The Bull Rider's Fresh Start

by Heidi McCahan

  Chapter Four

  What had she done?

  Rooted to Landon’s porch swing, Kelsey drained the last of the coffee in the insulated mug. Two birds soared over the empty dirt road. She was feeling uncomfortably warm, but Adeline slept so peacefully in her arms, she didn’t want to move. Landon had driven away a while ago, his truck tires kicking up a cloud of dust in his wake. The reality of their agreement tugged at her, like an anchor weighing her down.

  In the navy, she’d helped recover submerged aircraft and inspected damaged hulls in the darkest depths of the ocean. Spending a couple of weeks in Merritt’s Crossing couldn’t be that difficult. Especially if Landon’s family sweetened the deal with a house for her and Adeline. They needed their own space. Scratch that, she needed her own space. Landon’s gorgeous eyes and that megawatt smile proved to be her kryptonite. How had he talked her into changing her plans?

  Already exhausted from the mental tug-of-war raging inside her head, she sighed and pushed to her feet. Second-guessing her choices was unproductive, yet the uncertainty camped out in her gut made her legs itch with the urge to run all the way to her parents’ place in Wyoming. Except Landon’s words echoing in her head about giving Adeline stability grounded her, like a plane prohibited from flying.

  As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. Besides, he’d had less than twenty-four hours to adjust to the news that he was Adeline’s father. Staying close by and giving them both the opportunity to work out a coparenting plan was the best option for her baby. Plus, she couldn’t help but feel that Landon’s kindness and pragmatic approach to meeting Adeline’s needs had to be a cover-up. And Kelsey wouldn’t rest until she exposed his ulterior motives.

  She headed inside, leaving the mug and the remnants of her breakfast to come back and grab later. Cradling Adeline gently in the crook of her arm, she closed the heavy front door quietly. The hum of a window AC unit greeted her. An oscillating fan sat on the floor in the living room, twisting back and forth. Kelsey welcomed the air as it skimmed her face. Had Landon turned on the fan when he’d dropped by earlier? She didn’t like the thought of him being in the house while she slept, but it was his house. And he’d graciously let her stay the night with Adeline and had taken care of their daughter before he even knew she was his, so obviously he wasn’t a total monster.

  Maybe she had to cut him a little slack. He hadn’t gone ballistic, and he’d made sure she had coffee, breakfast and a place to live.

  Stay vigilant. Don’t let him worm his way into your good graces.

  Adeline stirred in her arms, snapping Kelsey out of her pep talk. She stared at her baby girl. Oh, her heart. She didn’t know it had the capacity to expand with just one look at her daughter. Adeline’s eyes fluttered open, and her brow furrowed as she focused on Kelsey’s face. Landon and his grand gestures would have to be analyzed some other time. She’d been given precious moments alone with Adeline, and she didn’t want to waste another minute worrying about Landon.

  “Hey, sweet pea,” Kelsey cooed. “Did you have a good nap?”

  Adeline’s expression crumpled, then her skin flushed pink and she started to cry.

  Oh no. She hadn’t expected the crying. When her family sent her pictures, Adeline almost always looked happy. Content. In all Kelsey’s daydreams about her reunion with her daughter, somehow she’d only imagined bubbly baby giggles and heartwarming snuggles.

  So far, their time together had been exactly the opposite. Instead, whenever Adeline saw Kelsey, she cried. More sweat dampened Kelsey’s skin, and she tamped down the panic clawing at her insides.

  Think. C’mon, think. She hummed a lullaby and swayed awkwardly side to side, already feeling ridiculous. Good thing Landon wasn’t here, because he’d probably laugh. Adeline cried louder, her chubby fist clenching.

  “Hang on, sweet girl. I’m out of practice.” Kelsey strode down the hall toward the bedroom.

  A pacifier sat abandoned in the corner of the portable crib. Kelsey snagged it then touched it to Adeline’s mouth. She screamed and thrust her head to the side.

  All righty then.

  Kelsey grabbed the backpack from the floor, then shoved the rumpled blankets aside and gently placed Adeline in the center of the bed. Landon might’ve come up with the perfect changing station in the corner, but there was no way she’d put Adeline up on the dresser.

  Thankfully the bag had everything she needed. As soon as the package of wipes crinkled in Kelsey’s hand, Adeline twisted out of her grasp. Pathetic tears slid from the corners of her eyes.

  “Adeline, it’s okay.” Kelsey tried to stay calm, but the squirming and the crying tested her patience. Why was this so hard? Shouldn’t a mother be able to change her baby’s diaper without an epic meltdown?

  A few agonizing minutes later, hot tears burned her eyelids, but she’d managed to treat Adeline’s rash and get her into a clean diaper. Kelsey scooped her up, planted a kiss on her damp cheek, then carried her into the kitchen.

  Adeline slurped on her thumb while Kelsey surveyed the groceries on the counter. Landon had mentioned notes from her mother. Where did he leave those? The jars of baby food, rice cereal and cans of formula overwhelmed her. She might be Adeline’s mother, but she had no idea how to feed a baby anything other than a bottle.

  The options were limited. Call Landon or call her mother. Adeline bounced up and down in Kelsey’s arms and fussed.

  “Are you hungry?” Kelsey turned in a circle, trying to remember where she’d left her phone.

  While getting home to Adeline had consumed her thoughts since she’d left the base, the news about her stepfather had struck her like a curveball she never saw coming. Her mother’s decision to keep his challenges a secret shredded her. Which was ironic, considering the secret she’d carried for eighteen months. But her reasons made sense. Landon had basically left her with a lame excuse scratched on a notepad, and her own stepbrother had supplied plenty of wild stories about Landon’s addiction-fueled antics.

  Her mother didn’t need to hide her stepfather’s health problems. Kelsey was a strong, independent woman, capable of carrying heavy burdens. Why hadn’t they told her? And when was the memorial service for Wade and Maggie? She’d hoped to put off calling until she wasn’t so wound up. Or still reeling from their lie of omission.

  But Adeline wasn’t going to put up with her indecisiveness much longer. And Kelsey wasn’t willing to risk making any more mistakes. She heaved a sigh and trudged back to her bedroom, plucked her phone from the nightstand and scrolled to her mother’s number. She might be upset with her mother’s choices, and she really hated asking for help, but she would set her feelings aside if it meant finding out how to feed her baby properly.

  * * *

  Landon eased his truck into a parking spot near Tomlinson’s Furniture in downtown Merritt’s Crossing and turned off the ignition. He’d picked up the part for the combine at the store like his father had asked him to, and he needed to grab lunch and get back to the farm soon. But first he needed to stop in the furniture store and buy a crib for Adeline.

  “I’m buying a crib,” he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. “For my daughter.” He still hadn’t quite wrapped his brain around all the ways Kelsey’s arrival and her confession had turned his world upside down.

  His sister Laramie’s best friend Skye owned her family’s furniture store. Her husband, Gage, helped out some, too. They probably had a new crib in stock. And if they were sold out, maybe they knew of one he’d be able to borrow. Between their family plus Jack and Laramie’s twins, there had to be at least one extra crib somewhere. Adeline didn’t seem to mind the portable crib he’d brought with her from the ranch, but he wanted her to have something more permanent.

  He gripped the door handle and hesitated before getting out of the truck. As soon as he asked Skye and Gage about a crib, they’d want to know why. Nothing stayed a secre
t in Merritt’s Crossing for long, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to spread the news that the baby in his house belonged to him.

  Adeline’s mother showing up unexpectedly on his doorstep, reminding him of the sins of his past, only added more fuel to the fire of guilt raging inside. Gage and Skye were no strangers to the notion of caring for a baby who needed a home. That was exactly how Connor had become a part of their family. They wouldn’t judge him. And Landon had at least a dozen questions to ask them about the legal issues surrounding Adeline’s arrival, Kelsey’s commitment to the military and his rights as the biological father. Not that Gage and Skye handed out legal advice with their furniture sales. Gage had served in the navy, and Connor’s adoption had included some complicated layers, based on what Landon had heard from Laramie. Despite his convoluted feelings, he’d come to the right place.

  “Lord, I need help. Again.” Pausing to pray before he barreled ahead had saved him some heartache over the last several months. His addiction had infused him with a false sense of confidence. He’d said and done so many things he regretted while he was high on pills. He squeezed his eyes shut to block the familiar wave of shame. While undoing his past mistakes wasn’t an option, he wanted to make wise choices for his future. Especially with Adeline. And Kelsey, too. He hated that his careless behavior had made her feel like she had no other option than to keep their daughter a secret from him.

  “Enough with the stalling, Chambers,” he grumbled under his breath. He’d made so many mistakes and fallen so far off his pedestal that he should be well past worrying what people thought or said about him. Besides, he’d taken Adeline to church and let her stay in the nursery yesterday, so that probably launched the gossip train out of the station. He could handle the curious stares. Even a little whispering behind hands didn’t bother him.

  But Kelsey wasn’t from here. She hadn’t signed up for that kind of scrutiny. Despite his anger and confusion over her keeping Adeline a secret, he cared about her. If she was going to be in town even for a little while, he felt compelled to protect her. To shield her.

  Cars and trucks cruised by on Main Street as he strode down the sidewalk toward the furniture store. Red, white and blue bunting draped the storefronts while the American flags mounted on the streetlight poles snapped in the warm breeze. The Fourth of July celebrations had ended, but the decorations remained, a tribute to Merritt’s Crossing’s patriotism.

  Landon waved to a friend of his dad’s headed into the pharmacy. Most folks he’d passed wore the same focused expressions. With a long stretch of warm weather in the forecast, farmers and their families, along with the hired help, were gearing up for harvesting wheat.

  He quickened his steps. All the more reason to buy a crib for Adeline then get back to the farm with that part for the combine. Dad had a lengthy to-do list to knock out, and Landon had promised he’d help.

  Bells jingled as he opened the door to the furniture store and stepped inside. A floral scent enveloped him, probably from the giant candle flickering on the table nearby.

  “I’ll be with you in a minute.” Skye’s muffled voice filtered toward him from the office.

  “No problem,” he called out then worked his way across the showroom to the section where Skye had arranged a nursery and a kid’s bedroom.

  The bunk beds stacked against the wall with matching blue and red plaid comforters, coupled with the red wire bin filled with a stuffed basketball, soccer ball and football, and pendants on the wall featuring some of Colorado’s favorite sports teams made Landon smile. Skye sure knew how to stage a kid’s room. A denim beanbag, a rainbow-colored stack of wooden blocks and a few books filled the corner next to the beds.

  Landon turned in a slow circle. The nursery furniture nearly took him to his knees. The crib, dresser and rocking chair were all painted white. He’d never seen so much pink and gray stuff in one room. The sheets in the crib, the stuffed animals on the chair, even the letters mounted on the wall above the changing table all had the same pink and gray pattern.

  And elephants. He’d never associated elephants with nursery decor, but Skye made it all look perfect. If this was the standard for Adeline’s room, he had a lot of work to do. Not to mention money to invest.

  His stomach twisted at the thought. He already had a significant debt to pay off. Now he’d need to focus on saving for Adeline, too.

  “Landon?”

  He turned at the sound of Skye’s voice.

  She smiled and strode toward him. “I thought that was you. What brings you by?”

  “I need a crib.” Landon palmed the back of his neck. “Today, if possible.”

  Surprise flashed in her blue eyes. “Really.”

  “Laramie didn’t tell you?”

  Skye shook her head. “Gage and I were out of town for a few days, so I haven’t talked to her since we got home. What’s up?”

  Landon pushed out a long breath. “Long story short, I became the guardian for my friend Wade’s baby girl when he and his wife passed away unexpectedly.”

  Skye gasped.

  “Oh, wait.” He held up his hand. “It gets even more exciting. Last night, a woman I’d met at Wade’s wedding showed up at the house claiming the baby was hers. And mine.” Warmth heated his skin. Skye had been his sister’s best friend for as long as he could remember. His mistakes and shortcomings were no secret. Still, admitting that his reckless decisions had impacted other people stung. No matter how many times the truth smacked him in the face.

  Skye’s expression filled with empathy. “That’s a lot to process all at once, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” He resisted the temptation to blast her with a truckload of questions. She and Gage had shared caregiving responsibilities for Connor, the little boy they eventually adopted. From what he’d heard, that process hadn’t been all rainbows and unicorns. Yet they’d worked it out and ended up falling in love and getting married.

  Not that he wanted to marry Kelsey. At all. She’d never trust him, much less settle down here. They had completely different goals. But they did need to figure out how to care for Adeline without choking each other.

  “You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” Skye said. “Want me to pick out a crib and have Gage deliver it?”

  He wanted to hug her. “That would be awesome.”

  “I’m not sure I have anything in stock.” She walked toward the front of the store. “Let me check. We can add rush delivery, but it still might take seven to ten days.”

  “Seven to ten days?” He trailed after her, his voice lifting in shock.

  “Sorry.” She glanced over her shoulder and scrunched her nose. “That’s probably not what you wanted to hear.”

  Landon propped his hip against a sectional sofa displayed in the middle of the showroom and weighed his options. He didn’t have a strong opinion where Adeline slept. As long as she slept. And wasn’t in any danger. Since Kelsey had balked at his modified changing station, he figured she’d want Adeline to have a crib. Going back to the house without making arrangements for one seemed like yet another reason for him and Kelsey to argue. And he’d like to avoid more confrontation if possible.

  Skye’s manicured nails clacked over her laptop’s keys. “What’s your daughter’s name?”

  “Adeline.”

  “Beautiful.” She glanced up at him. “Where’s she sleeping now?”

  “In one of those portable things. I brought it from her grandmother’s house. That’s the only thing that would fit in my truck along with all the other baby stuff.”

  Skye laughed. “Babies require a lot of stuff.”

  “You’re telling me.”

  “So you’d like to have this delivered to the farmhouse?”

  “Actually, no. It needs to go to Laramie’s place. Adeline’s going to stay there with her mother.”

  Skye’s eyes widened. “Does Laramie
know?”

  He nodded. “She gave me permission.”

  “I wasn’t implying that you needed permission.” Skye reached for her phone. “Let me double-check, but I’m almost positive there’s already a crib in one of the bedrooms. She ended up with two, but the twins shared one, and she needed someplace to store the extra. I’ll text her real quick.”

  While Skye pecked out a message, Landon mentally pieced together the puzzle. His nieces, Macey and Charlotte, were three now and had graduated to big-girl beds. He’d heard all about it the last time he visited. If there was something available for Adeline to sleep in, then he didn’t need to worry about buying a crib. Unless he and Kelsey planned to iron out a temporary custody agreement where Adeline spent a few nights a week with him.

  Drat. Another scenario where he and Kelsey probably wouldn’t see eye to eye. But he was Adeline’s father. He needed to be available. He wanted to be available. And it wasn’t fair to expect Kelsey to handle a majority of the parenting, even though that was probably her preference.

  He was no longer a competitive bull rider or the impulsive, irresponsible groomsman Kelsey had met at Wade’s wedding. He’d prove he had changed. He’d prove to Kelsey—and himself—that he could be a reliable, trustworthy dad.

  * * *

  Gravel crunched under tires and engines rumbled outside, pulling Kelsey toward the living room window in Landon’s farmhouse. Adeline squealed and maneuvered across the floor on her belly, an adorable little inchworm with elbows. Kelsey chuckled and stopped to admire her baby girl. Again. Since her phone call to her mother went straight to voice mail, Kelsey had fumbled her way through feeding Adeline baby food for the first time. It wasn’t as terrifying as she’d thought.

  Then they’d spent the last hour camped out in the middle of the living room floor, examining every single thing Adeline managed to reach or grab. Mostly, Kelsey loved draping one of her T-shirts on Adeline’s head then gently tugging it off and savoring the delicious sound of Adeline’s belly laugh. It was an entertaining game, one that kept Adeline from crying, so Kelsey would keep playing until they were both worn out. Anything to keep her little one content.