Dirge (Devastation Trilogy 1)

by Lesli Richardson

  I honestly didn’t understand what they meant about that until college, my first year in the dorm, and hearing guys talk.

  And overhearing women talk.

  I have the feeling something might have happened to Mom when she was younger, but neither Dad nor Mom told us that, if it did. Just a suspicion I have. When I once asked Mom outright, she dodged the subject, so I’ve never brought it up again because I could tell it was too painful for her to talk about.

  So when Ellen first asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to sleep with her, I was absolutely honest that, yes, I did. Then I laid it all out to her, that I wasn’t going to ask her for it. She had to ask me, make the first move, all of that. Especially the first time.

  That once we were together for a while, and I understood her body language better, then maybe I would initiate sex. But in the beginning, she would need to be the one to do that, because I didn’t want to be an asshole.

  My first two girlfriends didn’t seem to know how to react to that, which confused me, too. Apparently, they’d been used to guys pushing them for sex.

  Although my admission to Ellen got me shoved back onto her bed and blown, right then.

  Blown quite well, thank you very much.

  I was going to reciprocate, except then Casey had returned and, of course, we didn’t have time or privacy to do anything else because she’d immediately knocked on Ellen’s bedroom door to let her know she was home, after having come in very loudly and making more noise than seemed humanly possible just for walking in a door.

  Which left me feeling guilty, that I left Ellen hanging, but she smiled and assured me that was fine. That she could wait.

  That was a couple of weeks ago.

  I’m finally going to get my chance to return the favor. And I swear, even if we don’t end up having intercourse, I’m going to enjoy the hell out of this weekend, out of not having to share her time and attention with Casey.

  Of seeing if there is a deeper attraction between us, or if it’s one-sided on my part.

  I went grocery shopping earlier today, on my way home from class, so we wouldn’t have to leave the apartment until Sunday, if we didn’t want to. I think we’re going to have a great weekend spending time together, with no expectations.

  No sooner do I have the apartment door shut and locked behind us when she’s on me. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, and it takes a moment for my brain to process this development and respond appropriately.

  Like dropping the bag and wrapping my arms around her.

  We stand there, me leaning against the door as we kiss, while she grinds herself against me, and frankly I’m not sure that I won’t come in my briefs just from that. I slide my hands down her ass and cup her there, through the cute sundress she’s wearing.

  That’s when I realize she’s not wearing any panties.

  She breaks our kiss first. “Bedroom,” she says. “Please?”

  She giggles when I scoop her into my arms and carry her to my bedroom. The smile on her face, the eager energy in her green eyes—I’ll take the memory of this moment of perfection with me to my grave, I know I will.

  I playfully drop her onto my bed and pounce, edging the hem of her sundress up over her knees. “Allow me, miss,” I tease. I push her thighs apart and she grabs my head as I lean in, pulling me closer, guiding me exactly where I wanted to go.

  Fuuuuck me, she shaves down there!

  I bury my face in her pussy and go to town, eagerly tasting her and using my tongue on her, and—

  I feel the hand in my hair tighten, gripping me, pulling me away.

  I was in the zone, man! “What’s wrong?”

  She…doesn’t look…happy? “Um… What are you doing?”

  “I…” I sit up, my brain scrambled, trying to make sense of this. “I mean, I’m… sorry? I thought you wanted that?”

  Holy shit, my stomach hits my feet. Did I just do—

  “I do want it, but have you never done it before?”

  I blink. “What?”

  “Eat a pussy. Have you never eaten a pussy before?”

  She’s…serious.

  I’m honestly shocked and at a loss for words. “Uh…yes?”

  She’s wearing a smirk that seems to be channeling Casey. “Are you sure? Because it sure felt like you had no clue what you were doing.”

  “I-I—”

  “Hold on.” She sits up and pulls the sundress off, just to reveal she’s not wearing anything under it, not even a bra. I’m still staring at her beautiful body while she kicks off her sandals and fluffs up my pillows so she can sit up and lean back against them.

  “Let’s try this again.” She reaches down with her left hand, spreads her labia apart, and starts pointing out the topography.

  I struggle to listen, to process, to focus. My cock, which had been hard already, my issue compounded by how I was rubbing against the bed as I was attempting to eat her out, has wilted.

  “Ready to try again?”

  I dumbly nod, humbled and finally starting to work the panic out of my system. No, I didn’t violate her consent.

  Apparently, I just…suck at oral. Which wasn’t something my two previous girlfriends mentioned.

  Now I’m nervous. Can performance anxiety mess a guy up like this, too? Because while yes, I’m eager as hell to try again, my cock has completely wilted as my brain has engaged and desperately tried to follow along with her tutelage.

  She’s already a teacher. Even though I’m reasonably sure she won’t be teaching like this in any elementary school.

  She throws me a bone. “I know you’re eager, but I don’t expect you to be a super lover our first time out. It takes a while to get to know someone’s body.”

  “You didn’t have any trouble with me when you blew me.”

  She smiles. “I practiced.”

  I lean in and try again, letting her talk me through it.

  Even I can tell the difference this time, because she starts making all these sweet gasps and moans as she’s talking me through it. Her hand returns to my hair, gripping, stroking, fisting, and her hips begin rocking in time with what I’m doing.

  After about ten minutes, she’s not talking now, except to beg me not to stop, summoning her deity, and saying, “Yes, George!”

  Gotta say, that last one sounds different than I’ve ever heard it before. Maybe I really did suck before, because my past two girlfriends never sounded like this when I went down on them.

  I keep going until she finally pats me on the head, then starts gently pushing me away. That’s when I sit up, but she pulls me in for a kiss, not even wiping my face first.

  In fact, I’m hard again now—don’t even know when that happened—and even harder when she licks her juices off my chin. There’s a sweet, glazed look in her eyes I’ve never seen anyone wear before, either.

  I’m actually afraid to ask. “H-how was that?”

  She nuzzles her nose against mine. “Fantastic, Sir.”

  A pleasant shiver ripples through me at the term.

  Correction, at the way she said it. “Sir?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” She hooks her feet around the backs of my knees. I’m still dressed, even with my sneakers on. “If you were that good our first time with only a few minutes of instruction, I can only imagine how you’ll be after a few years together.”

  I answer her smile with one of my own. “Yeah?”

  She plays with my shirt collar. “Yeah.” There’s something so sweetly vulnerable about her in this moment that it makes my cock twitch. “I know what I want. I want a guy who will take control in good ways. Be protective of me. Let me be me outside the bedroom, but he wants to be in charge inside it.” She’s watching me closely now.

  “H-how much in charge?” I feel something deep inside me slither, the stuff of my darkest hidden fantasies that Good-Guy George would never dare engage in.

  Bad-Guy George, however…

  Her voice drops to a whisper. “I want a guy not
afraid to take what he wants, but who I know if I say no, he’ll know I mean it and stop. Good guy with a bad side only for and with me. Because I want to be Sir’s cherished little slut, a slut for only him.”

  My throat goes dry and I feel a little light-headed. I’m positive that’s because my cock is now hogging my body’s blood supply. “You do, huh?” I somehow manage.

  She nods and now she’s playing with my shirt collar with both hands. “I want to be pinned down and fucked until I’m bow-legged. I want our little secret to be between us. I want to take you to dinner to meet my parents without me wearing any panties, and my ass stinging because you stopped the car and spanked me five minutes before we got there because you wanted to remind me I’m your good girl…Sir.”

  Fuck.

  Me.

  I don’t think—I feel. My left hand shoots out, fists her hair, and drags her to me so I can crush my lips over hers in a deep, sucking kiss.

  She lets out one of those sexy, mewling sighs and wraps her arms around my neck. My right hand cups her left nipple, my thumb brushing over the tip, where it peaks for me. Then I trap it between my thumb and forefinger and start rolling it back and forth as I fuck her mouth with my tongue.

  She likes that.

  I increase the pressure, until I’m pinching and she’s now sitting in my lap with her legs wrapped around me, too, and trying to grind against me.

  I have to use my fist in her hair to pull her lips off mine, because she won’t let me end the kiss.

  Because there’s still a little future lawyer in me jumping up and down on the emergency brake and trying to engage it.

  “How do I know if you want to struggle for fun, or if you’re really saying no?” I manage.

  Because she has noooooo idea the depths of my darkness.

  She smiles. “How about I say ‘Casey’?”

  I blink and start laughing, my mood a little more in hand, which works. Because she laughs with me.

  “Yeah, that would do it,” I tell her.

  She nibbles on my chin. “I mean it—I want to let go. I like giving up control like this, because I trust you.”

  More emotion pours into me, compounding my muddled mental state right now. “You trust me?”

  She nods. “You’ve never tried to push me. But I can see…” She cocks her head to the side, something she and Casey both do when they’re thinking. “I can see it inside you. You like to be in control, and you’ve been holding back. I feel it when we’re together. Like you’re forcing yourself to be the good guy, but the bad guy wants to play.”

  This is something else that tells me I’m going to marry her—because she pays attention to me as much as I pay attention to her.

  I slowly nod. “I have…fantasies,” I finally admit.

  Her eyes widen, hope painted there. “Please tell me it involves rope and spankings?” she eagerly asks.

  “Um…” I sigh and sit back, taking her hands in mine. “Okay. How about you tell me your absolute darkest fantasy, and then I’ll tell you mine? No judgment, seriously.”

  Honestly, it’s a miracle I can even talk right now, much less form coherent sentences. My cock has once again softened a little.

  She’s still studying me. “We’re married,” she softly says. “You’re practicing law, and I’m a teacher. It’s the end of the day and when you come home from work, you find me kneeling in the hall, in nothing but a leather collar and cuffs. You’ve had a shitty day, so you take me into the living room and spank the crap out of me for stress relief. Then you have me kneel between your legs, where you’re sitting on the couch, and you face-fuck me, hard. Gagging me, making me take it. Fist in my hair and everything. I swallow when you come and then you pull me up into your arms and kiss me, snuggling with me, before you carry me upstairs and make love to me.”

  I realize at the end of this my mouth has dropped open. She blushes, totally red-faced now, not something I’ve seen her do before. She sits back and tugs her hands free from mine, hugging her arms around herself and covering her breasts.

  “Or is that too much, Sir?” she whispers.

  Here I’d been worried she was going to bolt on me.

  I grab the front of her throat and push her down onto the bed, sideways, so I can roll her onto her back and straddle her. I grab her wrists and pin them over her head and lean in, my lips inches over hers and staring directly into her eyes.

  “I’m at work one afternoon,” I say. “In my law office. You get out of work before I do and stop on your way home. I tell you to lock the door behind you, and you do. Then I pull you in and make you kneel on the floor and suck my cock.”

  I hear her sharp intake of breath, the good kind, and watch a different kind of pink flush fill her neck, her chest.

  “I don’t let you come then,” I tell her. “In fact, once I’ve come and you’ve swallowed like my good girl, I tell you that I’d better come home to find you naked and wearing a large butt plug.”

  Under me, her hips start moving, but she can’t get any traction because my legs are outside hers. I shift position so my left thigh is pressing between hers, and she starts grinding.

  “When I get home,” I continue, “I bend you over our bed and take a paddle to that gorgeous ass of yours. When I slid my fingers between your legs, you’re wet and soooo fucking horny for me.”

  Her eyes have gone glassy and she’s whimpering. I’m probably going to have a wet spot on my jeans.

  Yay!

  “When I pull my fingers out, I make you suck them clean and then I take the butt plug out of your ass and fuck you there while I stuff a dildo in your pussy and use a vibrator on your clit. I don’t come, at first. I hold it back and wait until I’ve made you come over and over again. Only then do I finish fucking you.”

  When her moan starts, I slant my lips over hers and kiss her, swallowing every sweet sound she makes as she comes all over my jeans, until she exhausts herself and is lying there, limp, sated, and staring up at me with wonder.

  I release her wrists and sit up. “And that’s not even my darkest fantasy,” I admit. “That’s just a Tuesday.”

  She sits up and kisses me, her arms sliding around me and holding me tightly. “Sounds like heaven to me, Sir.”

  The words are out of my mouth before I can sit on them. “Marry me,” I whisper. “Please? After you graduate. You don’t even have to tell anyone yet, if you don’t want to. But please marry me. I love you. I knew I was in love with you the first week we were dating.”

  I think I’ve fucked up, that I’ve ruined it. That she’s going to get up, get dressed, and walk out, leaving me with a hard-on and a fridge full of groceries.

  But she smiles. “If you break my heart, Casey will kill you,” she says.

  I nod. “If I break your heart, I’d probably want her to.”

  She still studies me. “Secret engagement, for now,” she says. “If we’re still together when you graduate next year, then we announce it.”

  I nod, maybe too eagerly. “Yeah. Yes, Okay!”

  “Meanwhile,” she says, a sweetly evil grin painted across her face, “you do your worst and we decide if we can live like that…Sir.” Her smile fades. “You don’t control my career. That’s all me. Or if we have kids or not. For finances, we’re equals, unless I ask you to take charge of something.”

  I nod, too dumbfounded in this moment to trust myself to speak again.

  “And my parents are religious,” she says. “I used to be, but I’m…evolving. I’m an atheist now, but I need to pretend around my family so they don’t disown me. Okay?”

  I nod again.

  “And you need to try to be friends with Casey. Even if she ends up hating you. Don’t you ever try to come between us. I’ll walk away if you do.”

  More nodding from me.

  She drapes her arms around my neck. “In the bedroom, and when it’s just the two of us, I’ll be happy to be Sir’s obedient girl.”

  I kiss her, because, honestly? I’m still…
stupidly happy and not trusting myself to not say something really fucking dumb that will jinx this.

  “Now what?” I hoarsely manage a few minutes later.

  She reaches up and cups the back of my neck, plays with my hair. “Now, Sir,” she says, “I want you to flip me over and fuck my brains out.”

  By the time we fall asleep that night with her spooned in my arms, I know whatever I have to do to marry her, I’ll do it. I’ll move mountains. I’ll crawl over broken glass.

  I’ll somehow win over her prickly bestie who makes a cactus feel like smooth glass.

  It takes me less than a week to hardly ever need her guidance on how to make her climax. She’s promised to never fake it with me, and I’ve promised to always listen to her.

  I buy her a necklace and the next Friday, when I take her out to dinner, I put it on her in the car before we go inside. A day collar.

  A necklace she wore until the day she died, and which I still have in her jewelry box, along with her wedding rings.

  After I collar her, I grab her hair and make her blow me right there in the parking lot.

  Later that night, after dinner, I pull over on a secluded road, hike her dress up around her hips, and fuck her while leaning against the side of my car.

  She comes twice.

  And the beaming smile on her face when I walk her to her front door and kiss her good-night there, because I have to work early the next morning, fills my heart with joy.

  We live a dual life around Casey, because I don’t want to piss her off. And as the weeks pass, we three settle into a sort of easy routine. Casey does come around and start to like me. Maybe because she realizes I’m not going anywhere.

  I take the time to learn about her, too. Her likes, her soft spots. For Casey’s birthday we take her out to her favorite restaurant, and I pull my weight around their apartment with chores when I visit.

  I get up in the middle of the night to go change Casey’s tire for her when Ellen calls me, because Casey refused to call me herself and her AAA had expired, because she couldn’t afford to renew it. She’d asked Ellen to come pick her up.

  I would’ve spanked Ellen’s ass if she hadn’t called me and had gone and picked her up herself.