Balance (The Chicago Defiance MC Book 6)

by K E Osborn

  My breathing becomes frantic. “Who? Who the fuck is doing this?”

  He slumps his body. “Eric Forsythe.”

  “The investigative journalist? Fuck!”

  “Now you see why I need you to do this, darling. If he has this story sitting and waiting, you need to let Ace go…”

  “Before he becomes prime time news,” I mumble to myself as reality smacks me right in my goddamn face.

  “Do you understand now?”

  A trickle of tears slowly run down my cheeks. Ace’s past can’t be dragged up because of me. If it is, maybe he could still face jail time. I have no idea, but I don’t want to do that to him.

  I don’t want that for him, he was young when he did that shit.

  He’s a different man now.

  I know it.

  He shouldn’t have to suffer for what his father did like I have to suffer because of my father’s actions which have put me in this position right now.

  That’s not fair on Ace.

  So, I will do this for him.

  Let him go to save him.

  To save his club.

  Because I may have only met his brothers and everyone else briefly, but I have grown attached to them. I don’t want to see any of them hurt because of me or my family’s actions.

  “I’ll tell h-him it’s over.” The words are harder to say than I thought they would be as I choke them out.

  Julian squeezes my knee again. “I am sorry, Neve. But you have to know I’m only doing this because I care.”

  “I know. I don’t blame you, I blame Eric Forsythe.”

  Julian grimaces. “Neve, if it weren’t him, it would’ve been someone else. Shit that happened here last night was huge, you have to understand that. You can’t think the press wouldn’t look into what’s happened. You and Ace… an actress and a biker…” his face softens as his eyes show me sympathy, “… it simply can’t work, darling. You’re from two different worlds.”

  Wiping my face, I swallow the lump in my throat. “I need to tell him alone. I can’t do it with you in the room.”

  “All right, but it has to be done.”

  My stomach falls through the floor as I stand up. “Can I keep this file?”

  He exhales. “Do with it what you must, Neve, but tread carefully.”

  Julian heads for the door of the trailer. I follow behind him, my stomach churning like the waves of a thousand tumultuous seas. He steps down the stairs then turns back looking right at me. “I’ll be around, my cell is right here.” He pats his pants pocket. “You need me, you call.”

  I can’t even manage to smile as he glances over at Ace who’s watching us with eagle eyes. “You’re doing the right thing.” His voice is low as he takes a deep breath then turns toward Ace bowing his head then continues walking.

  I let out a long, heavy breath as I signal to Ace. He doesn’t hesitate as he jogs this way. My heart hammers in my chest as his features warm on his approach. He reaches me, instantly his hand comes up wiping at my tear-stained cheek.

  “Want me to punch him? ‘Cause I will. I’ll do that for you.” I let out a small laugh followed by a sniff. “Don’t cry, baby, whatever he said we’ll work through it together.”

  My stomach churns, my chest tightens, I can’t hold it in. I break out into a full sob falling into his arms. I wrap myself around him as he holds me to him, his hands smoothing over my hair.

  “Hey, hey, shhh… it’s gonna be okay. Now I really want to punch him. What the fuck did he say to you?”

  Trying to pull myself together, I pull away from his embrace, sinking into his concerned eyes. His worried face tells me everything. He’s in deep just like I am, and this is only going to devastate him like it’s doing to me right now.

  God, why is this so fucking hard?

  I reach out grabbing his hand, pulling him inside the trailer, gesturing for him to take a seat. He doesn’t. Instead, he merely stares at me with an inquisitive look, a look as if he doesn’t know what’s coming. So, I start pacing the floor, anxiety rushing through me as I try to figure out where the fuck to start.

  “Neve, talk to me. It’s just me, you’re okay.”

  I let out a puff of air and turn back to him as I glance to the file on the table then back at him. “Here’s the thing—”

  “Oh, that’s not a good way to start a conversation.”

  I sink in on myself as I breathe a little heavier. “Ace, this is hard for me, okay?”

  He flares his nostrils like he’s already cottoned on to what’s happening. “What is?”

  I turn away from him as tears flow down my face. I feel sick like I actually want to throw up. “I don’t… I just don’t think we should see each other anymore.” I clench my eyes tight wishing this were a dream.

  He doesn’t yell.

  He doesn’t throw things.

  He’s quiet apart from his heavy breathing.

  This is even more daunting than I thought.

  He clears his throat, then speaks, “Is this you or Julian talking?”

  I open my eyes, deciding to turn and face him.

  I shouldn’t have.

  The sight I see is horrible.

  Ace is a mixture of broken and raging. His face is red, his arms are crossed over his chest, but it’s his eyes that give him away. They’re glassy. He’s miserable like me. “Natalia!”

  I jump from the loudness in his voice as I burst into tears. “Him, me, both… I don’t fucking know.”

  Ace grits his teeth, then storms toward me with such a fierce intent it shocks me. I stumble back into the bench as his hands come either side of me boxing me in. His face lines up with mine, pure anger in his features, his eyes only millimeters from mine, breaths panting heavily, chests heaving as we stare at each other. The tension rising so fast it’s like I don’t know if he wants to kiss me or hurt me, but either way, I’m fucking turned on right now.

  “Natalia, tell me. Is this your choice? Do you want me to go?” His voice is strong, and it sends goosebumps all the way down my spine as we stare at each other.

  My bottom lip trembles as I shake my head. “No.” It comes out as a breathy whisper, but it’s all he needs as he slams his lips to mine. Euphoria swarms through me as I wrap my arms around his neck holding him to me, kissing him for all he’s worth. My mouth opens letting his tongue gain access as we kiss the most intense kiss. The emotion surrounding us is so intense right now I feel like I could explode.

  Then it all swarms back.

  If I don’t do what I need to, Ace will be in danger.

  I can’t do this to him.

  I can’t keep falling back into him.

  My hands slide to his chest, and I regretfully push him away. His lips leave mine, tingles pop and crackle on my lips as he pulls back, his eyes searching mine as if to wonder why the hell I stopped our amazing kiss.

  Then he sees it.

  The hurt in my eyes.

  The moment of clarity.

  “No, don’t do this, Natalia. We’re good for each other. Whatever Julian said, whatever he threatened, I’ll make it right.”

  I grimace as I push past him and move to sit, I gesture for him to join me, but he stands watching me like he’s confused. “Ace… Aaron, it won’t be all right.”

  His entire demeanor changes at me calling him by his name. He seems to take me seriously now, pulling in a deep breath moving to sit beside me. “Talk to me, what’s got you so rattled?”

  Anxiously, I slide the folder over to him. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. His brows scrunch together as his eyes narrow, but then he takes the folder opening it quickly.

  His eyes scan the pages. His muscles tighten, the vein on his neck pulsates as he throws the folder back to the table hard. “This is fucking bullshit. You’re ending things with me over this? Your mad at me because it points out what a shithead I was?”

  I wince at the harsh tone in his voice.

  He’s hurt.

  He’s processing.

&nbs
p; I get it.

  But he’s wrong and also missing the point. “No, that’s not it, Aaron. I knew about your past. You told me, remember? It doesn’t scare me away from you. I’m trying to protect you from the story getting out about the judge, Maya, and the blackmail.”

  He tenses all over picking up the file. “But that shit’s not true…” he pauses, “… is it?”

  I sink in on myself as I see him taking this all in. He suddenly stands to pace the trailer running his fingers through his hair, messing up his man bun. “Jesus, I was so young and stupid I didn’t even realize the judge was coerced by my father… fuck!” He yells the last word as he slams the folder back down on the table.

  I stand rounding the table and rushing to him to stop his inner panic. I reach out grabbing his hands forcing him to look at me. “I don’t want us to end, Ace, more than anything I want to be with you. You have to know that. But being with me puts you in the spotlight, puts the club in the spotlight. If one reporter found this and brought it to Julian’s attention, then others can, too. I can’t risk you going to jail just to be with me. I can’t bring this down on the club either, you all mean too much to me.”

  He eyes drop to the floor while he pulls me to him cradling me into his chest. “This is bullshit.”

  I wrap my arms around him snuggling with him as much as I can. I need to feel him. To be with him as much as possible before he leaves. “I know. I hate this, so fucking much. But I won’t let you put yourself or your club at harm, not for me.”

  He holds me tighter as we stand in my trailer never wanting to let go. We were never officially together, but it feels like we’re definitely breaking up after being together for a lifetime. I feel more connected to him now than previous boyfriends I’ve been with for years. There’s just something about Ace that has me bonded to him, and now I have to throw it all away because of a technicality.

  This fucking blows.

  “This mean we have to cut all contact, doesn’t it?” he asks.

  I glance up at him, a tear rolling down my cheek. He swipes it away with his thumb. “I think so. If the press suspects us being together, of any contact, they’ll start digging. I won’t risk you, Ace.”

  “What if I think you’re worth the risk?”

  My entire body melts. “Then I’d say you’re a fool. A gorgeous, brave, idiotic fool. But I won’t let you. I want us, I want you, but not at that huge cost, not when I could lose you and have it blow up in our faces at any time. I need you to forget about me and move on, Ace. You deserve a good life with someone who can make you happy, not have you constantly looking over your shoulder.”

  “I’m a biker, babe. I’m always looking over my shoulder.”

  I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

  “I do… doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it. Honestly, I don’t give a shit about myself, but the club… it means everything to me.”

  I exhale. “I know. I don’t want to do this. I don’t like it either, Ace.”

  “The thought of riding out of here today and not seeing or speaking to you again is hard to take.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He leans in planting a kiss on my forehead.

  I wrap my arms around his waist holding him to me, just needing to feel him a little longer. “Ace?” I murmur peering up at him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Kiss me one last time… like you mean it?”

  He spins lifting my legs up, hoisting my ass on the table. I squeal as he lays me back slamming his lips to mine as he lays on top of me. I groan as his hard cock presses against the seam of my panties.

  Fuck I want him, if only for one last time.

  His tongue pushes on my lips so I open my mouth granting him access. My hands run up into his hair, my fingers threading into his hair tie yanking it free so his hair falls down around us. My fingers run through it just to feel it again. I fucking love his hair as my fingers slide through his lustrous locks, gripping tight as we rock on the table, grinding together.

  My clit tingles, throbbing with need, as goosebumps litter my skin. His hand moves down to my thigh, sliding under my skirt. I pant with need, with desire. I want him to touch me.

  “Neve!” a voice calls out forcing us to break apart. Ace’s hand rushes out from under my skirt and he pulls back lifting me up from the table as we both glance at the trailer door to see Sophie, my makeup assistant, come rushing in. “Neve, we need to get you… oh, shit, sorry. Didn’t know you had company. I’ll come back. But we need to start getting you ready for the set,” she announces then jumps out of the trailer as quickly as she came in.

  Ace exhales rearranging his cock in his jeans as he takes a step back from me. “I guess you gotta go be a star, Starlet.”

  I gasp at hearing his name for me.

  I’ll miss that.

  “Ace,” I whimper.

  “Neve,” he murmurs back as he pulls me to him again kissing my forehead. “I’ll get Noah to stay here for now to watch over you until I can find a security team I trust.”

  My bottom lip quivers. “Okay.”

  He takes a step back putting a frigid coldness between us. “You need anything, I mean anything, you call me.”

  “I will.” I wrap my arms around myself.

  He glances to the floor with a heavy exhale, then reaches for the folder taking it. “I need to take this,” he states. It’s a demand, not a request.

  My head bobs up and down as I try to keep myself together. “It’s yours.”

  He glances at the trailer door while a sudden wave of anxiety rushes over me. I don’t want him to leave. Not like this. Not with hurt in his eyes. I go to say something but he turns and walks toward the door.

  “Goodbye, Natalia.”

  “Aaron,” I call out making him stop and turn back, his eyes trying hard to stay focused. “Be safe.”

  “You, too, Starlet. You, too.” Then before I can say anything else, he’s out the door leaving me alone in my trailer reeling. My heart beats rapidly in my chest as I stumble to the table gripping onto it for comfort as I burst into sobbing tears. My entire body feels heavy like it’s being beaten in a wrestling match, but I’m standing stock still. I’m in so much pain as my eyes flood and overflow, saltwater pouring down my face. My ass falls to the floor of the trailer in a heap.

  I’ve lost him, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

  As I sit on the floor of the trailer waiting, waiting for the telltale sound, it takes longer than I thought it would. Maybe he hesitates, hoping I’d go after him. I want to so fucking badly, but there’s no point as I finally hear his engine start. It’s like a sucker punch to the gut as I wipe the tears from my cheeks trying to remember this is for the best.

  This is for him.

  I’m doing this for him.

  If I have to suffer so he can stay out of jail, then it has to be done even though I feel like death when I hear his bike roar out of Unit Base like a bat out of hell. My body falls to the floor. My head lying on my arm as I softly cry. I feel numb. He’s gone.

  Running footsteps alert me to someone coming inside my trailer, but I don’t care as someone sits on the floor beside me lying their hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, Neve. I’m sorry for both of you,” Cindi’s caring voice softly echoes through the trailer as she wraps herself around me for comfort.

  I cuddle into her as she holds me. Anyone walking in would wonder what the fuck they’re seeing, but right now I don’t care. I need her. She’s the right person to help me through this. She knows me, she knows Ace, and right now, I need something to feel a little bit close to him.

  Because he’s gone, and I don’t think I’m ever going to see him again.

  ACE

  Pulling back on the throttle, I try my hardest not to ride like a maniac, but it’s difficult when anger surges through me like a swirling tornado. I’m hurt, I’m pissed, but most of all I’m shocked. I don’t see myself as an overly emotional guy, but the thought this could possibly
be the last time I see Neve is hitting me like a fucking ton of bricks.

  I swerve to miss the sidewalk as my focus comes back into view, and I shake my head. I’m a fucking mess. I gotta fix my goddamn shit. I pull down on the throttle even harder trying to make it back to the clubhouse in record time.

  I need to see Torque. I have to find out if what’s in this damn file is legit. Pulling down the access road, the smell of the South Branch Chicago River hits my senses, letting me know I’m home. I pull up to the giant gate. Gatekeeper opens it for me, and I bob my head at him as I ride in taking up my position.

  My chest continues to squeeze as I slide off my ride. I thought coming home might help, but all it does is remind me of this morning when she was here, and we were happy.

  Shaking my head, I yank off my helmet with a little more force than necessary, shoving it on my seat, then delve into my saddlebag pulling out the file. I turn, storming toward the clubhouse to see Lift and Vibe at it again in the gym. No wonder they’re both so damn ripped.

  I step past them, straight for the door and head inside to see Hayley and Ruby walking around cleaning while Sparx sits in the corner on a blanket with Neala playing with the twins. Exhaling, I storm toward the chapel thinking Torque’s most probably inside.

  Swinging the door open, I walk in to see Torque and Trax sitting at the table. They’re obviously talking about something important as they both snap their heads up at me like I’m a rude bastard for interrupting their conversation.

  I don’t give a shit.

  I’m in a bitch of a mood, and right now all I care about is finding out if this shit in my hand is factual. I slam the door shut and make a move for my desk.

  “Oi, fuckface… no hello, no pleasurable greeting, no fucking kumbaya this morning?” Trax mocks as I slam the file down on my desk in my anger.

  I turn to face him, his shock at my actions speak volumes as he and Torque both stand walking toward me. “I’m not in the mood for your cocky bullshit this morning, Trax.”

  Torque strides in front of me, he gestures at the file. He misses nothing. “Wanna tell me what that’s about?” Turning, I let out a long puff of air as I run both my hands over my hair in anguish. “Ace, not to state the damn obvious but you’re angry or upset… both? Talk to me,” Torque relays calmly.