Love or Lust 3

by Rachael Brownell

  “You gonna play with us?” Bella asks, her voice filled with hope.

  “Why not,” I reply, forcing a smile in her direction.

  I feel bad for Bella. The last thing I want is her caught in the middle of the tension between me and Teegan, but there’s no avoiding it. There’s only three of us left. It’s bound to happen. I won’t make her choose sides, but I can’t say the same for Teegan. Now that her BFF and partner in crime, Courtney, is gone, she needs a replacement.

  Because Teegan strikes me as the kind of girl that can’t do this on her own. She needs to be part of a group. A team.

  Think Mean Girls, circa 2004.

  Natasha was Gretchen. Courtney was Karen. Teegan, she’s Regina. The queen bee calling all the shots, though I was convinced Courtney was the real mastermind. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they made their very own “burn book.”

  Taking a seat next to Bella on her lounger, Teegan hands me the dice and pulls six cards, placing them face down.

  “Draw a card and then roll,” she states.

  It might be my imagination, but I swear I can hear the hatred in her voice twisting with pleasure as I reach for the middle card. A small smile flashes across Teegan’s face, quickly disappearing when I decide to take the card on the left and flip it over.

  Lennon.

  One simple word. A name.

  “Now roll.” Her voice is encouraging.

  Twisting the single die in my fingers, I read the words truth and dare over and over again before shaking it in my closed fist and dropping it on the table.

  Dare.

  “Bella do you want to go first, or do you want me to?” Teegan asks as she pulls out her phone, tapping a few buttons before laying it face up on top of the middle card.

  She wants to take notes. Sure. Why not. I’d hate to forget what I’m dared to do.

  “Hmmm.” Bella ponders the offer before shaking her head, granting Teegan first dibs on torturing me.

  “Okay, Presley. I dare you to run into Lennon’s arms when they get back, wrap yourself around him, and plant a memorable kiss on his lips.”

  Her motive is crystal clear. She’s hoping I’ll do it right in from of Jace. No problem. I can handle that, and so can they. Why? Because I’ll give them fair warning of what’s about to happen.

  I’ll give all the guys fair warning.

  And make sure they know Teegan’s behind every little detail.

  Smiling at Teegan, I brush off her dare as if it’s no big deal and hand her the single die I’ve had clenched in my first. “Your turn.”

  We pass the die around, each of us rolling a few times and landing on truth. The questions are silly. Who do we think is the hottest? Who do we think is going to win? Fuck, marry, kill. We rate the guys based on personality and body. It’s clear who has everyone’s attention, though it was a close race between Lennon and Jace, mainly because Bella seems to be leaning toward Lennon these days. They would make a cute couple. Both are the silent-but-strong type.

  When Bella rolls a dare, she asks me to hand it out. It takes me a second to think of something even remotely fun, and when I do, I smile from ear to ear.

  “Oh, God. Are you going to embarrass me?” Bella squeals, hiding her face in her hands.

  “No. At least, I don’t think so. Since I’ll be greeting Lennon with an earth-shattering make-out session, I was thinking you could do the same with Jace. You don’t have to take it as far as I was dared to, but you do have to kiss him.”

  Take that, Teegan. There’s no way you’ll be able to steal him away if Bella’s making out with him, which was more than likely her plan all along. That and to create a rift between us.

  Good luck, bitch.

  “I can handle that.”

  “Going easy on her, I see,” Teegan notes as I pick up the die to roll.

  “Depends how you look at it,” I reply, staring directly at Teegan as I shake the die. “If it were you that had rolled dare, I would have made it something more sexual because you’re a more sexual person. Bella’s not. She’s modest and I respect that. I’d hate to make her uncomfortable. The game’s supposed to be fun, right?”

  Raising an eyebrow at her as I let the die fly, I don’t bother to look down at what I rolled until long after she nods her head in agreement.

  Dare.

  “Well, Bella. What’s it going to be?”

  The sun has started to set, and the lights around the pool flicker to life. While Bella thinks of a good dare for me, Teegan rolls, and I return to the bar to make us each a drink. When I get back, Bella is practically bouncing off the lounger in excitement as she claps her hands.

  “What did I miss?”

  “Teegan rolled dare, so she’s going to make out with Milo when he gets back. Now no one will feel left out.” I look over at Teegan, who appears less than enthusiastic about the recent development while Bella explains my dare.

  Wait. What?

  “Say that again,” I say, choking on the sip I was about to take when her words hit me.

  “You have to put on a striptease for all the guys. Not naked, but down to something super skimpy. We’ll set it all up for you. Saturday, after the party. After the cameramen are all gone.”

  “Pass,” I reply sternly. There’s no way in hell I’m stripping and putting on a show for the guys. I have a moral compass, and it’s pointing in the other direction.

  A solo show . . . sure.

  Public, with cameras hidden everywhere . . . not a chance in hell.

  “Why not? It’s no big deal,” Teegan pushes, the same sinister smile she was sporting when we started playing spread across her face.

  “If it’s no big deal, why don’t you do it.”

  “It’s not my dare. Plus, from what I hear, Milo’s the only one who hasn’t seen it so—”

  My hand connects with her cheek before I know what’s happening.

  “I don’t know who you think you are, but you don’t get to insult me like that. What I do and with who is my business, not yours. Keep your opinions to yourself.” Standing, I rip my towel from the back of the lounger with such force I almost topple it over. I can feel Teegan’s eyes boring into me as I turn to leave, so I put the final nail in her coffin. “One more thing,” I add, looking over my shoulder. “Stay the fuck away from Jace. The game isn’t over yet, but he’s not interested. Not in you, at least.”

  I barely have time to close the door behind me before someone is knocking.

  Claudia. This can’t be good. Especially since she’s gripping a folder in her hands so tightly it’s bending from the force.

  “I’d say it’s nice to see you, but I have a feeling I won’t like this visit.”

  She doesn’t bother to reply as she brushes past me, inviting herself in and tossing the folder on the coffee table before taking a seat on the sofa. When she motions for me to sit next to her, I roll my eyes, slam the door closed, and take the chair opposite her just because I can.

  “We have policies, Presley,” she begins.

  “I’m well aware. You have a policy for everything. A list of what we can and can’t do. Where we can and can’t go. You should have included a policy that states how we can and can’t treat each other, though that wouldn’t make for very good television would it.”

  The anger in my voice rises as I speak. There’s no doubt in my mind she can hear it as she leans away from me when I lean toward her.

  “I understand Teegan was out of line with her comment, but assaulting another person is strictly forbidden. You signed the paperwork,” she says as she searches through the folder she brought, pulling out a piece of paper and laying it on the table in front of me. “Teegan is my next stop. Should she push the issue, you will be sent home. Not at the end of the week. Tonight.”

  Of course Teegan’s going to want me to leave. That would guarantee her a chance with Jace in her mind. At least she’d secure a spot here next week. The final week. And a chance at the big money.

  Or will it?<
br />
  Taking the paper in my hands, I look to the bottom line where it asked for my signature. The line that’s coincidentally empty. No signature. No acknowledgment that I received the paper, read it, or even knew about the policy.

  “That’s great, Claudia. Want to know why? Because Teegan wants me gone, but she’s not going to get her wish. Not today. Make sure she knows that and please do have a talk with her about how disrespectful she is toward me. I’d appreciate it.” My voice is dripping with hatred as I hand Claudia back the piece of paper.

  “I don’t think you understand—”

  “Oh, I do. I understand perfectly. Now. And had I known about the policy, things may have turned out differently tonight. Probably not but we’ll never know.”

  “Presley—”

  “I didn’t sign it, Claudia. I don’t remember reading this or ever seeing it for that matter. If you try to send me home, I’ll sue this show for everything it’s worth.” Claudia looks down at the paper in stunned silence.

  Again, I’ve won. This round anyway. Teegan will just have to try again tomorrow. And as for that striptease . . . not going to happen.

  Chapter Five

  Day 34

  It’s been forever since I remember taking this long to pick out something to wear. Especially here. If I’m not in my swimsuit or a gown, I’m in yoga pants and a T-shirt.

  I can’t go anywhere.

  I see the same people every day.

  They’ve seen me without makeup on. The entire world has.

  So why am I so concerned with how I look this morning? With which outfit I put on?

  Because I haven’t seen Jace in more than twenty-four hours, and I want him to be knocked on his ass and thinking about me when Bella kisses him.

  Not that I think she’s a threat to what we have.

  Nope. That would be Teegan. But even she’s not a threat.

  And I’m getting all worked up, nervous, the longer it takes me to pick something out to wear, so I do the one thing I know will settle me down.

  I call Naomi.

  It’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I miss her.

  “She finally calls,” she says in lieu of a standard hey or hello.

  “She does.”

  There’s a short pause before she jumps on me.

  “What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.”

  And then I start rambling on about not being able to find something to wear. Wanting to impress Jace. Realizing he’s the one I want to be with. How Lennon kissed me the other night and I felt something, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.

  All things I’ve told her before but feel the need to get off my chest. Because I’m freaking the hell out and she’s not here to calm me down.

  By the time I’m done, Naomi is laughing so hard and so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear.

  “Girl, you’re in love with him. That’s why you care. Just chill out. You know he already likes you. I doubt he’s going to care what you wear. Hell, he’d probably vote for you to show up naked if you asked him.”

  And now I’m laughing. Because she has a point.

  If I gave Jace the option, he’d choose naked every time.

  “What do I do?”

  “You throw on the first outfit you see and go say hello to your man.”

  “Not about that. I think I do love him, Naomi. And this is almost over. What then?”

  I’ve been thinking more and more about what happens next for us. Can we make a long-distance relationship work? Do I want to try? Does he? Should I move to Miami, or is it too soon? Is that too big a step for us?

  Every time I start to think about it, I get depressed, so I stop thinking about it. The last thing I want is to spend the little time we have left worrying about what may or may not happen. I want to live in the moment. Enjoy his company.

  “You haven’t talked about it?”

  “He may have mentioned something about a job for me in Miami. That he wants me in his life, but I’m not sure how much of that is because he’s caught up in the moment or because that’s what he really wants.”

  “What do you want?”

  That’s a loaded question and she knows it.

  “I want . . . I don’t know. I want to be with him, but I’m afraid of getting hurt again. It scares me that he has the power to do that already. And if he destroys my heart, there will be no coming back from it. I can’t survive a second time, Naomi. You and I both know I almost didn’t survive Wren.”

  “You’re right, but then again, you just said his name. Without hatred in your voice. Without even realizing it. I think you’re stronger than you realize. That you can survive anything. I also think you know he’s not Wren. He would never hurt you on purpose the way Wren did.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I ask, needing a little more reassurance.

  “Because, when you were with Wren, you hesitated about everything. Almost as if you knew it would turn out the way it did. With Jace, you’re not afraid to admit how you feel. The way you talk about him, the things you’ve told me, I can tell he’s a good person. That he honestly cares about you.”

  “I haven’t really said that much about him, have I?”

  “Since day one, you’ve been talking about him, whether you realize it or not. Sure, you talked about Lennon a little, but not the way you talk about Jace. Not with as much excitement in your voice. You may not have wanted to go on this show, Presley, but I’m glad you did. You’ve healed since being there, and now you’re allowing love in your heart again. A love that I think has the chance to go the distance. But it’s not about what I think. It’s about how you feel. You have to decide what you want.

  “Do you want to be with Jace? Take a risk and move to Florida and see where things go? Or would you rather leave there with nothing more than a passing fling? Can you let him go?”

  Her words run through my mind as I slip into a tank top and short shorts. They’re still running through my mind as I rush over to Bella’s villa so we can greet the guys together. And they continue to run through my mind until the moment Jace steps out of the main house and our eyes connect.

  The answer is no.

  I won’t be able to let him go.

  The wind in Teegan’s sails has successfully been destroyed. She thought she found a way to get rid of me when, in fact, it may have been the nail in her coffin, and she didn’t even see it coming.

  After Claudia left last night, I sent Jace a text. I filled him in on everything from the day. Teegan’s unnecessary comments. The dares that were made. Including the one that I won’t be following through on. The slap that took both me and Teegan by surprise. And finally, the unsigned paperwork that somehow slipped past Claudia.

  Not that I did it on purpose. I went through and signed every single piece of paper they sent me. That specific form wasn’t included, or I accidentally missed it. Either way, my lack of a signature saved my ass. I’d be on my way to a hotel right now if I’d signed it. And I would have if I’d seen it. I have a strange feeling it wasn’t in my packet. Or anyone’s.

  Jace found everything funny judging by the emoji’s he was sending me. At least that’s what I thought until he started trying to sext me. That’s when I realized he was a little drunk.

  So, when the boys finally arrived earlier this afternoon and I jumped into Lennon’s arms, wrapping myself around him and kissing him as if I needed his oxygen to breathe, Lennon wasn’t surprised. Neither was Jace when Bella kissed him. Milo, on the other hand, either wasn’t informed of what was going on or wasn’t told about the dares because he appeared genuinely shocked when Teegan started making out with him.

  Her hands holding his face hostage. Her tongue invading his mouth.

  It wasn’t pretty.

  Especially with the expression on Milo’s face the first few seconds.

  Then he got into it and took it a step too far.

  Pressing her against the side of the house and slipping a hand under her shirt. Goin
g straight for her boob and fondling her in front of everyone.

  The expression on Teegan’s face made me want to crack up laughing.

  She pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

  Doesn’t she know she can’t do that? It’s against the rules.

  Oops.

  Milo and I have been laughing about it all evening along with the movie he brought over for us to watch. Not that we’ve watched any of it. We’ve basically been talking about Teegan the entire time. About their camping trip and how drunk all the guys were last night. Apparently Jace was reading my text messages out loud to them.

  Good thing I kept them clean.

  Or at least in the beginning, I did. I’m hoping he didn’t share the last few.

  “I thought she missed me. What can I say?” he explains, shrugging his shoulders as he takes another bite of semi-burnt frozen pizza, washing it down with a beer.

  “You have a thing for her, don’t you?” I inquire, causing him to choke on his pizza.

  “What? Teegan? No. No way.”

  “Are you sure?” I push when he refuses to look in my direction.

  “She’s hot, don’t get me wrong. We have fun,” he says, using unnecessary air quotes. “Do I like her? No. She’s not that nice, and she’s kind of bossy. All. The. Time.”

  “Even when . . .”

  “Yes, even then,” he quickly admits, confirming my suspicions that Teegan is bossy when it comes to sex. Because it’s no secret they’ve been together.

  Milo’s a little man-whore. Just ask him. He finally admitted to me tonight that he slept with Natasha and Courtney before they left. So he’s the one keeping the show afloat with his sexual prowess right now.

  “Why sleep with her then? Why bother?”

  “Why not? I mean, sure I’d like to be in charge, but no matter what, I get what I went there for. She knows it’s nothing serious. She’s the one that made that clear to me before anything happened between us the first time. She wants your man, and she’s not going to stop until she gets him.”