself a hero in one fell swoop.

  “You should come to all my games,” Caroline declared from the back seat as they drove home.

  Jim turned to watch her in the back seat, dirty and tired and beaming back at him, that perfect combination of Drake genes and the exact color of his own eyes and hair. “That’s a great idea, Caro.”

  AFTER HE solved Helena and Matt’s job issues at the christening, Jim felt a weight pulled off his shoulders in a way he didn’t expect. No one was disappointed in him; no one was let down. He woke up the next morning to his husband and his little girl and time spread out in front of him. Precious, precious time.

  Griffin and Shane’s play went into “workshopping,” which meant long hours and sleeping in the city, which meant Jim was free.

  “Free to do what?” Caroline asked as Jim put away their purchases from the farmers’ market.

  “Uh….” Was he talking out loud? Bad move. “Free for us to do whatever we want.” He stopped between the counter and the fridge, hands full of fresh corn. “You don’t have school, I don’t have to work anymore.” The pang had become just a blip. “We can do whatever we want.”

  Caroline’s eyes sparkled. She clasped her hands together as her face went into contemplation mode—a look that Jim felt was 110 percent Drake genetics. He’d seen that from Griffin for years, mostly right before he got Jim to do something he didn’t want to.

  “Can we go to a petting zoo? I want to pet a goat,” she said finally, a sweet smile blooming. “And feed a goat. And a cow. And a sheep.”

  The sheer volume of germs in a petting zoo made Jim recoil inside, but as with his husband, he was unable to withstand the big-eyed adorableness or sincerity of the request.

  “Let’s go to the petting zoo.”

  THEY FED goats and cows and a sheep. They admired a peacock and threw corn at some chickens. Caroline didn’t protest as Jim made her wash her hands a dozen or so times; she obediently followed his directions, then begged for “one more quarter!” and they did it all again.

  Jim actually didn’t mind the experience. Caroline glowed with happiness, and it was almost relaxing, having nothing to do but make his little girl squeal and point and clap. The sun felt warm on his shoulders, and Caroline’s hand in his was the definition of perfect.

  “We should get a goat for the house,” she said as they ate apple slices at a picnic table when he finally dragged her out. “That would be fun.”

  “Goats like to live at farms with other animals,” Jim said. “They like company.”

  Caroline contemplated this as she ate another apple. “How about a cow?”

  “Same thing.”

  “Hmm.” She tapped her finger to her chin. “What is an animal we could get for our house?”

  A hairless cat with a short life expectancy, Jim thought.

  Out loud, he said, “Why don’t we talk to Daddy when he gets home and figure it out.”

  “YOU WANT to what?” Griffin stood naked in their bedroom, shorts in one hand, gesturing with the other. “Do you have a fever?”

  “Caro and I were talking about it, and I don’t know, a pet could be good for her,” Jim said, setting the alarm for seven, then settling under the covers.

  “Are you a pod person now? Have I driven you insane?”

  Jim gave him his best sultry look. “Insane with lust. Why don’t you forget about the shorts?”

  “I figured you’d go out of your mind, but I thought it would take longer.”

  JIM AND Caroline were eating lunch at the patio table when Daisy and Sadie arrived. Daisy’s greeting was “Griffin said you’ve lost your mind.”

  “We’re getting a dog!” Caroline squealed, which made Sadie squeal, and then they both began clapping.

  “You have lost your mind.” Daisy sat down, removing her wide-brimmed hat. “Oh no, wait. You’re going to get a dog, Griffin’s going to go insane, then insist you go back to work. Jesus, that’s devious.”

  Jim placidly ate his chicken salad.

  “Her name is Lois Lane,” Caroline continued at high volume. “She’s a beagle and she’s two and she licked my face when we met.”

  Sadie gasped, clasping her hands against her chest.

  “A two-year-old beagle? That’s cruel,” Daisy said, shaking her head as she stole some of Jim’s grapes off his plate.

  He swallowed his last bite, then wiped his mouth with a napkin. “There is no devious plan. My daughter wants a pet.”

  “Pod. Person.”

  LOIS LANE gave Jim a regular schedule, something he didn’t explain to anyone. She needed to be walked, taken to obedience class, taken to the vet. In between, he took Caroline to soccer and dance. They ran household errands and went to the pool with Sadie when Daisy was in the city working. They explored every child’s theater, museum, and play area within forty miles. They went to the city. They visited baby Shelia and baby Nathaniel. They spent time with Caroline’s endless cousins.

  Georgia took so much vacation she ended up with a boyfriend.

  “Maybe we should homeschool Caro,” Jim said casually one night over an adults-only dinner.

  Griffin dropped his fork right into a plate of chicken cordon bleu. “Who are you?”

  Jim felt Lois Lane breathing heavily against his leg. He knew if he looked down he’d be faced with pleading brown eyes. “You told me to find somethi
ng to do. So that’s what I did.” He snuck Lois a tiny bit of chicken, which she gratefully ate out of his hand. Then licked his entire hand to make sure she’d got it all.

  His husband’s expression went from confused to adoring in a split second.

  “Being the best dad in the world is the perfect job for you.”

  JIM DIDN’T win the homeschooling fight. Caroline started school in a new dress and shoes, picked out by her fathers, and ran into the elementary school with a backward wave. He waited until she disappeared with the other students, then drove home slowly.

  Lois Lane looked the way he felt—bereft.

  So they went for a gentle jog around the neighborhood, Jim focused on each footfall against the pavement, the beagle trotting at his side. When he got back to the house, he found a slew of cars that weren’t there before.

  “Uncle Jim! We’re here to visit you!” Elizabeth called when he came in through his front door.

  “It’s a work field trip.” Helena and Matt were at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and picking off a platter of fruit and vegetables the size of Rhode Island. “Griffin said we could come bother you.”

  “On Caroline’s first day back to school?” Jim filled Lois Lane’s water bowl.

  Matt put his hand to his chest in “shock” and “surprise.”

  “That’s today?” Helena asked, eyes wide. Jim realized they were all wearing matching T-shirts that said Haight Security Worldwide, and swallowed a barking laugh.

  “You’re the most fu… freaking ridiculous people I know.”

  Elizabeth bounced over to him, giving him a tight hug. “We’re going to make sure you’re not sad. Also Matt has a question about the Vericas Casino bid.”