Bright Ideas: A Record of Invention and Misinvention

by Herbert Strang

  *II*

  Next day, immediately after breakfast, Eves went off on his own devices,and did not see Templeton again until supper-time.

  "You look rather down in the mouth. Bob," he said. "Anything wrong?"

  "I'm a bit worried," Templeton replied. "I don't think I'm naturallysuspicious----"

  "Rather not! You're as innocent as a babe. Any old diddler could suckyou in. But what's happened?"

  "This afternoon I had to go out for an hour or so to try a car. Wilkinswas away, so I left the shop closed. While I was running the car I hadan idea for my specification and when I got back I took it out of mycoat to alter it. And I found this."

  He handed Eves the paper.

  "Well? It's the same old thing--same old rigmarole, isn't it?"

  "That smudge of ink!"

  "Your elbow--but, of course, it's all in pencil. You don't mean--

  "As you say, it's all in pencil. It hasn't been near ink, so far as Iknow. At any rate, that smudge wasn't there this morning."

  Eves whistled.

  "Wilkins knew about your specification, of course; everybody knowseverything in this Arcadia. My prophetic soul! He's been copying yourdraft, Bob, and being an untidy penman, left his mark behind. He musthave been uncommon slippy to copy it all in an hour, though, with allthese erasures and interlinings. Any one else got a key of the shop?"

  "No one, so far as I know."

  "Noakes? You remember when we caught him at the drawer? My hat! Theydon't stick at trifles. This is felony, or I'm a Dutchman. Wilkins, orNoakes, or both of them, want to get in first at the Patent Office;they've stolen your specification."

  "That's a serious charge. We've no proof."

  "My dear chap, it's as plain as a pikestaff. But look here, what can bedone? Look at the worst; say they have copied your stuff, what then?"

  "If they file their application at the Patent Office it will be no endof a bother and expense to prove it's mine."

  "I'd swear that before any beak in the country. But let's keep to thepoint. They couldn't get to the Patent Office to-night?"

  "No; it closes at five; opens at ten in the morning."

  "What time's the last train up?"

  "It left twenty minutes ago," said Templeton, after a glance at hiswatch.

  "And in the morning?"

  "The first train reaches London something after eleven."

  Eves mused for a few seconds, drumming on the table.

  "I tell you what," he said at length. "You set to work and make a faircopy of this stuff, and we'll go up by the first train to-morrow and seeif--Hallo! here's a car. Rather late for a visit."

  The panting of an automobile engine was distinctly audible. There was arap on the outer door. Mrs. Pouncey shuffled along the passage; voiceswere heard; then the landlady entered.

  "A gentleman to see you, sir; O'Reilly by name."

  "Our excitable Irishman," said Eves.

  "Ask him in, Mrs. Pouncey, please," said Templeton.

  O'Reilly came in like a tornado, waving his arms and wearing hiscapacious smile.

  "Sure, I'm delighted to see the two of you, and me not knowing the way,"he said as he shook hands. "The Government, or the colonel anyway, hastaken my tender for the camp waste, and 'tis to you I owe it, and I'llbeg you to drink to the colonel, or anyway the Government; I have thechampagne in my pocket ready."

  He produced a bottle from the deep pocket of his waterproof coat.

  "Jolly good of you, Mr. O'Reilly," said Eves. "You've come in the nickof time. My friend Templeton wants something to cheer him up."

  "Do you say so? What might be the trouble, now?"

  "Expound, Bob; your invention, I mean. I should only make a mess of it."

  "It was just a notion for driving a car in the opposite direction towhat it has been going, the driver swinging round on his seat andautomatically bringing into action steering-gear affecting the backwheels instead of the front, or vice versa."

  "Saves turning in a narrow lane, you see," added Eves.

  "Bedad, that would be a blessing to me this dark night," said O'Reilly."But what is the trouble? Funds run out? Would you show me the plans,I'd find the capital--provided they'll work out, of course."

  "Splendid!" cried Eves. "Here's the draft specification--but there'sthe rub; that smudge of ink. Look here, Bob, just set to work and copyyour diagrams while I tell Mr. O'Reilly all about it, and he opens thefizz. We've no wine-glasses, only tumblers, but no one will mind that."

  O'Reilly's face grew grave as he listened to the story told by Eves.

  "That's bad," he said. "I stopped at the station a while ago to get aLondon evening paper, and I saw that mayor of yours, Noakes, step intothe London train. There was another fellow with him, seeing him off."

  "What sort of man?" asked Eves.

  "A thick ruffian of a fellow in a long coat and a motor cap. I can'ttell you which of them I dislike the most, by the faces of 'em, Imean--him or Noakes."

  "That was Wilkins. There's no doubt I was right, Bob; Noakes has slunkoff to London to get in first; and that was the last train!"

  "Drink, my boys," said O'Reilly, who had meanwhile opened his bottle."Health to ourselves, and confusion to Noakes. We'll get the top-sideof him yet. There's one way to do it. 'Tis nine o'clock, and we are ahundred and sixty miles from London--that and a bit over. I'll driveyou up in my car."

  "Magnificent," cried Eves. "How long will your diagrams take, Bob?"

  "Under an hour; but there's the specification to copy out."

  "I'll do that. Hand over. We'll be ready in an hour, Mr. O'Reilly."

  "Then I'll run back to the town and fill up my tank and see to my tyresand lamps," said O'Reilly. "Be you ready when I call for you, and withluck and no punctures we'll be in London by six o'clock."

  He gulped a glass of champagne and hurried from the room.

  The two lads went on steadily with their tasks. Templeton was finishedfirst, and going to his desk scrawled a hasty note, which he placed inan envelope, and was addressing when Eves sprang up.

  "That's done," he said, flinging down his pen. "What are you writing toWilkins for?"

  "Just to tell him I shan't be at the shop till Thursday."

  "I wouldn't tell the brute anything."

  "Well, you see, there's nothing proved yet, and----"

  "And Noakes, I suppose, has gone up to town to leave his card on theKing! Bob, you're an ass. But drink up your fizz; it's pretty flat. Ihear the car. It'll be a pretty cold ride; rather sport, though."

  "I hope we shan't have a spill. O'Reilly's a bit wild, you know. Iwish we hadn't drunk that champagne."

  "Oh, you're hopeless. Get on your coat, and don't worry. It'll be asplendid rag."

  Ten minutes sufficed for their donning their thickest outer garments andsoothing the agitation into which the announcement of their journeythrew Mrs. Pouncey. Then they started.

  It is to be feared that Eves's expectation of a "splendid rag" wassomewhat disappointed. There was a certain excitement in the firsthour's run over the quiet country roads, when the car, behind itsglaring headlights, seemed to be continually dashing itself against awall of impenetrable blackness. But it soon became monotonous. The airwas cold and damp, and in spite of their thick clothes and thewindscreen the two passengers soon became unpleasantly chilled.O'Reilly, a business man as well as an Irishman, had a proper respectfor his car, and drove carefully through the towns. His enthusiasm forthe Government was considerably damped when first at Bournemouth andthen at Southampton he found all the hotels closed, and failed to obtainanything in the way of liquid refreshment stronger than spade coffee.These were the moments when Templeton felt most comfortable, and heconfided to Eves his belief that after all they would arrive safely attheir journey's end. By the time they reached Winchester the feet ofboth were tingling with cold; at Guildford even Eves had become morose;and it was not until they narrowly escap
ed a collision with an Armylorry as they swung round to cross Vauxhall Bridge that Eves felt theonly thrill their journey provided.

  It was nearly half-past six when O'Reilly drew up at the door of hisrooms in a quiet Westminster street.

  "You'll be cold, sure," he said. "I'll let you in and show you thebath-room; there'll be hot water. I'll garage the car, and by the timeyou're dry I'll be back. I don't dare wake my housekeeper. The lasttrump wouldn't get her out of bed before half-past seven. But her heartis never cold, and at half-past eight she'll give us a breakfast fit forthe three kings of Carrickmagree. Not but what we'll forage outsomething before then."

  Bathed, warmed, and fed, the three boarded a motor-bus soon after nineo'clock, and were set down at the end of Chancery Lane. As they walkedup the street Eves suddenly pulled them into a shop doorway.

  "There's old Noakes about ten yards ahead," he said. "The Patent Officedoesn't open till ten, I think you said, Bob?"

  "That's so."

  "Then he's about forty minutes to wait. Surely he won't hang about thedoor. Let us follow him carefully."

  They had taken only a few steps when they saw Noakes, swinging a fatumbrella, enter a typewriting agency.

  "He's going to have your specification copied," said Eves.

  "Sure, we'll be safe till ten," said O'Reilly with a chuckle. "Thegirls will keep the likes of him waiting. Now do you come with me to apatent agent, one of my friends. He'll put us up to the way of gettingover Noakes."

  The agent's office was but a few yards up the street. The agent himselfhad not yet arrived; his typist-secretary explained that he was notexpected until ten, and might be later.

  "Well, then, you'll be after doing us a kindness. My friend here has aspecification which Mr. Jones is going to file for me, and he'll need itcopied in duplicate at once. Indeed, he'll be mighty pleased to find itready for him; he's been longing to get his hand on it these many weeks,and you will not disappoint him, will you now?"

  "I won't disappoint you, Mr. O'Reilly," said the girl, with a smile.

  She sat down at her machine, rattled away on the keys, and in twentyminutes handed to O'Reilly two clean copies of the specification. Heremployer arrived on the stroke of ten. A few words from O'Reillyapprised him of the urgency of the matter, and he at once accompaniedthe three to the Patent Office and filed the formal application.

  They left the office in couples, O'Reilly going ahead with his friend.The other two noticed that O'Reilly edged away to one side quickly,leaving a gap through which came hurriedly a shambling figure in awideawake and a long brown ulster, in one hand a large envelope, in theother his huge umbrella.

  "Our worthy mayor," whispered Eves, giving Templeton a nudge.

  Apparently Noakes had not recognised O'Reilly, but his eyes widened andhis chin dropped as he came face to face with Eves and Templeton. Theshock of amazement caused him to halt with a jerk, bringing him intosharp collision with an errand boy hurrying along behind him, a basketof fish upon his arm.

  "Here, old 'un, mind my toes," said the lad, not ill-temperedly, at thesame time sticking out his elbow to ward off Noakes's obstructing bulk.His action was as a spark to powder. With the impulse of an angry,ill-conditioned man to vent his wrath on the nearest object, Noakesswung round and brought his umbrella heavily down upon the lad'sshoulders.

  "I'll learn you!" he cried, truculently.

  The response was unexpected. Snatching up a prime cod by the tail, thelad dashed its head full in Noakes's face. Noakes winced at the cold,slimy contact, staggered, then lurched forward, raising his umbrellaonce more to strike. The lad was too quick for him. Dropping hisbasket, he wrenched the umbrella away, flung it into the gutter, and,squaring his shoulders, commenced that curious piston-like movement ofthe two arms which is the street boy's preliminary to a sparring bout.Suddenly his right fist shot out, and planted a blow in the man'smidriff. A crowd quickly assembled.

  "THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE."]

  "I say, d'you know that the gentleman you are assaulting is the Mayor ofPudlington?" said Eves, stepping up to the errand boy.

  "Don't care who he is. He ain't going to hit me for nothing, not ifhe's the Lord Mayor."

  But the sight of a burly policeman approaching from the corner of thestreet brought discretion. He picked up his basket and ran off, turningto give Noakes a parting salute with his thumb to his nose.