This Courageous Journey

by Misty M. Beller

  A single lantern lit the room, and it took her a moment to pick out the men sitting in chairs around a table in the corner—the other two fellows who lived here in the fort, plus Elmer. All of them stood as she entered. She dipped a slight curtsey.

  Elmer stepped forward. “Is Louise all right? And Bo? Do they need me?”

  Noelle raised a staying hand. “She’s fine. They’re both resting, so I thought I’d see the sights.” She glanced around the small room. Crates lined one wall and a pile of furs sat in one corner, stacked halfway to the ceiling. “If I shouldn’t be here, I can leave.”

  “Of course not.” Channing stepped from behind the table. “Make yerself at home. Would ya like to look through the trade goods? Each crate is labeled, and I can open any you like.” His voice held a deep Southern drawl, most likely from Virginia. And more of a backwoods sound than what she’d heard from those living in the cities.

  She nodded. “Thank you. I’m just curious.”

  He stood by, ready to follow through with his offer if she gave the word.

  As she scanned the boxes labeled glass beads, blankets, women skirts, and the like, she asked him, “From where do you hale, Mr. Channing? If I had to guess, I’d say Virginia.” She smiled at him. “I knew a family from the Richmond area whose accent was much like yours.”

  He stood straighter, his chest expanding as a smile spread across his face. “Yes, ma’am. Reared near Fort Chiswell, then headed west on my twentieth birthday.”

  “How exciting. Have you lived here at Fort Whitson long?”

  Channing leaned against the side wall and propped one foot against it. “’Bout three years, give or take. Sarge and I had a trading post farther west, but we wanted something a little easier to get supplies in and out of.” He motioned around him, as though they could see through the walls to the land outside. “Found this little flat section and figured it was as good a spot as any. Close enough to the Indians that the trading is decent, and we can get what we need around the mountains.” A grin pulled the corner of his beard. “We always like it when men like Abrams pay us a visit, although he usually brings more furs than he did this time.” He dipped his head, his cheeks going red. “’Course, I won’t complain since he brought y’all to us.”

  Noelle tried to smile at the man, but her chest tightened. Daniel would have had more furs to bring had he not purchased another horse and two saddles. Maybe he could sell them for profit when this journey was finished.

  She forced her focus back to their host. “We’re ever so thankful for your hospitality. And that of your wife.”

  He nodded. “We always like to see newcomers.” He turned his grin on Elmer. “I was just tellin’ Biggers that y’all should settle right here. We could help put up a cabin, an’ make sure you have everything you need. There’s a lot to be said for neighbors helpin’ neighbors.”

  Elmer chuckled, but didn’t respond.

  A silence slipped over the group. Probably time for her to make her exit. She sent a smile around the table. “Thank you for the chance to browse. I should go and check on the others now.”

  A chorus of “All right” and “’Bye now” followed her out the door.

  Outside, she stood for a moment, letting the soft wind brush her face. This little stretch of land felt more like a prairie than the mountain country they’d been traveling through for weeks. Peaceful.

  But as soon as Louise and Bo recovered, they could resume their trip. Each day would bring her closer to seeing her brother again.

  Until then, she should take this chance to write up more stories.

  Noelle’s Journal

  September 8th

  The rain simply won’t leave. I didn’t realize how blessed we were those first weeks when we only had the cold to endure. Now the rain brings a return to those freezing nights, as well as a wind that buffets by day.

  Daniel is gone. Not forever, only a short hunting trip. He didn’t tell me he was leaving. He only confided in Elmer. And Mr. Channing. I suppose he didn’t feel the news important for anyone else, especially a mere woman traveling in his party. Yet it still aches, that he wouldn’t consider me worthy. Some days I wish with everything I had that I’d been born a man. Life would be simpler.

  Anyway, Louise finally seems to be regaining her strength. This is the third day we’ve been at the fort, although why it’s called such, I couldn’t say. There is no stockade, only three ragged buildings and four conversation-starved pioneers. Yet I’m thankful for the shelter and hospitality these kind people provide.

  Elmer says he wants to stay here another week if Daniel will agree. That way Louise and Bo can fully recover. I think Elmer dreads leaving this safe haven, taking to the trail again where his family is so exposed to illness and danger. I understand his concerns, yet my spirit chafes the long, boring days. The delays.

  I’ve tried to help Little Otter, but she only allows me a few small tasks. She’s so industrious, she accomplishes much in a simple hour, keeping the house spotless and cooking some of the best meals I’ve had in years. Although, I couldn’t name anything we’ve eaten since arriving.

  If only Daniel were here.

  Chapter Seven

  Why must things change?

  ~ Noelle

  Daniel huddled against the driving rain as he pulled Pauper to a halt at the door to the trading room. He swung down from the saddle and unstrapped the girth while Griz waited patiently on the stoop. He could throw his saddle and packs inside, then sort the meat and furs where they would be protected from the icy rain.

  After that, he could finally check on his charges.

  He shouldn’t have left them this many days, but the hunting was better than he’d expected, so he kept pushing farther west. Every new fur would help make up for those he’d not been able to trade from Red Bird’s band. He’d be able to recoup the shortfall when he sold the extra horse later, but still... Something inside bucked against the potential lost income. It wasn’t as if he needed the earnings. He had plenty stored away in enough different places a disaster couldn’t devastate him.

  He’d once known the loss of all their earthly goods—both his and his father’s. In fact, he’d been the cause of their devastation. That would never happen again.

  He tossed the saddle on the ground, then released Pauper from his bridle and gave the horse a pat. Within a few minutes he freed Gypsy, too. The horses ambled toward the nearest patch of trees, where they’d find shelter from the rain. Thankfully, they both came at a whistle so he didn’t have to hobble them. They’d been his companions for long enough to feel like cousins.

  After dragging his saddle and packs to the door, he tried to push it open. Latched on the inside. Rain fell in sheets around him as he delivered a knock loud enough to be heard over the pelting drops. The door swung open, and he charged in, pulling his things behind him, Griz tangling in his legs. Mathers reached for one of the packs, and Elmer grabbed the saddle.

  Daniel released them both and paused to catch his breath. Rain dripped from his hat brim, sliding down his face so he could barely see, especially in the dimness of the room.

  “Come warm yourself by the stove, man.” Channing’s voice called him toward the heat.

  He followed without argument, pulling off his hat, then his gloves, and tossing them both on the floor beside the stove. Next he set to work on the buttons of his coat.

  “You must be soaked through, Abrams. Thought you’d be holed up with the Indians somewhere ‘til this mess quit.”

  “I’ll be all right when I get this coat off.” He’d worry about his pants and underthings in a bit.

  “Sure,” Sarge said. “Let me have that.”

  After working out of the fur, he allowed Sarge to take it, then scrubbed his hands over his face, clearing the water from his eyes. He must look like a muddy, drowned cur. “How are the women? The boy? Noelle hasn’t come down with the sickness, too, has she?” He’d worried about that more times than he cared to admit. He shouldn’t
have left them so long. Shouldn’t have left her.

  Elmer spoke up. “Louise and Bo are much better. Noelle’s right here.”

  Daniel paused at the words, trying to make sense of them. Right here? He spun, taking in the room for the first time. The four men staring back at him seemed to part as a swatch of blue stepped between them.

  His gaze traveled upward, landing on the face he’d seen in his dreams just last night. “Noelle.” He had to swallow past the knot clogging his throat.

  “I’m well, Daniel. Glad you’ve returned.” Her voice flowed to him like a gentle brook. Griz padded to her, and she bent to greet the dog. “Hey, boy. How are you?”

  Daniel was staring, but he couldn’t quite take his gaze from her. Then someone clapped him on the shoulder.

  “I’ll go tell the missus to put on some hot coffee. Reckon you’ll need to warm yer insides.” Channing stepped in front of him on his way out, breaking his concentration on Noelle.

  Daniel turned back to the fire and worked to regulate his breathing. What was she doing in the trading room with the men? They were all fairly decent fellows, as far as he knew, but it surely wasn’t proper for her. At least Elmer had been here to act as protector, should she need such.

  “Things have been so quiet here with all the rain, Noelle offered to teach us how to play whist.” Elmer’s discreet tone sounded just behind him. As though he’d read Daniel’s thoughts.

  He turned to eye the man. Elmer looked a little sheepish. “I think she’s bored with no chores to tend all day. I didn’t figure it would hurt if she came in here, as long as I’m in the room, too.”

  Daniel nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak. Noelle probably was safe enough, and people didn’t stand by the social rules in the territories. So why did it irk him that she’d spent her leisure time in this trade room, where these men had the pleasure of her company?

  He shouldn’t even ask himself that question. He didn’t want to know the answer.

  “NOELLE, CAN ELMER AND I speak with you for a moment?”

  Noelle paused in the lacing of her boots the next morning to eye her friend. Louise seemed to be trying to force a cheery smile.

  “I...suppose so. What is it?”

  “Good.” Louise’s tone was unusually bright. “Come sit with me.”

  Elmer was stretched out on one of the stacks of furs, reading his Bible. But when they both sat on the adjoining pallet, he marked his place and straightened. His expression was serious.

  She glanced at him, then focused on Louise. “Out with it. You’re making me nervous.” She added a tease to her tone to cover the fact that a knot was forming in her midsection. What dire news could they have to share?

  “Noelle.” Louise started in a gentle voice. “Elmer and I have decided to stay here and build our home on land near the fort.”

  She couldn’t help but stare at her friend, trying to ignore the iron ball in her middle. “But...we haven’t even left the American territory. I thought you wanted to build in Simeon’s valley. It’s still weeks away—two or three at least.”

  Louise reached for her hand. “I know that’s what we’d planned, but we both feel God saying this is where He wants us right now.”

  Elmer leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees. “The journey’s been so hard on Louise and Bo. We don’t want to chance things getting worse. And we really do like this area.”

  If they stayed here, how would she get to Simeon? She wanted to be independent, but not even she was courageous enough to attempt the rest of the trip by herself. That would tip the scales toward insanity. Maybe Daniel would still take her. She’d have to reimburse Elmer for the final stretch, since he wouldn’t be using the man’s services, but her brother could help with that. For now.

  Did she dare travel alone with Daniel? Two weeks ago, she’d not have even entertained the thought of leaving with a man. Even now, she couldn’t imagine planning to do so with anyone else. Yet Daniel seemed...trustworthy.

  He’d proved his protective nature, as well as his ability to keep her safe and provide for her.

  Elmer’s pleading voice broke through her thoughts, and she forced her mind to focus on his words. “...bring Simeon back for you.” He looked at her, as though expecting a reaction.

  She scrambled to recall anything else he’d just said that might have slipped into her mind unawares. Nothing. “Um...can you repeat that? Please?” Warmth surged to her face.

  He looked to his wife, as though Louise’s words might penetrate better than his.

  “We understand you still need to get to your brother’s place, so we’ll ask Mr. Abrams to travel on without us.” Louise’s tone was soft. “He can bring Simeon back here to travel the rest of the way with you.”

  She played the words through her mind, twisting and turning them in hopes they would make sense, as they apparently did for Elmer and Louise. “Why would Simeon need to come all the way back here to retrieve me? I can just carry on with Daniel.”

  Louise exchanged a look with her husband. “We didn’t feel it was proper for you to travel alone with Mr. Abrams.”

  Elmer added, “He seems trustworthy and of sound character, but he is still a man. Your parents entrusted you to our care, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending you away with anyone other than your brother.”

  She stiffened. “I came here of my own accord. My parents didn’t send me. I’m responsible for my own care.” She had to bite back what she really wanted to say. These were her friends, after all.

  Even though she’d scrimped and struggled to pay for her portion of the trip—and certainly performed her portion of the work—traveling with the Biggers family had been the ideal arrangement. Not only for their help and protection, but because of their friendship. Louise had been a dear companion since their school days.

  She worked to soften her tone. “With Simeon’s new baby on the way, this won’t be a good time for him to leave home. And if I wait here for the weeks and weeks it would take Daniel to travel there and back, winter will be on us in full force.” She looked to Elmer. “You heard the stories the men were telling about winter in the mountains. It will only be worse the farther north we go. The sensible choice is for me to leave with Daniel now.” At least, the more she talked, the more it seemed that way.

  Louise sent her husband another angst-filled look, moistening her lips the way she did when she was nervous.

  Noelle’s stomach tightened, and she gave her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze. “We don’t have to make a final decision now. I’ll think and pray about it.” Her words gave her conscience a twinge.

  She did need to seek the Lord’s guidance for a decision like this. Why hadn’t that been her first thought?

  Noelle’s Journal

  September 10th

  Lord, a decision lies before me. Should I stay and wait for my brother to fetch me? That feels so selfish, asking him to leave his growing family when they need him most. To leave the wife who depends on him, especially as the birth of their child draws near.

  But is my motive really so selfless? I do honestly feel I will be safe traveling with Daniel. He’s never shown reason for me to doubt his integrity or to fear advances from him. In truth, his presence gives me a comfort I’ve rarely felt. But beyond concerns for safety, why do I insist on proceeding now? To prove I can?

  Lord, as the Psalmist wrote, “Search me and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

  I pray my heart and words and actions would be pleasing to You, Lord. Let me not move forward in bull-headed abandon, as Papa calls it. Show me Your path so clearly I can’t miss it. Please.

  Chapter Eight

  I should fear this greater responsibility. I should, so why do I not?

  ~ Daniel

  Noelle struggled under the weight of the yoke as two full water buckets sloshed against her skirt later that afternoon. Though the buildings of the fort were positio
ned in a lovely setting, someone should have thought about how far they’d have to carry water from the river’s branch that crept along the base of the nearest mountain.

  If she were the woman of the house, she’d have put the men lounging around the place to work—either carrying water or digging a well so the stuff wouldn’t have to be hauled halfway across the country. But this was Little Otter’s home, and she thrived on serving those around her.

  Noelle had enjoyed getting to know the woman during the six days they’d been here so far. Especially her quiet sense of humor and the selfless way she gave of herself, doing everything with excellence—all qualities Noelle should work harder to emulate. Another interesting fact she’d learned was that Little Otter knew a great deal more English than she allowed most people to think.

  After stepping inside the cabin, Noelle carried the buckets to the cooking area and eased them down near Little Otter. She exhaled a breath as she ducked out of the yoke, then rubbed the bend where her neck met her shoulder. “This makes it easier to carry the water, but it doesn’t shorten the distance any.” She dropped to her knees beside the woman, then reached for the wooden bowl of corn batter from Little Otter’s hands. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked Mr. Channing to dig a well nearby.”

  The other woman moved a cloth and reached for the dough underneath, then began forming it into small balls. “Your Daniel Abrams carry my water in morning time when he here. But I not mind to do it. I like time when the sun hug my face.”

  “Daniel carries water for you?” How had she not seen him doing it?

  “Early in the morning, before others rise.”

  Just like he’d done on the trail. And this must be why she never saw him first thing. He’d shown his thoughtfulness in many ways, but this made her see him from a different angle.