All You Desire

by Kirsten Miller

  “Pretty fancy for a kidnapper’s hideout,” the girl remarked. “You sure this is the right place?”

  “You think I’ve lost it, don’t you?” Haven asked.

  “I think you waste too much time trying to read people’s minds,” Leah said.

  A doorman greeted the pair in the building’s lobby. He wore a simple gray suit with white piping. As dull as the uniform might have been, it was by far the most memorable thing about the man. Haven smiled, hoping a little charm could convince him to let them upstairs without being announced. He didn’t smile back.

  “Good evening, Miss Moore,” the man droned. “May I help you?”

  Haven winced. “How do you know my name?”

  “I work for the Ouroboros Society, Miss Moore.”

  “Oh,” Haven said, trying to decide if it was good or bad news. “Well, we’re here to see Owen Bell.”

  “Mr. Bell isn’t in at the moment. He left over an hour ago with Mr. Elliot. Would you like to wait upstairs in the penthouse for him?”

  “You’ll let us into Owen’s apartment?” Haven asked warily.

  “The penthouse belongs to the Ouroboros Society, Miss Moore. You’ve been granted unrestricted access. You may go wherever you like.”

  “Thank you,” Haven replied, but as they made their way to the elevator, she couldn’t stop checking over her shoulder to see if the doorman had changed his mind. Each time she looked, she found him in the same position, standing motionless in the lobby like a giant tin soldier.

  “I’m really sorry if this turns out to be some sort of trap,” Haven told Leah as soon as they were alone in the elevator.

  “We’re gonna be fine,” Leah stated.

  “You act like you just know these things,” Haven said with a touch of annoyance.

  “Maybe I do.”

  Before Haven could ask how, the elevator doors opened directly into Owen’s penthouse.

  “Not bad,” Leah said as they stepped into the dark apartment. “We must be inside the cupola.”

  The massive windows that circled the room gave the impression that there weren’t any walls. They could see the whole city. It was as if they were inside a bubble floating over Manhattan. One that might burst at any minute and send them plummeting down to earth. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, Haven could make out the shapes of three modern chairs stationed around a coffee table, and a staircase that led to another floor. The living room was oddly empty, as though Owen didn’t expect to stay for long. She could see no sign of Beau.

  “You check around down here,” Haven whispered. “I’m going up to the second floor.”

  She quietly made her way upstairs in the darkness. When she reached the top, she didn’t need to turn on the lights to know there was nothing to see. Just a small chamber with an unmade bed. Stacks of books lined the walls. Haven got down on her knees and lifted the bedcovers, intending to have a peek under the box spring. She jerked her hand away and fell back on her butt. The sheets were still warm.

  She scrambled to her feet and spun around. To her left was a closet, its door slightly ajar. The room on the right was the bathroom. She could see a sliver of white tiles. She lunged to the left and pushed the closet door open. Perfectly pressed suits were lined up in a row. There was nowhere to hide. She turned to face the bathroom. There had to be someone inside.

  “Beau?” she whispered. “Are you in there? It’s me!”

  There was no answer. Haven gripped the doorknob. Then, with one quick twist of her wrist, she flung open the door. A bright light blinded her, and she stumbled backward. Then a thick arm caught her in a headlock.

  “Who the hell are you?” Owen Bell growled. “What do you want?”

  “Where is he?” Haven tried to demand, but only a few garbled sounds escaped from her throat.

  The arm released her, and Haven fell to the floor with the bottom of her red dress puddled around her. She could hear Leah bounding up the stairs.

  “Haven!” the girl yelled. “You okay?”

  “Haven?” Owen asked. He was holding a shaving mirror in one hand. Its light cast a bright circle on the floor. “What’s going on here? What are you doing? I could have hurt you just now!”

  “Where is he?” Haven demanded once more, massaging her throat.

  “Who?” Owen asked, turning on the overhead lights. He was wearing a pair of striped pajamas. The elevator’s arrival must have woken him.

  “Beau Decker! The guy you kidnapped. Where have you got him?”

  Owen shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Haven. You’re welcome to search the premises, but I swear I’m not hiding anyone. Would you mind telling me who this Beau is?”

  “He’s a friend of ours. I’m Leah Frizzell, by the way.” The girl reached out for Owen’s hand and shook it with enthusiasm. “Nice to meet you. I love your house.”

  “Owen Bell,” he replied, looking even more confused than Haven felt. “What makes you two think I kidnapped your friend?”

  “Beau flew up to the city from Tennessee to meet his soul mate,” Leah explained before Haven had a chance to speak. “Some guy who called himself Roy Bradford got in touch with him online. He claimed they’d known each other in another life. Fourteenth-century Florence, I think. The guy supposedly gave details that proved it. But Beau disappeared the day he got to New York, and Roy Bradford doesn’t seem to exist.”

  Owen froze. “Did you say Florence?”

  “Oh, come on! Don’t play dumb!” Haven snarled, stomping her foot with frustration. “The kidnapper said that his name back then was Naddo. Beau’s name was Piero. I know you were Naddo, Owen. You have the same gift that he did. I just figured it out tonight. You can put the right words into other people’s mouths.”

  “Do you mind if I sit down for a moment?” Owen mumbled. “I wasn’t sure if it was real. I thought she might have drugged me.”

  “Who?” Haven asked.

  “Phoebe. They call her the Pythia. She helps people see their past lives.”

  “I know all about the Pythia,” Haven said. “You’ve met her?”

  “Calum introduced us. We had a private session. She threw a bunch of plants on a fire and announced she was going to take me back in time. As soon as I inhaled the smoke, I saw something I’d never seen before. There was someone I loved. A beautiful blond boy who lived in a palazzo. The vision was incredibly vivid. I was sure the plants had made me hallucinate.”

  “Did you tell the Pythia what you saw?”

  “No. She didn’t seem interested,” Owen said. “You’re saying that it was real?”

  “Yes,” Haven confirmed with a sigh. Owen was far too astonished to be anything other than innocent. Haven could feel disappointment welling up inside her. “It was real.”

  “And this person you know. Beau. He’s the one I loved?”

  “Yes. He’s my best friend,” Haven said.

  Owen grabbed a notebook off the bedside table and scribbled something. He handed the note to Haven with one finger pressed to his lips.

  THE APARTMENT MAY BE BUGGED. PLAY ALONG AND FOLLOW ME.

  Maybe she hadn’t reached another dead end, Haven began to hope. Maybe Owen Bell knew something after all.

  “Have you asked Adam for help?” he inquired.

  “He has the police looking for Beau.”

  “Well, I wish you the best,” Owen said, twirling a finger as if to say, Wrap it up. “If anyone can find Beau, Adam can.”

  “Thanks, Owen,” Haven said. “I’m really sorry for barging in here like this. We’ll let you get back to sleep.”

  “No problem. I’ll show you out.” He guided Haven and Leah downstairs to the front door. “It was nice to meet you, Leah. Haven, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

  Owen stepped out into the hallway. There, he gestured for his guests to stay close behind him as he headed for the fire stairs.

  Inside the stairwell, a motion-sensor switched on the lights. Owen leaned over the railing and check
ed to make sure that there was no one above or below them.

  “Sorry about all of this,” he said. “But I prefer my conversations stay private.”

  “Is your apartment really bugged?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe I’m paranoid, but sometimes I get the feeling that the doormen keep tabs on me.”

  “Then the one downstairs doesn’t do a very good job,” Leah said. “He told us you weren’t home.”

  Owen grinned. “I do what I can to keep him guessing. Back when this building was still the police headquarters, some big shot built an underground passage that leads from the basement to the bar across the street. I keep expecting the doormen to catch on that I use it, but apparently they don’t know I’m a history buff.”

  “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with us,” Haven said.

  “You know, it’s strange, but I have a feeling it is,” Owen said. “That’s why I’m going to do something crazy and share an even bigger secret with you. One that could get me in a lot of trouble. Have Calum or Alex told you how I was invited to join the Society?”

  “No,” Haven said.

  “My parents refused to pay for college unless I agreed to seek treatment for my unfortunate condition. So I borrowed a little money from my favorite aunt and came to New York to volunteer for my first political campaign. Late one night, I was sweeping up at the headquarters when I heard the chimes above the door ring. I was sure I’d locked it, so I ran out to see if we were being robbed. There was a man in the waiting area. He was young. Good-looking. Not terribly frightening. He asked if I was Owen Bell, and he said he’d been looking for me.”

  “It was Adam, wasn’t it?” Leah asked.

  “Yes, it was. He told me he’d been following my ‘career,’ which didn’t make any sense since I’d just graduated from high school. Then he asked me if I knew why I could write stirring speeches or help people win debates. Why the perfect words always seemed to pop into my head. Before I could answer, he asked another question. He asked what I knew about reincarnation.”

  “I bet that got you thinking,” Leah said with a snort.

  “It did. I’ve had strange dreams since I was a kid. Nightmares, really. I’ve seen myself murdered. Beaten by people I’ve never met in this life. Kicked out of towns I’ve never set foot in. All because I was gay. Adam told me they weren’t just dreams—they were memories. Things that had happened to me in previous lives. And he told me there were other people like me at the Ouroboros Society.

  “Adam said I’d developed my gift for words as a way of defending myself. But with his help, I could use it to make the world a better place. At that point, I’d never even heard of the OS. Then Adam rattled off a list of the Society’s members. That’s when I knew I had to take him seriously.

  “So I signed up with the Society. Calum tried to hit on me the very first day. Then Alex. She was the one who ended up convincing me that the OS really did need my help. There was drug dealing and prostitution—and members disappeared all the time. I started working with Adam to put an end to it all. He really seemed to value my opinion. Then one day Calum dragged me to visit the Pythia.”

  Owen took a deep breath. “What I told you back in the apartment was one hundred percent true. But I left something out. I saw Piero in my vision, but I also saw Adam. That’s why I thought I’d been hallucinating. He looked exactly the same as he does today. Exactly. In my vision Adam was a powerful businessman who’d moved to Florence from Genoa. The city’s leaders were certain he was planning to overthrow them. They were terrified of Adam. Some even claimed that he’d brought the black death to Italy. But I have no idea if Adam ever had his showdown with the leaders. Word got out that Piero and I were gay. My employer was one of the men who ran Florence. He had a few secrets of his own, and he couldn’t afford a scandal—especially when the whole city was searching for a scapegoat. So he had us both assassinated.”

  “You saw all that?” Haven asked. “In one session with the Pythia?” Why had Phoebe made her wait so long?

  “Yeah,” Owen said. “I felt nauseous for about a week afterward. I don’t think that smoke can be very good for you. So you’re saying all of that really happened?”

  “Yes,” Haven said.

  “Adam hasn’t aged in seven hundred years?” When Haven shook her head, Owen paused to let the information sink in. “What is he? I’ve heard rumors, of course, but—”

  “I have no idea,” Haven admitted. “But he’s been around for thousands of years. I’ve known him in other lives. Adam told me that he’s met you before too.”

  The last sentence was barely out of her mouth when its full meaning slammed into her. Adam had been aware of Owen’s gift before they spoke at the campaign office. Adam had mentioned to Haven that he’d known Owen in other lives. Haven knew from her last vision that Adam had met Naddo—and that he knew of Naddo’s gift for words. Adam must have been aware all along that Naddo and Owen shared the very same soul.

  A new horror began to creep over her. The man who had called himself Roy Bradford had known things that Haven assumed only Naddo could know. Maybe Adam had known them too.

  “Alex told me you and Adam were a couple. Is it true?” Haven barely heard Owen’s question, and it took her a moment to snap out of her trance.

  “I’m only in New York to find Beau,” she insisted. “By the way, did you ever tell Adam about your vision?”

  “No, I couldn’t trust him again after I visited the Pythia. In fact, I might have quit the OS if I hadn’t met Milo. He’s the reason I stayed. The kid scares the hell out of me.”

  Haven was thrown by the sudden shift in topic. “Why? He’s just a robot.”

  “That’s what Calum says because that’s what Calum wants to believe. Milo’s more like a puppet. The perfect puppet. Do you know how many points we raised at the fund-raiser the other night? Fifty thousand. I can’t even tell you what that’s worth in dollars. Millions. Many millions. People look at Milo, and somehow they see whatever they want to see. If he’d given a speech that urged them to donate points so that every kid in the U.S. could have his own Uzi, they’d have emptied their accounts just the same.”

  “Then it’s a good thing Milo doesn’t write his own speeches,” Haven said.

  “He can’t. Milo’s never had an idea of his own. But he’s still convinced he’s the chosen one. The speech I wrote for the fund-raiser was meant to say that the kids at Halcyon Hall thought it was their duty to lead the world. Milo changed it to destiny.”

  “Destiny?” The word seemed to mean something to Leah. “What’s this Milo guy look like?”

  “Like a Ken doll—blond and bland. But believe me, he’s anything but harmless. I’m sticking around to make sure that someone plants the right ideas in Milo’s empty little head—because otherwise we could all be in for a lot of trouble.” Owen stopped himself. “I’m sorry. I’m venting. I know you didn’t come here to talk about Milo. Is there anything else I can tell you that might help your friend Beau?”

  “There is one more question I need to ask,” Haven said. “You told us Naddo and Piero were murdered by the man you worked for in Florence. Adam didn’t have anything to do with it?”

  “I don’t think so. At least I didn’t think so back then. The only person in Florence who knew we were gay was Piero’s little sister. I was pretty sure she was the one who let the secret slip.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  “Just because Owen Bell believes it doesn’t mean it’s true,” Leah said. “Haven Moore? You listening to me? He’s a nice guy and all, but seeing pieces of the past is just like seeing parts of the future. One little part can’t tell a whole story.”

  They had used the tunnel beneath Owen’s building to evade Adam’s gray men, and Leah had wrangled an off-duty cab like a native. Now they were traveling north along the river. Haven let her forehead rest against the window and watched the city race by, too distraught to cry. She’d had many lows over the years, but she’d never experi
enced anything quite like the soul-crushing sorrow she felt at that moment.

  “It is true, Leah. I remember telling Adam that Piero and Naddo were gay. Who knows, maybe Beatrice told other people too. So there’s no escaping the truth this time. I was the reason they died.”

  “Haven, it had to be a mistake. You would never—”

  “Look, Leah, if you’d been at the Ouroboros Society tonight, you’d spare me the damn pep talk. This had already been the worst day of my life. Finding out I killed Piero and Naddo was just a bonus.”

  “What happened at the OS?” Leah asked.

  Haven wasn’t sure she had the strength left to relive the memory. “Iain showed up at the party while I was there with Adam. He told everyone there who Adam really is. And then he stabbed him.”

  “He did what?”

  “He stabbed Adam with a piece of glass, but there wasn’t any blood. Iain wanted the members to see that Adam isn’t human. I guess he thought it would make a difference to them.”

  “And did it?”

  “Are you kidding? They would have ripped Iain apart if Padma Singh hadn’t shown up and saved his ass by threatening to expose them all.”

  “So Iain’s okay?”

  “Thanks to Padma.” Haven sighed. “Then I figured out that Owen and Naddo were the same person—the one I’ve been trying to see in my visions. And it turns out I’ve been wasting my time. Owen’s not the person who lured Beau to New York. It must have been Adam. He set a trap, and I walked right into it. Now I’ve lost Beau. I’ve lost Iain. I’ve lost everything.”

  “Is that what you really believe? That Adam’s behind all this?”

  “There’s no other explanation!”

  “That you’ve found,” Leah said. “You’re thinking too hard. Stop for a second and listen to your heart.”