Surrendering To Him

by Hope Jones

  “Holy shit,” he mumbled around a mouthful of the pot roast.

  “Watch your mouth at the table,” Mary reprimanded him, but winked at me.

  “This is amazing,” Davina said, hiding her chewing mouth behind a napkin.

  “Thanks y’all,” I murmured timidly, ducking my head to hide the heat that was creeping up my neck.

  “So, what do you do?” Davina asked.

  This was a topic I could talk about all day, every day. I loved my job and had no issue expressing how much I loved it.

  “I’m an investigative journalist for East Haven Daily. I have my own column,” I expressed proudly.

  “Wow, that’s cool!” she said in quiet amazement.

  “I’m not a hot PI, but I love my job and wouldn’t trade it for the world,” I explained, beaming.

  “The way Huxley explains it, you’re out in the field as much as he is,” Mary noted with a tightness around her eyes that wasn’t there before.

  “Normally, I only go out to talk to sources or to interview people.”

  “I wished it was like that for Hux,” she grumbled under her breath, and Hux let out a frustrated sigh.

  “We’ve talked about this, Mom,” he said.

  “I know,” Mary replied, her voice thick and shoulders slumped forward. I looked at Huxley who looked guilty, with a heaviness around his eyes.

  I took it that she was as unhappy with his job as I was. If we had nothing else in common, at least we had that.

  “Do you have any family?” Davina asked, and Mary’s head snapped to her, eyes wide, then to Hux, and she finally peeked at me. She looked apologetic. He let me know that he told his parents about my background.

  “It’s just me,” I mumbled but tried smiling to ease my ache and her discomfort.

  “I’m so sorry,” Davina rushed out, but I waved it off.

  “It’s fine. It was a long time ago,” I assured her.

  She nodded, looking remorseful.

  “So, someone has to give me dirt on this guy.” I pointed to Hux, trying to lighten the mood.

  “We have enough of that to last a lifetime,” Mary said, wiping her mouth and taking a sip of water.

  “He used to run around in nothing but his underwear and a cowboy hat. He had a lasso and insisted he wrangled horses for a living.”

  The water I was trying to swallow almost came back up when I burst out with laughter. Luckily, I was able to swallow it before I embarrassed myself.

  My laughter subsiding, I glanced at Hux who was chewing his food. He caught me staring and shrugged. He wasn’t even a bit embarrassed about his cowboy dreams.

  “Don’t let Davina fool you. We have plenty of embarrassing stories about her as well.” Mary pointed to her daughter with her fork, a loving smile on her face.

  “Mom!” Davina exclaimed, pink creeping up her cheeks. “I’m sure Phoebe doesn’t want to hear about me. After all, she’s dating my brother, not me.”

  I shook my head. “Truthfully, I want to know it all. I want to know what he was like as a child and how he grew up.”

  Davina smiled sadly. “He really is a great big brother. He was always very protective of me, the entire family. He’s always been stubborn as a mule, but all of us Carsons are.”

  Hux gave me a secret look that meant he wanted to kiss me. Before he could get me in trouble for dirty glances, I looked at Mary and Jeffrey and asked what they did for a living.

  “Jeff is a retired Army veteran. He does woodwork on the side, selling a few pieces here and there, but he mostly keeps them for himself. It helps him pass the time. I’m a registered nurse at East Haven General, but this man here,” she said, pointing her thumb at Jeff, “has me considering retiring as well. He makes it look so glamorous.” She smiled, leaning over to give her husband a peck on the cheek. His head turned sharply, and their lips touched. I watched her body melt. It was very obvious she loved her husband.

  I turned my attention back to Davina who was wearing a small grin. “How old is Cal?” I asked, shoving a tender carrot in my mouth. I couldn’t bake to save my life, but I made a mean dinner. The asparagus was so tender it practically melted in my mouth.

  Davina looked down at her boy, tussling his hair and rubbing his cheek when he gazed up at her. She said lovingly, “He’s five and finally in school. He enjoys feeling like a big boy and learning.”

  Cal leaned against his mother but peered up at me timidly. He was curious about me but too shy to ask any questions or speak much.

  I hadn’t ever really been around kids but set my anxiety aside to ask, “Are you liking school?”

  Cal’s eyes lit up, and I let out a relieved breath, knowing I asked the right question. “It’s awesome. We get to go to a huge library every week and pick out a book. Mom reads it to me every Friday night. We play with Play-Doh too. It’s lots of fun,” he chattered excitedly, shoving a carrot in his mouth then wrinkling his nose as he chewed it. I had to tamp down my laughter.

  “That sounds so cool. School was always fun for me too.” I ate the last bite of pot roast on my plate, almost moaning at the savory taste.

  I saw everybody was almost finished and felt a pang of disappointment. When Hux told me his family was coming over for dinner and to meet me, I was nervous. After my initial nerves, I realized I liked Hux’s family and didn’t want them to leave. I enjoyed having them here.

  I offered to gather everyone’s plate, but Mary insisted she would do it while the rest of us moved to the living room. Internally, I did a happy dance that they were staying for a bit longer.

  As we moved to the couches, Hux’s hands landed on my shoulders, and I looked up at him with a genuinely happy grin. The corner of his lips tipped up and he dropped a kiss on my cheek. Davina, holding Cal, came up next to me. “We should go shopping sometime. Ya know, get to know each other better.”

  I wasn’t sure when it happened, but Davina made me feel completely comfortable. I didn’t feel it was necessary to put walls up around her. Realizing this, I told her, “I’d love that. Would you mind if my best friend tagged along? You guys will get along great. You actually remind me of her a little bit.”

  Davina beamed at me. “I’m totally down with that. I’ll make plans with Cal’s sitter.”

  “Are you and his father together?” I questioned but realized it might have been rude when Hux’s hands squeezed my shoulders before he came to sit on the other side of me.

  Davina’s eyes darted away when she mumbled, “No.”

  I quickly tried to backtrack. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t talk about Cal’s father much. No harm, no foul.”

  Heat crept up my neck and cheeks, and I didn’t know how to move on from my fuck-up.

  Jeffrey changed the subject and cut the tension. “Phoebe, how do you like working for East Haven Daily?” he asked while stretching out and crossing his feet at the ankles.

  Huxley made the same move, looking like the younger version of his father. His arm slid across the back of the couch and he played with my hair. After a few moments, I relaxed into his side.

  “I love it.” I leaned farther into him before continuing. “My boss is amazing and supports the majority of the stories I bring him. Chasing my next piece is such an adrenaline rush and one of my favorite parts of the job.”

  Mary entered the living room, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, and sat down next to her husband. She looked between Hux and me and after a few moments finally looked me in the eyes. “I like you with my son. I think you complement each other.”

  Glancing at Hux, I cleared my throat, hoping he would be of some help. I felt uncomfortable under her intense stare and wasn’t sure how to respond.

  “Thank you,” I said, but it came out more like a question.

  Mary leaned up, leaving the comfort of her husband’s side. “Hux has told me a little about you, and I have to say, I’m so sorry for your losses. I couldn’t imagine losing the only family
I knew. With that being said, don’t let their deaths stop you from finding love and friendship. I understand the fear, but you can’t let that rule your life. You’ll never live a life worth its salt if you let fear take over. I know as a mother and grandmother that I wouldn’t want that kind of life for my children.”

  Tears were trying their hardest to escape my eyes. My heart felt so full yet so empty at the same time. Deep down, I knew Mary was right. Nanny, Papa, and Mom would be disappointed in how I closed myself off. I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

  Mary saw this struggle and shook her head. “There’s no need to say anything. Just think, really think about what I said. With that being said, we must be leaving. Davina rode with us and poor Cal is exhausted,” she said, nodding at Cal who was knocked out on his mom’s chest.

  Hux left my side to take Cal from Davina and help his parents to the front door. Finally gathering my wits, I followed behind them and held the door open as Davina left first, Hux right behind her, then Mary. She smiled and told me, “It was lovely to meet you. I hope we can have a girls day soon.”

  Jeffrey stayed behind until his family was out of earshot then turned and gazed down at me with soft eyes and an easy grin.

  Pulling me into an embrace, he whispered in my ear, “My wife may come off abrasive, but she isn’t wrong. Our son won’t hurt you in any way, and despite everything you’ve been through, I’d like to think he’d help you heal, if you let him.”

  The tears I was able to keep at bay came back with a vengeance and spilled over my cheeks. Hugging him back tightly, his scent reminded me of my papa’s, and it was such a comfort the tears came even harder.

  “Thank you,” I choked out, pulling away.

  “Ah, Pop, don’t make my woman cry.” Hux stood behind his father, and the resemblance between the two men was uncanny.

  Jeffrey stepped out the door, and Huxley took up residence at my side, tucking me in close. The familiarity of his embrace was a welcome feeling, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Jeffrey gave me a wink before rounding the corner to the elevator.

  A few minutes later, Hux and I were in bed with the lights off.

  “Mom go too far?” Hux asked into the otherwise quiet room, rubbing small circles on my stomach.

  I thought about it for a second before responding. “No. It wasn’t expected, but she didn’t go too far. I think she was trying to help me, and I appreciate that.”

  I felt Huxley’s head bob up and down on the pillow. “You gonna take her advice and think about what she said?”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled, tucking my back to his front even tighter.

  “Good.” He rubbed circles on my stomach.

  I was restless, unable to sleep with one question in my head not letting me rest.

  “What’s the deal with Cal’s father?”

  The question was spoken timidly, hoping not to overstep a boundary. The way Hux’s body tensed behind me had me fearful I did cross a line.

  He sighed heavily, giving me a squeeze. “We don’t truly know who Cal’s father is. That’s something Davina has kept to herself, even five years later. My mom has tried asking a few times, but Davina shuts the topic down immediately, leaving no room for discussion. Eventually Mom gave up, loving Cal regardless, so it didn’t matter anyway.”

  My body relaxed having Hux’s answer. I was too chickenshit to tell him who I thought Cal’s father was. That was a topic for another time.

  “Sleep, baby.” He kissed the back of my head softly and settled into my back.

  “M’kay,” I replied drowsily, feeling lighter than I had in years.

  Ten

  Cock-Blocked, Again

  IT WAS LATE morning—11:00 a.m. to be precise.

  Huxley had woken me up with sweet kisses on my cheeks then down my jaw and across my collarbone. When he was satisfied I was fully awake, he pecked at my lips despite my shoving him away because of the threat of morning breath.

  He mumbled against my lips that he didn’t care and kissed me roughly and deeply anyway.

  It was delicious.

  Toe-curling.

  Yet, I wanted so much more.

  Uncurling my hands from the sheet, I trailed them down his back until I reached his ass. I tugged him toward me, and he groaned low in his throat and thrust his hardness between my legs. I gasped, which gave Hux more opportunity, and he pushed his tongue in my mouth, tangling it with mine. His hand wrapped around my hair and he deepened the kiss further.

  He started shoving my panties down my leg when we heard a ringing in the distance.

  “No,” I whined when he ripped his mouth from mine.

  “Sorry, baby, it could be work,” he told me regretfully then got up and went in search of his pants. He left the top button of his jeans undone and moved to the other side of the room to retrieve his phone. By the time he made it to his phone, it had stopped ringing and started again.

  Apparently, it was urgent.

  Sighing in frustration, I flung my head back, pulled the pillow over my face, and groaned into it loudly. We had been cock-blocked again. By another damn cell phone.

  When we went to bed that night, I was going to throw our phones out the window or put them in the fridge so they couldn’t be heard.

  Hux left the room, presumably so I couldn’t hear his conversation.

  I could already tell I needed extra caffeine to get through the day. I found the henley Hux took off last night before bed and threw it on over my nightgown, brushed my hair, and headed down the long hallway leading to the kitchen where I overheard Huxley on the phone in his office.

  “She is not fuckin’ doin’ it,” he growled. I felt bad for the person on the receiving end of that.

  I didn’t want to eavesdrop, so I continued my trek down the hallway, but not before I heard the last bit. “I don’t want Phoebe breathing the same air as him. Find another way.”

  Logically, I knew it was still eavesdropping, but my name was brought into the conversation, so I felt I had a right to be a part of that conversation.

  Reversing my steps, I headed back in the direction of Hux’s office.

  I knocked on the door twice then entered without waiting for confirmation.

  The décor in his office was quite different from the rest of his place. Everything in his office was dark wood, whereas the rest of his condo was white and gold. His office had gray walls, a large cherry wood bookshelf to the right, a filing cabinet to the left. His desk, which was ginormous, faced the door, and behind it was a set of windows.

  He was standing behind the desk, frustration causing deep lines around his eyes. One hand was on his hip, the other on the phone he just slammed on the desk, and his eyes were on me. The frustration melted away, leading into desire, and his gaze landed on my legs and then slowly made their way up my body. His eyes stopped their perusal, and he looked me in mine.

  “Don’t get dreamy eyes with me. I wanna know who you don’t want me around,” I sassed, mimicking him and putting a hand on my hip.

  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he started shaking his head.

  “My name was used; therefore, I have a right to know.”

  “Phoebe.” He sighed impatiently.

  “Huxley,” I said sternly.

  “It was work,” he evaded.

  “Well, thank you for that, Captain Obvious. I already assumed that. I want to know what it was about. Who don’t you want me around?”

  “Hector,” he stated simply, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

  The head of the cartel.

  Well, that was unexpected.

  Huxley turned away from me and faced the window, seeming lost in thought.

  Quietly, I moved around the desk and leaned against his back. I placed my hands on his abs.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, rubbing small circles on his stomach to comfort and calm him.

  “He called the day before yesterday when Roman and I were upstairs at your house, after th
e drive-by. He wants to set up a meeting to talk to you. He says he has a proposal to put an end to all this.”

  I really hadn’t been expecting Hector to only want to speak to me.

  But it wasn’t an awful idea. We could meet somewhere Hector would be less likely to try to kill me and discuss whatever proposal he had. We could try to put a stop to the cartel car chases, the drive-bys, and having to live with panic buttons and state of the art security systems. Hux and I could figure out who we were together, without danger and threats hanging over our heads.

  Determination turning my voice to steel, I told Hux, “Set the meet.”

  Faster than I could blink, he whipped around, grabbed my hips roughly, and yanked me to him.

  “No fuckin’ way,” he growled.

  “Honey, it’s a possibility of freedom and safety,” I reasoned, trailing my arms up his arms, around his neck, and pulling him closer.

  “And if it’s a setup?” he retorted angrily.

  “If that’s your concern, then set the meeting somewhere you’ll have the upper hand. Hell, set it up at the office. I don’t care. This is worth it,” I stressed, squeezing his neck lightly.

  “Not gonna be worth it if you aren’t around to enjoy it, because it’s a setup.”

  “And I won’t enjoy you spending all your time and effort trying to bring him down, leaving no time for us. If he wants to talk to me, set the meet. If you don’t, I’ll find a way to go to it myself, but you won’t have shit to do with it and won’t be able to keep me safe.”

  He growled low in his throat in frustration but nodded once, tersely.

  “I’m only agreeing to this, because I can control the narrative and keep you safe if I set the meeting.”

  My big smile softened the roughness around his face a little bit, but I could tell he wasn’t happy about it.

  I could focus on getting my home back to normal before the bullet holes. I could rest easy knowing Hux and his men may not be in danger because of me anymore, although their jobs were still dangerous. I could focus on finding a therapist who I wouldn’t mind spilling my guts to and start the healing process.