Kill or be Killed (Mafia Kingpin Book 1)

by A. G. Khaliq

  Sudden anger rushed over me. I took deep breaths in and out, trying to get myself together. I couldn't let Steve ruin my birthday… You only turn sixteen once, and I needed to make the most of it.

  Let's deffo do something tonight, I texted Keelan. How about we throw a last minute party?

  Mum came over to me, putting her arm around me. “Steve's gone sweetheart, I'm sorry...” She broke off her sentence, sighing.

  I drew in a deep breath, but then shook it off. I tried my best to stay positive. “Don't worry about it Mum,” I smiled. “Keelan's throwing a party for me later. It's fine.”

  Mum smiled at me, looking reassured. “Aww, have fun! Don't stay out too late.”

  “I'm sixteen now Mum!” I remarked, laughing. “I'm gonna go out now, yeah? I'll text you when I'm coming home.”

  Mum nodded in approval, and I made my way out of the house.

  I went over to Keelan's house.

  "My g!" he exclaimed. "Happy birthday!"

  "Safe my g," I replied, spudding him. "Look, my stepdad's done me over. He said he was gonna take me out but he isn't. D'you reckon it's too late to invite everyone for the party?"

  "Are you mad?" Keelan replied. "I posted the Facebook status as soon as you texted me. Everyone from school's coming."

  "Keelan you're the best man!" I exclaimed. "So we're having the party at your house right? Cos I know my mum will have a go if we have it at hers."

  "Yeah, yeah, course man. We'll have banging tunes and we'll order some takeaway." He paused. "I'll see if I can get my brother to get us some drinks as well."

  "That's smashing g," I said. "I'm sorry for being a dick recently man, I don't appreciate you enough."

  "Don't move moist with me Louis," he laughed. "It's no problem man. We're a team."

  It was nearly time for the party. Keelan had ordered lots of pizza, chicken and chips. I'd changed into a checked shirt and some really nice jeans, and gelled my hair, putting on some Hugo Boss aftershave. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I actually looked good.

  I went downstairs to see Keelan's brother walk in with the drinks. Everything was perfect. I got the speakers and connected my phone's playlist to play Bugzy Malone, Mist, MoStack, Stormzy and J Hus tracks. It was 9 o'clock and people were starting to arrive.

  I stood at the front door, welcoming everybody in.

  “Happy birthday Louis!” said Jason.

  “Thanks Jason!” I exclaimed, and he walked inside.

  “Happy birthday my g,” Rocco smiled.

  “Thanks Rocco!”

  “Happy birthday you absolute legend,” Thomas grinned.

  “Thanks Thomas!”

  “Happy birthday big man,” said Ruiz.

  “Thanks Ruiz,” I replied, laughing.

  Everyone wished me happy birthday in turn. Everyone made it to the living room to give me presents. I turned up the music really loud and we all started eating and dancing.

  Everybody was enjoying themselves, letting their hair down, and having a good time. I hadn’t felt so good in years. Having everybody all in a house together, having fun, laughing and giggling, gossiping about shit, some kissing, some drinking, and some dancing.

  It felt good. For the first time after years…

  I felt truly happy.

  By now, I was on my 5th shot of my vodka and cranberry drink, and I felt so fucking waved. The next song came on, Rain by Aitch and AJ Tracey, and I bopped my head to the beat.

  As I looked around the room, I saw a girl with wild bright red hair, bright blue eyes, who was wearing a bralette paired with black leggings and sneakers. She dressed casually, but she was still effortlessly sexy. She was staring right at me, biting her lip and teasing me with her cleavage.

  It was Maddy, a really pretty girl, who was from my science class. She was one of the few girls in our school who wasn't actually a sket, and didn’t try to fuck every man that breathes, or steal other girls’ boyfriends. Me and her had good banter at school. She was really nice – she was probably the only girl I could actually stand talking to without getting bored.

  I stared back at her, eyeing her body up and down, and she scratched her arm, blushing. It was cute how she was getting all shy. I saved her from having to come over to me, because she already looked worked up enough just by looking at me. I walked over… but my walk was more like a strut, because of the amount of alcohol I had to drink. She smiled at me, scratching her arm as she bit her lip and held her gaze with mine.

  “You alright?” I smiled.

  “Yeah I'm fab,” she said sheepishly, and then coughed. “You look so good, by the way.”

  I chuckled. She was fucking adorable. “Thank you!” I replied, with my hands on my hips. “You look gorgeous!”

  She blushed. “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” I grinned. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

  She blushed again, her cheeks going as red as her hair was. “Thank you!”

  “Can I get you a drink?” I offered, smiling.

  “Yeah, one wouldn't hurt,” she confirmed.

  I took two cans from the table, and the alcohol was giving me the confidence boost that I needed. I took her hand in mine and she blushed again.

  “Let's go to the garden,” I whispered against her ear, and she nodded, scratching her neck sheepishly.

  It was only half an hour into the party and me and Maddy were just in the garden, lying against a tree, kissing.

  "You're so beautiful," I murmured. "So so beautiful."

  She kept giggling. I slipped my arms around her waist, and then my phone started to ring.

  “You should get that,” she murmured against my mouth.

  “It can wait,” I moaned, kissing her harder and grabbing her ass.

  "Oh why does it have to ring now?" It wouldn't stop. "Stop will you, goddammit!"

  Maddy drew away from me as I reached for my phone. "Who is it?" she asked.

  I looked at the screen to see that it was Steve. I couldn't be arsed with his bullshit right now, all his "sorry"'s, and "I'll make it up to you"'s. I clicked reject on the call and turned back to Maddy.

  "Nobody important," I smiled, leaning back to her face again. She giggled, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  I turned around to see Steve, who was towering behind me in a dark blue hoodie and ripped jeans. "What are you doing here?" I snapped.

  "You didn't answer my calls," Steve remarked. "You're coming with me now."

  "It's my birthday," I shouted. "I'm not going anywhere."

  "Stop making a fuss and come with me," Steve said calmly.

  I sighed, long and hard, fucking angry that he’d interrupted me in the middle of me kissing a girl that I actually liked. Steve rolled his eyes.

  "Fine," I muttered. I turned to Maddy. "I'm really sorry, Mads. I'll speak to you soon, yeah?"

  "It's fine," she smiled, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "Definitely."

  I gave her a peck on the cheek and she gave me one on my cheek in return, and Steve made a retching sound behind me. Immature bastard, after the amount of times I’d walked in on him and Mum making out.

  I followed Steve out of the garden and to his car. He shoved me inside and shut the door, hard.

  "What is it?" I said loudly, agitated with Steve at this point. He just wouldn’t let me fucking live my life.

  "There's a yute who's found out about my business," Steve said quietly, his tone dropping down to barely a whisper. "He saw everything that was going on in my house.” Steve took a deep breath in. “Everything,” he repeated.

  "Why's that my problem?" I asked bitterly, suddenly even more pissed off than I already was. Me and Steve had moved past talking about the Mafia and his criminal organisation. So why the fuck was he bringing it up now all of a sudden, when it had been two whole years that we’d gone without saying a word about it?!

  “I thought you didn't want to involve me in your problems?” I snapped. “Thought I was too young? Cos that’s what you
said, remember.” I folded my arms angrily, suddenly wondering why I even bothered with this pathetic excuse of a man.

  "You were too young," Steve replied, rolling his eyes. “But that’s not the point. I haven’t got time to fucking argue with you.” He took another deep breath in, and I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. What the hell did he want from me?!

  “If you don’t want to argue…” I began. “Then why have you dragged me here?” I crossed my arms awkwardly, a timid expression on my face. I could feel my heart thumping against my chest… because I just knew that what I was about to hear wasn’t going to be fucking pleasant.

  “Listen, I need this yute taken care of,” Steve murmured.

  "How do you mean?" I asked uncertainly, my heart throbbing so hard now that it felt like it was about to jump out of my body.

  Steve leaned over towards my ear. "Kill him," he whispered. "I want that yute dead. Dead, do you hear me?"

  "Kill him?" I repeated, gulping. I didn’t know what to say. I could feel my blood run cold. It felt like my heart had stopped beating.

  Steve hadn’t meant what he said when he said he was going to keep me out of his organisation. Keep me away from the Mafia. He was just waiting for me to get a little older, so that he could groom me into living his lifestyle… and the thought of it fucking terrified me. That he’d planned this whole thing. He’d been waiting for the right moment for me to step up, and I felt sick to my stomach. He wanted me to kill somebody… because I wasn’t a kid anymore. I needed to get out of here, fast. Fast, before Steve said another word. Sure, I might have done some fucked up things in my time. Robberies, and fights…

  But I’d never killed anyone.

  And that was something that I never intended doing, either.

  “I'm not killing anyone,” I mumbled. “I'm staying out of this. Do this yourself.” I quickly reached for the handle to the car door, rattling it, but it jammed in place. It felt like I was suffocating. Like the walls were closing in on me…

  And I was trapped with a monster.

  Steve grabbed my arm and shoved me back into place. "You are to kill that boy," he repeated. "You owe this to me Louis. After everything I've done for you, every battle I've fought for you. All the help I've given to your mum, all the presents I've given you."

  "Blackmailing me now are you?" I retorted bitterly.

  "If you don't kill this boy," Steve said, "I will make sure you and your mum suffer the consequences."

  "Don't you dare do anything to Mum!" I shouted, spitting on his face. The thought of him laying his hands on her was enough to make my blood boil to the point it almost dried up. I had to protect my Mum… "Don't you dare!"

  "You're going to have to listen to me then, aren't you Louis?" said Steve.

  I took deep breaths in and out.

  Deep breath in.

  Deep breath out…

  Deep breath in.

  Deep breath out…

  Deep breath in.

  Deep breath out…

  It felt like I was having a panic attack, and life was suddenly hitting me at 180 miles per hour. Life was coming at me too fucking fast. I wasn’t prepared to do something as ungodly as this. I wasn’t prepared to kill somebody… If I did, I would be robbing that person of their life.

  Only God can give and take life.

  I would be robbing his mother and father of a son.

  Just like Ellie’s mother and father were robbed of a daughter.

  I would be robbing his friends of somebody they could always count and rely on.

  Oh heavenly Father, forgive me… For I have sinned.

  I knew I didn't have a choice.

  I also knew that what I was going to do was terrible.

  The lesser of two evils, right?

  I was destroying another family… in order to save my own.

  Forgive me, Father.

  It was time.

  When the clock strikes one.

  In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

  "F - fine," I stammered, sweat beading on my forehead, and dripping down my face, pit-pattering into tiny droplets on the floor. It felt like time had stopped, and the world had stopped rotating around me. "What do I have to do?"

  Steve began to give me all of the details of the boy… He was wearing a navy shirt, black jeans and a silver hip-hop chain. He had blonde hair, white skin and light stubble on his face.

  And it was then that I realised… This boy was at the party right now.

  CHAPTER 10

  BAD DEEDS

  LOUIS

  "Don't let me down," Steve called from the car as I got out.

  I made my way back into the house. My pulse was raising through the roof. My whole body felt like it was on fire with nerves. I couldn’t comprehend what I was about to do. I couldn’t believe I was going to kill somebody. But I knew that Steve was a dangerous man. A crime boss… And the last thing I wanted to do was get on the wrong side of him. To cross him.

  Because if I did, I would be six feet under just like Ellie was.

  I walked into the kitchen, my arms and legs shaking as the sweat flooded my body. I slowly took my gaze off from the floor to look around at who was in the kitchen… and I saw Keelan on the bench-top, lip-locked with a girl.

  Not just any girl…

  He had his tongue rammed down Maddy’s throat.

  They looked like they were fucking eating each other, and I felt sick. I felt sick to my stomach that this was the girl I’d just kissed for nearly an hour earlier… And now she was doing the same to my best friend.

  Let’s just say my birthday had been ruined in more ways than one.

  As she saw me walk in, she jolted backwards.

  "Louis!" she cried out. “I... I think I've had too much to drink.” She drew in a deep breath. “I didn't mean to kiss Keelan, I really didn't.”

  "Oh just fuck off," I spat bitterly. "I thought you were different and you're just a sket like the others."

  I felt harsh for calling her a sket, when she wasn’t one. She didn’t owe me anything. We weren’t together as a couple, we were just two people who vibed together at school. At the end of the day, she didn’t owe me anything.

  Maddy started crying. I was past caring at this point. The damage was already done, so I didn’t bother to apologise. I was under enough pressure already… trying to keep it together before I had to kill somebody. I had to try and stop myself from having a fucking panic attack. It felt like I was hallucinating, and the walls were closing in on me. Like I was in a bad dream… and I couldn’t wake up. There was darkness everywhere I went.

  Keelan got up from the tabletop, staring at me awkwardly. "I'm sorry bro,” he said, taking his head in his hands. “I had no fucking clue that you both had a thing going on. If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have kissed her. I feel like shit, I don’t want us to fall out, man…” Keelan took a deep breath in. “Our friendship is worth too much than to throw it away over a girl. I promise, I won’t go near her again.”

  "It doesn't matter bro," I replied quickly, trying my best to sound reassuring. “You can do what you like. I don’t care about her. We’re still good.”

  Keelan smiled, relieved. He narrowed his eyes at me, rubbing his chin in thought. “Hey Louis?”

  “Yeah?” I responded, my chest heaving upwards and downwards.

  “You look ill, bro. You’ve gone so pale…” said Keelan, concerned. “Are you okay? Do you want me to get my brother to take you home?”

  “I – I’m fine, bro,” I stammered. “I’ve just had too much to drink, and I’m feeling a bit sick.”

  Keelan continued to stare at me, crossing his arms unimpressed, but then he decided to just let it go. “Understood, bro,” he shrugged. “I’ll be outside if you need me. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

  “Thanks bro,” I said quickly, and he smiled at me, before walking out of the room.

  I didn't want to fall out with Keelan. I didn't care for Maddy. I just had to
kill this guy for Steve.

  But this guy wasn't any guy. This guy was Thomas. I'd known him since primary school, and although we didn't speak as much as we used to, he was still my friend. I'd never be able to live with myself.

  Thomas was one of the only guys who stood up for me, back in primary school. I was only 7 years old… All of the kids in the class were white, while I was the only mixed race kid, half black and half white. Everybody picked on me and made fun of me, calling me racist names, but Thomas stood by me, trying to stop the other kids from being ignorant. He was the only friend I had back then. He made me feel appreciated, out of the many people that didn’t.

  And this was what I was going to do to him. All because of my bastard of a stepfather. And I hated Steve for making me do this. I’d never be able to move on with my life… It was hard enough losing Ellie, when she wasn’t even my friend. Imagine how I would feel, knowing that I’d killed my own friend?

  The moment would replay itself to me over and over in all the years to come, like a form of torture. I’d get nightmares, and feel endless paranoia. I’d always be fucking miserable.

  I needed to get this over-with, instead of prolonging it and making myself feel even worse than I already did. I took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. I needed to get my head straight.

  I slowly got a knife out of the drawers and hid it underneath my jacket. I tried to look everywhere for Thomas. I walked into the main room of the house, where everybody was still busy dancing and listening to the music. I checked upstairs… but poor Keelan would be in for a shock when he found out that people were using the bedrooms in his house to have sex and make out. I quickly ran back downstairs, and went outside, because that was the only place left that Thomas could be. I knew he hadn’t left the party yet, because I hadn’t seen him leave…

  And then I saw him, slumped against the same tree that I was smooching Maddy on earlier. He looked miserable, and he was drinking beer on his own. I guess none of his friends came to the party, and this just made the guilt eat me up inside even more. He’d only come for me… Being the good friend that he was.