Illuminate: Upper YA Paranormal Romance

by Sarah Addison-Fox

  Sweat slid freely down his spine, but he held his tongue, terrified he’d give himself away. Lucius seemed to snap out of his thoughts. With a wave of his hand he ended any further discussion. “Take her. Think of her as my reward to you.”

  Tarquin’s jaw worked as he nodded and moved to step around the intimidating man before him, but Lucius’s hand shot out and he gripped the shoulder not carrying Merrin. “I’ll bring her a measure in a while. Until then you have complete authority over her and in the caves.”

  His grip intensified. His eyes locked on Tarquin’s as though conveying a wordless warning that he would be watching Tarquin’s every move.

  Just when he thought his knees would give out from the torture of waiting for Lucius to see through him, Tartarean turned on his heel and strode off, not towards the caves but into the forest.

  All the nervous energy left Tarquin’s body in a rush as Lucius disappeared. He closed his eyes and managed a breathless thank you as he started walking back towards the caves.

  ***

  Merrin awoke to darkness that seemed to creep into her very being, cold that swirled inside her, strangling what light she seemed to be able to find.

  Her consciousness groped for some strand of hope that light would shine again, but she was too drowsy, too disorientated. It was all she could do to groan and peer at her surroundings.

  Water dripped from somewhere nearby, a constant trickling sound in the near dark. She noted the scents of coal, rotting food and stale sweat as though hundreds of unwashed bodies were congregating in one spot.

  Her eyes still adjusting to the constant dark, Merrin eased herself up from where she lay, her head pounding, her entire body still sluggish.

  It took a moment for her to bring her uncooperative body to a sitting position. Beneath her, she rested on what felt like a slab of cold stone. Though someone had thought to place a sheepskin under her head, her entire body began to shiver uncontrollably.

  With a gasp at the knowledge she was feeling cold for the first time in four years, Merrin rocked back, terror filling her veins. Had the light left her? Had Onom granted her desire to break her oath?

  Did it even work that way? Merrin edged forwards, still near blinded, her usually sharp sightseeing sensing nothing but vague shapes.

  Her hands began to shake, her eyes filling with tears as another shiver ran the length of her. Her thoughts too muddled by fear, awash with despair and horror at her lack of sight, she curled into a ball, hugging her arms over her shins.

  Slight movement across the room alerted her to the presence of someone else; panic surged through her as footsteps crossed the floor. She heard heavy footsteps then a voice that caused her entire body to react. “Merrin?”

  Though she couldn’t see him, her voice was a hiss as she struck out into the dark in the hopes she might hit him. “Y-y-you ran.”

  Her voice wobbled so much it took her a moment to force herself to stop acting like a frightened child. She was Luminary: she was made to shine in the darkness. Aren’t I?

  She pulled her shoulders back and resigned herself she needed a few moments to figure out where she was and what had gone so horribly wrong. Yes, she’d found him, and from the lack of light, he’d likely brought her into the caves she sought.

  “Merrin,” his voice was soft, almost a purr.

  Though she couldn’t see him, she felt him settle in on her uncomfortable bed. “Why did you leave?”

  He exhaled slowly as if it caused him great pain. “To keep you from doing something reckless. And to prove I was sorry. But mostly because I was called here by the light.”

  She sucked in a breath through her teeth, another shiver rippling through her body. She gripped her hands around herself. As she forced the words out before another tremor could overtake her. “Why didn’t you say something?” Why did you leave me?

  His breathing was slow and even, though his voice still came out as a rough whisper. “That’s not important right now.”

  Another shiver wracked her body and with it the desire to seek warmth and comfort in his arms grew. But would he be warm? Or would he be just what Skylar had predicted? Filled with darkness. Cold to the touch. She gingerly reached out a shaking hand and reached for him.

  Surprise caused her to jump when he latched on to her fingers. Warmth spread through her, reaching her very core. How was he warm? Or more importantly, how was she not?

  His fingers slipped into hers, and she was alarmed to find herself shifting closer to him. “Merrin. I never wanted you to find me. Tartarean left me with my memories…”

  He swallowed thickly before carrying on, his thumb stroking her knuckles as he spoke in a hushed whisper. “He left me with them, so I know what will happen if I’m not with you.”

  Another shiver began to wrack her body so violently that her hand broke away from his. He shuffled closer and she didn’t fight him as he drew her into his arms.

  “It’ll get better. And your eyes will adjust soon.”

  Merrin shuddered, and his arms gripped her tighter. “I’m so sorry. This was never supposed to happen.”

  His voice held such pain, she desperately wanted to believe him. Hazy images slowly came to mind. The force of his kiss, the complete lack of ability to move when he’d casually tossed her over his shoulder as though she were a trophy to be claimed. And now they were here alone and in the dark. Merrin blinked rapidly, and was relieved to see her eyesight had improved, just a fraction.

  Where once she’d seen only black, differing shades of grey seemed to permeate her senses. She wanted to speak, but no longer trusted her tongue as her teeth began to chatter.

  Voices came from outside the door causing Tarquin to stiffen as he held her. When loud laughter and the sounds of many footsteps eased away in the grey, his body relaxed a jot.

  He cursed under his breath, his heart thumping too quickly as she clung to him, terrified of what lay outside the grey room she couldn’t see past.

  “Merrin, we have to find a way to get you out of here. If anyone sees you…”

  Once again, he held her tighter as though trying to ward off some unseen threat. Her voice was still an uncontrollable wobble as she spoke. “W-w-what will hap-happen to m-m-me?”

  He released a breath that tickled the top of her head. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

  Merrin squeezed her eyes shut as another shiver took over her body. Tarquin grumbled beside her. “You won’t get warm like this. Let me see what I can find in here. I’m not stepping foot outside this room.”

  He eased away from her, and with the loss of body heat her shivers grew so intense her teeth began to bash painfully together. He stumbled about, alternating between cursing and praying as he searched in the tiny room.

  Her eyes seemed to be adjusting with each wakeful moment, the grey blobs becoming more defined and the black less and less. She could just make out his lean form as he picked through wooden barrels and crates.

  When he returned to her, her body near convulsing as she tried in vain to regulate her body temperature. “Sorry, you’ll have to move.”

  He gently tugged her arm, and when she’d managed to stand, a trembling, shivering mess, he threw sheepskins on what she could now see was a slab of rock carved into the wall of a small cave. His voice was laced with so many emotions, in her addled state she could barely pick hold of one. “Lie down. This should work better.”

  Too frozen to even think about arguing, she obeyed and lay down in the spot she’d awoken. When she was settled down on a more padded bed of sheepskin, he settled in beside her and with a muffled huff of frustration he maneuvered the remaining sheepskin so they were tucked around her body.

  When she was cocooned in the make-shift blankets, he gently moved his arm under her and pulled her back, so her spine was snug against his chest. “It’ll get better soon.”

  Merrin clung to his promise as she stared at the cold, hard face of the cave, her thoughts still too tattered, and her entire bei
ng screaming for warmth, the strangest thought penetrated the agony. This is what it must have felt like for him.

  Chapter 3.

  Fear was close to taking hold of him as Merrin’s body continued shivering so intensely his own body shook. He held her tighter, desperate to bring her a small measure of comfort where none could be found. Not here. Not in the caves. Not in the place where evil lived, breathed and looked to exploit the weak.

  Merrin stood no chance, not if Tartarean did as he said and returned to drug her again, and not while she was so entangled in the dark and cold. He needed to find a way to both warm her and access the light he was desperate to keep hidden.

  His addled mind caught on prickly thoughts that jabbed with pain. Just metres from where they lay, dozens of men and woman—some younger, some older—all waited in varying states of awareness, some running on a day’s memory, some on a full three, but all under the influence of Tartarean’s threats and the vile liquid that washed away the greatest part of their collective morality.

  There was little reasoning here. Little made sense. And it didn’t need to. As long as bellies were filled, sleep was had and the most primal of urges satisfied, no one ever thought to question their purpose here.

  No one ever thought to question why they did the horrific things they did. Until Tarquin had.

  As if recoiling from the memory of the lashes against his skin, Tarquin curled his body into Merrin’s and tried to shut out the memories.

  He’d been right to come here. He’d been right to return. He belonged in the dark, but Merrin, innocent and pure, devoid of corruption, did not.

  How could he get her out of here without anyone else spotting her? By now the scouts would have changed over with the night shift, and Merrin was bound to be news on everyone’s lips.

  He squeezed her so tight she gasped. “D-d-don’t, squeeze s-s-so h-h-hard.”

  With a wince, he released his grip and rested his forehead against her hair. The brilliant red colouring diminished to burnished copper strands that tickled his nose and chin.

  Like everything that was in the caves, her hair, once so vibrant was dimmed. A wave of guilt crashed through him as another horrendous shiver wracked her body. I did this. I drew her back to Lucius.

  He muttered into her hair, whispering faintly in the hopes she wouldn’t hear how pitiful he sounded. I’m so sorry.

  A soft sigh escaped her, and she wriggled her trembling body out of his grasp, he froze, terrified of what she was going to say, terrified to face the sheer weight of her disappointment. She must hate him. Despise him. Loathe his very touch to move away from him when she was in such dire need of warmth.

  But she only turned over, and snuggled closer to him, wrapping her arms around him, and pressing her frigid body even tighter against his.

  Her skin was icy cold as her forehead grazed his chin and she settled in against his chest. He held her so tightly his muscles began to tremble, his heart thumping irregularly against his ribs and against her cheek.

  With every noise that came from outside, his heart raced a little more. His entire body primed and on alert. Lost in his attention to the goings on outside the door, he missed the lessening of her tremors until she spoke, muffled against his chest. “What’s going to happen to me?”

  To even think about her in the hands of the mindless men outside this room almost undid him, but if he was going to keep her safe, he needed to plan. More importantly he needed to dissuade anyone else from coming near Merrin.

  As much as he wanted to keep her locked in here till he figured it out, Tartarean would expect her to train, to be compliant and to pledge allegiance to him; then he’d mark her as one of his. But how could he tell her that? Tell her that she’d come to the one place in Lathrea he’d tried to keep her from?

  How could he tell her she was trapped where darkness covered everything, snuffing out light until it was impossible to dream without permission?

  His breath was stolen from him when she moved back enough so she could look in his eyes. “Tarquin? Why did you leave me?”

  Her voice broke, cracked as though his response could mend everything that was broken. His breath was a ragged whisper or apology, of regret, of fear. “Merrin. There’s only one way I can defeat Lucius, and that’s from inside here.”

  She stared at him, eyes wide and filled with her own fear, then the vaguest spark of light grew, filling him with hope all was not lost. She whispered, her breath tickling his lips, so close was her face to his. “Let me help you fight him.”

  His veins fired with heat that rolled through him. Her words stirred longing he wanted to suppress, longing that had been there since she’d pulled him back from death at Tartarean’s hand. “Together you are stronger,” he murmured.

  Merrin sucked in a breath. “What did you say? Where did you hear that?”

  He frowned, his own breath coming in too rapidly at the closeness and the need building within him. “The wind whispered it to me.”

  Her eyebrows rose then fell as her shivering died down even further. “Tarquin…I…”

  When her cool lips pressed to his, pinpricks of light sparked in his vision. His already fevered mind collapsing on itself as she slid her fingers from underneath the blanket and entwined them in his hair.

  His skin rose at the chill still on her fingers, but he leaned in closer, kissing her deeper, feeling her respond to him.

  Her fingernails gently grazed his scalp and tugged his hair. She broke the kiss with a sob that sent a sharp pain to his chest. “I knew you had reason to leave. I knew it. But the Chief, Skylar—”

  Anger flared through him. “What did Skylar say?”

  She jerked away from him, her forehead knotted, eyes glassy in the dim light. “Don’t be like that. He’s my friend.”

  He nearly snorted at the reprimand until he noticed the blaze of annoyance that had kindled her eyes. “And what am I, Merrin? Am I your friend too? Is that why you came here? To help a friend? Or I am just your charge still?”

  Her forehead crinkled again as an exasperated rush of air escaped. “Stop it. Just stop it.”

  He held her gaze, the intensity of her eyes letting him know the effects of the drug were beginning to fade, which meant that time was growing short.

  He didn’t even try to mask the need in his words. “I don’t want to stop. I don’t ever want to stop. I came here to prove I was worthy of you. I came here to prove I deserved someone like you. Despite what I’ve done, despite the fact that I don’t deserve anything good, I can’t stop the way you make me feel. I can’t stop what you showed me.”

  She was silent, eyes downcast, the only noises their hurried breathing, the faint splosh of water as it ran down the cave walls and the pulse thrumming in his ears. Her mouth opened then shut, lips firmly pressed together as if she couldn’t decide whether to speak or not.

  Instead of speaking, she shifted away from him as though she needed distance, her forehead lined as if his words had confused her.

  He’d almost resigned himself she didn’t share the depth of his emotions when she sat up. She stared at him so long, he grew even more afraid of what she might be thinking.

  But rather than speak, she leaned over him and shifted her weight so her chest rested on top of his. Her eyes roamed his face, lingering on his lips. Her voice came out a croak as though she were holding back tears. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

  He started to apologise, but her mouth found his again, silencing him. He kissed her back, letting her guide the intensity, letting her take complete ownership of what she was doing.

  Before he lost all sense of control, he connected with her, using no manipulation, just bold honesty. I know you don’t believe me, but I love you. Bond with me, Merrin, promise to be mine forever.

  Her lips left his, surprise etched on her flushed face. Her voice tickled his ear as she whispered. “You can’t earn what I want to give you. I vow, Tarquin. I vow to love you until the end of time.”

/>   Her eyes burned so bright the entire room illuminated. Everything fell into place, everything the light had shown him. The truth in the whispers on the wind. The truth he’d tried to rush her into seeing, tried to rush her before she was ready to freely give herself.

  The battle that was coming could only be won if they were bonded together by the holder of her light and his, Onom.

  A dull buzz began to flow through him. The buzz grew louder until it seemed to reverberate throughout his body. Merrin’s eyes went wide as she inhaled sharply. “Do you feel that?”

  Too overcome by the sound and a pulsing sensation that seemed to be flowing over him, he couldn’t speak.

  Warmth descended on him, lights darted in front of his eyes much the way they had done in the temple where Merrin had illuminated him. The lights seem to shimmer before they darted away, and as if in agreement they began circling Merrin.

  She followed them for a moment, a dazzled expression on her face, her own eyes sparking in recognition as the lights descended on her hand and slowly began to wind around the second finger on her left hand.

  A tingling sensation on his own skin made him look away. The pinpricks of light encircled his hand and wound tighter and tighter until he too wore a band of light around his finger.

  The lights continued spinning until his hand and Merrin’s were laced together, bound by tiny stands of golden light signifying the bonding was complete.

  As if to prove there was now no shame in doing so, Merrin placed her lips to his once more. With each whispered promise, with each unspoken protestation of love and commitment, her kisses became more insistent. He gripped her waist and gently pulled her body over his, so she was covering the length of him.

  His hands travelled over her clothing as he kissed her, every part of his being filled with the desire to possess her. For her to possess him, to bond, to commit for whatever life they had left, for all eternity and beyond.

  As though her arms could no longer support her, she collapsed onto him, and their limbs tangled together as they sought each other in the dark. His hands couldn’t still as he explored the slope of her curves and the softness of her body as his own pressed harder into the cold hard stone beneath them.