Happy Now?

by S M Mala

‘If you like.’

  ‘What if I want to slip my hand into your knickers? Would you object?’ That’s when she could feel her heart beating very fast and looked into his eyes. ‘I want to touch your skin.’

  ‘Don’t expect anything.’

  ‘I want you to expect something.’

  Then he slipped his hand down the front and she gasped when he ran his finger slowly between her lips, looking for her nub. Flora held her breath because she knew he’d have felt how wet she was.

  Ed started moving slowly as she kissed him passionately back, letting his tongue fill her mouth. Then he started going faster, his fingers rubbing her, the friction making her thighs part.

  She didn’t want to scream, let rip what was going on.

  Then she couldn’t hold it any long, feeling the burn and throbbing whip through her body, her hips buckled because the orgasm surprised her. Groaning into his mouth, she ran her fingers through the back of his head.

  He wasn’t stopping.

  Gently he used his fingers to continue her orgasm, moving inside her slowly.

  Flora couldn’t breathe.

  Her fanny was pulsating. It had its own hard beat.

  She pulled away and moaned so loudly when she had another little orgasm then noticed Ed was smiling down at her, his palm now gently rubbing her swollen and sopping lips.

  ‘I see,’ she said, trying to find her voice. ‘Your creative hands have certainly improved over the years.’

  ‘Oh my word!’

  … he said, feeling her lips around his cock the following morning.

  Ed smiled to himself.

  Flora might be saying she wasn’t ready for sex but he knew her body was saying something completely different. And when he gave her an orgasm, she simply couldn’t keep her hands off him.

  It was Ed’s determination not to rush things which made them slow down.

  But he desperately wanted to make love to her though he wasn’t going to force the issue.

  His heart did melt when he realised how insecure she was about her breasts, constantly checking the large sports bra was always in place. He could see her protruding nipples and wanted to place his mouth on them through the cloth. Every time his lips or hands travelled close, Flora would gently guide them elsewhere.

  With her lips and mouth now giving him some pleasure, he was having a problem holding off.

  ‘You like sausage for breakfast?’ he mumbled then he looked down and saw the eyes looking up at him while pulling away. It was like a flutter in his chest, seeing Flora. ‘I can take you out for breakfast if you like?’

  ‘Am I doing this wrong?’ she smiled. ‘I’ve not done it for ages and it’s not something I was ever good at.’

  ‘I disagree.’

  ‘I just want to make you happy,’ Flora whispered, kissing his stomach. His penis bounced up in response. ‘And if I can’t do other things then I have to make sure there are other ways to please you.’

  Propping himself on his elbow, Ed examined her.

  Her nightdress falling off her body, exposing the sports bra. Still, she looked gorgeous and he just stared.

  ‘I want to make you happy too,’ he said, grabbing her arms and pulling her up. ‘Flora, I’m not going to walk out of here and never come back, you know.’

  ‘I’m not asking for you to do anything.’

  ‘I really like you,’ he sighed, grabbing her head in his hands. ‘That has never changed. We have a lifetime to catch up on. I don’t care how you look because it makes no difference to me. When you’re ready, you’ll see that.’

  Nodding, she blinked hard.

  ‘I’m going to brush my teeth,’ she whispered, kissing his nose. ‘Then I’m going to come back and snog you as well as touch you up. Can you cope with that?’

  ‘I better brush my teeth too.’

  They both got up and stared at each other. He was butt naked and see was covered. Ed watched her eyes travel up and down his body as a smirk appeared on her lips.

  ‘You look good Ed Carter,’ she sighed, tilting her head to one side. ‘Very good.’

  ‘You don’t look too bad yourself,’ he grinned then noticed her smile fade. ‘I mean it.’

  ‘Let me escort you to the bathroom.’

  He followed her to a large bathroom and she got a new toothbrush, opening it up.

  ‘This green one is yours but we’ll keep it in the cabinet for when you visit,’ Flora said then quickly glanced over her shoulder. ‘That’s if you want to come and visit again.’

  Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he rested his head against hers.

  ‘If you don’t mind I’d love to come again.’

  Flora immediately turned around.

  ‘You do need to get some satisfaction from this. It can’t be all one sided. I know you liked sex when you were young and I don’t think that much has changed. I’ll be your challenge.’ Flora pursed her lips, thinking hard. ‘But I don’t want you to give up on me, not just yet. All I need is time.’

  ‘And confidence in yourself,’ said Ed, stroking her cheek. ‘And in me. You need trust and confidence in me to make you very happy again. I will, just you wait and see.’

  ‘You smell good,’

  … Flora said, kissing his naked stomach and watching him smile. ‘And you taste even better.’

  Ed started to laugh.

  She stopped and looked at the man in her bed, trying not to let out a whimpering sigh. Ed’s body was in extremely good shape. The morning light only enhancing his flat stomach and muscular chest. There were more hairs but it looked like he trimmed them back.

  ‘What are you looking at?’ he asked, putting his arms behind his head.

  ‘You.’

  ‘I thought you were going to kiss me all over?’

  ‘I’ll do that then.’

  Leaning down, her lips rested on his stomach before she poked her tongue into his belly button, feeling the muscles contract as he started to giggle.

  Knowing she wanted to please him, make him come back again, Flora knew it was important to show him she was willing to do everything to make him happy.

  Her hand grasped his shaft, moving up and down before she put her mouth over the end. Not wanting to look at him, all she concentrated on doing was making him come.

  If he knew she could give him an orgasm then he might, just might, forget that she couldn’t give him anymore.

  Then she heard a noise, the groan of satisfaction while his hand gently touched the back of her head. Sucking him into her mouth, she enjoyed his girth between her lips and waited to see what would happen next.

  ‘Flo,’ he whispered. ‘Kiss me.’

  Pulling away, she kept her hand firmly on what she was doing before seeing his face.

  It was gentle and his mouth was parted, ready for her kiss. He roughly pulled her closer, eager to touch her skin. When their tongues touched, she was in ecstasy and so was he, from the look on his face.

  But Ed suddenly pushed her back, pulling down her knickers and she wasn’t sure what to do.

  Still she held on tight, showing him she wouldn’t be put off her stroke.

  His hand massaged her gently then he put a finger inside, pushing as deep as he could.

  Flora gasped but kept on going. Her wetness was now being used to massage her to heaven. And in all this time, their lips hadn’t parted.

  She dreaded looking down, seeing her exposed fanny with his hand doing a marvellous job.

  Opening her eyes, he was looking at her. She pulled her lips away. Their foreheads were locked then she focussed on what he was doing.

  His hand was between her legs and her nightdress had ridden up. She kicked off her knickers and spread her thighs even wider before catching a glance of her hand moving up and down.

  Ed increased the speed and so did she.

  Then they stared at each other.

  ‘Oh!’ she said, feeling his fingers move at such speed, twisting and stroking her nub, pulling and massaging, caus
ing so much friction she felt like she was going to pee. ‘I’m going to come!’

  Flora hated shouting it out. She always thought it sounded so stupid but right now, it was the truth.

  ‘I want to make you come again and again,’ he whispered into her face.

  Her thighs were now bent and she screamed into his neck, not stopping her palm go up and down, wanting him desperately to come by her touch.

  ‘Flo, Flo,’ he panted. ‘Go with the flow!’

  He looked straight at her and kept his eyes focussed, the muscles in his neck getting stiffer and she wanted him come.

  Suddenly she felt the wetness of his warm juices over her hand and hitting her side.

  That’s when she realised.

  She was ridiculously in love with Ed Carter.

  Some things never changed.

  ‘You know how to wine and dine me, don’t you?’

  … she laughed.

  Ed had taken her to the café they had gone to twice since they met.

  The last occasion was when, unbeknown to them, they would never see each other again.

  It was poignant as well as upsetting.

  ‘Why bring me back here?’ Flora asked, leaning forward to look into his eyes. ‘It could bring back a traumatic memory.’

  He was just sitting back in his chair, looking at her. She was radiating something, he couldn’t quite figure out what.

  ‘You’re doing that strong silent thing again,’ Flora sighed, looking at the plastic covered menu before glancing around. ‘Funny how time can make something unfashionable, fashionable again.’

  He looked around at the array of newbies sitting and eating. The place had turned into somewhere you had to have Sunday breakfast. Then he looked at Flora, who was now examining him closely.

  ‘I don’t eat meat much but I like eggs,’ she grinned before touching his hand. ‘Can I do this?’ Ed looked down as her fingers stroked his. ‘I’m not sure what the deal is.’

  Again he smiled then let out a little sigh before leaning forward and catching his lips with hers.

  ‘That’s the deal,’ he whispered. ‘Sealed with a kiss.’

  ‘I don’t want to cause any problems for you.’

  ‘You’re not.’

  ‘With Matias.’

  ‘It’s none of his business.’

  ‘Your girlfriend?’

  ‘I’m free to do what I like.’

  ‘You told me that many years ago and, now we know, that wasn’t the truth.’

  A little numbness constricted his throat, seeing Flora was very unsure. Taking his fingers, he traced the length of her jaw, stopping under her chin. Ed didn’t want to make any promises he couldn’t keep.

  ‘I know it’s going to be difficult for us to see each other, with your children and my business. I’ll try to see you as much as I can. If you can’t get hold of me, it will be down to two things. I’m busy with work or I’ve forgotten my phone, which I constantly do. My ideal situation would be to see you every day but that would prove difficult.’

  ‘I’ll take whatever time you’ve got. It’s better than nothing. This time, a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know you were still kicking around.’ Flora laughed, grabbing his face with her hands. ‘And now I know you are, well, that’s just perfect.’

  ‘It’s not the same as when we were teenagers,’ he said seriously. ‘We’re adults.’

  ‘Yep!’

  ‘And we might have changed over the years and probably disagree on most things.’

  ‘It must hard to know you’re wrong most of the time,’ she cheekily grinned. ‘I know what you’re saying. It might not work. That’s a risk we have to take.’ Then Flora bit her lip. ‘Do you want to give us a go?’

  Ed didn’t know where it came from but he let out a loud laugh before realising Flora grimaced.

  ‘I see,’ she said, pulling away and sitting back in her chair. ‘That says it all.’

  ‘No it doesn’t say anything,’ Ed replied, trying to catch his breath. ‘Of course I want to give us a go as you romantically put it. I desperately want to have a go at you.’ She scrunched up her face in response to his comment. ‘You know what I mean.’

  ‘Probably.’

  ‘Flora, you know I like you. And I know you like me. Let’s see where it takes us.’

  ‘But what about your young girlfriend?’ she asked, rubbing her forehead. ‘I don’t believe in cheating, you do know that don’t you?’

  ‘I’m not cheating,’ he replied, not wanting to tell her anymore. ‘You’re not stealing me from someone else.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I’m certain,’ he replied starting to smile again before leaning forward and grabbing her hands. ‘Now, how will we manage to see each other? That’s the most important thing.’

  ‘I have the children two weekends on and one weekend off. Matias takes them Friday and Saturday night, returning them about three on Sunday. In the weekday, I’m a full time mother, other than school or fit camp.’ Flora looked sadly at him. ‘And the kids won’t take kindly to their mother seeing someone. I know what they’re like. I think they think they’ve lost their dad to a teenage woman.’ Once again her mask slipped and he could see how unsure she felt. ‘I told them I wouldn’t get involved in a relationship again.’

  Ed sat back in his seat and examined her very beautiful, sad face as she sipped her tea.

  ‘I don’t want to upset them. I know what it’s like to introduce new people to your children. God I tried. Eddie was always more co-operative but Amelia… she wasn’t taken by any of them and when she met Jessica? I thought my daughter was never going to speak to me again. I know it was too close to when Eddie passed away but I needed a focus and she worked.’

  ‘You wanted sex and a whirlwind romance to make you forget?’

  ‘I wanted something but it was me not facing up to my grief,’ he said, feeling the emotions rise to his chest. ‘I’m better now. Got my head sorted and can deal with the loss but there are moments when it looks bleak.’

  ‘That’s how I feel,’ she whispered, gulping hard. ‘I’m certain I’m well but, in the back of my mind, I worry. The people around me at the centre are surviving but then someone will pass away. I have a friend, Paulette, she’s going to die.’ There was pain etched across her face. ‘I can’t show her I’m upset. I know she thinks I should but I can’t.’

  ‘Why do you still do that thing about holding back your tears?’ he asked, peering into her face. ‘It’s not good. I should know. I tried it and then exploded. You exploded a few days ago at your ex.’

  ‘I have to apologise, don’t I?’

  ‘With me Flora, you don’t have to pretend. Be yourself, happy or sad, I don’t mind.’

  ‘But you’ll mind when I can’t physically commit to you, I know you will.’

  ‘I think,’ he said, pulling her closer. ‘You’re more than emotionally committed to me so we’re half way there.’

  ‘You think?’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘You have a glow,’

  … said Paulette, sitting in an art class. There were eight people present and Flora was trying to stop her friend from splashing yellow paint at all of them. ‘Has something happened?’

  ‘You’re going to change me into a canary if you don’t stop flicking your paint,’ she said, hiding behind a large piece of paper. ‘It’s going all over the place.’

  ‘I’m putting texture on it.’

  ‘Can you just paint normally?’

  ‘Why? You’re always telling me to express myself through art. I’m just doing it!’

  Flora glanced at Paulette, who continued to flick paint and could see she looked a little tired. Sitting down next to her, she checked on the rest of the class. Today they were playing Radio Two in the background which meant no one was doing any art, they were just listening to the old tunes and gossiping.

  ‘If I tell you something, don’t comment,’ Flora whispered.

  ‘You kissed him
?’

  ‘Is it that obvious?’ she whispered back, trying not to frown.

  ‘You look, I don’t know how to describe it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You look happy. It’s an expression I rarely see.’

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘No, that’s right. The only other time you look happy is when you’re talking about Lola and Max, oh, and when you’re cussing up your ex.’ Flora smiled and shook her head before letting out a heavy sigh. ‘What’s the problem?’

  ‘I can’t take it any further and I told him that.’

  ‘Who said you can’t?’

  ‘I said.’

  ‘On what authority?’

  ‘I…’ Flora looked at Paulette’s questioning expression. ‘Because if I take my clothes off, give myself to him, he may not want me. He might have to do me to prove a point.'

  ‘‘Do you’?’ she started to laugh. ‘And who said romance was dead?’

  ‘He might think he has to make love to me but, deep down, his stomach would be churning because of my scars. Ed’s a nice guy. He’d be too polite to refuse.’

  ‘I think that’s you making excuses. I believe you’re the one who is scarred by this and it’s not on your breasts. It’s in your brain.’ Paulette put down her paintbrush and turned to Flora. ‘Have you seen my body? The amount of scars? But it’s me. It’s my war wounds to show that I’ve been through it. Soon I won’t have to endure any more pain and that will mean neither will my family or friends.’

  Flora was about to open her mouth but couldn’t speak.

  She knew Paulette had prompted what she was going to say.

  ‘I know it will hurt them when I pass,’ she said, gently touching Flora’s hand. Immediately, Flora started doing her breathing exercise to control her tears. ‘And it hurts me more to see someone like you, who has a whole future ahead, not want to live. That saddens me the most. Flora, you went through an awful time, we all did. You found out the hard way that the man who you thought loved you didn’t. Now you’ve picked yourself up and have a chance of finding happiness. Don’t push Ed away because of what you feel. Embrace the man. I’ll certainly embrace him when I get a chance.’