Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  She put her head in her hands, shaking her head from side to side.

  Rarely was Flora so brutally honest about it.

  ‘If I am going to have an operation, I want to see what’s going to happen. I need to know. Flora, please help me.’

  Her first reaction was to run out of the house and back home but Ed was with her kids.

  Flora was stuck.

  ‘I’m not going to show you everything, okay,’ she said, her voice trembling. ‘I’ll show you what I can.’ Noreen nodded. ‘I’ll take off my bra then you can look down the front of my dress. That’s the best I can do.’

  ‘I understand.’

  She went under her dress and took off her bra, turning her back to Noreen. Then she faced her, took a deep breath, pulling the front of her dress forward.

  ‘Look down,’ she said, glancing at the ceiling, hoping it would be quick.

  ‘I see,’ Noreen said. ‘I can’t see many scars.’

  ‘There are some but it has been four years and I moisturise.

  It was a shock. Feeling a hand touch her breast. Flora looked at Noreen, who had one in each hand.

  ‘They feel very real,’ the woman said. ‘Very realistic.’

  ‘Can I put my bra back on?’

  ‘Very nice.’’

  ‘Thank you,’ Flora said, hesitating for a little before putting her bra on very quickly.

  It was hard but she sucked in her anguish and the tears that were weeping inside her. She then noticed Noreen’s gentle expression as she touched her hand.

  ‘Will you speak to Ed for me?’ she asked Flora. ‘He’s having a hard time getting his head around this. With his son dying, it was very tough for him. I think he’s scared something is going to happen, you see. He doesn’t cope well in situations like this.’

  ‘Who does?’

  ‘Men get scared, Flora. They don’t like seeing imperfections especially in something they love. I think it’s their way of coping. I know Ed had a hard time with Eddie being injured. Maybe that’s what your husband did.’

  ‘No, he was a selfish bastard. Some men are just like that. They disappoint, hurt and abandon you because they never wanted you in the first place.’

  ‘I’m back,’

  … he heard Flora say, walking through the door.

  Ed had been playing with the kids and was having fun. It reminded him of Amelia and Eddie.

  He watched Flora go straight into the kitchen, open the fridge and pour out a large glass of wine.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ he asked, getting up, walking towards her.

  She stood with her back to him.

  ‘Were the kids good?’

  ‘They’re a lot of fun.’

  ‘Your mum’s fine. You should go and see her,’ she said, looking into her glass and drinking slowly.

  ‘Flora, thank you for-.’

  ‘Please Ed, can you go?' she said, her voice very cool and distant. ‘Thanks for being here. Go and see your mum. She needs you.’

  He wanted to look at her but Flora’s head was hanging down. She seemed very upset but was holding it in.

  ‘Okay.’

  Ed walked towards the living room.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ he said gently.

  ‘Oh!’ groaned Max. ‘Why can’t you stay longer?’

  Ed turned to look at Flora, who hadn’t moved an inch.

  ‘Bye,’ Lola said, flicking a glance over at her mum.

  ‘Is she okay?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she grimaced. ‘I’ll see. Thanks for coming and don’t tell her what I said. She’ll just get upset.’

  Ed walked out of the house, slightly confused about Flora’s behaviour. Again there was no eye contact and he wondered what he’d done wrong. She couldn’t have got upset about what he said on Friday.

  But then again, it was Flora and he had no idea if she would.

  Rushing back to the house, he was startled to find his mother in high spirits.

  ‘Hello Ed, how are Flora’s children?’ Noreen gushed, sipping a glass of wine. ‘I bet they’re beauties.’

  ‘They are,’ he replied, seeing his father looking just as confused as he felt. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘All’s fine,’ she shrugged. ‘Just be being silly. I want to plan my seventieth party today. I think I need something to look forward to.’

  ‘But mum, shouldn’t we wait?’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘To see what happens with the biopsy?’ added Siobhan, standing next to Ed then gently grabbing his hand. ‘One thing at a time.’

  ‘Listen, if things are bad, they’re bad. I’ll cope. Flora got through it and I can too.’ Noreen then looked at Ed. ‘Are you really friends with her estranged husband?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I didn’t know they were together.’

  ‘I bet you didn’t,’ mumbled his sister, pinching his arm. ‘She looks very well, doesn’t she? Still as pretty as ever.’

  ‘That one is a fine woman,’ grinned his father. Noreen scowled at Ernie, who innocently shrugged his shoulders. ‘Any man would be lucky to have her.’

  ‘Ed, I would never impose on you but could you take her out for dinner or something, as a thank you for coming round. I know she goes to that old Italian place all the time on the High Road. What’s it called again?’

  ‘Mario’s and how do you know?’ he asked, suddenly recalling being in there with Flora all those years ago before they made love that night. ‘Have you seen her?’

  ‘No! She said she goes there most weekends when the children are with him,’ sniffed Noreen. ‘That man doesn’t seem very nice.’

  ‘You don’t know him,’ sighed Ed before sitting next to his father. ‘Please don’t try and fix me up with her, okay? I’m seeing Emily.’

  ‘Young enough to be your daughter. I’m surprised you’re not dating someone younger than Amelia.’

  ‘I don’t know if I prefer you miserable or happy.’

  ‘Just ask her out. I think Flora needs cheering up.’ Then his mother’s face turned stony. ‘I think Flora’s very sad about so many things and you can see she’s holding it all in. That’s not a good thing. Did I ever tell you? Before Shirley sold the place, she was very worried about Flora.’

  ‘Was she?’ Siobhan said, looking at Ed. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because she said that she seemed heartbroken before she went to Brighton. Shirley said she was very happy one day and then the next, she cried for days. Her mother thought she didn’t want to go anymore then was shocked to find she’d upped and left. No-one knew what happened. Broke Shirley’s heart that all Flora ever planned was to leave,’ sighed Noreen, getting up and walking to the kitchen. Ed realised it must have had something to do with him. ‘Some young lad must have upset her.’

  ‘I wonder who that could have been?’ his sister said as Ed pulled out his phone which was vibrating in his pocket. ‘Would you know?’

  ‘And Ed, you were in pieces around the same time. The news from Diane came as a shock to all of us,’ his mother said, looking quizzically at him. ‘How our lives changed from that moment.’

  Ed knew she was right and noticed it was Lee calling.

  ‘It’s Lee, I better take it,’ he said, standing up.

  ‘Bet it was that Lee,’ said Noreen, coming back in with another bottle. Ed did a double take. ‘I always knew he’d taken a shine to Flora. I could tell.’

  He noticed his sister was trying not to smile.

  ‘I bet he followed her up to Brighton,’ sighed his mother, sitting down next to Ernie and tapping his hand. ‘He seems the type. Probably that’s what she left Brighton in the first year and came back to London, trying to get away from him.’

  ‘Did you know that, little brother?’ whispered his sister, shaking her head. ‘Flora came back.’

  Ed had no idea.

  ‘There’s nothing to say, really,’

  … Flora said on the phone to Lisa a few days later. ‘I flashed my tits at an elderly woman. She didn’t
keel over nor did she vomit at the sight of them.’ Then she laughed. ‘Plus she had a little feel and that’s about as much sex as I’m ever going to have in my life.’

  Lisa started to laugh out loudly.

  ‘And, furthermore, I’ve found out a few things about Ed that have stumped me. He had twin children born soon after he got his leg ever with me, which means he was getting one last fling.’

  ‘You don’t know that.’

  ‘And, this is really sad, one of the twins died a few years back, his son.’ Flora shut her eyes for a moment. ‘He has grown up children and likes to date young women. Typical forty something bloke if you ask me.’

  ‘And his mum likes to touch up women,’ sniggered Lisa. ‘Are we still on for Friday?’

  ‘Yes. The kids will be here as Matias has swapped weekends but they like to hang out with you lot. Gaynor, Priti and even Faith are making a show. You can come and see what they’re doing to my place. Three weeks and it’ll be finished.’ Flora looked up at the ceiling. ‘But I’m not sure when they’ll start on the bedrooms. Jesus Lisa, it’s a bloody mess! I’ve been good at keeping out of the way but there’s only so much time I want to spend at the centre.’

  ‘Are you avoiding anyone?’

  ‘Just Matias. I know he’s still turning up and I’ve been good at avoiding him but there’s even building work at the centre so I have to work at home for the next few weeks. Look, I better go. See you on Friday.’

  She put her phone in her bag. Flora needed to get home early to work on some CV’s and application forms. It was hard to concentrate when she was at the centre, people around wanting to chat and now with builders surrounding her. Today she needed to catch up with her admin and sought refuge in her study.

  As she approached home, the skip was being emptied. They’d removed the old wood flooring from the house and had been replacing it with planks which were less likely to splinter.

  ‘Great,’ she mumbled, knowing it would be in a bigger mess than usual, then heard a wolf whistle.

  ‘You not got your contacts in?’ Flora smiled, seeing it was Derek, flicking his moustache. ‘There’s an old people’s home down the road. They’d appreciate it.’

  ‘He wolf whistles at everyone,’ said Simon, his top off, trying to wheelbarrow wood scraps into the skip.

  ‘And you’ll get sunburn,’ she said, seeing his red shoulders.

  ‘Would you like me to take my top off?’ Derek said, stroking his large rotund tummy, giving her a suggestive smile before going into a sexy pose. Flora thought he looked like a garden gnome and grinned. ‘I’ll do it for you.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ she said quietly. ‘Another time.’

  She turned to walk into the house.

  ‘Flora!’ Derek shouted. ‘I wouldn’t go in there right now.’ The man grimaced. ‘There’s a bit of a ding dong going on.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Mr Sosa’s inside. I think him and Ed don't see eye to eye on something.’

  ‘Probably squabbling over sharing teenage girls.’

  She noticed Simon started to laugh.

  Flora walked in and could hear Matias’ dulcet tone but then stopped. There was a beautiful light oak floor throughout the downstairs and she could hear the voices from the kitchen.

  ‘It is not want we agreed,’ Matias said, sounding very pissed off. ‘I wanted a lighter wood not this. It’s too dark.’

  ‘It’s the sample that was sent and agreed to,’ she heard Ed reply.

  Something fluttered in her gut on hearing his voice before plummeting when she heard Matias say,

  ‘It has to go!’

  ‘It’s staying and you’re not!’ Flora said loudly, walking into the downstairs study and dropping her bags. She knew composure was the call of the day. ‘I think it’s beautiful, I really do.’

  When she walked back out, Flora’s eyes met Ed’s and he half smiled, only for her to see.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ said Matias, his sunglasses perched on his head. He was wearing some designer suit and she immediately turned up her nose. ‘And this is not what I designed.’

  ‘Can I remind you of one thing?’ Flora said quietly, focussed on the man who shot her a dirty glance. ‘This is my home. I own it. It’s in my name. As an agreement because I moved out with the kids, you were to help decorate and renovate. It took you two bloody years to pull your finger out. I have to live here and so will my children.’

  ‘Our children,’ Matias corrected.

  ‘Wish they weren’t,’ she mumbled and realised Ed caught the comment but glanced away. ‘I like the wood, I love the shade and it’s not going anywhere. I’ll be around for the next few weeks because I’ve been kicked out of my office. If anyone has a right to give an opinion of what I want, then it’s me.’

  ‘Ed, do you mind leaving us alone for a moment?’ Matias asked.

  ‘Of course,’ he replied and walked out towards the front of the house.

  She noticed Matias eyed her up and down.

  ‘You look very pretty today,’ he said, his voice gentler. ‘How are you? You’ve not been returning my calls. It could have been urgent.’

  ‘You’re not dead so it can’t be,’ she said flatly which only made him smile.

  ‘I want this house to be a home.’

  ‘If you decorated the way you wanted, it’d be made out of steel and plastic which is not my thing.’

  ‘It’s like that in my, I mean, our house. You never complained then,’ he replied huffily.

  ‘You never asked me for my opinion. You just did what you wanted when you wanted to, like always.’ Flora took a deep breath. ‘Can you sign the papers? I want to move on. This work is the last thing to be sorted and I want to draw a line under all of this.’

  Matias started to walk around the room, looking at the corners before going closer to her. He was very close, so close she could feel his breath on her skin. Flora stepped back.

  ‘I made a mistake,’ he whispered. That sentence made her blood run cold. ‘I’ve seen the error of my ways. Can’t you even look at me?’

  Flora’s eyes were firmly focussed on the ground.

  ‘Flora? Please look at me.’

  ‘The same way you looked at me when I was recovering from the operation. The one where they removed the tissues in my breasts? Cutting around bits and sewing them up, leaving me disfigured and not womanly?’ Then she looked up at him and saw the horror in his eyes. ‘That’s the look.’

  ‘I have to go,’ he said, walking quickly out of the house.

  ‘Sign the papers!’

  ‘This is what she does,’

  … giggled Derek. Ed, Simon and Derek were stood around the corner, at the back of the house. The others were working away, oblivious to what was going on. ‘I call it her fruit revenge.’

  ‘How do you know this?’ asked Ed, recoiling from what Flora said to Matias, knowing the kids were telling the truth. ‘You’ve not been spying on her?’

  ‘Listen, she was around before you decided to turn up on the scene,’ said a disgruntled Derek. Simon mouthed to Ed ‘he fancies her’. ‘And, like I said, it gets a bit heated. Look, watch this.’

  Ed could see Flora was trying very hard to compose herself then walked towards the fruit bowl. She grabbed a banana.

  ‘That’s bad,’ said Simon, turning to his uncle. ‘He’s hit a nerve.’

  Taking it, he watched her peel it then put it to her lips.

  ‘I can imagine her doing something like that to me,’ sighed Derek. Ed decided not to say anything as Simon rolled his eyes. ‘See her lips? Gorgeous!’

  Then Flora stopped, thought about something, put the banana onto a plate.

  ‘Oh, she’s pondering,’ Derek added. ‘I wonder what it is.’

  For a moment, she had her back to them then the next thing they saw was a knife coming down quickly chopping the banana in half.

  ‘Jesus!’ Ed said, all of them wincing, knowing what she was thinking and whose banana it wa
s.

  Quickly the movement continued until she had sliced it all up. With a smirk, she put a slice in her mouth, taking the plate and disappearing into the study.

  ‘If he annoys her, which he does on most days, she gets a piece of fruit and stabs or chops it. We know she’s thinking about him. Letting out her frustration,’ whispered Simon, stepping out from around the corner. ‘You should stop him from coming round. There’s nothing wrong with the flooring.’

  Glancing into the house, Ed thought it looked lovely but they still had a lot of work to do.

  ‘We’re not going to finish it in three weeks,’ Derek said cheerfully. ‘I don’t mind working a few weeks extra.’

  ‘You fancy her, that’s why,’ laughed Simon, walking back into the house.

  ‘I don’t think I’m the only one,’ Derek mumbled, looking at Ed, who glanced at him and then back into the house. ‘What are you doing here again?’

  ‘We need to complete this in three weeks. I can’t afford for us to go over and she won’t want us here, if that means Matias keeps coming round.’ He didn’t want to get into a debate of what he was and wasn’t doing. ‘But I’m not going to lose a penny over this.’

  His mobile rang. It was his dad.

  ‘Hello,’ Ed said, walking to the end of the garden. ‘How’s she?’

  ‘She’s fine. Back to her old self. Telling me what to do, you know how it is,’ he said quietly. ‘Your mother’s in fine spirits. It won’t take long for the results,’ Ernie replied. ‘You need to thank Flora for coming to see her.’

  ‘Did she ask you to call me?’

  ‘Please take Flora for a drink, just to keep mum off your back and mine. I’ll do it if you don’t want to.’

  ‘What is it with men and Flora?’ he said out loud then noticed she was looking at him through the window.

  When he caught her, she just turned and walked away.

  ‘I’ll ask her.’

  Putting his phone in his pocket, he walked to the study and knocked on the door.