The Hidden Rose

by Jayne Amanda Maynes

  Chapter 23

  Jeff seemed to enjoy listening to Mac talk about some of the things we had been involved in though like me Mac refused to answer any questions about the different missions we had taken part in, he did tell Jeff about the final test we took while at special forces training.

  “You guys have really been together since then?” Jeff asked referring to when we met at special forces training.

  “I was only a Staff Sargent back then and Captain Waters was only a Lieutenant, but yea we been together since then. I was the only one Sam asked for from our unit back then,” Mac said.

  “So how come you asked for Mac and not the others, Sam?” Jeff asked me.

  “Mac and I arrived at the training center the same day. He teased me about my age, but always showed me the respect my rank demanded. While the others learned to trust me they didn't accept me because of my age, only Mac accepted me. There have been so many times since then I was sure I'd lost his trust and respect, only to have him show me he both trusted and respected me, as a friend and an officer. His respect for me as a friend was more important to me than his respect for my rank,” I said.

  “So the others didn't respect you as a friend?” Jeff asked.

  “They respected my rank, but since they held to strict military protocol they never tried to be my friends and rejected any attempt I made to be friends with them. White Rose was different, we were all friends first, rank only came into play when we were working with other companies. It wouldn't have gone over if we didn't put on a show of military decorum for those we served with. Military decorum has a place, but strict military decorum can get you killed. The men under me trusted me because we were more like family and close friends than a military unit,” I said.

  Jeff looked from me to Mac and saw that indeed Mac was more like a big protective brother to me than someone who followed blindly whatever orders I might dish out.

  “I don't know what it's like to be that close to someone. I didn't know it was even possible. Mom and dad aren't that close, and they're the only people I know that even come close,” he said.

  How do you respond to a statement like that? Mac looked over at me to see if I was going to say something and all I could do was shake my head.

  “That kind of closeness comes from having to rely on each other for your lives on a daily basis. You don't go through what we have and not develop strong friendship and trust in each other,” Mac said.

  I didn't like the direction the conversation was turning fearing either Mac or I might say something we shouldn't. I didn't want to alienate Jeff since he seemed to think I was someone he could finally look up to, but if the choice was alienating him, or telling him about what we had been through together, alienating him was the preferred option.

  “Jeff I think we've been indulgent enough talking about us and what we've done. How about you telling me what you've done since I left,” I said.

  He gave me a hurt look, but knew better than to ask anymore questions about what we did, and said all he had done was go to school and church. Apparently mom and dad had taken a vacation and he spent the time with Sarah since it seemed Kathy cared as much about the church as I did.

  “Tell me about Sarah. How's she doing? Is that asshole Gordon treating her alright? Do you think she'd be willing to have me stop by for a visit?” I asked.

  “I don't think Gordon would like you stopping by, but I know Sarah would love to see you,” Jeff said.

  “Maybe I can take her out to lunch or something. That way Gordon wouldn't have to deal with me calling him on his bullshit,” I said.

  “You really don't like him do you?” Jeff asked,

  “Are you telling me you do like him? Jeff, Gordon is so full of shit nothing he says is trustworthy. If he says the sun is shining it's a good idea to carry an umbrella,” I said.

  “He's okay most of the time. I don't like the way he treats Sarah sometimes, but she doesn't treat him very good sometimes either,” Jeff said.

  All I could think was sure he was okay, and so were all the men I had killed. I'm sure some of the men that died with a crossbow bolt or bullet from me didn't deserve to die, but with few exceptions they had chosen the risks. They were commanders ordering others against me. My opinion of Gordon Allen was, he didn't deserve my sister, or anyone for that matter. He was one of those men who talked tough, but when it came time to back their words with actions, they proved to be all talk.

  I decided I didn't care if Gordon liked it or not I was going to visit my sister and insure she knew if she ever needed me I'd be there, for whatever reason she might need.

  Mac offered to let us stay at his motel room for the night since he had two beds, I told Jeff if he wanted he could stay with Mac, but I intended to sleep in my apartment.

  “How will I get back to your place if I stay with Mac?” Jeff asked.

  “Either Mac can give you a ride, or you can wait until I come pick you up around seven in the morning,” I said.

  “Tomorrow's Saturday. I have no intention of being up that early in the morning on a Saturday,” Jeff said.

  “Sir, I can bring him back over after he gets up in the morning, I was thinking of sleeping in myself.” Mac winked.

  “If Mac is planning on sleeping in...” Jeff started.

  “Jeff sleeping in for Mac means he'll be up around five in the morning,” I said.

  Jeff still opted to take his chances of Mac letting him sleep in.

  “Mac I was wondering if you could apartment sit for me for a little while tomorrow? My furniture will be delivered and I need someone there so they can bring it in and get it setup. I need to go see Sarah and chances are if I don't do it early, that ass she's married to will try telling me she isn't home, or some shit like that,” I said.

  “I could apartment sit for you,” Jeff offered.

  “Are you sure Jeff? I thought you might want to go see Sarah with me,” I said.

  “Unless you need me to tell you how to get to her house, I think I'd rather not be there for the fireworks that are likely to go off if Gordon's home when you get there,” Jeff said.

  “The kid has a point sir, I've seen you when you get upset and it isn't a pretty sight,” Mac interjected.

  “I don't get upset easy Mac, you of all people should know that,” I said.

  Jeff still didn't want to go with to see Sarah if there was any chance of Gordon being home, because he knew Gordon felt about me the way I felt about Gordon and he was afraid one of us would end up killing the other and he wasn't exactly sure who would kill who, though I think he suspected if one of us got hurt it would more likely be Gordon than me.

  Mac offered to go with me and I laughed think he did so just to make sure Gordon wouldn't do something that would get me hurt, so he changed his offer to helping Jeff babysit the apartment instead.

  Jeff didn't like the idea of sleeping on the floor and chose to spend the night with Mac. I knew if mom and dad found out I said okay they would be pissed off, but the way they dumped Jeff on me for the weekend I really didn't care. I was in charge of making sure Jeff didn't get into trouble and I didn't know anyone better qualified at making sure than Mac.

  I headed back to the apartment after dropping Jeff and Mac off at the motel, and wondered if I dared be myself tonight. I had a nightie in one of the boxes I had gotten from Kathy's as well as a couple dresses and shoes. I was going to be alone at least until morning and no one at the apartment complex knew anything about me.

  I turned on the lights closing the door and found the only thing to sit on in the apartment was either the floor or the boxes that had clothes in them. Sitting on the floor at the moment didn't sound like such a good idea, and I was sure none of the boxes would be able to support my weight, at least not for long. Most of the things in the boxes belonged on hangers and the hangers they had been on were in the boxes all I would have to do is take them out and put them back on the hangers.

  The first box was all mens clothes and much of it
really should be put in dresser drawers, but since the dresser was part of the furniture that was going to be delivered the next day the best I could do was put them on hangers or leave them folded in the box, I opted to leave them in the box.

  The next box was toiletries, the restroom did have shelves for towels and such as well as a medicine cabinet I was able to get that box all put away. I started on the next box and heard someone at the door. No one here would know me, at least I didn't think anyone would, but there was definitely someone at the door.

  “May I help you?” I asked opening the door.

  “We live next door and just noticed the light on. We didn't know they rented out this apartment,” the man said.

  “You're welcome to come in, but the only place I can offer for you to have a seat is on the floor,” I said.

  “I take it you haven't moved any of your furniture in yet,” the woman said.

  “You could say that, I had no way of getting it here other than having it delivered. I've never had an apartment I needed to worry about furnishing before so I went out and bought all new furniture this afternoon after finding out the apartment wasn't furnished,” I said.

  “You mean you've always rented furnished apartments until now?” the woman asked.

  “No actually I've never rented an apartment until now. I joined the Air Force right out of high school and until now I've always lived in barracks with about ten or so other men all sharing a common space,” I said.

  “Communal showers too?” the woman asked.

  “My last duty station I had separate quarters from my men though it was still the same building, but uncle Sam furnished it, and if I didn't like the furnishings that was my problem, there wasn't much of a selection, though the officers could trade if someone else had something you liked and were willing to trade,” I said.

  “I take it you were over fighting in the war,” the man said.

  “I was over there trying to save as many lives as I could. My men and I didn't fight the kind of battles the Army and Marines fought. The battles we fought were when they fucked up and got trapped behind enemy lines, we were sent in to get them out. We had the job of making sure the Army and Marines had the best intelligence possible. I commanded a reconnaissance unit,” I said.

  “We think the war is disgusting, and those fighting it are equally disgusting,” the man said.

  “Really? So you're telling me you think I'm disgusting simply because I did what I was told to do after I joined the military? Let me guess you don't have religious reasons you think this war is disgusting, but you used religion to get out of serving in the military, and get out of the draft. I don't know who is more disgusting, someone who refuses to fight simply because they are cowards or someone who fights simply because they love to fight. Both are disgusting in my book and I've seen both kinds, I even had a Company commander who thought he could command better than I can that loved the war because it gave him license to kill people he didn't know simply because they didn't believe as he did and had a different color skin than he did,” I said.

  “So you're an enemy sympathizer,” the man asked.

  “If I were an enemy sympathizer it would have been impossible for me to do my job on the front lines,” I said.

  “You wouldn't care to explain that would you?” he asked.

  “Sure. When we got a report of our troops trapped behind enemy lines they would call me and my White Rose team in to go behind enemy line and extract them. Sometimes it meant having to kill enemy troops to get in and then back out, but my White Rose team never killed for the pleasure of killing. If at all possible we avoided killing anyone. When we would get to the troops trapped behind the lines I assumed command even if there were higher ranking officers still available to command in the companies, or even battalions. I wasn't the one that got them into their current situation and if they expected me to get them out I had to assume command. My first rule was always we do not kill anyone we don't have to kill. And from the time my men and I arrived the only objective was getting back to our side of the line without anyone else getting killed or wounded if possible. To accomplish our objective it was necessary at times for us to kill enemy troops, and since causing confusion in the enemy ranks would give us the best chance of getting out without killing anymore than necessary my men and I would target enemy officers only,” I said.

  “Wait a minute. You're the one they talked about on the news all the time? This White Rose commander?” the woman asked.

  “My reconnaissance team was called White Rose, as for what is on the news here I couldn't say one way or another since I haven't seen or heard the news other than on armed forces radio in almost two years,” I said.

  “You're right I did get out of the draft because I went on a mission for my church, but my best friend wasn't so lucky. He's home now according to him because of someone they call The White Rose. He got home about three months ago and got out early because he was wounded and almost died. He lost an arm in the battle before The White Rose showed up and stopped the fighting,” the man said.

  “I don't know anything about that and I doubt I'd remember your friend, after the first hundred men we rescued the names and faces all just kind of blurred together,” I said.

  “He said White Rose commander was someone named Captain Waters. That he had never seen anyone who commanded the kind of respect Captain Waters did,” the man said.

  “I've heard that quite often from a lot of enlisted men and junior officers, but there are few officers with the rank of Captain or higher that feel the same. Thus, the reason I'm still just a Captain, not a Major, or Lieutenant Colonel,” I said.

  “So you're Captain Waters that's been in the news so much lately. What did you do that they were looking for you?” the woman asked.

  “I told a doctor that happened to be a General and wanted to keep me in his hospital to go fuck himself and walked out of his hospital. I guess part of it might have been I told the Joint Chiefs to go fuck themselves as well, along with the President. For some reason all those people seem to think the world revolves around them. I always thought it revolved around the sun and that I was as good as anyone else,” I said.

  “You told the President to go... I'm surprised they didn't arrest you on the spot,” the man said.

  “I thought they might, the Joint Chiefs all looked like they were going to go into apoplectic shock at any moment. I never made it out of the building though. As soon as I got to the door I collapsed from exhaustion, that's why I was in the hospital,” I said.

  “They were just going to let you walk out of there, after telling the President to...” the man cut himself off.

  “What's the matter you can't say fuck? Now I'm curious what religion you're linked with, but then I think I can guess,” I said.

  I really didn't care what religion they were as long as they didn't try selling me their bill of goods. When he said what religion they were I just kind of nodded and let it go.

  “You're familiar with our religion?” the woman asked.

  “As far as I know my name is still on their records, but I haven't been inside one of their buildings in years, and by my book it still hasn't been long enough. You're welcome to come over whenever, as long as your religion stays outside my door. Your religion isn't the only one I disagree with, not by any stretch of the imagination. I view all religions the same, and have no time or energy for any of them,” I said.

  “You don't need to worry about us talking about the church since we've both become disenfranchised. We are hoping though since you don't care for the church if you would mind telling us why,” the man said.

  “I do mind, at least for now. As far as I'm concerned religion is one of those topics that cause strife between even the best of friends, and a subject I don't discuss unless someone really wants to take a chance of finding out just what truth is. Politics is another topic I don't discuss since like religion it hits on to many hot buttons,” I said.

  “Fair enoug
h. If you want we do have a cot, we can let you use since it doesn't appear you have any furniture,” the woman said.

  “I'll manage with the floor tonight, all my furniture is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. If you're around don't be to worried if there is a teenager and a man that makes most people look little hanging around. The teenager is my little brother and the man is Sargent Denvers, my first Sargent and a dear friend for the past two and a half years. They've agreed to babysit my apartment waiting for the furniture while I take care of some other things,” I said.

  I needed the alone time to try understanding why I had to be a man. There was no reason I couldn't teach as a woman. Sure there might be a few problems when it comes to spending time in the field for advanced survival, but by then there shouldn't be a single person going through the training that doesn't know who I am. Their silly pranks of spiders, bugs and snakes should have ended by the time they reach that point.

  No, now was not the time. I knew that, but didn't understand why. Somehow I would know when the time was right. I wondered if all the things I couldn't seem to quite remember would become clear when that time came. What was keeping them from being clear now?

  So much that wasn't making any sense like memories that had somehow been altered. I didn't know how I knew they had been altered, but they had to have been. They couldn't be accurate because if they were they had me doing things that I didn't believe possible. Things like magic, and there was no such thing as magic. What's more they had me as the woman I know I am, something I knew I would never have done, at least not the way these memories showed.

  I woke up still sitting on the floor, not even remembering the neighbors leaving. I stood up and noticed the door was locked, so knew I had to have let them out, or they had a copy of the key to my apartment. I made a note to get new locks for the door since I really didn't remember letting them out.

  I had no idea what time it was, and really didn't care what time it was. I felt rested and wanted to go for a run. I hadn't cared that the complex had a gym since I had never been interested in doing any weight training, and the gym wasn't near big enough to work out and do my martial arts exercises, but most of those, I could do while jogging.

  I changed into a set of fatigues and combat boots and headed out the door making sure I had my keys and hand gun. For how little I had in the apartment the last thing I needed, being uncertain about who all had a key, was to leave my forty-five and have it come up missing.

  I heard the door click and realized I had locked the knob from the inside but the deadbolt would require the key. If they had let themselves out and had done just what I had, the deadbolt hadn't been thrown. I locked the deadbolt and headed out for my run.

  I didn't pay much attention to the traffic, either motorized or foot since both were fairly light. I headed toward Mac's motel and tried remembering just how far it was from the apartment, and guessed maybe five miles, a nice run by any standard. About half way back to the apartment I noticed a car parked on the shoulder of the road and wondered if perhaps they were just having troubles. The closer I got the more a sense of pending trouble slipped down my spine, and my training started kicking in.

  I kept to the shadows, never taking my eye off the car while scanning the surrounding area at the same time. It wasn't long I was plenty close enough to hear anything they might be saying and slid even farther into the shadows.

  “Where did he go? At the speed he was going he should just about be here by now,” someone said.

  “I don't know where he went. One minute he was there and the next he was gone. I never seen anything like it, it's like he just vanished,” someone else said.

  I noticed them continuing to watch from the direction I had been coming from so slid past and came back taking out my forty-five and sliding a round in the chamber.

  “You boys seem to be lost and confused. Let me give you a bit of advice, if you're planning on waylaying someone it helps to know who they are and what they're capable of. For example if you had been planning on causing some trouble for me while I'm out here jogging trying to clear my head, it would have been better to have parked somewhere less conspicuous, not that it would have helped much since you still have no real idea who I am, or even what I'm capable of. Let me give you a clue about what your chances really are here. There are the two of you sitting here and three more looking down the road in the direction I was coming from. Now two of those three won't be of any help for probably an hour and then they still aren't likely to be worth much other than they should be conscious again by then,” I said.

  They both turned around slowly and spotted the forty-five I had leveled on them.

  “Now I think you have a better grasp of your current situation, let me explain what will improve your situation, and what will only acerbate it. For starters you can gently take those guns you have and lay them on the ground at your feet. Then when they are on the ground you can take two steps back turn toward your car and place you hands on the hood or trunk lid, you won't be standing against the car but about two feet away from the car since if your toes hang over the curb I'm likely to break them and possibly a few other bones as well,” I said.

  I waited while they both placed their guns on the ground and stepped back turning and placing their hands on the car. Stepping forward I picked up the guns and in a few seconds had them in several pieces.

  “For future reference let me tell you a little about this Air Force Base. It happens to be a special forces training base, and those going through the training here will be deployed to the front lines. Right now I'm on leave, but when my leave it over I will be stationed here as an instructor. I've had a few medical issues that have taken me off the front lines, but since my unit had the best record at what we did they decided rather than giving me a medical discharge it would be better to let me teach others to do what I could do. You're fortunate that my first Sargent wasn't here with me or you'd likely both be nursing multiple broken bones, and yes, like me he is also Air Force, though I doubt there is a Marine who would ever think of challenging him,” I said.

  “You're the one in the news?” one of the men said.

  “I have no idea. If you mean am I Captain Waters of White Rose, then yes I am,” I said.

  “We thought you'd be older, and bigger,” the other man said.

  “From what Micky told us about the time he met you, we thought you'd be at least ten feet tall and have muscles bulging out everywhere, the first man said.”

  “Everything okay Cap?” Mac asked.

  “It is Mac. You wouldn't happen to know what time it is would you?” I asked.

  “About three in the morning. I started following when I saw this car slow down after you turned around to head back to your place,” Mac said.

  “These boys just wanted to know about the merits of the Air Force over the other branches of the military. Isn't that right boys?” I asked.

  “Yea, that's right we was just trying to find out what he said,” the first man said.

  Mac started laughing and noticed the guns laying on the hood of the car in pieces. His laugh took on a menacing quality I was very familiar with and I gave him a look that he knew every bit as well as I knew the sound of his laugh.

  “I'm not a little boy that needs protecting Mac. Besides what makes you think you're capable of handling this kind of situation any better than I can, as I remember you're the one who refuses to step in the ring with me for fear of getting beat,” I said.

  “Yes sir. If you have everything in hand sir, I'll return to my motel then, I guess your brother needs my protection more then you do now,” Mac said.

  “Yes I believe he does, but before you go I was hoping you might be willing to instill a little of your commonsense in these two young men about the dangers of doing what they had been planning,” I said.

  “I guess you want to get back to your run, sir?” Mac asked.

  “It would be nice, then maybe I can get a couple more hours sleep before you br
ing Jeff back to the apartment,” I said.

  “You aren't going to leave us with this gorilla are you?” the second man asked.

  “Mac, a gorilla? Mac isn't a gorilla he is much more dangerous than any gorilla, but he knows better than to hurt you as long as you don't provoke him, or try reassembling those guns. His trigger finger isn't as forgiving as mine is, and he shoots damn near as well as I do,” I said.

  They looked from me to Mac and back to me.

  “I'll just talk to you unless you try running or making some kind of weapon, then I can't promise what might happen,” Mac said.

  I turned and started running again in the direction of my apartment. I had no doubt when Mac was done with those men they would all be agreeing to head for the nearest recruiting center to enlist in the hopes of being able to become special forces. Everyone of the twelve men who had been under my command were the best of the best, though under almost anyone else they were considered undesirable because of their independent streak. It was that independence I valued so highly. They all knew I cared about them and because I was willing to let them decide how they would accomplish their tasks had come to accept that in a clutch situation my word was law and I wouldn't brook anything less than the best they had to give.

  When I arrived back at the apartment I felt energized. Rather than trying to go back to sleep I took a shower and changed into some civilian clothes. I really needed to get more clothes, but the only kind I wanted to get I already had, and told Kathy to sell or give away. I hung the few clothes I had that belonged on hangers and looked in the fridge to see just what I had there.

  I really needed to go grocery shopping as well, I didn't even have any milk. What better time to go shopping than when most people were still in bed asleep.

  I locked up the apartment again and headed for the nearest grocery store in hopes of getting what I would need to set up so I wasn't eating strictly takeout. As I made my way through the store I couldn't believe the prices of some of the things. Why should they cost so much? I was going to need help at least the first time in getting my kitchen setup and stocked, a good reason to see Sarah and keep from having to deal with Gordon. I got a few basics hating that they cost what they did, but not having any idea what the prices should be I really didn't have any right to complain.

  When I got back from my little shopping trip and had everything put away I heard Jeff open the door and walk in as though he were the one renting the apartment.

  “You do realize you're a guest here, don't you Jeff?” I asked.

  “I... I guess I should have knocked, huh?” he asked.

  “I'll let it slide this time. Tell me which of our sisters would be the better choice to take grocery shopping?” I asked.

  “Dad actually, but if I were going to take either Kathy or Sarah, I'd take Sarah she's better at finding the bargains. The problem there is Gordon will probably not want to let her go, especially if it means going with you. That or he'll expect you to take the kids too, and trying to shop with them along is a nightmare,” Jeff said.

  “Jeff you just have to know how to deal with people and then you can get them to do almost anything you want,” I said.

  “The only way of getting Gordon to do what you want is force, I doubt even Mac would intimidate him,” Jeff said.

  “That's were you're wrong. Mac intimidates even me sometimes, and I know he intimidated those young men trying to cause trouble this morning. You wouldn't want to tell me what happened after I left, would you Mac?” I asked.

  Mac laughed and I saw Jeff had no idea what we were talking about.

  “They wanted to know if I was really afraid to get in the ring with you. For some reason I don't think they believed you could kick my ass,” Mac said.

  “It is a little hard for me to get my foot that high, but if I'm not mistaken I'm about the only person who has,” I said.

  About eight o'clock I thought it was about time to go see my youngest sister, and see if she felt like going grocery shopping.