Soap Opera Uncensored: ISSUE 8

by Nelson Branco

RA: UNCENSORED

  Volume 1, Issue 8

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2011 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE — Sources: Two More Deals in the Works To License AMC/One Life — and They’re Not Prospect Park! Plus: Is That Why Prospect Park is Posturing Again? Exclusive: Y&R’s Son of Anarchy, Adam Newman, Speaks Out Via Michael Muhney! Frons: Most Hated Man in TV “Steps Down.” GH: Renewed For One More Year? Plus: Shocking Death on GH! Have the AMC and One Life sets been destroyed? Two Surprise Weddings on Y&R! Death and Miscarriage Alerts! Nixon: No Alternative AMC Finale taped; And It’s Too late for One Life, too! Or is it? Why DAYS’s Chandler Massey may be the next Jonathan Jackson! Y&R’s Genie Francis out? Hell, no! Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati GH-bound! Andrea Evans Returns to One Life; Kim Zimmer out! Erika Slezak sounds off! Last week’s Soap Reviews; Next Week’s Preview Cheat Sheet! And every week: Unbelievable Blind Items!

 

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

 

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

  NOTE FROM EDITOR/FOUNDER:

  You asked — and it’s happening. For more information on subscribing to daytime’s first weekly e-zine Soap Opera Uncensored, email soapuncensored@yahoo.com

  6 months: $14.99 (normally $51.74)

  1 Year: $29.99 (normally $103.48)

  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  “First I’m pregnant & then I’m divorced. What am I All My Children?! #ericakane #pshhh #ifihadadollarforeverytime ...”

  —Singer Katy Perry on rumours of an impending breakup with hubby Russell Brand

  Translation: Like La Lucci, I’m holding out for lotsa cashola and more time off before I re-sign our marriage contract!

  “It's actually a really bad, hilariously bad soap opera. And because it's so bad, [my hubby and Dark Shadows director Tim Burton] felt he had to make a hugely expensive movie.”

  —Helena Bonham Carter on Twitter about the TV version of Dark Shadows

  Translation: We’re making Passions: The Movie next!

  “Why bother saying goodbye? I see this as just closing a chapter. We will see each other again — someplace, somehow, somewhere.”

  —Erika Slezak at the One Life wrap party

  Translation: Three lives to live, damn it!

  “They kept trying to get more milk out of a cow by feeding it less. When you don’t nurture your product, it’s not going to perform well.”

  —Emmy winner Hillary B. Smith in Soaps In Depth on daytime programming

  Translation: Who you calling a cow, Frons? Web soaps are lactose intolerant!

  “I will roll my stuff unaided through the audience waiting in line to see The View like a discarded lover when she has been all used up. After 20 years of caring and bleeding for this show, I feel dismissed. Like we are all being told, ‘Move along. Nothing to see here.’”

  —Smith tweets about clearing out her dressing room this past week

  Translation: But there is nothing like a lover scorned; watch your back, ABC! And there’s no walk of shame when I leave Chappell’s house the next morning!

  “Brian Frons has been the driving force in our successful daytime division since joining us in 2002. And while we understand his decision to leave at the end of his contract, we’re sad to see him go.”

  —Disney/ABC TV Group Co-Chair Anne Sweeney on Brian Frons’s departure

  Translation: But we’re happy he accomplished his soap-killing mission in just nine years! A hefty bonus is in the mail, Fronsie.

  “While my decision to try something new was not arrived at easily, nine years is a long time in television terms. I’m proud of the performance of ABC Daytime over that time, and of all of the accomplishments that our team achieved along the way. I’m especially pleased by the early results for The Chew and excited for the launch of The Revolution, which will be one more positive step in transforming ABC Daytime for our viewers. I’ll miss my colleagues and the wonderful talent that makes our shows, but know they are in very capable hands with Vicki [Dummer] going forward.”

  —Exiting soap killer Brian Frons in a press release

  Translation: No one miss me! And they found someone dumber than I am!

  “Frank and Ron's creativity, passion and outstanding leadership will be a welcome addition to the cast and crew, as well as viewers and longtime fans, and creative leaders in the industry. I am very excited for their arrival to GH and their dedication to the genre will certainly invigorate the daytime drama that has been part of the pop culture and the TV landscape for many years.”

  —More spin from Frons in the same press release

  Translation: Battered wife syndrome rocks! My friends at AMC and GH got all the spoils with no results, but those talented patsies, Frank and Ron, will accomplish miracles and do all the heavy lifting for nothing! #Winning

  “I look forward to this next exciting chapter working with the wonderful cast and crew of GH. This is an incredible opportunity for me to extend my passion and expertise for daytime television as I continue my relationship with Disney/ABC Television Group and become part of an extraordinary team in 2012."

  —One Life executive producer Frank Valentini in a statement about taking over the reins of GH

  Translation: This isn’t going to be easy! Thanks, Jill Farren Phelps, for making more money than I ever did and destroying an iconic show that I now have to clean up. Déjà vu, much? But I’ll prove to be Gloria Monty 2.0.

  SOAPY WEB:

  Crystal Chappell, who? Kiefer Sutherland confesses in new web show!

  Last week, my employer Bell Media announced today it will launch The Confession, a heart-pumping 10-part digital series created by and starring 24’s Kiefer Sutherland, on multiple digital platforms including online, mobile and tablets. The Confession premiered exclusively in Canada at theconfession.ctv.ca on Monday, Dec. 5 with the first three episodes, followed by two new episodes rolling out on subsequent Mondays. The full series will also be available on CTV Mobile on Bell Mobile TV for smartphones and superphones beginning Monday, Dec. 12, and on The CTV iPad App starting Monday, Dec. 19. The Confession is sponsored exclusively by Audi. The future is here — and it’s arriving large.

  COVER STORY:

  Son of Anarchy: Exclusive Interview with Master Adam Newman

  He’s mercurial. Charming, even. He’s super-handsome, most swoon. But mostly, the smart bastard’s dangerous and deadly. And that’s just his hair! Yep, Adam Newman is the best character to hit Y&R in ages. In fact, one could argue he’s stealing the entire show (not that that’s hard to do these days), but few know what makes the breakout character tick as he continues his relentless quest for destiny. Hell hath no fury like an abandoned son scorned. Uncensored poured a few glasses of expensive scotch when we ran into The Great Adam Newman at the Genoa City Athletic Club and managed to nab this first exclusive interview with the ultimate son of anarchy. Suck on that, Restless Style!

  When you were younger, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?

  Well, as a kid, when I would pretend I was in Star Wars, I always related to Darth Vader more than Luke Skywalker. I enjoyed the snark of Han Solo but felt a lot of empathy for Vader and his childhood experience and subsequent difficult choices he had to make.

  How did you become so well versed in human psychology? You can figure out people very easily...

  I’ve always enjoyed reading books. But reading people is something that has come very naturally to me. People tell me everything, even if they don’t say a word.

  Were you a mama's boy?

  Yes. I thought I wa
s, until I found out my mother had been lying to me about my father my whole life. Now I don't know what I was. An experiment for her pleasure? Still trying to figure that out.

  Any dead animals populate your farm?

  I’ve seen the circle of life, on the farm, many times. I understand that all things live, and all things, eventually, must die.

  What was your relationship like with your stepfather, Cliff?

  Next question, please.

  Growing up, who were your idols?

  Einstein. Mark Twain. And General Patton. A fictional hero of mine was Jack Nicholson’s character (Col. Jessup) in the movie, A Few Good Men. “You want me on that wall. You NEED me on that wall.”

  Have you ever been properly in love?

  Next question, please.

  What advice would you give your younger self if you could?

  Don’t trust many people. And don’t trust anyone in Genoa City.

  What do you think of the #Occupy movement?

  Good concept. Lazy execution.

  How