Whiteout Conditions

by Kendel Duncan

  It wasn’t until the retching had subsided, the toilet had flushed and then he heard the soft sobs of a broken man, that he was able to get his ass moving.

  He walked into the bathroom, filled a glass with water, handed it to Cay and slid down the wall until he was sitting next to him.

  He put his hand on Caysun’s thigh and squeezed, “Tell me, please. I need to know.”

  Vaughn left his hand there. Why? He wasn’t really sure. All he knew was that he felt it needed to be there….for both of them.

  Cay’s head dropped, his chin on his chest, “It was my fault,” he whispered, again.

  Vaughn tried not growl in frustration, but it was hard. His patience was reaching its limit.

  “I hadn’t gone for months.” Cay whispered.

  “Gone where?”

  “The Backdoor”

  “I take it that’s a gay bar?”

  Cay snorted, “Ya think?” he said then he sighed, “I was just really stressed out and needed a few moments to myself. I didn’t even hook up with anyone while I was there. It was just enough to be there, to feel like I belonged somewhere. To feel like I was me.

  But somebody called my boss anonymously to say that they had seen one of his bodyguards there. The caller couldn’t say which one of us that it was, they said it was too dark, but that they knew for sure it was one of us. How? Never found out. It didn’t matter anyways; the damage was done. O’Toole brought all six of us into a room. Asked us at the same time which one of us, ‘was a twinkle toes.’ Casey and I looked at each other because we knew. We both knew that it was me who had gone out because he had covered for me that night. I opened my mouth to confess but, but, but…….” he stopped talking and started crying softly.

  Vaughn slid his arm around Cay’s shoulder and pulled until his head rested against him, “My brother said it was him.”

  Cay nodded and began crying harder, “Y-y-y-y-yes.”

  Fifteen

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Grainger

  He pulled his Range Rover into the garage next to his Mustang. His gaze flitted to the man in the passenger seat and he frowned. Sylas looked pale and tired. He hoped the doctors knew what they were doing by releasing him.

  “Stay there,” he said.

  A small smile slid over Sylas’ face, “That won’t be a problem,” he said with his eyes closed.

  He climbed out and walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. “Hang on,” he said with a gentle hand on Sy’s arm. He leaned across Sy’s body and pushed the button to release the seat belt. As he started to move back, he heard something that sent a shiver from his head to his toes.

  Sylas sniffed, like a deep inhale. As if he were inhaling Grainger’s scent. Grainger had never realized he was into that, probably because he’d never been with anybody long enough before.

  From the way his dick twitched behind his zipper, he was definitely into it….big time.

  He bit his tongue to keep from smiling or reacting in anyway because he knew that it would only embarrass Sy if he called him on it.

  He wanted to say something, wanted to in the worst way, and maybe he would….one day. But not now.

  He grabbed the two plastic bags at Sy’s feet, one with his prescriptions, fresh bandages and instructions for care. The other with Sy’s clothes, his cell phone and his wallet. He slowly slid his arm behind Sy’s back. When he began sliding the other arm, the one with the bags clutched tightly in his hand, underneath Sy’s knees, Sylas gasped, “Wh-wh-what are you doing?”

  “I’m going to carry you inside.”

  “But, but, I can walk?” he said as a question.

  “Sy, think of how much it hurt for you to take the three steps from the wheelchair to the car. It’s a hell of a lot more than three to get you inside and upstairs.”

  Suddenly Sylas was no longer pale because he was blushing profusely.

  “Sy?”

  His eyes remained glued to his hands, which were resting in his lap. “Hmm?”

  “Sy?” he said again as his way of letting Sylas know that he needed eye contact.

  Sylas got the message and lifted his eyes, “What?”

  “We can wait here until Cole and Kelly arrive and one of them can carry you inside, if that would make you more comfortable?”

  Sylas gave this adorable snort and then he blushed even more.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Just picturing Cole trying to carry me.”

  He smiled, “Okay, then would you prefer it if Kelly carried you.”

  “No,” he whispered.

  “Then are you okay with me carrying you?”

  Sylas’ eyes lifted and locked with his, “Yes.”

  “Okay, then here we go.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Sylas

  Was it possible to both die of embarrassment and be thrilled into a spontaneous orgasm at the same time?

  If he wasn’t in so much pain, he thought maybe it was.

  Grainger was the first man, the first person, in his life that he wanted to be strong for, that he wanted to be normal for. Right now, being cradled in Grainger’s strong arms he felt warm and safe and protected and, dare he think it….loved.

  But he also worried about how helpless he looked to Grainger.

  Grainger deserved someone who was and equal.

  Not a burden.

  “Hey,” Grainger said, his steps slowing. He waited until Sylas’ eyes lifted, “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”

  “How do you know I’m not thinking something good?”

  “If you were, I’d be seeing that beautiful smile that I adore. Right now, you’re frowning.”

  His eyes went wide, “You, you like my smile?”

  “Babe, I’d walk through fire to see that smile.”

  He smiled and rested his head onto Grainger’s shoulder. With a sigh, he whispered, “I just want to be strong for you.”

  Grainger froze….and was that a growl in his chest?

  His head snapped up, eyes on that chest before lifting up to find Grainger now frowning at him.

  “A weak person never would’ve started seeing my sister, a weak person would’ve put their mother in a home the second things got difficult, a weak person,” Grainger paused, his chest hitching a sob, “A weak person would’ve died in my arms, Sy. You’re injured Sy, not weak. There is not a damn thing weak about you.”

  A tear slid down his cheek as he nodded his head and dropped it back to Grainger’s shoulder.

  Maybe he could be the man that Grainger deserved.

  Sixteen

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Caysun

  He was quiet, his sobs having softened into silence several minutes ago.

  Vaughn’s fingers were sifting through his soft hair, “Were you there?” Vaughn said, “when they, they took him away?”

  Vaughn still refused to even think for one second that his brother was dead. He was alive, out there, somewhere. He had to believe that.

  Cay’s body stiffened, “No. It’s the first time in ten years of working for that bastard that I stood up to him.”

  When Vaughn asked his next question, it felt like it had been carved from his chest with a spoon, “Do you know what happened to him? Do you know where he is?”

  He shook his head, “No. I tried to find out because I wanted to try to save him or to at least…..” he trailed off. The both knew what he wasn’t saying.

  “But….”

  “But what?” Vaughn said.

  “No, it’s nothing.”

  “Cay, please, just tell me.”

  “O’Toole’s M-O would normally be to….to…eliminate a problem like that. But I always got the feeling that he hadn’t done that with Casey, that he had him somewhere and was teaching him a lesson or something.”

  “A lesson?” Vaughn whispered, his heart pounding even harder in his chest.

  “Yeah, like he was s
etting an example for the rest of us.”

  Vaughn scrambled away from him so fast it took him a few seconds to realize that Vaughn was gone.

  When his eyes turned, they found Vaughn sitting in the open doorway, his fingers scrabbling to pull the collar of his t-shirt down so hard that he was leaving scratch marks on his neck.

  Before he could move to stop him, Vaughn had closed his hand around a silver chain and pulled it out. Cay didn’t know what was hanging on the end of it because it was clutched too tightly in Vaughn’s meaty palm.

  Vaughn’s eyes were….empty, staring at him but not, as if he were caught in a memory.

  Very slowly, he began to move towards him until, with his legs crossed, his knees were touching Vaughn’s. He put his hands on Vaughn’s thighs, rubbing up and down gently.

  “Vaughn?”

  No response.

  He reached up and gently closed his hands over Vaughn’s, “Babe?”

  He tried to ignore how easily that word had fallen from his lips.

  It seemed that everything came easy and felt natural, when it came to Vaughn.

  Vaughn’s gaze finally focused on his face.

  “Can I see?” he whispered, squeezing his hands around Vaughn’s to let him know what he was talking about.

  Vaughn glanced down as he slowly opened his fingers. Inside there were two items hanging from the chain - identical in every way. Both infinity symbols with the words ‘Brothers Forever’. It was then that he saw that Vaughn had the same symbol tattooed on the inside of his wrist, beneath it was a yin-yang tattoo with the initials V and C inside.

  “You were close?” he said, rubbing his thumb over the ink.

  Vaughn watched his thumb move as he nodded, “Had to be. We watched out for each other.”

  He frowned as his eyes snapped up to lock with Vaughn’s, the silent question hanging between them.

  “Step-dad didn’t take too kindly to having two queers for sons,” Vaughn said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Vaughn turned away, “Not your fault.”

  “I know, but I still hate that the two of you had to go through that.”

  Vaughn’s head snapped back, a frown marring his otherwise handsome face, “Why?”

  He barely refrained from rolling his eyes, “Vaughn, I loved him like a brother too. He never said anything about his past, but I could tell. I could tell that it was hard. And I could tell that he missed someone very much, like half of his soul was gone. I wanted to comfort him, wanted desperately to help him, but I couldn’t. Hell, I could barely talk to him without fear of getting caught. But I knew him, and he knew me. We held endless silent conversations with our eyes. So even though we didn’t talk to each other, I knew him, Vaughn. I knew him and now I know you.”

  “How?”

  “Because your eyes say everything, just like his did.”

  Tears pooled in Vaughn’s eyes, “I’ve been held, Cay. Before I joined the Marshal Service, I was DEA, before that Special Ops. My partner and I in the DEA were fed bad intel about a house we were going to search. We were told it was empty, it wasn’t. They were waiting for us. They killed my partner, shot me and then took me with them. Two months, Cay. They tortured me for two months. If Casey is out there, it’s been almost six fucking months. Even if we find him, he’ll never be the same. How could he be?”

  He cupped his hand on Vaughn’s cheek, “First we find him, then we help him, okay?”

  “We?”

  “Yes, we,” he said as he pushed to his feet. He held his hand out for Vaughn, “Come on. Let’s go eat that pizza, yeah?”

  Vaughn clamped that hand around his sending an unfamiliar feeling careening through his body that made him instantly wonder how he’d ever done without it - he craved it, yearned for it. And the moment that Vaughn was on his feet and he dropped Cay’s hand?

  He wondered how he was supposed to survive without it.

  Seventeen

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Grainger

  The closer he got to his bedroom door, the more his footsteps slowed. The only reason being that he didn’t want Sylas to leave his arms.

  Ridiculous? Kinda.

  Pathetic? Probably

  But he didn’t care.

  He shifted Sylas enough so that he could get his hand on the doorknob and then he pushed it open and walked inside.

  Sy’s head lifted and he slowly looked around, “This is your guest room?”

  “No, it’s my room.”

  Sy tried to push out of Grainger’s arms, “Grainger Peele, I am not taking your room away from you!” he said, wincing from his effort.

  “You aren’t, I’m giving it to you and stop that before you hurt yourself.”

  “Giving it to me? Where are you going to sleep?”

  “That’s something that we need to discuss. Can you push the blankets over?”

  He leaned forward so Sy could shove the blankets out of the way. Once they were moved, he carefully set Sylas down.

  “I’m really not….oh my god, this bed feels like a cloud!” Sylas said with a groan so sexy it made Grainger’s dick twitch….again.

  He grinned as he carefully slid his arms out. “Are you good? Comfortable?”

  For a moment, Sylas didn’t answer. His eyes were closed as he caressed his fingers over the soft fluffy white comforter. He watched those slender fingers and his brain couldn’t help conjuring up an image of those fingers caressing something else.

  He cleared his throat.

  Fuck.

  He was usually a man completely in control of himself.

  But around Sylas Thorne?

  He felt like a damn teenager at a naked pool party.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Sylas

  His hands froze and then he slowly looked up, blushing as he realized that he was pretty much groping Grainger’s comforter.

  But, damn, the thing felt like velvet, kind of the way he imagined the skin on Grainger’s dick felt.

  Fuck, did he say that out loud?

  His eyes went wide, and he clamped a hand over his open mouth.

  Grainger was so stoic that he couldn’t tell from the man’s appearance if he had said it or not.

  “You need more pillows?”

  Sy exhaled a sigh of relief, “No, I, uh, I’m good.”

  “Do you mind if I check your bandage?”

  He glanced down his torso, “Oh, uh, no, that’s fine. Go ahead.”

  His heart pounded in his chest as he watched Grainger slowly push his t-shirt up. His fingers gently probed around the edges of the bandage until Sy sucked in a sharp breath and then giggled.

  Grainger froze and looked up at him.

  Blushing again, he whispered, “Sorry, ticklish.”

  Grainger smiled as he lowered Sy’s shirt, “Noted,” he said, “Your bandage looks good. I’m going to go make you some soup for lunch. I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”

  “Oh, okay. But I thought we were going to talk about where you’re going to sleep?”

  Grainger leaned down until his chest was almost touching Sy’s nose as he fluffed the pillows behind him.

  “We will, Sy, when I get back.”

  Then his lips were against Sy’s ear, “But right now that velvet you mentioned is surrounding rock hard steel, so I need a few minutes to get myself under control.”

  Sy sucked in a breath as Grainger pulled back, smiling as he looked into his eyes. He pressed a kiss to Sy’s forehead and then he turned and left the room.

  “Oh my god, just kill me now.” he said with a groan.

  He heard Grainger laughing as he walked down the hall.

  He must’ve dozed off because the next thing he knew Grainger was walking back in the room with a full tray.

  He hesitated for a moment, looking between the tray and Sylas. “Will, um, will you let me feed you?”

  Sylas’ first instinct was to say no because he didn’t want to be seen as weak and u
nable to care for himself. But then he saw the look of longing in Grainger’s eyes, a look so powerful that it told him that Grainger wasn’t doing this for Sylas, he was doing it for himself, as if taking care of Sy made him feel…...valid.

  That thought had him nodding his head, “Okay.”

  He could tell Grainger was debating where the best place was for him to do this - on the edge of the bed or somewhere else, so he patted the bed next to him, “Come sit next to me?”

  Smiling, Grainger walked around the end of the king size bed and sat with his back against the headboard, placing the tray over his thighs.

  He saw the bottle of pain medication, “I really don’t want to take those. They make me loopy.”

  “I know, Sy, but you need to. You have to stay ahead of the pain.”

  He sighed, “I know.”

  Grainger picked up the bowl and blew on the liquid inside.

  He couldn’t help staring at Grainger’s full lips when he did that, and imagining them somewhere else…like wrapped around his dick.

  He must’ve made a sound because Grainger’s head snapped to the left, “You okay?”

  He sighed again because what was the point of pretending anymore? He wanted this man. Grainger turned him on more than anyone ever had, and he hadn’t even touched him yet.

  “I like your lips.”

  Grainger pursed them, “My lips?”

  Sy waved his hand, “Yeah, your lips. Well, actually I like this whole thing you’ve got going on.”

  Grainger smirked, “This, this, what thing?”

  He rolled his eyes because wasn’t it obvious? “Tall, handsome, incredibly sexy, you know….this,” he said waving his hand again.

  Grainger chuckled, “Oh. Well, I like this whole thing you’ve got going on too.”

  “Me?” he said with an embarrassing squeak in his voice.

  “Yes, you. Sweet, sexy,”

  He snorted a laugh but that didn’t stop Grainger from continuing.

  “incredibly smart, adorable and, you know…..this,” he finished waving his hand over Sy’s body.