Appreciated (Club Indigo Book 3)

by Karen Nappa

Kate smiled. "Sit with her and let me clean this up," she said as she started to spray the cross with disinfectant.

  Jim nodded and settled into the big chair with Paula in his lap. She might be as cool and reserved as Galadriel, but once she surrendered, she was the most responsive submissive he'd ever held.

  Chapter 11

  Paula was running late in more ways than one. She had been held up at work booking a suspect in a burglary case and she needed to pick up groceries for the dinner she was supposed to be cooking at Jim's. She'd skipped her regular shopping day thinking she could get by with what she had in her fridge. She was fully expecting to get punished for at least one of those infractions. A cold rain was falling and the weather forecast had given it a fifty percent chance of changing to freezing rain, sleet, snow, or all three. As irritating as the rain was, she hoped that was all the city would have to deal with that night. She postponed calling Jim. She hoped to blame her delay completely on the booking and not the groceries.

  QuikTrip should have everything she needed. Unfortunately, the closest one on the route to Jim's condo was not in the greatest neighborhood and Jim would expect her to go around the entire area. She wasn't bothered by the location and felt capable of defending herself in any situation.

  As she drove through the rain, she considered her position. Should she go ahead and call Jim now and confess all? She really didn't want to be punished. The groceries were a simple oversight and booking the suspect was work. She would bluff her way through it and hope for the best. Surely, it wasn't that big a deal.

  She pulled into the QuikTrip and was glad for the overhang that would protect her from the worst of the rain once she got under it. She gathered her coat to get out of the car when she noticed two young men pulling stocking caps over their heads as they approached the door.

  She couldn't see where the suspicious looking men had come from. If she was lucky, the store's security camera would have it. She debated calling for backup but decided that would take too long. She was perfectly capable of taking down the two inside. Without further thought, she made sure her Glock 22 was loaded and that she had two sets of handcuffs in her pocket. She moved through the rain to the shelter of the store. Three more steps brought her to the door. Everything looked normal inside, but she couldn't see the counter from where she stood. She held her gun in her coat pocket as she entered.

  The bell on the door sounded as she went in. She worked to stay calm even as she felt her adrenalin kicking in. She headed straight for the refrigerated section, using her peripheral vision to note one of the perps at the counter with a weapon pointed at the young female cashier. She wasn't afraid of him, but she knew she had to locate the other one before he could jump her. She ducked into an aisle.

  "Who came in?" the perp at the counter called. "Get over here where I can see you." As he spoke, she saw the second man at the other end of her aisle raising his shaking gun toward her. The way he held the sidearm told Paula he had no experience with it.

  From her crouch, Paula raised her weapon. "Police. Put your weapon down." When he was faced with a gun aimed at him, the young man dropped his own. "Get on the ground. Face on the floor, hands behind your head." She moved quickly to get his gun and cuff him and then turned in the direction of the counter. "I've got your partner. I suggest you lay down your weapon, too." She couldn't see him yet, but she hadn't heard any sound of movement. She moved in the direction of the front of the store. As she came to the end of the aisle, she risked a glance around the edge. The partner was pointing his gun not at her, but at the floor, apparently undecided about his course of action. "Put down your weapon and get on the ground, now," she said. Paula was thrilled when the perpetrator did as ordered. "Kick the gun toward me and get on your knees." As he obeyed, she turned to the cashier and said, "Call 911." She cuffed the perp and then moved the two together so she didn't have to split her focus. She removed their caps only to discover that her two perpetrators looked to be no more than fifteen. What had prompted them to try something so foolish? They didn't look any older than Josh.

  The cashier came back and said, "The police are on their way."

  "Good job. What's your name?"

  "Candace. Candace Winters."

  "Hi, Candace. I'm Paula. Do the security cameras work?"

  "Yes, ma'am. At least I think so."

  "Call your manager and get him or her down here. We're going to want a close look at the video." They both turned toward the door as they heard multiple sirens approaching. A few minutes later, two uniformed police entered, weapons drawn.

  "Det. Sgt. Stone. Here's my badge. These two jokers tried to rob the place."

  A plainclothes officer entered and the first uniform called, "All clear, sir." Paula looked up, pleased to see her partner, Det. Bill Christopher, had gotten the call. "Bill, I thought you were off tonight?"

  "No, I traded with Shepherd for on call. I've got a date tomorrow night. What do we have here?"

  "I hope it's the break we've been needing on the convenience store robberies. We'll see what these two have to say when we get them back to the station. The manager is on his way and the cashier let him know we need the video from the security cameras, especially the one outside. I didn't see where the kids came from."

  Paula parked her car and walked up to Jim's condo. It was now almost 11:00 pm and she was afraid of what his reaction would be, but what could she have done? It was work.

  "Paula, where have you been? I've been worried sick. Why didn't you call or answer your phone?" He looked relieved and she hurried to press a kiss to his unresponsive lips.

  She pulled her phone out of her pocket, only then realizing that she'd had it off since she went into the QuikTrip. Fifteen texts and ten missed calls. Oops. "Well, I got hung up at work booking a suspect and then when I was on the way here, there was more work and I forgot about the phone." Surely, he would allow her to explain, wouldn't he? "I'm really sorry I'm late, Sir." Paula told him what had happened. To her bewilderment, his face grew more and more stern as she related the events of the evening.

  When she finished, she was confused and didn't know what to expect. She'd done a good job, hadn't she? Why was he so mad? Yes, sure she was late, but she had a damn good reason. She'd prevented an armed robbery.

  "Strip and kneel." Jim stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked as cold, hard, and immovable as a marble statue as she complied to his order. "I'm not pleased with you and the decisions you made today, Paula." If his posture or tone of voice wasn't enough, the use of her given name instead of 'Melda' told her he was upset with her. Jim ticked off her infractions on his fingers. "One: knowing you're going to be late and not calling; two: ignoring your phone for hours; three: not calling for backup; four: attacking not one but two armed men; five: not wearing your vest when going into an armed situation—and all because you didn't do the shopping when you were supposed to." He held up his hand with outstretched fingers. "This is serious, Paula, and I can't and won't let you off easily. You've earned five strokes with my belt on your bare bottom."

  Paula looked up at him in horror. He'd never used a belt on her before. "B-but, Sir—"

  He halted her words with a stern shake of his head. "Are you my submissive?"

  "Yes, Sir."

  "Did you do the shopping when you were scheduled to?"

  Her head dipped lower. "No, Sir."

  "Were you late tonight?"

  "I was, but I—" Again, she was silenced by a disapproving stare and a shake of the head. She sighed. "Yes, Sir."

  "Were you supposed to call or text me if something happened?"

  "Yes, b—" She didn't need to see him shake his head. He was right, but the circumstances had forced her to. "Yes, Sir." Why am I crying?

  "Go to the bedroom and take my old leather belt from the back of the closet. Place the belt on the pillow and bend over the bed. I'll follow you in a minute or two."

  Paula nodded and rose. She made the walk on wooden legs then
found the belt and placed it as instructed. Bending over the bed was harder than confronting the perps earlier.

  The waiting felt like hours, but finally, she heard Jim approach. Paula stifled the urge to lift her head. She could hear him pick up the belt, the buckle jingling.

  He said, "Neither of us is going to enjoy this, but it's necessary. You need to know that the rules are there for a reason and I'll enforce them. I need to know that you'll respect them, and me, by following them. After this punishment, your slate is clean, but if you can't tolerate this, you can use your safeword and we'll find an alternative punishment. Is that clear, Paula?"

  She stiffened with hearing her name again. "Y-yes, Sir," she said with an unsteady voice.

  "You're going to count and thank me after every stroke," he ordered.

  "Yes, Sir."

  She hadn't finished her answer as a loud whack reverberated through the room. The sting came a moment later and she let out a stuttered, "O-one, t-thank you, S-sir."

  Whack ! "T-two, thank you, Sir."

  Whack ! Fuck, against the backs of the legs. Ow, ow, ow.

  Silence.

  "Three, thank you, Sir," she sobbed.

  Whack! Whack! "F-four, Thank you, Sir. F-five, t-thank you, Sir."

  She sagged on the bed as she felt the mattress dip under his weight.

  He stroked her back and shoulders as she cried into the comforter, murmuring words she couldn't understand over her own sobs. Slowly, she calmed and lifted her head up. Jim smiled at her and stroked her cheek. "Stay here and let me clean you up."

  He walked out to return with a washcloth, a towel, and a jar. He cleaned her face first, but when she tried to get up, he pressed her upper body against the bed. "Stay still; I want to take care of the marks." He held up the jar. "This is arnica ointment to help prevent bruises."

  He unscrewed the lid and applied the cream on every stripe he'd put on her backside. Ow, ow, ow . Paula fought, but he pinned her down mercilessly. Only after he was satisfied with the result, did he help her stand.

  Paula struggled to come to terms with what had happened. Part of her understood his actions, but still, she was mad. She had been doing her job!

  She forced herself to stand upright on unsteady legs. With trembling hands, she pushed her hair behind her ears. Jim reached for her and she stepped back, avoiding his touch.

  "Melda?"

  Was there hurt in his voice? Why would he feel hurt? I'm the injured party here! Her shock, disbelief, and pain made way for more anger.

  "You promised you would never interfere with my work."

  Jim looked at her as though he didn't understand her anger. "You willingly put yourself at risk with that stunt you pulled." He raked his hand through his hair, pushing it into messy disarray. "You shouldn't have been there, and you wouldn't have been if you'd done your shopping when you were supposed to. You agreed to take care of yourself, and that includes not putting yourself in harm's way when you don't have to!"

  Paula fumed. "I wasn't harmed!"

  "Sheer luck!" he countered.

  "What the hell!" she yelled. "Luck had nothing to do with it. I'm a damn good detective, Jim. I knew what I was doing!"

  "You were lucky, Paula! It was a reckless stunt. You don't walk in on something like that without any backup. You keep a perfectly good bulletproof vest in your car and didn't bother to put it on, even though you knew the perps were armed." Jim started pacing up and down, still running his hand through his hair. She'd never seen him this agitated and frustrated. Had she done this to him? Her anger faded as she considered the events from his point of view. She had been impulsive. The robbery could have gone differently if the perps had been experienced. He was right about the vest, too. Why hadn't she taken the time to put it on? And, yes, she should have done the shopping before. What did this mean for them? He said the punishment wiped the slate clean, but she didn't feel any better and he was still upset.

  Why would he want a relationship with her? She was too old for him, too focused on work, too self-centered to ever be a good submissive. Why had she agreed to try? This was the proof she had needed that she wasn't fit for any kind of serious relationship.

  "What are you doing?"

  Jim's question made her realize she was fumbling with the clasp of the delicate collar he'd placed around her neck less than two months ago. She would not cry! She wouldn't!

  With jerky movements, Paula unclasped the symbol of their bond and placed it on the table. "This won't work, Jim. I'm going. It…it's better this way."

  Paula started to walk away. Jim gulped in an audible breath and she couldn't look at him. If she did, she would cave and fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness. She couldn't stay. She wasn't sorry for what she had done and she would probably do the same thing the next time. She would keep disappointing him until he would only look at her with contempt. She squared her shoulders with resolve. Maybe if she told herself often enough this was for the best, she would start to believe it. She made it to the entryway, dressed, and was out the door, managing to hold back her tears until she reached her car.

  Chapter 12

  The cheerful Christmas lights did nothing to brighten Paula's mood. She braced herself as she waited with Derek Kiriakis at James and Laura's front door. Fuck! Sometimes she hated this job. She glanced over at the social worker who looked as miserable as she felt.

  The door opened and Laura appeared in the doorway. "Paula, what a pleasant—" the smile of recognition on her face died with her greeting, "Derek? If you're here together, something must be wrong. What's happened? Did the judge change his mind about Josh's probation?" Laura brought her hand to her chest and tears started to form in her eyes. Her breathing became erratic.

  Before Paula could do anything, Derek stepped past her and into Laura's personal space. "Laura, look at me." His quiet but authoritative voice pulled at something inside Paula and she noticed her friend responded to it, too. Derek said, "Take a deep breath. That's a good girl. Let it out slowly. That's it. Again." Paula watched in awe as Derek managed to calm Laura down. "Okay, let's go inside. Is James home?" Laura nodded. "Good. We need to see all three of you."

  Derek turned halfway toward Paula and she felt his gaze collide with hers. If this guy wasn't a Dom, she'd eat her badge for breakfast. Damn the man for reminding her of Jim! Well, if he could prevent Laura from breaking down, she couldn't hate him for it. Time to get to the heart of their visit. "Hello, Laura. We have news about Josh's mother. May we come inside?"

  Laura nodded and said weakly, "Yes, yes. Of course. Sorry." She stepped aside and allowed them both to enter. "Follow me. James and Josh are cleaning up from dinner."

  Paula followed her friend down the hall and into the open-plan living space with its kitchen. James turned and his smile faltered. He placed a hand on Josh's arm. "I think we'll leave the cleaning for now, son."

  Aside from the enormity of the situation, Paula felt a spike of happiness when she saw the way Josh looked at James with trust in his eyes. Then his focus went over to the visitors and he scowled their way. Paula couldn't fault him for that. She and Derek had never brought anything pleasant for the boy. Today would not change that.

  Paula cleared her throat and did what had to be done. "There's no easy way to say it, Josh. Your mother overdosed this afternoon. Attempts to resuscitate her failed. I'm very sorry."

  Josh stared at her with big, unblinking eyes. "Are you saying my mom d-died?" James slid a supportive arm around the boy's shoulder and Josh leaned into the big body beside him.

  Paula glanced over at Laura, whose tears now ran down her cheeks. "Yes, Josh. I'm sorry."

  He swallowed hard and looked over to Laura with tear-filled eyes. He held out a hand to her and Laura moved forward to comfort him. "I-I loved her, you know," Josh whispered. "Despite everything. She…she was my mom." He turned and buried his face in James' chest, but he clung to Laura's hand. James used his free arm to pull Laura closer and they stood together for a long time wi
th Josh's shoulders shaking in silent cries, Laura's sobs audible, and James murmuring endearments. Paula and Derek were forgotten for the moment.

  Paula felt Derek come close. "Let's give them a bit of time to come to terms. Do you know your way around their kitchen? Water and tea will be welcome in a moment, I think."

  Paula nodded. That was an excellent idea.

  While Paula pulled a water pitcher from the fridge, collected mugs and glasses, and started the electric tea kettle, Derek finished cleaning the kitchen. Paula couldn't help studying him as he worked. There was something about him that reminded her of Jim and James, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He was definitely a Dom, but somehow different. She started as James cleared his throat behind them and she tore her gaze from Derek.

  She forced a smile and held up the tea kettle in invitation. James nodded and guided his family to the kitchen table like a shepherd herding his flock. Both Laura and Josh had red-rimmed eyes, but they looked more relaxed now.

  "What happened?" Josh wanted to know. "She was okay when I visited her last week. You said she overdosed. Where would she get drugs in jail?"

  Derek helped Paula carry over the tea tray. Paula had found blueberry muffins in a paper bag from The Sweet and Savory Table and she handed out paper napkins while answering Josh's question. "It looks like that. She was found unconscious in her cell with a needle still in her arm. They'll be doing a full autopsy tomorrow afternoon, but the toxicology report will take a while. The jail is investigating how the drugs got inside, but I'm afraid it will be hard to find evidence. Smuggling is an ongoing problem."

  Derek poured tea and the table fell silent for a moment as each took time adding milk or lemon and sugar. All that could be heard for a moment was the clinking of spoons against the ceramic of the cups.

  As they stirred their tea and gave it time to cool down, Laura turned to Josh. "Would you like us to arrange a funeral for her?" Laura inquired. Her voice was raw with emotion. A lonely tear worked its way down Josh's left cheek.