Unexpected Attention

by Aleisha Maree

  “No, I'm not.” Snatching my hand back his touch fucks with my reason.

  “Yes, you are Miley,” he leans in, his smoky breath floats over my skin.

  “No, I’m afraid of what you could do to me.”

  “So, what, you lock yourself away like this and fucking deny us both?”

  “No Brax, I don't feel and if I don't feel then it doesn't hurt.”

  “That's fucking bullshit Miley, here feel this.”

  I unexpectedly feel the gentle whisper of a kiss touch my lips. My nails bite into the wooden deck under me. The kiss was so soft it was like a feather had been run over my lips and as suddenly as it came it was gone. Of its own accord my tongue darts out wetting where Brax’s lips had just been. My eyes jerk open, his were staring into me, sucking all reason from me and licking at the edges of my soul. His head bends forward towards mine again, my eyes widen as I see the passion to make me feel flick over his irises. My eyes fall closed as his lips seek out mine again and this time a lighting quick shock of electricity sends chills up and down my spine, as Brax deepens the kiss and I shamelessly groan out in passion. Relaxing slightly, my nails release from the deck and gradually creep up his body. His rough hands cupped firmly around my face, loaded with so much passion holding me their prisoner to his touch.

  Any kiss I had prior to this one to him was obliterated the moment his lips fell onto mine. I melt into his touch, into his embrace. His fingers biting into the soft warm flesh of my neck while the others pinch hard into the bone of my hip, holding me anchoring me to him. My fingers seek out his hair, sinking into the lush black locks soft against my skin.

  His kiss becomes hungered, frenzied, taking me in a whirlwind of emotion and feeling. His lips seeking mine in a rough dance of ownership, dominance and control, he needs to control me and this is the only way he knows how.

  Tears fall.

  I was giving up.

  “Don't,” he murmured into the kiss, eating at the sobs breaking free from the cage inside my chest. “It fucking shreds me when you cry.”

  “It’s too much.”

  His arms fall from my body and I shiver before they wrap back around me tightly, holding me into his strong body. His heart beating through the thin cotton of his shirt against mine.

  “I don't deserve you. But I will fight you for you Miley.”

  When he touches me this way, when he kisses the top of my head like he just did on the end of a statement that makes me think-maybe I am my own worst enemy. When he looks at me this way, I don't feel like I'm breaking into more pieces. I feel like he's putting me back together, the way he needs me to be.

  “I've never had my heart broken Miley. But I feel it coming because only you can affect me this way. Only you could break me into the millions of pieces that mirror your own shattered soul.”

  One side of me— that he opened up, wants to fuck the soul out of him right now right here. Then there is the part of me that is so wounded and so exhausted that it couldn't possibly endure any more emotional torture from him. From them both husband and taboo lover.

  “I thought I'd already gone down about as deep as a soul could go down into the black abyss called hell but fuck me I was wrong, there's more, you take me further down each time you touch me.”

  I steal a glance up at him through my wetted lashes. His eyes shine in the moonlight, laced with confusion like he didn't realize or couldn't comprehend just how much one could feel and how much pain and loneliness there was living behind my eyes.

  “I want you close but then I push you away with this shit because if you get too close then you'll see my demons that live inside.” My heart thumps hard inside the walls of my chest knowing that he’s all I fucking want but can’t seem to hold, he will run once my demons come out.

  My nails run up his chest stopping at his throat as I wrap my fingers around it, he sucks in a deep breath, I feel his cock hardened against me.

  His mouth opens and his answer shakes me.

  “Get closer Miley, I’ll climb inside you because there is a hell inside of me, it’s where your demons can hide.”

  I want to believe him. I want to believe that I can trust another man again. But shit I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do it all over again.

  It's like he senses the inner struggle within me, his thumb and forefinger grip my chin lifting my head up to meet his gaze.

  “I won't hurt you. You are safe with me.”

  “So together we burn babe?” I ask him needing more, begging for his words to be the truth and not lies. For him to finally let me believe.

  “Something like that.” He breathes into me as he takes my mouth in a kiss that is so full of heat, I feel like we are already burning.

  “I want to hear you breathless, screaming my name. I will fuck you till you don't know where my cock begins or fucking ends baby.”

  Melting into him I come undone in that spilt second, I allow the non-rational part of my mind to take over and let him just fuck me with his words, his tongue, and his eyes. The whole fucking lot mate because I need this release as much as he does. I need his touch, his skin, his taste and his cock inside me.

  We undress quickly, peeling off his t-shirt first as his hand slides down my shoulders slipping the straps of my tank top down, it falls easily down my body. His fingers hook into the waist band of my PJ shorts, the cotton falling down my legs. I undo his jeans and pull them hastily down his solid thighs as his cock hangs semi hard and fucking insanely delicious. His strong hands lower me back down onto the deck, my bare skin touching the rough wood.

  Quickly our lips find each other, the kiss feverish and hungry needing more than what our tongues could give. It wasn’t long before I roll over on top of him and I began my quest for control and dominance. We jostle a bit until he sinks inside of me as I lower my needy body over him. We just sit there like that for a while, mouths together, chest to chest, not moving, except for our breath. The heat firing between us as the emotions and pent up need boil over. I stop kissing him, my pussy throbbing from him and slightly wet, I spit in my hand, then reached down in between us, gliding my hand over his thickness and massaging it into me also, his look becomes serious for a spilt second. I regret being so forward but then he smiles and runs his tongue over his bottom lip. He nods at me, his eyes full of longing and erotic glare, I begin to move against him.

  His fingers grip hard into my hips pulling me deeper into him. He takes me then in his arms, the quick release of his fingers from my hips moving up my spine, he flicks me over pushing me onto my back and him on top of me hovering. His hair falling slightly over his eyes, shielding them from my stare. My breathing races as my nails dig into his chest. I brush back the hair from his eyes needing to watch him as he comes undone inside of me, grinding his hips hard forward and rearing back. He makes me forget everything, every bad word spoken, every sad look and broken heart, he makes me feel alive as he rolls in and out of me. His eyes burning into mine and rolling back as he lets go, leaving all the what ifs and promises inside me.

  Later, after it is over, we both lay on my deck the stars dancing above us as he smokes. It’s silent, but this time the quiet feels uneasy, weighted with the words from before and I send a small prayer up to the heavens that we can come back from that and be what each other needs. I go to put my arm around him but he shrugs me off. He flicks his smoke and stands pulling his body back into his clothes. I sit up pulling my knees into my chest and watched him silently.

  He picks up his phone staring at the screen, his lips kicked up and my heart sinks.

  “I gotta go, night babe.”

  He breathes out as he leans closer running his finger down my cheek stopping on my lips.

  “Sorry aye.” Is the last thing he says before walking out into the black night as quietly as he arrived.

  It’s 2am and I just realized that it could all be over.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Some lies are made to be told and

  Promises are made
to be broken.

  Honesty only gets you so far and the power of fake love can't win this time as the desire isn't there.

  I’m paralyzed, I feel like I have no oxygen going through my body and I have no feelings. They have gone, I feel nothing. I can't find the real me, I'm lost, so lost! He woke me up only to take me from me then let me go. He said fall, I fell, and he didn't catch me but he stepped back when it got too hard, he stepped back.

  Garry is home, it's been a nightmare week from the moment I woke up naked and cold on my deck, the first shards of a new day's sun splintering over my body. I showered and tried to wash him from me. From my memory. It didn't work though because every inch of my body was laced with him, shame, guilt, love, he was in my essence and I was fucked.

  Garry was his moody self.

  He came home so much more wired than normal.

  Watching the kids swim in the pool I felt his hands slide over my shoulders, his skin felt foreign on mine.

  His fingers tightened and I sucked in air through my teeth knowing what was coming. Rolling my shoulders, I tried to break his grip on me. It just tightened and my skin crawled as a sweat broke out over me.

  “The kids love the water.” Pulling myself forward to grab my vodka off the table his grip lessened. He didn't say anything about the kids he just barked out. “Boys are coming over, get some steaks ready for the BBQ.”

  My heart sank and my mind raced.

  “Boys?” I question taking a long gulp of the vodka.

  “Yep, Tim and Brax. Steak and garlic bread with that fucking pasta salad you make.” His voice was sharp, my body shook within it a hidden horror.

  “I’m not your fucking slave Garry.” I pushed out through gritted teeth, I had plans for tonight and it didn't evolve being stuck here with him or Brax for that matter.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” he snapped, and I instantly fell back into myself.

  His fingers shot out wrapping like a vice around my neck.

  “You will shut your fucking mouth and you will do as you’re fucking told Miley.” His grip tight, causing my eyes to water, pain searing down my spine.

  “Let go off me.” I bit out through clenched teeth, my eyes never leaving the kids swimming, please don't look over here I begged them silently.

  “Get the fuck in the kitchen.” He demanded me. I was too scared to move let alone breathe, his lips found my ear as his grip went from tight to vice like.

  “The kids, I am watching them swim.” I choke out

  “I told you to move and you will move.” He spits into my ear before licking up my neck and the side of my face. “Like a good little girl do as you’re told, and I'll let you suck my cock later.” I cringe at the words rolling from his tongue and the weight of what he had said. Pushing my hands up on the arm of the chair, my legs shook as I walk past him, his fingers grab at my wrists, “Oh and Miley fucking smile too. You dirty little bitch.”

  What the fuck makes him say that to me? Why is he being this way? Tears roll down my cheeks as I walk into the kitchen pulling things from the fridge. I slump down the cupboard door and cry into a tea towel, the sound of my sobs echoing out inside my ears.

  It wasn't long before his feet stood in front of me, his hands sharp in my hair pulling me up to my feet. Shock jumping from my eyes as I see the sick look on his face, the evil smirk as he slams me forward, my hands splaying out over the cool granite counter top.

  “Garry please.” I beg.

  “You wanna cry like a bitch then I’ll fuck you like a whore.” He spat pulling my head tightly back with an angry fist full of my hair. My neck is ripped hard backwards, my eyes wet with tears meets his fuming black stare, a look I have never seen before. This was a Garry I had never seen, and it scared the death out of me, my heart was pounding. I can usually control his abuse and take the pain of his words and the beatings but this time it's different, it's venomous.

  “What happened to you?” I pleaded needing answers. “What did I possibly do this time? You haven't even been home. Garry let go your hurting me.” My tone low breaking around his painful touch as his palm slams into the small of my back pushing me harshly into the sharp corner of the bench. Sucking in deep as pain sears like a hot poker grazing over my skin.

  “Whores, women, you all are fucking cunts.” The venom in his tone had me fearing his touch more than I normally did.

  His free hand hikes up my skirt and rips my panties clean from me, the sting jumps out over my body as the lace falls to the floor discarded like my dignity.

  A hard slap causes me to yelp out scared, I'm so empty inside I don't want to live like this but I'm too scared to die. I wish I could erase my memories. This isn't an image I want, my own husband abusing me this way. It’s so fucked up.

  His cock thrusts hard into me, causing me to whimper out in pain. A sick animal sound gargles up through his body as he grunts while he pulls out and slaps me again ripping my head back, clumps of my hair ripping from my scalp. Thrusting with anew found hatred into me, I feel my walls rip around him, at the force tearing the soft skin that is aching with his forceful thrusts. His nails bite into my skin leaving bruises. I'm sure the pain was something I had never felt before and I pleaded to a God— any God to never feel again. My mind tries to escape the reality of what is going on around me, tears cloud my eyes as I watch the kids swim while their father rapes me in the kitchen.

  ***

  Pouring a strong drink, I watch as Garry cooks the steaks I had prepared on the BBQ. Brax’s eyes don’t leave mine, I had tried to conceal the horror in my eyes from this afternoons attack, to cover the marks left from his fingers on my neck, the purple welts that dot my breasts and hips and the sharp indents in my stomach from the counter's hard granite edge.

  He sees it though, sees right through me, sees that I am in pain and I can’t handle his weighted stare any longer. I stand from the outside area and go into the family room, grabbing a blanket and my book. I pour myself a fresh drink, a triple shot vodka, curl up on the couch and settle in to read Broken Bitch by Susan Horsnell. This book is life. It's all you need to feel and get lost.

  It isn’t long before I can smell him, before I even look up I know he’s there, he is dressed in jean shorts and a plain black tee. He looks so beautiful, I haven’t seen or spoken to him since he left me naked and alone in the dark after fucking me on my deck.

  “Hey.” Was all he said as my eyes met his. “You okay Miley?” he asks stepping a little closer, I close my book placing it on my knees.

  “Fine.” Was all I said looking past him and out the bi-folding glass doors to the fire pit and BBQ area. I see Garry cooking still, I let out the long breath that I was holding, my eyes skim up his body quickly.

  Meeting his gaze his eyes darken and my body hums with the fury I see burning within their searing heat.

  “Fine! Like fuck you are Miley.”

  He approaches the edge of the couch his beer in hand, I watch the condensation run down the bottle, the tiny beads of water falling to the plush carpet below.

  “Well, I am, so you can now leave.” Picking up my drink I close my eyes taking a long pull, the ice tumbling into my mouth, savoring the taste.

  “I miss looking into your beautiful eyes, I miss the fucking smell of your skin Miley. Your smile, the whole nine yards I miss it all. I said fuck feelings I didn't need them but the other night I actually really fell in love with you.”

  Scoffing at him as my eyes shoot open.

  “Love me, really?” Raising my eyebrow at him.

  “Well, I actually hate that I love you! I hate that you make me need you, that I feel used every fucking time you’re near but then crave your fucking kiss and starve for your touch.” My long black lashes fall to my cheeks as I close my eyes. Hurting for a man who can’t see just how much I need him. Just how much I wish he would grow up.

  I watch as he takes a pull from the Heineken in his hand, his eyes burn with a smile of ‘ha, knew it’ and I hate that even mo
re.

  “Oh, but mate you love me but keep it on the down low where no one sees but us

  so your friends won't find out, so the hoes won't know that you have ya dick up in someone else who you claim you love but only fuck when it's convenient for you. If you fucking actually wanted me you would just say so and make me yours.”

  He blinks shutting his eyes for a rather long time and I stare at him thinking any minute that he would just disappear, and I’d be forever stuck here with pieces of my heart threaded in his and living with a guy who abuses me.

  “You know it doesn't matter if it's been an hour, a day, a week or two. I fucking know that what I feel is true and that you consume all that I fucking am Miley and I hate that I fucking love you too because I can't just be with you.”

  “Well, you have both broken me, one in the best way possible and the other in the most hurtful way possible and made me realize that it’s okay for me not to fit.”

  “Those are his marks on your skin, aren't they Miley?”

  Draining the last of my vodka I push the blanket from me, step right into his space. He sucks in a sharp breath through clenched teeth, his knuckles whiten around his bottle as I reply.

  “So, what if they are, he's my husband and obviously he can do whatever the fuck he wants. You only love me when you’re drunk, you can’t seem to when your sober. I dance inside your brain but really only when you’ve been drinking and the hoes have all gone home. So why do you care?”

  I walk from him and into the kitchen pouring myself a stronger drink. If I am going to get through tonight, I will need to wipe myself out.

  His hands grab me around the waist as I place the bottle of Sprite back in the fridge. The door shielding us from outside and the husband whom hours ago abused me right in this very kitchen.

  The intimacy of his touch and almost kiss to the back of my neck has my knees buckling but I can’t allow him to play games.

  “I wanna make up for all the years that I should have been kissing you and I wanna take that bastard’s last breath for hurting you Miley.”