Whiteout Conditions

by Kendel Duncan

  Caysun’s chest rumbled with a laugh.

  One queen bed.

  The room had one queen bed. Not two doubles.

  He hadn’t even thought to ask when he’d gotten it because it was originally just for him.

  “Well, this is cozy,” JD said as he stepped in behind them.

  Brent stepped up next to JD, sliding his hand around JD’s waist. “I think we wrecked this bed when we were dating.”

  “Yeah? I thought his place looked familiar,” JD said.

  Vaughn rolled his eyes, “Gross, guys, that’s just nasty. How the fuck am I supposed to sleep in that bed now?”

  “Oh, were we supposed to sleep in it? I don’t remember doing that at all,” JD said with a chuckle.

  “Who needs sleep when I’ve got a bed and you,” Brent said as he nuzzled his nose over JD’s stubbled cheek. “Hell, I don’t even need a bed. All I need is you.”

  “Aw, babe. You say the sweetest things.”

  “You two can leave now,” Vaughn said.

  JD laughed as he looked over at Vaughn, “You need anything before we go? Food? Snacks? Drinks? Condoms? Lube?”

  Vaughn shoved them both out the door, “Oh my god. Just go.”

  “You’re welcome!” JD called with a wave over his shoulder.

  “Thank you,” Vaughn said, completely serious now.

  The smile left JD’s face as he turned around. “Any time, V. You know that. It was good to see you again,” he said as he wrapped him in a tight hug. JD’s fingers dug into Vaughn’s pocket and he felt his keys slide in.

  He pulled back and looked over JD’s shoulder to Brent, “Nice meeting you, Brent.”

  Brent lifted his chin, “You too. Maybe next time don’t interrupt shit. It puts me in a bad mood when I’m interrupted. I don’t like being in a bad mood.”

  Vaughn smiled, “I’ll do my best.” His eyes moved back to JD, who grinned at him. “Your keys are in your pocket.”

  “I felt that.”

  “And some supplies too.”

  Vaughn rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what kind of supplies JD was talking about. “I won’t be needed them.”

  “You sure about that?” JD said and then his eyes drifted over Vaughn’s shoulder. Vaughn knew exactly who he was looking at.

  Caysun Rourke had a presence about him that you could feel, at least Vaughn could.

  The problem was - he wanted to feel a whole lot more of Caysun Rourke than just his presence.

  Twelve

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Grainger

  The doctor walked into Sy’s room. “Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Farr,” he said and then his steps faltered when he saw Grainger. A scowl marred his otherwise friendly face as he walked over and pulled Sylas’ chart from the end of the bed. He glanced discreetly at Grainger a few times while he read.

  Grainger sighed, “Mason.”

  “Dr. Peele.”

  Grainger rolled his eyes, “We, uh, slept together for six months, Mason. You can’t call me by my first name?”

  “I don’t call anyone who dumps me by their first name,” he snapped. He looked at Sylas, “How are you feeling today, Mr. Thorne.”

  “Still a little sore but much better. And I didn’t dump you so it’s okay to call me Sylas.”

  Grainger snorted a laugh. The doctor ignored him.

  “Your vitals are good. I’m thinking you’re fine to continue your recovery at home, provided you have someone there to monitor you.”

  “He does,” Grainger said before Sylas could open his mouth to say anything.

  “I do?” Sylas said as he turned to him “You’re coming to stay at my place?”

  “No, you’re coming to stay at mine.”

  Sylas flexed his fingers to try to keep the trembling at bay, “But, but….”

  “Sy. Your home got destroyed in the fire, remember?”

  “You mean,” he started, unable at this point to keep the panic from his voice, “all my equipment, my stuff, is gone?”

  Fuck. He was going to have a full-blown panic attack. His computers were the only thing that had kept him connected to the outside world for years. Even though he was trying to venture out more now, it sure as hell didn’t mean he was ready to give up his…..lifeline.

  “Shhh, shhh, babe. It’ll be fine. I can get you a new computer.”

  Sylas shook his head, “No, no, you don’t understand, you don’t….”

  “So, help me understand, Sy. Talk to me.”

  He whimpered and brushed his tears away, “It’ll sound stupid.”

  “Nothing about you could ever sound stupid, Sy. I promise.”

  “They aren’t just computers, they’re my security. They ground me. Each one is configured differently with different social media and gaming accounts, so I don’t have to keep logging in and out. And they’re also my source of income. If they’re gone, I’ll have to reconfigure everything.”

  “They were in the basement, right?”

  Sy nodded.

  “I haven’t been back to your house but maybe they survived the fire. I can go check if you’d like?”

  “Can you , please? I’d be so grateful.”

  “I can do it,” Kelly said.

  “And if anything needs to be replaced, take mine. You know mine are configured the same as yours, Sy. I don’t need them right now,” Cole said.

  “Really? You’d do that for me?”

  Cole smiled, “I think it should be obvious to you that we’d all do anything for you.”

  “But, but why?” Sylas whispered as his eyes darted between Cole and Grainger.

  Cole stepped closer, “Aw, honey, don’t you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “I owe you everything. You’re the one who gave me the strength to face my fears, you’re the one who helped me realize that my anger was controlling me. You’re the one who gave me back my Kelly. I owe you, babe, I owe you everything.”

  “I didn’t do that.”

  “Yes, you did. When I was freaking out over Kelly going on that Op, when I thought I wasn’t strong enough to handle the worry over him getting hurt, you talked me down off the ledge, you helped me see that I was throwing away my only chance at happiness if I let him go. You did that, Sy.”

  Sylas’ eyes turned to Grainger, “But what have I done for you? We barely know each other.”

  Grainger smiled, “I know, and that’s what is so bloody exciting. You’ve given me hope, Sy. Hope for a future, hope for a love that I never thought I deserved. You gave this bitter old man a fighting chance.”

  Sylas snorted, “You’re not old. Wait, how old are you? Oh shit, that was inappropriate, wasn’t it? Can I blame it on the painkillers?”

  Grainger laughed, “How about we blame it on you being so damn cute. I’m thirty-eight. Is that too old for you?”

  Sylas blushed, “No, definitely not. I’m twenty-nine, in case you were wondering.”

  Grainger kissed the tip of Sylas’ nose, “I was but we’ve got plenty of time to get to know each other.”

  “We do, don’t we?”

  Dr. Farr cleared his throat.

  “Sorry, Dr,” Sylas mumbled.

  “Your vitals are good, your drain tube is clear and dry. I’m going to remove it and then send you home with some antibiotics and pain meds. I want you to stay ahead of the pain for at least a few days and then you can wean off the pain meds if you prefer.”

  “Um, I’m already on anxiety meds, both preventive and for flare ups, will that be a problem?

  Dr. Farr shook his head, “No, just watch your intake on the flare up meds when you’re taking the pain meds, okay?”

  “Got it.”

  “Okay, I’m going to grab a nurse to assist with your tube removal and suturing. I’ll be right back.”

  They all watched him walk out.

  “So, he’s your ex, huh? He’s hot,” Sylas said.

  Grainger could hear the unspoken anxiety behind those words;
he’s normal, he’s not like me.

  “He has his issues too, Sy. You of all people should know not to judge a book by its cover. Just because someone looks all put together doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering inside.”

  “You’re right and I’m sorry.”

  “I didn’t end things with him because of those issues though. I ended them because I knew we weren’t right for each other. But know this; your issues, no matter what they are, they do not scare me. Relationships take work, they all do. If we have to work a little harder to make ours work, I’m fine with that. You’re worth it, Sy. You will always be worth it.”

  Nobody had ever said anything like that to Sylas and he wasn’t sure how to process it. His heart felt overwhelmed at the moment. He’d just lost his mom and lost his home and yet he’d also found this beautiful, strong man who, for whatever reason, wanted him….him...Sylas Thorne. He felt like he was falling and he wasn’t sure if he had to figure out how to land on his feet or if someone was going to be there to catch him.

  Maybe it was both……

  Thirteen

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Vaughn

  He eyed Caysun as he walked back into the room and closed the door. “Do I need to cuff you?”

  “On a first date?” Caysun said.

  Vaughn had to turn away to hide his smile. Damn but this man revved him up.

  “Ass,” he mumbled.

  “A damn nice one if I do say so myself.”

  Vaughn rolled his eyes, “Do you ever stop?”

  “Stop what?”

  Vaughn waved his hand in a circle, “This, the flirting?”

  Caysun smirked, “Oh. Yes, I stop.”

  “When?”

  The twinkle in Caysun’s eyes should’ve been illegal. “When….”

  Vaughn’s hand shot up in the air, “DO. NOT. ANSWER. THAT.”

  Caysun batted his eyes with a grin.

  Vaughn sighed and pulled one of the vinyl backed chairs out from the table and sat down. The damn thing looked like it was made in the sixties, probably was.

  “What are you doing here, Caysun?”

  “Here? I’m here because you brought me here. You forgetting shit already, old man?”

  “You know what I mean, Cay. Why did you leave your job?”

  “My life, Deputy. I didn’t just leave my job, I left my entire life behind.”

  “Why?”

  Caysun let out a breath as he sank down onto the end of the bed. His fingers slid through his wavy brown hair, silky hair that fell just above his shoulders, hair that made Vaughn’s fingers itch to slide through it...or grab it tight as he fucked the man’s mouth.

  Fuck, he needed to focus.

  “Let’s just say that the boss and I had a difference of opinion.”

  “And?” Vaughn said.

  “And my position was terminated.”

  “Who decided that?”

  “Me.”

  “Are you going to tell me why?”

  Another sigh, “Yeah. Can we get some food first? I’m starving, and this will take a while.”

  While Vaughn called to order pizza and soda, Caysun stretched his long body out on one side of the bed and closed his eyes.

  Vaughn couldn’t stop staring if he tried.

  Caysun’s thick arms were clasped behind his head, making his already huge biceps bulge even more. And the intricate ink covering them was something that Vaughn could stare at for hours – or, even better, learn them with his tongue. That tongue stuck out from between his lips as his eyes moved lower, down over the curves of Caysun’s pecs, his nipples pushing Cay’s tight t-shirt from the inside as if they were begging to be let out. His shirt hugged his skin, letting Vaughn know that it wasn’t just his imagination that the guy had ripped abs - as if there were ever any doubt about that. After all, Caysun was a muscle man for the Irish mob, at least he used to be.

  It was that reminder that had Vaughn’s perusal stopping before he reached the bulges in Caysun’s jeans - which he knew without a doubt were there….and big. Instead his eyes snapped back up to Caysun’s face, only to find Caysun watching him with laughter in his eyes.

  Before Caysun could say something snarky and hot - which god knew, he would, Vaughn held up his hand, “Don’t. Yes, I was checking you out. I’m gay and you’re hot, of course I’m going to look. My issue is that I need to figure out why.”

  “Why, what?” Caysun said as he rolled to his side, bending his elbow and resting his head on his hand.

  Vaughn did not notice the small patch of creamy skin that was revealed when Cay rolled, or the enticing happy trail that disappeared into the top of Cay’s jeans. He totally did not notice any of that.

  Okay, he totally did.

  Vaughn clasped his hands between his knees and sighed as he looked down at them, “Why you’re different.”

  “Different? From what?”

  Vaughn looked up at him. He really shouldn’t answer that. Caysun was technically still in his custody, even though he wasn’t under arrest for anything. But letting Caysun know how much he affected Vaughn…..it could be something that Cay could easily use against him. It could make him weak, it could compromise him.

  On the other hand, what if Cay was feeling the same thing? How would he know if he didn’t say anything?

  His mouth opened and closed a few times as he wrestled with his decision. Just when he was about to speak, a knock drew their attention to the door.

  Vaughn’s shoulders dropped in relief as he walked over to pull it open.

  “Don’t think this gets you out of answering, Deputy.”

  Vaughn froze with his hand on the doorknob.

  “Your turn first, Rourke,” he said and then he pulled it open.

  He paid for the large pizza and two-liter bottle of soda, closed and locked the door, and turned around.

  “Diet soda? Watching your figure, Deputy? Cause from where I’m standing, it’s looking just fine.”

  Vaughn chuckled as he shook his head, “Just go get us glasses from the bathroom counter, would ya?”

  He set the pizza on the small round table, trying and failing miserably to not stare at Caysun’s ass as he disappeared into the bathroom.

  The smirk that Caysun wore on his face when he walked over to the table told Vaughn that he hadn’t gotten away with anything. Or maybe that smirk was just permanently pasted onto Caysun’s sexy face.

  Either way, Vaughn was so fucked.

  Fourteen

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Vaughn

  Caysun took a seat at the table and reached for a slice of pizza.

  “Tell me why you left, Cay,” he said.

  Caysun froze for a moment before dropping the slice onto the plate.

  “Is this off the record?”

  “Right now, yes.”

  “Am I talking to Deputy Kepler or to Vaughn?”

  “Which do you prefer?”

  Caysun’s eyes scanned down his body, letting Vaughn know exactly where Cay’s mind had gone.

  He reached over and put a hand on Caysun’s arm, “Ima stop you right there. I’m not talking about sex here. I’m asking how you want me to listen - as an officer of the law or as someone who,” he hesitated, taking a deep breath before saying, “wants to be your friend.”

  Caysun’s eyebrow rose.

  Damn, the man brought sexy to a whole new level.

  “Just friend?” he said.

  “For now, yes. I can’t do more right now, Cay, I just can’t”

  “Because of the job?”

  “No,” Vaughn said and then he slid his hand off of Caysun’s arm, reached to his back pocket and slid out his wallet.

  Was he really going to do this?

  Was he really going to lay himself bare to Caysun Rourke, a man he barely knew?

  As his fingers slid his driver’s license out of the way and carefully gripped the photo behind it, he realized, yes he was.

&n
bsp; He slid the weathered photo across the table and stared at Caysun’s face to gauge his reaction.

  Cay sucked in a breath, “Casey?” he whispered with a hitch in his voice, “You knew Casey?”

  Vaughn’s eyes dropped to the photo, the stab of pain in his heart a familiar old friend now, “He’s my brother.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Caysun

  Well hell.

  This thing just took a sharp left turn into…..well, he wasn’t really sure what to call it. The only thing he knew was that shit just got real. Very real.

  A tear slid down one of his cheeks, but he made no move to hide it.

  When Vaughn began to slide his hand away with the picture, Caysun grabbed onto his wrist to stop him. He smiled sadly as he began to speak, “We used to piss everyone off by both of us answering whenever somebody called out our names. Let’s face it, Caysun and Casey are pretty damn close. But it became our own private joke. Casey was my,” he paused.

  “Boyfriend?” Vaughn whispered.

  He shook his head, “No, not like that. You come out in a world like that and you’re as good as dead. But it wasn’t long before we could both sense that we were hiding the same secret. After that, we always looked out for each other. We had each other’s backs. Until….” he whispered and then he shot out of his chair and began pacing back and forth, mumbling something that Vaughn couldn’t hear.

  “Caysun,” he said.

  When he got no response, he pushed his chair back, stood and walked closer to him, “Caysun,” he repeated.

  Caysun froze with a panicked look in his eyes as he stared at Vaughn. After a moment of silence, “Oh God,” he moaned as he collapsed to the floor.

  Vaughn squatted down in front of him, cupped Caysun’s face in his hands and forced the man to look at him, “Tell me.”

  “It’s all my fault. Oh fuck, he’s gone and it’s all my fault!”

  Vaughn’s hands dropped as he too fell on his ass.

  Caysun scrambled to his knees, “I’m gonna be sick,” he moaned as he crawled around the corner and into the bathroom.

  Vaughn could hear him unloading the contents of his stomach but for a moment he couldn’t move.

  He had hoped that Caysun might know something about Casey’s disappearance, but to hear him say it was his fault? That he was somehow responsible? Vaughn didn’t know what to do with that.