The Bull Rider's Fresh Start

by Heidi McCahan

  She shook her head, extracted the owner’s manual for the video monitor and spread it on the counter. He smothered a laugh then glanced around his sister’s kitchen, which felt decidedly different now that Kelsey had moved in. While Laramie preferred a lot of homey touches and made her space quite feminine, Kelsey had gone for the minimalist look. Probably because she didn’t have much, but even if she had moved in with all her own possessions, she struck him as an a-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place kind of woman.

  The sound of Adeline crying, muffled behind the closed bedroom door, caught his attention. “Want me to get her?”

  “Wait.”

  He hesitated. Oh no. He’d only been here a few minutes. How had he messed up already?

  Uncertainty lingered in her expression as her eyes met his. “I—I owe you an apology.”

  Huh. She was full of surprises today. “Go on.”

  “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday at the park. Keeping Adeline from getting sunburned is important, but I should never have said those terrible things to you.”

  Landon swallowed hard. “Apology accepted.”

  She fidgeted with the paper on the counter, dog-earing a corner of the manual, then looked away. “Thank you.”

  “You’re a great mom, Kelsey. Adeline is blessed to have such a loyal and devoted parent.”

  Her chin wobbled, and he braced against the door frame, shocked by her emotional reaction. Had no one ever complimented her parenting before?

  Adeline cried louder.

  “I’m trying,” she whispered finally, then tipped her chin up and cleared her throat. “You’d better go get her.”

  “Sure thing.” He moved toward her, set his glass on the counter, then pumped his fist in the air as he walked quickly down the short hallway. A genuine smile, a glass of water and an apology. Now she was going to let him hold his own child. Man, he was batting a thousand today.

  He pushed open the door. “Hey, pretty girl.”

  Adeline sat in her crib, fat, pitiful tears sliding down her flushed cheeks. When she saw Landon through the crib rails, she stopped crying and offered him a slobbery, toothy grin.

  He melted faster than an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. She had him wrapped around her chubby little finger already.

  “What’s going on, pumpkin?” He crossed the small bedroom then reached into the crib and picked Adeline up.

  “Da, da, da,” she cooed.

  He couldn’t move. Could barely breathe. He didn’t want to do anything to ruin the moment. Was she about to say dad? Nah, couldn’t be. Probably a coincidence. He couldn’t resist coaxing her to say more, though.

  “Adeline, can you say daddy?”

  Her blue eyes widened as she studied him. Then she grabbed a fistful of his T-shirt in her hand and screeched. Right in his ear.

  “Wow, you’re a mess. We’d better get you cleaned up.”

  While he wasn’t a fan of the slobber she was plastering on his shirt with her hand, the soggy state of her diaper and the back of her onesie seemed like a bigger problem. That and the fact she’d almost said daddy—probably before she’d said mommy. He had a feeling Kelsey would’ve gleefully reported that news the second he walked in the door.

  “Girlfriend, I don’t know a whole lot about diapers, but I’d say you’ve sprung a leak.”

  He scanned the room, looking for clean diapers and wipes. “Somebody really hooked you up, didn’t they? Look at this. You’ve got a dresser for your clothes and a nice crib to sleep in. And check this out—someone even brought you a pink elephant. I didn’t know elephants were pink.”

  He plucked the squishy stuffed animal from the top of the dresser then tapped it gently against her tummy. Adeline’s bubbly laugh was just about the best sound he’d ever heard. Chuckling, he pulled the stuffed animal out of her reach, then slowly brought it back until she shrieked with delight.

  “What does an elephant say? Do you know?”

  Adeline squeezed the elephant with both hands then shoved one of its floppy ears in her mouth.

  Boy, if his buddies from the bull riding circuit could see him now, they’d be doubled over with laughter. But he didn’t care, because he’d do anything to make his baby girl happy.

  Her enthusiasm over the elephant didn’t buy him much time. She quickly dropped the toy and made a game of twisting out of Landon’s grasp. After a few failed attempts and more than a little struggling, he finally got her diaper changed, and he even managed to put on a clean white onesie and a gray pair of pants. This outfit probably wasn’t Kelsey approved, but he’d risk another critical glance rather than try to change Adeline again. At least he was helping. That should count for something.

  Holding Adeline carefully in his arms, he walked back out to the kitchen. The aroma of something delicious baking made his mouth water.

  “This casserole is huge.” Kelsey gestured toward the oven with her thumb. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

  Yes. No. “Sure, why not?”

  Accepting her invitation meant a home-cooked meal and more time with Adeline. A win-win. But spending an evening with Kelsey was dicey and only reminded him of what he couldn’t have—Adeline and Kelsey in his life. Together.

  Chapter Seven

  She never should’ve invited him to stay for dinner.

  Kelsey scooped the remnants of the casserole into a disposable plastic container then sealed the lid. On the other side of the kitchen counter, Landon sat at the table holding Adeline on his lap. And looking way too good for a man who’d allegedly spent all day on the farm checking equipment, adding oil to engines or whatever farmers did to prepare for a wheat harvest. His broad shoulders, tan skin and the smile lines that appeared whenever Adeline made him chuckle invaded Kelsey’s line of sight. She had no hope of resisting his charm if she didn’t stop stealing covert glances.

  Adeline’s chatter filled the room as she babbled around the plastic measuring cup she’d been gnawing on for the past few minutes. Kelsey turned away and crossed the small kitchen to the refrigerator.

  “Where did you hide all the desserts that people brought you?”

  She hesitated, wedging the door open with her shoulder. Grateful for the cool air wafting toward her, she stalled, scrambling for an answer that didn’t make her sound selfish or unappreciative. Probably a little late for that, though. And she wasn’t going to lie to him. Not anymore.

  “There are some brownies in the pantry.” She closed the fridge and turned toward the sink. “I tossed everything else.”

  “You threw cookies away?” The teasing lilt in his voice did nothing to ease her guilt. “You’d better not let that news get out.”

  Ouch. He might be joking, but the words stung. She was an outsider here. They’d rolled out a generous welcome, but when she messed up and hurt Landon or didn’t behave like they wanted her to, they’d turn on her in a second.

  “I needed the containers for leftovers.” Not to mention she had a uniform she’d have to fit in when she got back to Hawaii and a physical fitness evaluation to pass. Those stacks of cookies calling to her from the pantry shelves did not mesh well with her profession’s expectations. She turned on the water then squirted dish detergent on the dirty plates stacked in the sink.

  “Next time, share with me instead.”

  She fired an annoyed glance at him.

  Unfazed, Landon grinned at her. “I’ll trade cookies for plastic wrap and aluminum foil any day of the week.”

  “Noted.” She washed sticky oatmeal from Adeline’s red plastic bowl. She hadn’t been a fan of the chicken and rice, so Kelsey fed her oatmeal, pureed pears and sweet potatoes instead.

  “If there’s anything you need, all you have to do is ask.”

  “I don’t need anything.” She refused to look at him. Please, just go. But the silent plea wasn’t ef
fective. He stayed in his chair, the warmth of his gaze on her skin making her want to run for the hills. Instead of having a conversation like a mature adult, she did what she always did when conversations turned too intimate for her liking. She kept moving forward. A messy kitchen? Not a problem. She’d scrub until it shined.

  Because if he kept treating her well and performing this father-of-the-year act, she was going to have to invent new and clever ways to resist him.

  She had to protect her heart. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for him again. He had a right to see Adeline, and he seemed committed to providing for his daughter, but that didn’t mean Kelsey had to let him love her.

  “Can I do anything to help before I go?” Landon offered.

  “Nope, I got it.” She squirted more detergent on the dinner plates. Why didn’t he get the hint? She didn’t want him in her space, making Adeline giggle, making life easier, making this house feel like a home and like they were a family.

  That last idea sent panic ricocheting through her, and she dropped the slippery plate. It clattered in the sink, then cracked into three pieces. Adeline burst into tears. Kelsey gasped. Landon’s chair scraped against the hardwood, and he was at her side in an instant.

  “Are you okay?” His gentle hand on her shoulder made her spine straighten. Adeline’s fussy cry pricked at her already-frayed nerves.

  “I’m fine.” She left the broken plate in the sink then turned and stretched out her arms toward Adeline. “I’ll take her. It’s time for her bath.”

  Crusty baby food clung to Adeline’s cheeks, giving her round face an orange glow. Her high chair tray was coated in the stuff, and Kelsey spied some rice and chicken dried on the wall. Suddenly the bath, bottle and bedtime story routine loomed like a mountain she lacked the strength to summit.

  Landon didn’t relinquish his hold. “I can give her a bath.”

  The hopeful look in his eyes made her pause. He wanted to help. And bathing Adeline required patience she just didn’t have tonight. “Okay. Go ahead. Do you know how?”

  He hesitated. “Not exactly, but I can figure it out.”

  Don’t be bossy. Let him try. The wisdom flitting through her head kept her from following him into the bathroom and monitoring his every move. That and Adeline’s fussing indicated they needed to get her ready for bed.

  “All right.” She pointed toward the bathroom down the hall. “Baby shampoo and soap are on the counter. She uses the pink towel with the hood. It’s on the back of the door. And don’t take your eyes off her for even a second. Okay?”

  “Use the shaving cream and the striped beach towel under the sink.”

  “What?” Did the man ever listen? “No.”

  He winked, sending her heart into a deep dive. “Just kidding.”

  Stinker. He was infuriatingly handsome, too.

  While she finished cleaning up the kitchen, the sounds of splashing and Adeline’s bubbly giggles punctuated with the occasional squeal filtered in from the bathroom. It tempted Kelsey to grab her phone and sneak in to snap some photos, but she resisted. Landon would see right through her cover and probably tease her about checking up on him. Or worse, they’d end up arguing like they did yesterday at the park over Adeline’s hat.

  By the time she’d fixed a warm bottle of formula for Adeline and selected a board book from their small collection in the living room, Landon walked in carrying a clean but sleepy baby. Her chest squeezed. He’d even put her into her yellow pajamas with the tiny pink flowers.

  Adeline’s face scrunched up when she saw the bottle in Kelsey’s hand, and she kicked her leg impatiently against Landon’s side.

  “Hold on, pretty girl.” Landon carefully supported her with both hands. “Let your mom get ready.”

  Kelsey crossed to the paisley-print sofa and settled in. Landon handed Adeline to her. She quickly tucked her in the crook of her arm, then gave her the bottle. While Adeline drank with both hands clutching the clear plastic like it was her lifeline, Kelsey breathed in the soothing lavender scent of Adeline’s shampoo. Was there anything sweeter than holding a warm, clean, snuggly baby?

  Landon hovered behind the sofa, twirling his key ring in a circle around his finger.

  She studied him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Let me take you to dinner.”

  “No.” She couldn’t imagine a more dangerous threat to her plan for keeping him at arm’s length.

  “Once we start harvesting wheat, there isn’t a lot of downtime. If a storm shows up in the forecast, we go even harder to get the wheat in while it’s still dry. I want you to have a break from taking care of Adeline. Just—”

  “I don’t need a break. She’s my daughter, and I’ve been away for five months. I want to take care of her.”

  “I’m not implying that you can’t.” He held up both palms in surrender. “Taking care of a baby is hard work, especially if there’s no one to share the load with.”

  “You’re here now, helping me out. You’ve helped every day since I got here.”

  “Right, but I won’t be able to help you once the harvest starts. My folks will be busy, too. You’re going to be on your own with Adeline for several days.”

  Several days? Surely he was joking. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve got this.”

  His brows slid upward.

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She stared up at him. “Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?”

  Hurt flickered across his features. “Because I care about you and I want you to be happy.”

  Her mouth fell open.

  “My mom can watch Adeline for a couple of hours tomorrow night so we can go to dinner.”

  “You’ve already planned this?”

  “I made sure she was available before I asked you.”

  Kelsey tipped her head back against the sofa. Dinner out sounded nice. Adeline would be safe with Landon’s mom. She was her grandmother. They should spend some time together to discuss the decisions looming before them. Because there’d be a lot of them.

  “All right,” Kelsey relented. “Dinner, but nothing else. We need to talk. No movies, no walks through the park, no fireworks—just dinner. I want to be back in time to give Adeline her bottle before bed.”

  His mouth twitched. “Noted.”

  She narrowed her gaze. He was mocking her again. “What time should I be ready?”

  “Six fifteen?”

  “Great. See you then.”

  “Good night.”

  He slipped out the front door and closed it quietly behind him.

  She kissed Adeline’s forehead as her baby girl’s eyes drifted closed. “Why did I let your daddy talk me into that?”

  * * *

  He hadn’t been this nervous since his final ride on an angry bull to win his last world championship. Landon wiped his sweaty palms across his jeans one at a time, then grabbed the steering wheel. He sneaked a glance at Kelsey riding in his truck’s passenger seat. She smelled good—like the air after a light spring rain. Some women chose fragrances that overwhelmed his senses. Not Kelsey. And her hair was styled in loose curls that spilled past her bare shoulders in shiny waves. She looked incredible. Not only did he have clammy palms, but his fingers itched to reach across the console and twine his fingers through hers.

  Dude. Chill. Out. So not a good way to start their evening—daydreaming about holding hands when she’d made her expectations crystal clear. This was a casual dinner. A night out after a grueling week full of heartache and disappointment.

  Still, after her apology and the tender moment they’d shared in the kitchen yesterday, he couldn’t help but hope—hope that maybe he and Kelsey might still have a shot at a future together. A shot at being a family.

  “So what would you be doing for fun if you were in Hawaii right now?”

  He had
to say something to break the loaded silence hovering in the truck’s cab. Had to have a conversation with her that redirected his thoughts from the wild trek they’d just taken.

  “I don’t...get out much,” she said softly, shifting away from him to look out her window.

  “Really?”

  That didn’t sound like the Kelsey he’d met at Wade and Maggie’s wedding. Admittedly, spending a weekend together at a wedding did not make him an expert on her habits, but she’d struck him as adventurous. The high-energy type.

  “Diving keeps me busy. When I’m on base, I try to exercise, see a few friends or go to church if I have the day off.”

  Wait. Church? He quickly stifled the doubt that popped into his head. Questioning her wasn’t fair. Or helpful. While it surprised him to hear church was a priority in her life, he tucked that fact away to revisit later.

  “How about surfing? I hear Hawaii’s beaches are some of the best in the world for that.”

  She shook her head. “I spend a lot of time in the ocean already. Surfing doesn’t really interest me. Too slow. I’m not good at sitting around waiting, especially for a wave.”

  “Huh. Imagine that.”

  She shot him a curious glance. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.” He couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You haven’t sat still for more than a few minutes since you got here. Unless you’re sleeping or eating. I’ve never surfed, but I thought it might appeal to the side of you that appreciates a challenge.”

  “I have Adeline to think about. I can’t afford to take senseless risks.”

  “Right.” Oh brother. Hard to miss the subtext there. He’d been a bull rider who took more than his fair share of senseless risks. Maybe this was a bad idea. They couldn’t even talk about the ocean without stumbling into a conflict.

  He’d just wanted to do something nice. Something kind for her. She’d had her life completely turned upside down by the loss of her stepbrother. Worse, she’d had to come home unexpectedly and deal with him, care for her baby again, grieve and adjust to the news of her stepfather’s declining health. Seemed like a lot for one person to handle all at once.