My Crazy Life

by Katrina Kahler

  Nina Notes: I had certainly known of the existence of vampire hunters. I had never run into one. I assumed they were few and far between. After all, hunting vampires is a dangerous business. Sure, most of us these days are good, but none of us like being hunted. Still come on, no way Jimmy was a vampire hunter. I would have sensed it. I didn’t sense any negative energy from him at all. He might have been from a family of vampire hunters but he wasn’t one yet. I bet I could show him that vampires were helpful. We are on this Earth to do good. We stop the Glitters from causing havoc!

  Chapter 9: Woods, Mummies, and Marshmallows

  “Okay, so the Glitters are back in force,” Mom said.

  As we all sat in the living room, well Grandma’s ghost stood there since she never needed to sit, Mumford brought out a tray filled with drinks. That was great, as I really needed my tomato juice.

  “It would appear so,” Dad said. “I don’t like this at all.” Looking at Mumford, he asked. “What have you heard?”

  Mumford placed the tray down. He straightened his back and adjusted his bandages so they didn’t cover his mouth at all. “Sadly, I have heard very little. Still, there’s a group of Mummy Shaman who live in the forest outside of town.”

  “I’ve seen them at night roasting marshmallows over a campfire,” Mom said.

  Mumford grinned. “Yes, they do love their marshmallows. We all do.”

  Turning to Mumford I said, “Wait, you guys love marshmallows?”

  “Guy and Gal mummies both love them, but only roasted over an open flame. That’s what makes them tasty!”

  Looking at him with a tilted head, “Ah, you’re walking fire hazards. Yet you like to cook with fire?”

  Mumford’s eyes opened wide. “Yes. The risk makes it even more delicious.” He rubbed his stomach and grinned. “Yummy, caramelized!”

  “How do I find these mummy Shamans?” Mom asked.

  Mumford shook his head. “They are truly difficult to find. They don’t like humans or superhumans meddling in their business. They hate having their marshmallows stolen. While they are good mummies like me, who like to help, they aren’t as flexible as me. I believe their bandages are tied too tightly.”

  “How do I find them?” Mom asked. “I know I’ve seen their flames on some of my night trips to the forest, but I never actually see the Shaman mummies.”

  I gave Mom a weird look.

  “It’s relaxing,” My mom told me.

  Mumford pointed at me. “Take Nina. She is the only being I know that can find the Shaman mummies. After all, she has the eyes of a vampire and the nose of a weretiger.”

  Nina Note: Usually, vampires and werepeople avoided each other and only dealt with each other in cases of emergency. To my knowledge, my mom and dad were the only two ever to marry.

  Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “You up for a late-night flight to the woods?”

  “Wait, you’ll let me fly?” I asked. “I thought you said I should never use my flying powers because they expose me too much.”

  Mom shrugged. “It’s okay at night. We’ll dress in black; nobody will see us. And you will be with your mom.”

  “Let’s do it!”

  NINA NOTE: I had to admit I was excited about flying. I had loved flying the few times I did it. This would be so cool!

  I felt amazing flying through the air with my mom by my side. Vampire flying was actually gliding with control, but it still made me giddy looking down on the world below. To fly, a vampire had to imagine themselves to be lighter than air. Then we control the air with our minds to guide us through the sky towards our destination.

  Extending my arms and legs, I told my mom, “I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind!”

  Mom smiled. “Well, leaves are at the mercy of the wind. We are not!” Mom said with a subtle grin. “We are in control. Vampires are always in control,” Mom said. “Our bodies and minds are strong.”

  Floating through the night sky I reminded her, “Of course I am only half vampire!”

  Mom nodded. “That makes you even more in control. You are one of a kind. A true individual. You should be proud. You have the raw power and cunning of a vampire and the instincts of the tiger.”

  “So, since I’m not totally a vampire, maybe Jimmy and I can work,” I said softly.

  Mom groaned, “Honey, no. Hunters hunt us, it’s just how they are. They can’t help themselves. They believe all the negative stereotypes about us.”

  “But I can make him see we are here to help the world. We may be different, but we are still mostly like humans, and we still want what’s best for all.”

  Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “I love that you still have faith in humans to do the right thing.”

  “We live with humans, surely you trust them too,” I insisted.

  Mom shrugged. “I find them interesting. Certainly not as boring and stuffy (for the most part) as Vampires, but I don’t really trust most of them, especially hunters. They are so high and mighty. They think they are doing good for the world by hunting us. They can’t comprehend that we protect them. Just because we look a little different.”

  Nina Note: Unlike Mom, I trusted normal humans. Well, a lot of them. I found humans to be not much different from vampires and werepeople. There are some bad ones, some so-so ones, and a lot of good ones. Of course, sometimes you have to look for the good.

  “But I don’t look different at all!” I said strongly. About my only real differences are that my fangs appear when I get angry and my ears are a little bigger than normal. Oh, I also have to shave my legs and armpits more than any girl I know.”

  “On the outside no…” Mom said thinking about what I said. “But the very thing that makes you so unique makes you very different from them.” Mom smiled as she glided. “Honey, you are so much more advanced than they are…”

  “I don’t feel any more advanced,” I said.

  Mom shook her head in agreement. “I know that’s part of what makes you so you,” she grinned.

  I sniffed the air. “I smell sweet smoke,” I told Mom.

  “That’s your tiger side.”

  I saw smoke waffling up in the breeze, gently over the woods. Pointing it out to Mom, I said, “Down there, near the pond.”

  Glancing down I saw four white wrapped mummies sitting by a roaring campfire near the edge of the pond. Each of the mummies held a large stick in the middle of the flames. I had to assume there was a marshmallow at the end of each of those sticks.

  Mom and I slowly floated down to the ground near the marshmallow roasting white mummies.

  One of them talked to us without turning to us. “So, the vampire and the young vampire tiger have come.”

  “It appears they have finally noticed something wicked is happening,” another one said.

  “Yes, it took them long enough,” the third one said.

  “Let’s be patient brothers and sisters,” a fourth one said.

  “Yes, we just arrived in this town a couple of weeks ago,” Mom said defensively, walking towards the mummies. “We’ve had a lot to do.”

  “More important than protecting this world from craziness?” One of them asked.

  “No of course not,” Mom replied.

  “You are lucky, the young one has such unique senses,” another mummy said. “The Glitters can sense it too.”

  “That is why they have come after her,” the fourth one said.

  “You know about that?” I was shocked; these mummies were really tuned in.

  The fourth mummy turned to me offering me the marshmallow on the end of his stick. “Marshmallow?” he asked.

  It looked delicious, all golden brown.

  “Do you mind?” I asked.

  The mummy smiled. “No, of course not. I would not have offered if I minded.” He pointed to a huge bag of marshmallows on the ground. “We have many and we love roasting them.”

  I eased the marshmallow off the stick and popped it into my mouth. “Yummy.” It truly was the best
marshmallow I had ever tasted.

  “Why are the Glitters here?” Mom asked firmly.

  “Why are the Glitters anywhere?” one of the mummies answered. “They like to cause confusion and chaos, they grow from it.”

  “But why this town?” Mom insisted.

  The mummy put another marshmallow on a stick and popped it back into the fire. “Why not this town?”

  Mom pointed at the mummies, “Listen, you white-wrapped Yoda wannabes tell me what I need to know.”

  One of the mummies looked over his shoulder at Mom, “You already know what you need to know. The Glitters like to start small, work on the heartland and then spread their confusion. It is best if you stop them now.”

  “Do they have a nest? A place of power? A lair?” Mom asked.

  “Of course they do,” a mummy answered. “You are hundreds of years old. You should know this stuff!” he lectured.

  “Let me be more specific,” Mom said slowly, her fangs appearing.

  The mummy shuddered a little. “Please do.”

  “Do you know where their lair or base of power is?” she asked.

  “That is a better question,” one of the mummies laughed.

  “Do you have a better answer?” I asked anxiously.

  Silence, greeted by more silence.

  I cleared my throat.

  “Sadly no,” one of the mummies answered.

  “That’s why we are here meditating and communicating with nature to try to sense them,” one mummy said.

  “We do want to help,” another mummy said. He offered me another marshmallow. I took it.

  “Wherever they are, the place is greatly shielded from our vision,” the fourth mummy said.

  “I had been hoping for more information from you,” Mom said.

  “As we had been hoping to give you more from us,” one of the mummies said.

  “What could be shielding them from you?” I asked.

  The mummies all turned to me and smiled. “Now that is the golden question,” one of them said.

  “It must be a place of great and powerful old magic,” another mummy said.

  “Dark magic,” the third mummy said.

  “We suggest you seek out our counterparts. The dark mummies, they might know more. Of course, they won’t talk as freely as us. Plus, they like cotton candy, more than marshmallows, which we find appalling.”

  “Do you know where they are?” Mom asked.

  A mummy shrugged. “Just follow the cotton candy…”

  Now that was a weird clue if ever there was one.

  Nina Note: Okay, I had learned a few things. One, I loved flying. I had to do it more and more. Two, white mummies were kind of weird but also kind of nice. Three, dark mummies loved cotton candy. If we found cotton candy we would find them. They would then hopefully point us to the Glitters. Yeah, it would take some convincing. But mom and I were good at making people and monsters see things our way.

  Chapter 10: Friends…

  The next morning Frank and I headed out to the bus stop to wait for the bus. I dreaded the idea of seeing Jimmy. Not that I wasn’t oh-so-excited about the possibility of being near him...but knowing that I couldn’t hang out with him made me sad.

  Ruby, of course, met me with a smile. “I see you’re back for a second day!” she said.

  “Yeah, it’s kind of the law that I have to go to school,” I said. Returning her smile, I told her, “Still, I like school!” Putting my arm around her I said, “I met a lot of nice kids.”

  Ruby nudged me. She pointed across the street. “Look who’s coming?” Her grin widened. “I think he likes you. I’ve never seen Jimmy act all goofy like he does around you.”

  I didn’t know how I was going to handle this. I liked Jimmy, but when mom says, ‘stay away’, I pretty much have to do what she says. History has taught me that mom usually knows her stuff and for better or for worse she is looking out for me. What could I tell Jimmy? ‘Gee sorry, I like you a lot but I’m a half vampire and according to my mom you are a vampire hunter so it could never work out between us.’

  “Hey, Jimmy!” Frank said. He walked over and exchanged high fives.

  I looked at Jimmy. He turned away without even a hint of an acknowledgment. Okay, now maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to tell him I can’t hang out with him.

  Jimmy said something to Frank. Frank nodded. He walked over to Ruby and me. “Jimmy says he’s sorry, but his mom told him to avoid us because we are bad news.”

  “Say what?” Ruby said. “That doesn’t make any sense at all! How does she even know you guys? You guys are kind and sweet and smart!”

  “I’m not that smart!” Frank said. “But yeah with the other two things.” Frank sighed. “His mom said he could talk to me during games, but he needs to avoid you at all costs!”

  Ruby looked at me with her eyes wide open. “That makes no sense! You’re pretty and nice!” She sniffed me. “You smell fantastic. Any mom would be crazy to not want their son to go out with you!” she insisted.

  “Yeah it might have something to do with Nina being part vampire and part were-tiger,” Frank said innocently.

  I forced myself to laugh. “Oh, Frank. You tell the dumbest jokes.”

  Frank opened his mouth to talk. I stomped on his foot. His mouth shot closed.

  “No more silly jokes!” I ordered Frank. “You’ll scare Ruby away!”

  Ruby stood there thinking. “Actually, it would explain a lot if you were a supernatural creature,” Ruby said slowly. “The good looks, the amazing smell, your raw power.”

  “Ha-ha, Ruby!” I said once again, forcing myself to laugh. “You can’t believe in vampires and werewolves.”

  Ruby stood on her toes and looked right into my eyes. “My mom is a researcher. She researches the paranormal and my dad an investigative reporter. Of course, I do! I’m smart enough to know that there’s a lot of stuff I don’t know.”

  “Look, Ruby, trust me. I’m not a vampire!” I said. “It’s daylight and I am outside.” I opened my mouth. “See no fangs.”

  “And I’m certainly not an artificial person who was made in a lab!” Frank said.

  “What an oddly specific thing to say!” Ruby said.

  “Thank you,” Frank said.

  Ruby pulled a small flashlight out from her bag. She turned it on and flashed it in my eyes. “Hmmm, your eyes look almost normal.”

  “Almost?” I said.

  “Yes, the colors of your irises are changing ever so slightly. Most people wouldn’t even notice it unless they knew what to look for. The changing color makes it easier for you to hypnotize people or animals or whatever.” She lowered the light. “Your eyes are awesome.”

  I fake laughed again. “Look, Ruby, I wish I were a cool vampire, but I am not…”

  “True,” Ruby said. “Your eyes also seem to have another thin sheet protecting them. I’m guessing that’s somehow from your were-side. What are you, part lion?”

  “No, that would be silly!” Frank said. “She’s part tiger. Tigers are all over lions! Tigers are the true kings of the jungle.” He thought for a second. “Except for maybe rhinos…I think a rhino would give a tiger a run for their money.” He gazed at me. “Are there any were-rhinos?” he asked.

  “How would I know?” I said. “Look, this is all pure fantasy!” I insisted. “Please, guys. Can we talk about something else: the weather, homework, mean girls?”

  Frank shook his head. “You know Nixy, I don’t normally stand up to you.”

  “Yeah, you’re usually smart like that,” I told him. “Why is this different?”

  Frank crossed his arms. “As scared of you as I am, I realize the truth here is more important. If we are going to do our jobs here and defeat those sneaky Glitters, then we will need friends.” Frank put a large hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “And trust me, I trust Ruby. Remember how you always say I have good instincts?”

  Nina Note: Yeah, somehow Frank was always a good judge of character.


  Now Frank put his other hand on my shoulder. “Well, my good instincts tell me to trust Ruby and we will need that trust.”

  Ruby looked at me with her hand on her hip. “Please, you can trust me.”

  Glancing over at Jimmy, he was texting on his phone totally ignoring us. I groaned. “Fine, it might be true…” I admitted.

  “I knew you were extra special,” Ruby said hugging me. “I always knew I would help some person or near person on a super-duper quest. What’s our quest?” she asked.

  “It’s not really a quest,” I said uneasily. “The less you know the better.”

  Ruby shook her head. “Nope, that’s never true. Knowledge is power.”

  I leaned in and whispered, “This is the kind of knowledge that can get you hurt.”

  Ruby made a fist, “Been taking karate since I was five. I have a big brother named Connor who is in college as a LAX player and I can kick his butt. I am tougher than I look.”

  I had to consider my words wisely here. “Let’s just say, well, there are these creatures that glitter and can make humans do really stupid things. It’s our job to stop them.”

  “What do they look like?” Ruby asked.

  “They are like living glitter balls but sometimes they look like living glitter humanoids. But only vampires can see them,” I whispered.

  “So cool!” Ruby exclaimed. She straightened up, “I have your back, GF.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  The bus pulled up. I waited for Jimmy to get on. Ruby, Frank and I followed.

  “Frank since you can’t sit with Jimmy will you sit with Timmy?” I asked.

  Frank nodded. “Sure, he seems cool enough. But why do you want that?”

  “I don’t think those bullies will pick on him if you are buddy-buddy with him.”

  “Oh, okay,” Frank said walking towards Timmy. Turning to me, “Why?”

  “Because you are huge!” I told my bro.

  “Right!” Frank said. “I knew that!”

  Walking up to Timmy, Frank asked. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?”