Surrendering To Him

by Hope Jones

  I was running out of ideas and thinking that I had no choice but to grin and bear it when my phone rang.

  Millie! Yes, oh my God, my savior! She could get me out of this.

  “Help” was how I answered the phone. It probably wasn’t a good idea to be telling her to help me with all the trouble surrounding me, but I did need help. Just not that kind of help.

  “Uh, Phoebe? What’s wrong?” Panic laced her voice, and I felt bad for answering the phone like that.

  “Nothing like that. I promise I’m fine,” I rushed out.

  God knew Millie would walk through hell for me, and if that meant coming with guns blazing, she’d do it.

  Her breath came out in a whoosh and anger quickly followed. “Phoebe Danvers! Don’t answer the phone like that with this shitstorm swirling around you! You scared me half to death,” she scolded in a motherly tone. Sometimes I swore she felt like she was my mother. She treated me like I was a responsibility as much as a friend.

  “I know. I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “It’s fine, honey. So what do you need help with now that I know your life doesn’t depend on it?” she joked.

  “Well, I need to get out of dinner.”

  “Is there a specific reason you don’t want to have dinner?” she questioned.

  “It’s with Hux and his parents and sister.” I dropped my voice an octave, because I didn’t want Hux to overhear. His place was large and loft-like. It’d be easy as hell to hear me through the walls.

  “Wait, Hux has a sister?” she shouted.

  I was surprised she was so happy about him having a sister. But she was also a hopeless romantic, so she probably thought I would end up with a sister-in-law, therefore someone new to induct into our sisterhood.

  I was shocked to find out he had a sister too. Davina was a year younger than me at twenty-nine. Hux didn’t tell me much about her, just that we would get along great and I’d have nothing to worry about. His parents had been married thirty-five years and, according to Hux, still got along as if they were in the honeymoon phase.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to have dinner with his parents. They had to be great people to raise a son like Hux. As much as I was scared of my feelings for Hux, I couldn’t deny that he was an amazing man. Even though he knew I was in danger, not only did he take his shot with me romantically, he protected me in every way possible.

  I would love nothing more than to have a normal dinner with Hux’s parents. But the last time I’d met anyone’s parents was ten years ago, and those were Millie’s. It was a different situation. I wanted to impress them, but I knew it was casual. With Hux’s parents, it would be anything but. They were probably coming over to suss out the woman who suddenly entered their son’s life. I knew Hux was serious about us—although I still wasn’t sure how he got there so fast—so they would want to know the woman who captured their son’s attention.

  Therefore, I had to make a good impression. And by good, I meant a fucking great impression. I couldn’t screw up dinner with them, and there was a high probability I would do just that.

  Also, let’s not forget Davina.

  She would fight to the death for her older brother. I didn’t ask too many questions after Hux said they were coming over for dinner, but he spoke fondly of Davina, so they had to be at least a little close.

  Thus, I was wigging out.

  “Yes, Millie. That’s not the point; stay the course,” I hissed at her. “I need to get out of this dinner!”

  “That is so not happening. At least not with my help,” she told me gleefully, even laughing.

  “And why not?” I fumed, although I knew she would say it.

  “This is so good. Phoebe, you have a chance to have more than just me in your life. This is giving you the opportunity to open yourself up to more people,” she stressed, her tone hopeful.

  Which terrified me.

  “I know.” I sighed dejectedly.

  Millie wasn’t going to help me, and I had no one else to call. Huxley already told me I wasn’t getting out of it. I was stuck. Thoroughly.

  I guessed it was time to pull my big girl panties up and make dinner for his family.

  He said he was going to order out, but there was no way in hell I was going to allow him to do that the first time I met them.

  “I need to fix dinner. If I start now, it’ll be done right as they arrive.”

  “All right, honey. I love you. I really am sorry I can’t help you, but this is a good thing. You’ll see that eventually,” Millie said reassuringly.

  “Yeah, yeah. Love you too,” I replied wearily.

  I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone, leaning back in the bed to dig my palms in my eyes. I really needed a nap. Whenever I was emotionally exhausted, a nap always helped me recharge. And I was emotionally spent.

  I couldn’t nap though. I was going to fix a pot roast with carrots, onions, diced potatoes, and various spices, which needed time to cook in the pressure cooker, if Hux even had one. I jumped out of bed and set out with the task in mind to see if we had the stuff we needed.

  _______________

  I searched Hux’s kitchen for all the equipment and ingredients required. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t find half of what I needed. It would have been nice to know Hux’s family was coming over before I packed my stuff up to stay at his place. I would have grabbed my cooking stuff and spices. Instead, I had to endure the pleasure of explaining to Stone everything I needed. I wasn’t allowed to leave the condo, much to my dismay, but I understood it was for my safety.

  It would have been so much easier to explain to Huxley what I needed so he could pick it up, but he didn’t want to leave my side. Even with all his security, the building’s doorman, and the fact that a key was needed to get on the elevator to the top floor where he lived, he wasn’t going to leave me alone.

  Thus, I was stuck relaying all my needs to Stone. I now understood his name. Talking to him was like talking to a stone wall. He barely spoke a word. At one point, I was so frustrated by explaining the exact type of thyme I needed that I tossed the phone to Hux and said, “You speak Stone. Help me.”

  Of course, Huxley smirked, chuckling lightly, but took the phone and helped.

  While I waited for Stone to get back with everything, I made myself at home like Hux asked and watched a show on his flat screen. He told me he had a few things he needed to do in his home office and that I was welcome to anything.

  Instead of snooping like I wanted to, I settled on the couch.

  Boy oh boy, did I want to snoop.

  I wanted any information about Huxley I could get.

  But I wouldn’t invade his privacy.

  All I had to do was ask.

  Stone arrived almost an hour later with everything I asked for from the store, down to the exact brand of pressure cooker. I apologized for my frustration and short temper, explaining this was my first time meeting a boyfriend’s parents. Stone nodded and gave me a small, very tiny smile and then left abruptly.

  After he was gone, I began dinner preparations, and Huxley finally left his office to join me. As I was dicing everything up and tossing it in the pressure cooker, he stood behind me, arms wrapped around my waist, chin on my shoulder, and watched me. A few times, he would put his lips to my neck, shoulder, or ear, and I would have to stop chopping so I didn’t take a finger off.

  Huxley was very distracting.

  I was learning that his lips didn’t have to be on my lips to go into a Hux Fog.

  They could be on any part of my body, even something as simple as my shoulder, and I went into the Fog.

  It was very strange for me to have my body affected like it was around him. I was used to being in control all the time, and around him, I wasn’t in control. I was a fish gasping and flopping for water.

  No man had ever done what he had to me.

  A simple kiss from him was as great as an orgasm from any man before him—which was saying something, even if there weren’t that
many.

  A kiss was as good as an orgasm.

  It seriously blew my mind.

  “What was college like?” Hux asked out of the blue, and I laughed, sneaking a look at him over my shoulder.

  “You seem to know everything about me, so why are you asking?” I giggled, throwing the chopped carrots in the stainless steel bowl.

  “I know the factual things, not the stories you’d relive with Mille,” he replied, sitting on the counter next to me. With his new position, I could see his face while I continued fixing dinner. I liked being able to look at him and see the genuine curiosity.

  “College was... an experience. I tried my best to stay away from other people and just focus on school. Millie refused to accept that. The first year, she would literally drag me out with her. Eventually, I realized she wasn’t going to give up on me and stopped fighting her. There were many times we were so hungover we skipped class. I’m honestly not sure how we graduated.” I giggled, thinking back to every time we’d both wake up feeling like death was coming for us.

  Hux smiled down at me. “Sounds like y’all were trouble,” he noted.

  “Oh, we were. We still can be.” I winked at him.

  Throwing the skin away from my sweet onions, I moved back to the cutting board to start dicing them when Hux asked his next question, my movements and heart stopping for a split second.

  “What were your parents and grandparents like?”

  I peered at him through my lashes and saw he was watching my hands. Trying to ignore my stutter, I continued cutting. He wasn’t looking at me when he asked, and for an odd reason, that made me comfortable talking to him about my family.

  “My mom had me young, too young, and my dad wasn’t ready to grow up. I don’t remember him, but from what I was told by my mom and then Nanny and Papa, he stuck around for the first year then bailed. The year he was around, he was a shitty father, according to them. He didn’t like doing anything with me and used every excuse in the book to hand me off to someone else. My nanny always told me my mom and I were better off without him. She used to say he was Mom’s first love, but not the type of person to settle down with.” My heart ached, thinking back to all the conversations Nanny and I would have. She had a few health issues, so she was unable to get up and move around a lot, so we’d sit in her bed and talk for hours. Sometimes about nothing at all and other times about heavy shit, like my father and her helping me understand why he left.

  “You never looked for him, after your mom and grandparents passed?” Hux asked curiously, nabbing one of the carrots out of the pressure cooker.

  “No,” I stated simply. I never thought about it. I had all I needed family-wise, so there was no need for me to go looking for someone who didn’t want me.

  “I could find him,” Hux said quietly, and I peeked at him. This man really would do anything for me.

  Shaking my head, I told him, “I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t want him in my life. I had enough love from the people who wanted to be there. I don’t have the mental capacity to listen to his excuses.”

  He gave me a sad smile. “If you ever change your mind, the offer stands indefinitely.”

  Setting the knife and onion down, I wedged myself between Hux’s legs and gazed up at him. His hand slid across my cheek and into my hair at the nape of my neck. My desire for him was growing, and his gentleness with me intensified that need. In this one conversation, he had completely broken down another wall, making me feel safe to talk about my loved ones.

  “I think I like you,” I admitted, my fear no longer forcing me to keep my feelings to myself, at least for this moment.

  Hux’s growl snapped my attention back to his face and his eyes darkened before his mouth touched mine in a bruising, possessive kiss. My breath escaped my lungs, and I couldn’t inhale anymore oxygen. If this was the way I died, it’d be the way to go.

  Hux pulled away, and I inhaled sharply, not daring to open my eyes and let go of the moment we just shared.

  His face was close to mine, indicated by his breath tickling the hair that had fallen in my face.

  “Like you too, baby,” he whispered, and my eyes opened to find him staring at me intently. I think he more than liked me, but he didn’t express it, which made me more comfortable.

  A phone ringing in the direction of Hux’s office broke our spell.

  “I need to get that. I’ll be back to set the table,” he told me, kissing my forehead and hopping off the counter, striding in the direction of his office.

  I sighed, watching his ass in his jeans as he walked away. He had a great ass.

  Dinner was done. The carrots were sweetly glazed and the roast smelled heavenly. My mouth had been salivating for the last two hours at the aroma drifting throughout Hux’s loft.

  I set the table with the best glass dishes I could find. Hux said he would set the table, but I wasn’t going to disturb him. I wasn’t sure how my ordeal with the Disciples was affecting his other cases, so I didn’t want to bother him.

  With all the plates set, food expertly organized around the table, cutlery lined up perfectly, and wineglasses ready, I began freaking out again. I needed to go change and only had a few minutes before his parents and sister walked through his front door. I was prepared, but I also wasn’t. What if Hux told everyone I was staying at his house since mine wasn’t safe?

  Get a grip, Phoebe! You know this is under control. They will love you.

  Taking in a much needed breath and then exhaling it and ridding myself of the stress, I started down the hall, finding my way to Hux’s room and into his huge walk-in closet. I decided on a pair of black, bell bottom jeans that fit my ass and legs perfectly but didn’t look indecent. I chose an army green long-sleeved sweater that was loose and came down to my collarbone, with crisscross cutouts on the back.

  Quickly walking to the bathroom, I ran a brush through my hair, swiped mascara on my eyelashes, and added a clear gloss to my lips.

  “Phoebe!” Hux called me from the living room. I entered the room and came face-to-face with Huxley’s family, plus a little boy who wasn’t mentioned before.

  “This is my mom, Mary,” Hux said, pointing to the shortest woman in the room. She had brown hair that was cut into a stylish pixie, framing her face beautifully and showing off her sharp cheekbones. She had the most beautiful smile plastered on her face and came rushing to me.

  “Hi, honey! You’re so beautiful,” she breathed, enveloping me in a strong hug I didn’t expect from someone so small.

  “Hi, Mrs. Carson,” I choked out, trying to breathe around her massive hug.

  “Woman, you’re choking the poor girl.” A man who wasn’t Hux but sounded somewhat like him laughed.

  Mrs. Carson jumped back with a sheepish smile and pink cheeks but took my hand and guided me to the tall man I correctly assumed was Hux’s dad.

  “This is Huxley’s father, Jeffrey. And I insist that you call me Mary,” she scolded, smile still firmly in place. I wasn’t sure it was possible for someone to smile for so long, but she seemed genuinely happy to meet me.

  “Hi, Mr. Carson.” I smiled at him, ready to lift my hand up for a handshake, but he too pulled me into a tight hug yet let me go much quicker than his counterpart did.

  When he released me, he elbowed his son and grinned. “Got you a good one from what I see.”

  “Dad!” Davina chided at the same time Mary scolded, “Jeffrey!”

  Huxley didn’t say a word but smirked back at his dad.

  Davina stepped up, pulling me into what I was dubbing the Carson Hug, because they were extremely tight, and every one of them hugged the same way.

  “I’m Davina, Hux’s sister.”

  “Hey, I’m Phoebe.”

  Davina instantly put me at ease. She seemed easygoing and much like her brother in the female form. I gazed down at the little boy who was half hiding behind Davina’s legs but still curiously peeking up at me. I squatted down so I was eye-to-eye with him and s
miled.

  “And who might you be?” I asked softly.

  He had the same striking green eyes as Davina, so I assumed he was her son. He had dirty-blond hair I swore I had seen elsewhere but couldn’t place it.

  “Cal,” he whispered.

  “Hi, Cal. I’m Phoebe.”

  I held my hand out to make him feel more welcome. He placed his hand in mine, gazing up at me like I was a new toy to figure out. Smiling at him once more, I stood up and addressed Davina.

  “Hux didn’t mention Cal coming. I hope he wants to eat what I made.”

  She waved it off. “He was going to stay with his sitter, but she was busy, so he came to meet you as well.”

  I grinned down at him and moved to the kitchen to find a non-glass plate. Cal couldn’t be more than five years old, so I didn’t want to risk him dropping a glass plate and cutting himself.

  “Whatever you cooked smells amazing. I’m starving,” I heard Jeffrey say from the dining room table.

  Mary was behind me and rolled her eyes to the ceiling before peeking back down. “I have to tell you, Huxley is just like his father, and because of that, I’m praying to God to send you all the patience you’re going to need with him.”

  Snorting with laughter, I told her, “Yes. I’ve learned already that I need a lot of patience with him. I’m not sure how you’ve lasted as long as you have.”

  “Oh, honey, once you realize how much these Carson men have to offer and how sweet they can actually be, you’ll know how I’ve lasted so long,” she replied, patting me on the shoulder and leaving the room.

  My demeanor softened after that. Mary was right. Huxley had a lot to offer, and when he wasn’t bossing me around, he was really sweet. There was a lot to Huxley Carson, and even though it had only been a week since we started dating, I could already see that.

  I found a plastic plate and joined everyone else in the dining room. Mary and Jeffrey sat at the head and foot of the table. Cal and Davina were on one side, leaving space for Hux and me on the other.

  Setting Cal’s plate down in front of him, I took my place next to Hux and smiled at everyone. We filled our plates up and took the first few bites silently. Jeffrey was the first to break the silence.