This Courageous Journey

by Misty M. Beller

  Noelle and Little Otter worked together in silence as thoughts spun in Noelle’s mind. Perhaps she should seek Little Otter’s advice on whether to go now with Daniel or wait for him to bring Simeon back. After all, the woman knew the terrain and the weather in this area. Her experience might offer wisdom for the decision.

  After a deep breath, she started in. “Little Otter, may I ask your thoughts on a matter?”

  “If you wish.”

  She quickly laid out her choices, ending with, “You’re familiar with the weather and the land, but you also have known Mr. Abrams longer than my friends and I. What would you do, were you in my situation?”

  The squaw raised her head, staring forward toward the brick chimney, her gaze seeing far away. For a long moment, she sat like that, her hands still making circles of the dough, the size and shape of the balls never varying. “I understand your people’s customs about a man and a woman. My people would look from the side of their eyes at the same. Yet, my people also understand this land. It takes much to survive, and that is more important than custom. I do not know your brother, but I do know Daniel Abrams. He will keep his word. He will take you safely to your people. I trust him before many others.”

  She dropped her focus back to the dough in her hands, forming and turning it with deft movements. She seemed to have spoken her opinion in full.

  “Thank you,” Noelle murmured. She’d been right. Little Otter had gained wisdom through her experience. Should she follow the woman’s words implicitly?

  Make Your way clear, Lord.

  AFTER THE MEAL THAT evening, Griz trotted beside Noelle as she took the dishes to the river to wash them instead of using water she’d hauled to the cabin. Elmer planned to tell Daniel about their decision to stay in this area and what more they would require from him.

  She wasn’t sure how they would explain her desires compared to their own, but she didn’t want to be around for the discussion. Didn’t want to see Daniel’s reactions.

  Maybe he wouldn’t want to take her on alone. Maybe he’d refuse to be burdened by a weak female. Surely she’d proved she could handle life on the trail.

  The evening was only chilly, not the cold that had been creeping steadily stronger with each passing day. The stars shone brightly, lighting her way as she stepped through the knee-high grass. Griz seemed eager for the jaunt, his tongue lolling as his stride covered ground. She didn’t worry about being out after dark with him around.

  When she reached the river, the water stung her fingers, colder than she’d expected. Probably because the sun wasn’t shining on it to warm its icy flow. As she submerged the dishes and scrubbed each with a cloth, her skin grew numb.

  This would be a good time to distract herself with Scripture, and maybe God would illuminate a segment to guide her decision.

  Her mind instantly flew to one of her favorite passages in Proverbs. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

  That was exactly her goal—to look to the Lord and let Him direct her path. If only He would clearly point the direction. Like with the Israelites in the desert, he’d led them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. They went only when and where the cloud moved. How much easier would that be than trying to hear a still, small voice among the chaos in her mind.

  With the dishes finally cleaned and restacked in her baskets, she dried her hands and pressed them into the Griz’s fur to warm herself. He panted as he gazed at her with those soulful eyes. “You ready to head back, boy?”

  He sat straighter and closed his mouth, tilting his head as he studied her.

  “Let’s go then.” The dog leaped forward as she rose and started out.

  When she approached the building, the door opened, sending out a cascade of light. A man’s form filled the opening, then he stepped out and closed the door behind him. Daniel’s outline was hard to mistake.

  She almost lost him in the shadows of the building, and then he moved toward her. She paused as he approached, standing in a swath of moonlight. He stepped into the light and halted. About three strides separated them. Griz approached his master, turned, and sat on his haunches by Daniel’s side. As friendly as he was to others, his devotion to this man was obvious.

  She raised her gaze back to Daniel’s, trying to make out the details of his expression. “I suppose Elmer told you their decision.”

  He nodded, the shadows filling in the valleys of his face, leaving the hills exposed. “He told me his choice but couldn’t tell me yours.”

  That must have been his way of asking. “I’m still praying about my decision. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”

  “That’s wise.” He didn’t make a move. Just stood there as though studying her. “Either way, I’d like to head out within the next few days. Winter will strike soon, and I’d rather cover the distance before it hits.”

  She nodded. “I understand.” She wanted to say so much more. This terse back and forth didn’t feel like the Daniel she’d come to know. Maybe he was giving her distance to make her choice.

  If she had the courage, she would tell him she wanted to go with him. That her heart told her that was the right decision. Her spirit felt at peace when she considered the possibility, much more so than the idea of waiting for weeks or months for Simeon to come, traveling through the coldest part of winter, and possibly keeping him from his wife during the birth of their child.

  “Daniel?” She took a tentative step forward.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think I would be crazy to travel with you? Would you prefer to go alone?” She hadn’t meant to pose the question quite like that. But maybe her sincerity would bring back the Daniel she’d come to know these last weeks. Not a man of many words, but thoughtful. Full of heart.

  He seemed to be mulling over her questions. Or maybe trying to find the best way to word his rejection.

  She raised her chin. “I want to know what you really think.”

  He chuckled. Actually chuckled.

  It wasn’t a sound she’d heard from him very often, and it stole some of the starch from her spine. “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh, nothing.” His voice took on a casual manner. “Let’s see. You asked if I thought you’d be crazy to travel with me. I’m assuming the words in question are the with me part, because I’ve already shared my thoughts on you traveling into the Canadian mountains.” All humor slipped from his tone. “I won’t speak to propriety, because I don’t have a lot of experience with the social customs back east. I do know that I’ll do everything in my power to get you to your brother safely. And you probably stand a better chance of that now than in the dead of winter.”

  He paused, and she was almost afraid he expected her to answer, but then he spoke again. “As to whether I want to go alone...” He propped his hands on his hips. “I’ve been traveling alone most of the time since I was eighteen. I’ll be traveling alone again after I get you to your brother’s home. It’d be a nice change to have someone to share the trail with. And I do like your cooking better than mine.”

  A flood of warmth spread through her chest, and she gripped the basket handles tighter to keep from dropping them. A burn crept up to the backs of her eyes. “Thank you. That means a lot.” She inhaled a steadying breath. “I’d like you to take me the rest of the way north. I’m ready to leave whenever you are. Tomorrow morning if you’d like.”

  He nodded, but the shadows kept her from seeing the expression in his eyes. “We’ll ride out day after tomorrow.”

  He stepped closer, and for a second, she thought he would take her in his arms. Her feet almost met him partway. But he reached for the baskets instead, then turned and motioned for her to precede him.

  Her heart raced as she moved forward. Such a silly reaction. One she’d do best to curb before she did something she’d forever regret.

  THE MORNING OF THEIR departure dawned cold, but clear
.

  Daniel stood holding the two saddle horses, the new mare tethered behind Pauper, as Noelle hugged her final farewells. He’d already shaken hands with the men and bid the women goodbye. The hug from Bo had brought on more emotion than he’d expected. He didn’t spend much time around kids, but that little guy had wiggled into his affections before Daniel had even realized it.

  Hopefully, the family would still be here the next time he passed through. He’d bring a molasses candy for the boy if he could scrounge it. Maybe carve something for him to play with.

  Noelle finally turned from her friends and took Gypsy’s reins from him. She didn’t meet his gaze, but the red rimming her eyes told him all he needed to know. A lump caught in his throat. Was he doing the wrong thing, letting her accompany him north?

  She’d be moving on one way or the other. Her decision had merely been whether to ride with him or wait for her brother to retrieve her. Yet staying here for another six or seven weeks would allow her more time to visit with her friends.

  She was already mounting the mare, though, so he climbed aboard Pauper. After farewell waves, he turned his gelding northward.

  Noelle’s horse fell into step beside the pack mare behind him, Griz trotting along beside. He reined in a little to fall back beside her. Noelle looked over at him, her face a question.

  He forced himself to say the words. “You sure you want leave now? You can stay with your friends longer, and I’ll bring your brother back to you.” Even though he didn’t like the idea of her and her brother traveling north in the worst of winter, he’d accompany them to make sure they made the final trip safely.

  She shook her head, her shoulders squaring. “I’m sure.” Her chin tipped up with that determination that always made him smile.

  “All right then.”

  They rode the first couple hours without event and without much conversation. The silence hung easy, comfortable, as they worked their way around the edge of a mountain, then through a high pass between two more. Such a relief not to have the wagon to worry about or to slow them down.

  Once through the pass, they entered a wide valley covered in dark brown shapes. “Stay, Griz.” Daniel reined in and motioned for Noelle to do the same as the dog planted himself beside Pauper.

  “What is this?”

  The brown moved in ripples, like the wind swirling waves on a wide, muddy lake. Only the animals at the edge nearest them gave any hint the herd wasn’t a single massive blanket. “Buffalo.”

  “Ohh...” She breathed out the word, and he couldn’t help but slide a glance at her face. She was always pretty, but the awe lighting her features now made her almost radiant.

  For long moments, he watched her watching the beasts. Each nuance as her gaze swept the valley, picking out individual animals and smiling at their antics.

  She turned to look at him, but he’d been so caught up in her features, he didn’t realize until her blue gaze met his. “What do we do?”

  He gave himself a mental shake and scanned the outer edges of the herd. “I think we can cut around the left side. They shouldn’t bother us if we don’t bother them.”

  “I’ll follow you.”

  He nodded and turned Pauper that direction, signaling for the dog to stay close.

  “Have you seen a herd this big before?” Her voice still held a sense of awe.

  “Here and there. Lots more buffalo south and west of here, but they range pretty far north, too.”

  “All the way up to the valley where my brother lives?”

  “And farther. But they prefer the prairieland east of the mountains.”

  “God’s creations never cease to amaze me.”

  God. “You’re a Christian then?” He’d known men who considered themselves such, but he’d never asked questions of them. Growing up mostly among Indians, he’d heard a great deal more about the Sun and the other gods of nature. He’d never seen evidence that the Sun had as much power as the Blackfeet attributed to it, though. It seemed more likely things happened on the course they’d been set, and men had power to control their own lives if they wanted to. For the most part, anyway.

  “I am.” Her tone sounded uncertain.

  Perhaps she preferred not to discuss religion. Or maybe she didn’t have a strong opinion one way or the other. Either way, he was fine with the silence that settled again as they rode around the base of the herd.

  Chapter Nine

  Once again, my expectations are nothing like reality.

  ~ Noelle

  Noelle’s Journal

  September 12th

  I haven’t been this weary since we began the journey through the mountains. And perhaps not even then.

  We rode this first day until after dusk began to close in. I wondered if Daniel planned to ride all night. Perhaps he would have, had it not been for the horses. I can tell he loves to be on the trail. Always moving and seeing new things. The animals we passed today alone will astound the readers of the New-York Daily Tribune. I hope I can describe them with half as much of the wild magnificence which the creatures possess in their natural state.

  Making camp tonight was more challenging than I supposed. I’ve handled the details of meals thousands of times before but never realized how much harder it would be with a quarter of the supplies and only one cooking pot. We’re using only Daniel’s normal implements, as he refused to accept anything from Elmer and Louise. It never occurred to me to ask what he possessed.

  He says he’ll go hunting early tomorrow. It’ll be nice to have fresh meat for breakfast. I’ll be sure to cook enough for the noon meal as well so we can eat on the trail. The night grows colder than any we’ve experienced yet.

  Daniel is settling the horses, and I’ve just finished putting away our food supplies. When he returns, what shall we do next? Although my bones sag with weariness, my mind has sprung fully to life. The camp is not much smaller than those on our journey before, yet with only the two of us, the setting feels far more intimate.

  I pray I am the only one who feels such. I pray I can keep my growing feelings fully hidden. That shouldn’t be too much effort, as I’m not sure I know what they are myself.

  DANIEL TRUDGED BACK toward camp from where he’d left the horses to graze for the night. Griz padded beside him, as worn out from today’s journey as he and Noelle were. They’d made it through the first day, but what would the evening be like with just the two of them? He’d never spent so many hours alone with a woman. Sure, Noelle was easier to be around than any other woman of his very scattered acquaintance, but this felt so...different.

  Maybe she’d be asleep already when he returned. She looked plenty weary after the day’s ride, so that was a possibility. He had a feeling it would be a long time before he drifted off, with her lying just across the fire from him.

  He scooped up logs as he walked and had an armful when he approached the campfire. Noelle sat on a log, her face highlighted by the dancing flames.

  She looked up and reached to greet the dog as Daniel dumped the wood next to the others he’d gathered. He covered all the pieces with an oilskin to protect them from the dampness of the night.

  When there was nothing left to do, he took his place by the fire. Not directly across from her, for the breeze was blowing the smoke that direction. But he left as much distance between them as he could.

  “The horses settled for the night?” She kept her gaze on the fire, her hand tucked around Griz, who had apparently defected for the more pleasant companion.

  “Yep.” He scrambled for something else to add, but he’d never been good at small talk.

  He let his gaze wander to the logs and coals of the fire as silence settled around the crackling of the flame. Maybe this would be a good time to start on that carving for Bo.

  “Any stories you haven’t told us yet?”

  Noelle’s words brought his gaze up. Her mouth had that playful tilt that tightened his chest.

  Stories...he’d forgotten their favorite evenin
g pastime. “Hmm...” Only one tale sprang to mind, but it was a bit gruesome in nature. Maybe he could leave out the parts not fit for a lady. “Have I told you the story about the man who went swimming with a white bear?”

  “Not yet.” Her eyes lit as she settled in to listen.

  “There were two trappers I knew who were out near the far western end of the Yellow Stone River. They each left camp one morning, going their separate ways to set traps. One of the men, Marcus, finished with his and set out onto the prairie to hunt game. He saw a bear across the way and took a shot.”

  Daniel reached for a twig from the ground and pinched the end off, remembering the way Pa’s face took on a life of its own when he used to tell the story. “His first shot missed, but the second hit in just a spot to make the beast angry. It raised up with its ears pinned and charged ol’ Marcus, who turned tail and ran. The only place to go was in the river, so he dove in and swam as hard as he could. Turned out the bear was the better swimmer. When Marcus saw he was losing ground, he ducked under the water and swam farther, hoping the bear wouldn’t see him.”

  He glanced at Noelle’s face to see how she was taking the tale. She leaned forward, her eyes fixed on him.

  He kept going. “Not only was that bear a faster runner and swimmer than Marcus, it was also quite the fisher. It stayed right with him everywhere he swam, and when the man finally had to come up for air, the bear sunk his jaws over the man’s head.

  Her face scrunched in a cringe, but her gaze never left his face.

  “When his friend had heard that first shot, he’d come running. He arrived just about the time Marcus had his head in the jaws of the enemy. The friend aimed and fired two shots in a row. They felled the bear.” Pa always seemed to arrive just when his friends needed him. That was probably why he had such a reputation everywhere he went. From the Athabascan Pass to the Pacific Ocean, the trappers—and half the Indian tribes, too—had all known him.