My Crazy Life

by Katrina Kahler

Ruby put a hand on my shoulder. “I get it. Stress can do strange things to the human mind.”

  “But…” Frank started to say.

  I cut him down with a look before he could say. “But she’s not human…”

  Frank stammered backward and said, “Yep, good old Nina is as human as they come.”

  “Come on, let’s all get to class!” Ruby said.

  The idea of class had never felt so appealing to me.

  Nina Note: Sure, I angered a coach who thought I was rude to him when I was really yelling at a Glitter, but I could use this to my advantage. Once I was alone in the locker room with the coach and the Glitter, I could get it away from him.

  It looked like I might have made enemies out of Randi and Sandi, but I was pretty certain I could easily deal with a couple of cheerleaders. They were trying to be nice in their own shallow way, but I so wanted to mind zap them.

  Right now, my biggest concern was Jimmy and my feelings towards him. I’ve never felt this way about a boy before. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before. Now that couldn’t be right. Could it? It sure felt right.

  Chapter 7: Detention Attention

  After the school day was over, Ruby walked me to the gym. She even offered to stay and walk home with me afterward, since I would now miss the bus. I told her I would be okay; I’m a big girl. Besides, Frank would walk home with me.

  Frank wanted to stay after school and hit balls with the team. I am sure the team would be wowed. Kind of embarrassing that my man-made brother was better with people than I was.

  Walking into the coach’s office, I had to concentrate. I needed to get rid of this Glitter and free the coach from its influence. I felt glad that it would be just the coach and me.

  Imagine my surprise when I got to the office and saw Jimmy and Barb Bash both sitting there. “What are you two doing here?” I asked.

  “You’re not the only bad girl in the school,” Barb said. “Teachers send me here because that don’t like me telling them that they are dumber than me. Hardly a class goes by when I don’t have to correct a teacher. Some of them take it more personally than others.”

  “Barb, you called Mr. Brown, the English teacher, a total dumb dolt,” Jimmy said.

  Barb rolled her eyes. “Please. The man thinks War and Peace is an overrated novel. The man should be teaching English to dogs.”

  I looked at Jimmy. I tried not to smile. I failed. “Why are you here?”

  Jimmy sat back in his chair. “I asked Coach J if I could help. I told him I thought it would help build my character. He liked that.”

  I smiled.

  Nina Note: Normally, I would love having company when it came to cleaning dirty towels, but having Jimmy and Barb here would certainly complicate my getting rid of the Glitter, which, in itself, would be pretty complicated, to begin with.

  I sat down between Jimmy and Barb. Jimmy smiled at me. Barb sighed. She stuck a finger in her mouth.

  “If you two want privacy so you can flirt and make lovey eyes at each other, I will gladly throw a dirty towel over my face,” she told us.

  Coach J walked into the office. “There will be nobody throwing any dirty towels over anyone’s face. That is totally unsanitary. You will each wear gloves, masks, and smocks as you take the towels from the hampers and put them in the washers. Once in the washers, you will measure the perfect amount of washing powder and turn on the washers. After a cycle is complete you will move the towels to the dryers, and then dry them. Once that is complete, you will fold those towels!” he said, much like a drill sergeant would. “Any questions?”

  Barb raised her hand.

  “Yes, Barb?” the coach asked.

  “How have you remained single for so long?” Barb asked.

  The coach shrugged. Not picking up on the sarcasm in her voice, “Just lucky I guess”.

  “Coach, how long will this take?” Jimmy asked.

  Coach looked at his watch. “I estimate two hours!”

  “What do we do while we wait?” Barb asked.

  “You will study under my tutelage,” Coach answered. “I am a trained educator.”

  Coach looked at me. “You, new girl. You seem quiet now.”

  Tapping my fingers on the desk I said slowly, “Well, Coach, I’m trying to figure out the best way to handle this,” I said.

  Coach J laughed. “There is no best way. You are going to be carrying and loading a bunch of dirty towels. I already told you, you put on a smock, gloves, mask and get to work.” He shook his head. “Kids today don’t understand work.”

  “Oh, you’d be surprised,” I said. Looking at Coach J, I could see the Glitter hanging over him dotting him with more glitter. I had scared it off for a bit but not away. I was guessing that Glitters didn’t scare easily.

  The coach gave us a goofy smile. “I think I’ll call the principal and tell him what a big fat bottom he has.” He put a finger to his lips thinking. “Then maybe I’ll go to the ATM take out all my money and go on a vacation to the North Pole. Or better yet, maybe I can rob a bank?”

  Yeah, I couldn’t let this go on any longer. I had to make a desperate move.

  “Jimmy and Barb, go to sleep!” I ordered.

  The two of them closed their eyes and put their heads down on the desk.

  I stood up.

  “What is going on here?”, the coach asked in a loud and shaky tone.”

  “Leave my coach alone!” I ordered the Glitter.

  The Glitter glided over to me. “I am having fun with your coach. We love having fun with silly humans. The more we confuse, the stronger we grow. Soon the world will be all confusion.”

  Coach looked confused. “New girl, who are you talking to?”

  “Go to sleep, coach!” I ordered.

  The coach dropped his head and started to snore.

  Turning, I saw my Grandma standing there. “Grandma, what are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Don’t worry honey, I am a ghost. Nobody can see me,” she said. “I’m here to help.”

  “Who are you talking to, stupid vampire tiger?” the Glitter demanded.

  “Even that thing can’t see me,” Grandma said.

  “I appreciate you being here, but what can you do to possibly help? You can’t touch anything.”

  “No, but I was a gypsy, and I know a trick or three or four or more!” Grandma pointed at my Glitter and chanted, “Glitter controlling the coach’s brain, you may no longer remain!”

  “Man, that was a BAD rhyme!” I said.

  Grandma pointed to the Glitter it started pulsating, growing and shrinking.

  “Yeah, but it worked!” Grandma said.

  The Glitter took human shape. “I can fight too!” it laughed.

  “Now what do I do?” I asked.

  “What comes naturally to vampires!” Grandma said.

  My fangs dropped from my mouth, I moved forward lightning fast. The Glitter swung at me. I caught its arm. I bit into the arm. Much to my surprise, I was able to grab hold of the Glitter. I chomped down. I breathed in, absorbing the Glitter. Wow. I felt good!

  Jimmy, Coach J, and Barb all snapped awake. “What was I saying?” Coach J said.

  “You said you’ve figured out we’ve learned our lessons and we are free to go home now,” I told the coach. “You will gladly pick up and clean all the smelly towels...after all, you are happy that we have learned our lesson. Your job is complete.”

  Coach J nodded and grinned. “Yes, that does sound like me. Teacher and coach and life example!”

  “Bad life example,” Barb snickered.

  Coach J pointed at her. “Life example never the less!” he said proudly.

  He waved towards the door. “Now you kids go, have fun. The world is yours.” He looked at me. “You know Thorn, I had you pegged wrong. I thought you might be a bad egg. You know what I mean...someone who came from a big city and thinks they are all that and a bag of chips!”

  “I’m really not like that,” I said.
/>   Coach J beamed. “Yes, I can tell now. You are truly a wonderful person!”

  “Ah, okay…” I said.

  “What about me coach?” Barb asked cynically.

  The coach looked at her. “Truthfully, young lady, I am scared of you,” he said.

  Barb stood up. “I can live with that.” She walked out of the room and said, “See ya losers!”

  “Ah, she’s got a nickname for me!” the coach said. “How sweet.”

  Jimmy walked up to the coach. “Coach, are you okay?”

  The coach gave him a stupid grin. “Never better. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders and my gut. I feel wonderful.” Coach did a standing jump onto his desk. “Wow, I haven’t done one of those in years.”

  Grandma looked at me. “Honey, apparently when we got rid of that Glitter creature we cleaned the coach of some excess baggage. Good job!” she told me.

  “I guess,” I said.

  “You guess what?” Jimmy asked me.

  “I guess it’s time for us to leave,” I said.

  “Oh, good cover honey,” Grandma said.

  “Come on, I’ll walk you home,” Jimmy said.

  “I’d like that!” I said with more pep than I would have liked.

  “Funny I have a weird image in my mind of me, Barb and the coach all sleeping,” Jimmy whispered to me as we left the office.

  Nina Note: I’m not sure what felt better, being near Jimmy or taking out the Glitter. I enjoyed the power I felt from beating the Glitter. Somehow hanging out with Jimmy made me feel almost as powerful as that. It’s funny; I was starting to respect Barb a little. I liked her dry wit.

  I’m not sure if I should be worried about the fact that Jimmy seemed to somehow realize that I used my mind control power to put everybody to sleep. I decided to take that as a sign that this boy and I were in tune with each other.

  Chapter 8: Walking the walk

  Walking out of the school with Jimmy I felt myself floating a little. Being part vampire, I can float if needed, so I looked down at my feet. Nope, they were touching the ground...this was all in my mind. This was seriously weird, but a good weird.

  “Still can’t get over the fact that I thought you put us all to sleep,” Jimmy said.

  “Yeah...you were day-dreaming about dreaming.” Nudging him a little I said, “I have a strong mind, but not that strong!”

  Jimmy laughed. “Yep, I know.”

  Walking out the doors we saw Frank sitting on steps of the school. Waiting for me like a good little brother.

  “Frank, you are still here?” I said, pretending to be surprised.

  Frank scratched his head. “Yeah, Ruby said you wanted me to wait for you to walk you home. I figured no problem since I wanted to play ball anyhow. Plus, I like the walk. Plus, I kind of really stink now, so it’s best that I’m not on a bus,” he said.

  “TMI Bro, TMI!” I said.

  “It’s kind of obvious I stink,” Frank said. “I should have brought my towel and shower stuff so I could shower.” He pointed to a nearby Oak tree. “I think my stink made the birds in that tree fly away!”

  “Man, you two are SO crazy!” Jimmy said laughing “And I mean that in a cool and good way.”

  Frank stood up. “What were you talking about when you left the school?”

  “How strong your sister’s mind is,” Jimmy said.

  Frank nodded. “Yep, her body is really strong too. I mean I can deadlift 650. Dad says I’ll grow stronger as I age and grow.”

  “Wow! That is impressive,” Jimmy said, patting Frank on the back. “If there’s a fight, I want you on my side.”

  “Oh, I like you so I’d definitely be on your side. But I really don’t like to fight. I’m a pacifist,” Frank said.

  “Now, that’s cool.”

  Frank pointed to me. “You didn’t let me finish though. Nixy, I mean Nina is way stronger, I think she can beat me at arm wrestling.”

  “He’s kidding!” I said.

  “And she’s a black belt in Judo and Karate. She’d be a champion at MMA if she wanted to….”

  “Why don’t you do MMA?” Jimmy asked.

  “The blood tests,” Frank said.

  Nina Note: Being a cross between a vampire and a weretiger, my blood has hormones and enzymes normal humans don’t have. That would show up on an advanced blood test used in some athletic events.

  “I’m scared of needles,” I said quickly before Frank could say anything dumber.

  Jimmy shook his head. “Wow, I know I just met you this morning, but I can’t imagine you being scared of anything.”

  “Oh, she’s not,” Frank said. “I’ve seen lions in the zoo roll over when Nixy, I mean, Nina, walks by.”

  Jimmy laughed. “Good one buddy.”

  I fake laughed. “Yeah good one, bro. But stop exaggerating.”

  Nina Note: Animals can sense my power and most of them let me know I’m the boss the second they sense me.

  Frank had a tendency to get carried away at times and forget that most people didn’t realize we weren’t normal people. Cause Frank thought of us as normal. Which to us...we were. I loved that about Frank. But at times it can be annoying. Not only did I want to be alone with Jimmy...but I certainly didn’t want Frank blabbing that I wasn’t quite human.

  Frank looked at Jimmy. “It’s true!” he insisted. “I know she seems so pretty and nice but man when Nina gets angry she is downright scary!” He shivered. “I love her but when she’s angry she scares me.”

  Jimmy got serious. “Dude, you’re huge. You can deadlift 650 pounds.”

  Frank nodded. “Yeah, so?” He paused. “She’s fierce and much stronger.”

  “Ha ha! Frank,” I said, pushing him away. “Stop telling stories about me. Poor Jimmy he just is getting to know us. Don’t tell him your funny, tall-tale stories.” I glanced at Jimmy. “Frank loves making stuff up and telling stories.”

  “I do want to be a science fiction writer,” Frank said with a nod. “I love science fiction and making stuff up is fun. But…”

  “But, he has to work on his craft some more before he gets really good at it,” I said. I patted him on the back, hard. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed, harder so that he knew I was serious about letting this go. “My dear little brother is going to run home now and take a badly needed shower.”

  Frank pointed to my hand on his shoulder. “Ouch sis, you are hurting me!”

  I looked at Jimmy, while not releasing my grip on my little bro. “Ha, he’s kidding again.” Showing Jimmy my free hand I waved it in front of him. “See there is no way these little hands could hurt those big strong muscular shoulders.”

  Jimmy squinted at my hands. “Yeah, that does seem pretty unbelievable.”

  “Yep, like I said, the stuff of science fiction.” Looking Frank in eyes, without releasing his shoulder I said, “That’s right, isn’t it Frank?”

  “Yes, yes, so right!” Frank said. “I do love to kid.”

  I released his shoulder.

  Frank started rubbing his shoulder. “I think I will run home now and take that badly needed shower!” he said. “See you on the bus tomorrow, Jimbo?”

  “You bet,” Jimmy said.

  “See you at home, sis!” Frank said.

  “Bye bro,” I told him.

  Jimmy grinned as we watched Frank run off. “He’s a good guy. I got a text from Robert saying your little bro crushed the ball at practice. The team can really use him.”

  “Good he’ll like that,” I said.

  “You going to try out for the girls’ team? I have a feeling you’d make it.”

  “I have to think about it,” I said. “Being in a new city and a new school. I might want to concentrate on my work this year. I like softball…but….”

  “It doesn’t have the action of MMA,” he said.

  “Exactly!” I said. Jimmy and I might have just met but he still got me. He understood me.

  “I guess that�
��s why you can scare lions,” Jimmy said. “You’re fierce.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I am,” I admitted. “I’m pretty strong-willed,” I said.

  Jimmy’s eyes lit up. “I like that in a person. You know what you want.”

  “Yes, Jimmy, I do,” I told him.

  We walked in silence for a few more minutes. I could tell Jimmy wanted to say something. I could sense it. I could smell his hesitation.

  Nina Note: Hesitation has a really unique kind of sour scent in all people. It’s not a bad scent...just a different scent.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked.

  Jimmy shook his head. “I’m not really sure of a lot of things. But I think you and I are going to be really close. I have no idea why I am saying this!”

  “I’m glad you are!” I said.

  We stopped. I realized we were standing in front of my house. “Jimmy, this is my house,” I said. “How time flies when you are having fun.”

  “See you tomorrow,” he replied.

  “You bet!” I said.

  I ran up the stairs into my house. Mom met me at the door. “Slow down young lady, you’re almost floating.”

  “Sorry, Mom,” I said.

  “Grandma says you ran into a Glitter,” Mom said.

  I nodded. “Yeah, but she helped me take care of it.”

  “Good,” Mom said. “But two Glitters in one day is a really bad sign. The Glitters are getting braver. We have our work cut out for us.”

  “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m ready!”

  Mom crossed her arms. “Yes, your brother told me you met a boy named Jimmy Chaser.”

  “Yep,” I said. “He’s smart and cute and really nice.”

  Mom shook her head. “Yeah and he’s also a vampire hunter…”

  “Say what?”

  “Chaser is the surname of all vampire hunters,” Mom said.

  “But…”

  “No buts, young lady. We know Glitters are around. We can’t afford to deal with vampire hunters. You can be polite to him but nothing else.”