The Broken Canvas

by Tai Barnett

  While Michael and I stood to the back of the tables, he glimpsed at Lauren, signaling him from the stage area that it was time for Andrew to make his proposal.

  “Ahh, Tasha Hun, why don’t we just go back to our seats. You can say hello to Brody later on.”

  Michael took my hands and we quickly scurried to our table.

  I saw one of my older brothers go up to the microphone by the gazebo. He was up to something. He was tall and handsome, looking like the younger version of dad.

  “I hope everyone is enjoying themselves. Please drink and eat all the food that you possible can manage.” He looked at me and smiled.

  “My sister Natasha…everyone here remembers Natasha, right?” Shane said. Shane was a charismatic troublemaker that everyone loved, especially women.

  Everyone started clapping and applauding.

  “I told you that she would win the Oscars one day, Shane!” An old-time male friend shouted with his spirited Jamaican accent.

  “Yes, you did, Patrick and you were right. Natasha, please come up here and say a few words for us!”

  What the hell was he doing? He knew that I hated public speaking and being the center of attention. But, nevertheless, I sighed and walked up to the gazebo as Shane handed me the mic.

  As I was about to begin, I looked out at the crowd trying to find my comfort zone, before I would begin speaking, I quickly scanned the audience. It’s funny too, because the last person that I should be thinking about at this point was Brody. Yet, I reasoned. If I saw his face, maybe it would make me less nervous. It makes no sense, I know, but neither does my love for him.

  But the lighting on the stage was so bright and the Japanese lanterns dimly overshadowed the audience that I could not see him or Martin from where I was standing.

  Out of nowhere, I suddenly saw Andrew walking up behind me with a cordless microphone in his hands. I looked over at Lauren, Vernon, Michael, and my two brothers. They were standing at the side towards the chocolate fountain and they were all smiling. Something was up, and it was something big and the Three Musketeers knew about it and never said a word to me.

  Andrew gradually stood beside me and held one of my hands into his. I was not sure what the hell was going on, but I sure didn’t like it. The first thing that popped into my head was that, Andrew was about to propose but, would he? After he very well knew how I felt about marriage.

  Martin looked at Brody to see how he was reacting. Not sure himself but was uncomfortable enough with what he was witnessing that he was quite concerned that Brody must be feeling like crap right now. But Brody simply placed both hands into his pockets and leaned back into his chair, listening keenly to what Andrew was going to say over that microphone.

  As the music quiet down, I could feel my heartbeat slowly increasing.

  “Goodnight, everyone. Ah, I have something quick that I would like to say before Natasha gives her speech…may I?” he asked politely.

  I nodded and smiled. I didn’t want to even imagine again what this might be all about.

  “One day, I heard a strange story from a friend about how he and his wife met and fell in love. He said he always had this gut feeling that he would instantly recognize the woman that he was to spend the rest of his life with, no matter who or where she was in the world.”

  Andrew looked at the audience intensely with his eyebrows creased and paused.

  “Sounds kinda strange, right?”

  I looked at Andrew and smiled. Yet, all I wanted him to do was hurry and get off stage so that I could make my speech and go the hell to bed. But Andrew was an impulsive thespian at times, and this, it seems, was a dramatic presentation of passion and something else.

  “Well, as it would turn out, my friend first met his wife at 2:00 am in an emergency room in Venice. There wasn’t anything fascinating or mysterious on the day that they met either. But his life would completely change—he said, from the moment that she first looked into his eyes while checking for a pulse from an accident that he had had while filming.”

  As always, the audience was under some kind of spell when Andrew spoke. That provocative and stimulating British accent could make even a man that’s ‘ten miles of a bad road’ look like Prince Charming.

  Andrew continued, “For at that very moment and almost instantly, something within him recognized that she was the one.”

  As Andrew carried on, you could no longer hear the music and even a pin drop.

  “Fourteen years later, they are still married and share that strange but true story with everyone. Well, you see, I first recognized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Natasha from the first day I saw her and that is why…” Andrew bent down on his knees

  And as the crowd gasped and I could feel my heart pounding now even faster and faster, a man bending on his knees while holding your hand and looking into your eyes was not unclear at all.

  But what was I going to do? Tell him that I was still in love with Brody while disastrously embarrassing him? My family and I would surely become the gossip of the community and by the end of the day, I can assure you that half of Hollywood and the entire world would know about it. Quite naturally, by now, Tubby’s camera focused a little closer on this potential dilemma.

  And before I could take a breath or even process everything that was happening, Andrew’s genuine and vulnerable eyes exploded in me the awareness and reality of all the evil deeds that I have been hiding from him.

  “Natasha Bishop, it would be an honor for you to be my wife, my one true love for the rest of my life. Will you, Rose, and Charles have me as your husband?”

  There was a faint wave of cheering, whistling and applaud coming from the crowd. But Brody and Martin were not a part of this blissful jubilee. Instead, Brody sat up into his chair while still staring at Andrew on his knees. He sighed and briefly looked into another direction for a second and then suddenly, he stood and started walking away toward the side of the house. Martin quickly followed behind him.

  I smiled when Andrew asked the question. Although, my slight pause and looking into the distance for a few brief seconds was enough to trigger a kind of suspicion in Andrew. Yet, nevertheless, as I nodded and whispered yes, he kissed me on the cheeks and placed a diamond ring that he removed from his pants pocket onto my finger. He stood, placed his arm around my waist while we both faced the crowd.

  Now, I know that you feel that you must judge me right now! But, really think about it for a moment! Would you do it any differently?

  Judging another person is easy and we are all guilty of doing this at some point or another. And I find that women are the hardest on each other at times. But, if we were honest enough to admit it, we might just find ourselves doing the exact same thing or even worst.

  Gripped with every emotion that you could think of, I was still thinking about Brody and wondered what he was feeling.

  Everyone continued clapping and cheering. And as the music grew louder, I started feeling queasy again.

  As Andrew and I amble walked over to Vernon, the kids, Michael, and Lauren, I told them that I needed to use the restroom.

  I didn’t even bother looking for Brody because now I was feeling like something had stabbed me in my heart. Not a feeling that a woman should have when they have just been proposed to and about to spend the rest of their life with the man that they love.

  I locked myself inside of the powder room, threw myself onto the floor and busted out into tears. I felt my limbs becoming weaker and the tears were flowing from my eyes uncontrollably. The entire room seemed to become silent as I blocked out all of my senses. The music in the background even faded away as the horror of my reality increasingly enveloped me.

  Fifteen minutes had passed, and I heard a knock on the door. I reluctantly but slowly pushed it ajar and I saw Andrew standing outside looking at me with a smile.

  “And why is my Bride to be taking so long? Are you feeling OK, honey?”

  I couldn’t take this anymore. Andrew�
�s virtuous face and his innocence was more than I could endure any longer. So I threw the door open and I dashed passed him, running to the front of the yard where the pine and pimento trees had been standing.

  “Natasha, stop! What’s the matter!?” Andrew yelled while he chased quickly behind me.

  But I ran straight beneath one of the trees, hanging my head down and sobbing.

  Andrew was confused and was becoming far more concerned about what was bothering me. He was resolved now more than ever to find out what had me so inconsolable. He clutched one of my arms and turned me around.

  “Natasha! Why are you acting like this? What’s the matter?” Andrew said.

  My eyes were red, and my make-up was becoming smeared as I looked up at him. His blue eyes were so sincere and so innocent. As he gazed into mine, a vivid gleam pierced right into my guilt-ridden soul.

  “Listen, I pushed you too far, didn’t I? You told me that you weren’t ready, and I should have just waited,” Andrew exclaimed.

  He was mad at himself because he always told me I should never let anyone force me to do something that I never wanted to.

  “No! No Andrew! I-I’m pregnant!”

  Andrew’s eyes expanded as he lifted me up into the air and twirled me around. He put me back to the floor and kissed me. He looked as though he was a child and Santa Clause himself just handed him his favorite gift.

  Vernon, Michael, and Lauren were just in time to see what was happening. They stood a distance off and were watching out to see if Mike and Peter were anywhere in sight. Little did they know that they were already on the balcony getting it all on film.

  “Honey, that’s wonderful news! Then, why are you so sad? I hate to see you like this, Natasha. You know you can tell me anything. I thought you wanted another baby?” Andrew said.

  The Three Musketeers looked on with their eyes filled with tears, knowing too much, and wishing that they had not known at all—wanting the news of my pregnancy to be the grandest and only news. Yet, they dreaded that the hidden portentous truth would soon have to be disclosed, sooner than later.

  But the question had not yet been answered when they saw Brody and Martin walking toward Andrew and me.

  Martin was low-spirited, uncomfortable for his brother and irritated all at the same time.

  Brody’s countenance was different than earlier. He was bitter and livid, although deep down inside, he was finally still not ready to give up on his love for me.

  While Martin stood a few feet behind, Brody walked over to Andrew and me. With an unrelenting stare at both of us and while his temper sparked, he turned to me with a raw anger that I have never witness in him before.

  “Natasha! Did you just say that you’re pregnant?” Brody asked.

  But I didn’t answer. At least, not yet. I was trying to let it all sink in or maybe I was feeling a sense of de-realization within that moment because this would cause anyone to become crazy.

  As Andrew held his arms around my shoulder, he still gallantly tried to protect me, even without knowing that he was the real victim.

  “We are pregnant, Brody. But that will not affect your relationship with Charles at all. I think, what we are doing here for the children, is wonderful. We just have to remain civil! And I am sure I speak for both Natasha and I,” Andrew said.

  But Brody rubbed his face with both hands, groined and looked at Andrew with an acerbic smile which within just seconds, demolished into a rigid warning and confrontational stare.

  He looked at me again, “Natasha…if you don’t tell him, then I will! Because I refuse to go through what I did with Charles!” Brody exclaimed.

  Time seemed to have stopped because I could see when Andrew slowly batted his eyes and looked back at me.

  “Tell me what, Natasha?” Andrew said.

  I felt his warm hands unexpectedly releasing from around my shoulders, and like life was being ripped from me somehow.

  I breathed in deeply. “Andrew I—” I was not sure where to begin but I had no choice but to come clean now.

  Andrew’s expression had slowly progressed into something startling. His eyes widened and became blood red and he looked as though his curiosity was on the edge of fury. “Please…please, spear no details about what your about to say to me Natasha,” Andrew said. He folded his arms and looked straight into my eyes.

  I looked at everyone and breathed in deeply, I couldn’t lie to Andrew anymore. “This baby might…not be yours Andrew, because Brody and I have been seeing each other since summer. It happened more than once but I swear that I…I put a stop to it a few weeks ago!”

  As I finished my sentence, my older brothers, Nicholas and my parents were just in time to witness the confession of my infidelities.

  “Natasha! What is going on here?” Mr. Bishop said.

  Tears fell from my eyes and I wanted Andrew to walk to my arms and just hug me like he had just a few minutes ago. “Andrew!” I said while sobbing.

  But Andrew stormed out of the front yard and started walking up the street before I could even finish explaining.

  I was about to go after him, but my brothers and father held me back and quite frankly, my knees were collapsing.

  My Three Musketeers ran towards me. Then Michael headed towards the front gate after Andrew.

  “I will go after him, Tasha. This white boy bout to get himself robbed walking these streets alone at night,” Michael said.

  I was weeping nonstop when my eyes caught a glimpse of Tubby and his cameraman still filming from the balcony.

  “Would you make them stop filming? Please…please, just stop filming!”

  No Answer

  “It’s been almost eight weeks and Andrew is still not answering me, Lauren.”

  Lauren looked at me and sighed while sitting next to me on my bed.

  I was getting bigger now. But my morning sickness seemed to not want to leave me alone.

  “Tasha, we have all been trying to contact Andrew since the night he left the party. After a while, Michael and Vernon just stopped calling. I still tried texting and can see when he reads my messages, but he just refuses to answer.”

  I slowly tried to get up from lying down. I wanted to go see if I could find him somehow…anywhere. But I was so weak that I fell back down into my bed.

  Lauren looked at me and sighed again.

  “Tasha, just relax in your bed. You have been back at Andrew’s house almost every day since he left. He even changed the locks and started moving his things remember? JC News even said that he is spending most of his time in England and has been spotted all over the country. God knows he is trying to deal with all this in his own way, I guess,” Lauren said.

  I looked into my cousin and batted my eyes at her like a puppy dog.

  “Could you please just check again…please Lauren?”

  Lauren looked at me and groaned. She sat up, took her keys from the table and looked back at me while walking towards the door.

  “Alright. I will just drive by. Not because you used those eyes either, only because I wish you could just, at least, try to forget Andrew and focus on your pregnancy for a while. I doubt that he will be there, anyway.”

  “Thank you, honey,” I said while turning my head unto my pillow and relaxing.

  Lauren tried calling Andrew another time; the second time for the day. She checked to see, if by chance, he had responded to any of her messages. She was becoming exhausted over all of this and feeling as though it was not even her burden to bear.

  Yet, surprisingly and perhaps synchronistically, as she cornered Bucket Street where Andrew lived, she saw his black pick-up parked outside the house.

  She parked her car right in front of his van but didn’t bother to call and tell me as yet. She was afraid that my going there would just escalate things.

  She slowly walked towards the front door and knocked a few times but there was no answer. She opened the door, walked inside and closed it behind her. Lauren saw how cluttered the house was w
ith boxes scattered all over the floors and tables.

  She tip-toed her way into the kitchen, looking around at Andrew’s things and if she could find him.

  “Andrew? Are you here?”

  “What are you doing here?” Andrew exclaimed while coming from the washroom and startling Lauren.

  Lauren jumped and held her chest. She exhaled deeply and looked at him while panting.

  Andrew looked different, leaner and clean shaven, almost ten years younger.

  “Listen, I know that seeing any of us is the last thing that you want right now but…”

  Andrew shook his head looking at Lauren with a dull expression and walked towards the living room. She followed closely behind, trying to keep up with his brisk ‘impatient’ steps because of how angry he still was.

  He started taping the boxes on the table that he had packed with utensils, glasses, and plates.

  “Then, why are you here Lauren? Because it really doesn’t matter what any of you try to do or say to me right now!” He said while placing a second layer of cellophane tape to prevent them from breaking.

  “But if you could just speak to Tasha, just for one minute!”

  Andrew picked up the box and started walking towards the entrance door, but Lauren jumped in front of him before he could pass by her.

  Andrew sighed while holding the box towards his chest and looking down at her.

  “Listen, I have nothing to say to that…little charlatan cousin of yours, alright!” Andrew exclaimed.

  Lauren sighed and looked towards the floor. She had never seen this side to Andrew and did not know how to react. She let him pass her by while she ran quickly behind him.

  “Charlatan? Still always the charming one, huh? Most guys would just say whore! Or slut! Or tramp! And I am quite surprised that you could still ever dare say such a thing about Tasha of all the persons!”

  Andrew stopped suddenly and turned around. He threw the box to floor and breathed deeply.

  “All of those words Lauren, are a perfect description of what your cousin is!”

  Lauren stared at Andrew and saw the same anger overcame him as the day when he first heard that his true love had cheated on him. His eyes became red as he smoldered in anger.