Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  Ed got up and kissed her, tasting her mouth with his tongue and sniffing her face.

  He was elated.

  His phone started to ring, so he pulled away and reached out noticing Flora look shyly at him.

  It was Lee.

  ‘I better get this,’ he said, walking away and going into the study, closing the door. ‘Hello.’

  The first thing he thought was to swear at the man but he remembered what Harry had said and kept it in.

  ‘Sorry I didn’t call you back,’ he said cheerfully. ‘Am I interrupting one of your hot and sweaty evenings?’

  ‘I can’t talk but I want to meet up.’

  ‘Sure. When?’

  ‘What about Wednesday evening for a quick drink? Come and pick me up after work. I need to speak to you about something. Is that okay?’

  ‘I have to get back home for eight. I’ve been out a few nights, you know what I mean.’ Ed figured he was playing around, something Lee did far too often. ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘It’s great,’ he replied, knowing what was on the other side of the door. ‘A few beers and a catch up would be good. See you then.’

  Ed hung up and thought hard on how he would have to handle his friend.

  He walked to the door and then grinned before whispering,

  ‘She loves me.’

  When he stepped out, she wasn’t in the living room and looked about. Ed walked upstairs and found her sitting on the mattress, looking at something.

  Then he noticed the box.

  ‘What’s that?’ he asked, sitting down next to her.

  ‘Do you recognise this?’ she said, holding the box up. ‘It’s okay if-.’

  ‘Of course I recognise it.’

  ‘I kept it all these years. All my special memories are in here. I even kept the sketch book.’ She flicked through it and when he put his hand out to look, Flora shook her head and put it to her side. ‘My special memories.’

  ‘About what you said downstairs,’ he whispered, pulling back her hair as she looked at him. ‘I care about you a lot but I don’t like to rush into anything.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘Right now you have other things to deal with and so do I.’

  ‘That’s okay. I just wanted you to know, just in case.’

  ‘Just in case what?’

  ‘Just in case I never get round to saying it again.’

  ‘You will,’ he said, pushing her back onto the bed and letting his hands ride up her thighs. ‘In exactly fifteen minutes.’

  ‘I love you!’

  … she screamed out, when he buried his mouth between her legs, her orgasm taking over her body, making her shake and shiver with delight. ‘God I love you!’

  Flora knew Ed was right about her saying it again.

  He kept asking her to repeat it.

  Both his hands were on her breasts, gently squeezing her nipples.

  For a moment, she wanted to take off her bra to feel his skin against hers but she didn’t want to spoil the moment.

  It was too early for it to end.

  Ed slowly got up and walked out of the bedroom. She could see the hair between his thighs as he opened the door. Flora thought about just sleeping on the mattress from now on, especially when she could get a better look at his body.

  She closed her eyes and heard her own heavy breathing, the spasm of her swollen lips and throbbing nub, wanting him to touch her again. Then she shivered from the aftermath of her ecstasy, knowing he was doing everything to please her.

  And she loved it.

  She loved him.

  When he walked back in, bollock naked with a large erection, he just smiled. There was no cover on her lower half, she just had on the sports bra. Looking down, it wasn’t the sexiest piece of underwear.

  ‘I have other bras,’ she said, watching him sink slowly to the floor and kiss her.

  He’d sloshed with mouth rise to probably get rid of the taste of her juices. Flora wondered if she didn’t taste good. That was another question for another time. But she never enjoyed kissing anyone after they went down on her though Matias insisted on it.

  ‘I think it’s nice,’ he said, stroking her breast. ‘Very sturdy.’

  ‘Nice,’ she grinned. ‘Underneath isn’t so sturdy but they bounce up a bit more.’

  ‘I’ve felt breasts implants before.’

  ‘I wanted these to feel as real as possible. I didn’t go up a cup size, I stayed the same.’

  ‘Weren’t you tempted to make them larger?’ Ed asked, looking at them, holding the covered breast in his hand. ‘I think they look great. Suits you.’

  ‘I don’t heal well with scars and it shows. I have a scar just above my left nipple and that’s why I don’t wear low tops.’

  It felt odd, talking about her breasts.

  He just looked at them, full of curiosity.

  ‘I don’t want to keep on saying it but it doesn’t matter to me. I know it matters to you.’ Ed kissed her again, still his hand on her breast. ‘You just don’t walk out on someone because something changes physically about them.’

  ‘Visit the centre. It’s not uncommon for marriages and relationships to breakdown because of cancer. You hear about the partners sticking by them but there are many who just can’t handle their loved ones being ill.’ Flora noticed he frowned. ‘Paulette helped me understand that. But it doesn’t mean to say I’m still not angry with him for making me feel like this.’

  ‘Then it’s a good thing he’s going away,’ Ed said and for the first time Flora noticed he seemed angry. ‘I could kill him for saying all this shit to you. Doesn’t he know what you’re like?’

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘I know you better than you think.’

  ‘No one does,’ she laughed. ‘Not even me.’

  ‘I’ll rephrase. I want to confirm what I know about you already, Flora Almeida.’

  ‘And what’s that?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later.’

  He kissed her gently again on the lips and then slid on top of her, stroking her side before gently touching her face. Ed rested on his elbow and smiled.

  It dawned on her she shouldn’t have mentioned the ‘L’ word because now he could use and abuse her, before casting her aside. She’d left herself wide open to be rejected.

  ‘You’re doing that again,’ Ed whispered into her cheek. ‘Thinking very hard and changing your expressions.’

  ‘I’m just an idiot.’

  Flora knew that she was trying to force his hand when there was no reason to.

  He had every right to walk away from her after having sex.

  Every right to ignore what she just said because why should he feel the same way?

  It had been twenty-five years ago and it was, effectively, a one night stand.

  Flora let out a disgruntled groan and Ed laughed.

  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything to you. When I’m with you it just comes out from the top of my head. I don’t think. I never wear my heart on my sleeve. I usually use that to wipe my nose.’

  The strong silent Ed stared back at her with a half-smile.

  He kissed her, quite hard. She figured he wanted her to be quiet. And she let him take her over and submitted to every touch. There was nothing to lose.

  Only him.

  Eventually.

  He grabbed her thighs and placed them either side of his hips before kissing her face gently. Flora felt his back and then his smooth arse. She wanted him to just fall into her arms and stay there.

  Then she thought that, never in a million years, could she have imagined someone would be making love to her or having sex, depending on what they thought.

  And that man would be Ed Carter.

  The one and only.

  It took a couple of seconds for her to realise he was watching her.

  She stopped thinking.

  ‘Everything okay?’ she asked and he smiled before nodding slowly. ‘Are you sure?’

  His mouth
smothered hers and his touch started to get firmer, squeezing and caressing her body. His end was budging towards her hole and she looked at him.

  Their bodies were tightly wrapped around each other then he moved closer and she felt him start to move inside.

  Gasping, Flora looked at him and felt his girth fill her up then move backwards and forwards, again and again, all the time very slowly.

  Ed was just watching and she tried to keep her eyes open but she couldn’t. Closing them due to the intimacy and heat, the mattress banging against the skirting board and her thighs parting wider to feel his deep thrust.

  Her mouth traced his shoulder and she smelt his warm skin. She would have cried if she could but she was just so very happy.

  ‘Go with the flow, Flo, just go with the flow,’ he whispered as she closed her eyes and followed the current laps of his body, falling deeper into his river of love.

  ‘I feel wonderful!’

  … Ed said late on Wednesday afternoon to Edna, who was standing in his doorway. She was smiling but it looked more like a grimace of genuine concern. ‘The world is great and that’s all that matters.’

  ‘Are you having a breakdown? Do I need to call your father or mother?’

  ‘No you don’t need to call my parents. I’m fine.’

  ‘Considering your brain is all over the place I’m surprised we got any new business.’

  ‘We’re doing amazingly well,’ he sighed.

  ‘Are you sure you’re alright.’

  ‘I’m amazing, thanks.’

  He spun on his chair and stopped to look at the view from his window. The large tree was letting some of the sunshine through and he could see small clouds in the blue sky.

  The whole world was beautiful and so was Flora.

  They’d spent three days and nights together.

  Making love, talking and laughing.

  Eating, drinking and making more love.

  And every time they made love, it got better.

  Flora was letting go of all her inhibitions other than her sports bra but Ed was working on that.

  It didn’t bother him. He just wanted to feel her naked body against his and a majority of the time he did. It was when he tried to manoeuvre under the bra she froze and he knew it was too early for him to tell her otherwise.

  The seed had been firmly planted in her head that he would reject her, he knew it.

  The next time he’d see her was at his mother’s party, which he had to persist with Noreen not to make it into a double celebration because it was his birthday the following week.

  He knew she’d still arrange a cake to embarrass him.

  A whole week without Flora was way too long.

  He rang her.

  ‘Hello Ed,’ she said and his heart melted. ‘Simon was here and he said he’s nearly finished. You better pay him.’

  ‘I wish I could be there instead but he doesn’t start back at college for another few weeks so I’ve been told he has to work for me.’ Then he sighed. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you.’

  ‘Me too.’

  Ed smiled then looked to his side.

  Lee was standing by Edna’s desk, chatting.

  He’d forgotten about their plan to meet.

  In all fairness, Ed had lost the plot about most things that week, prompting Edna to think he was having some sort of breakdown.

  ‘I better go,’ he said, turning his back on Lee.

  ‘What do you want me to get you for your birthday?’

  ‘Just you.’

  ‘That’s sweet but you can get that whenever you want.’

  ‘Within reason,’ he laughed. ‘I better go. I’ll text or call or just think about you.’ Then he heard Max shouting and Lola started to join in. ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘Their father broke the news about going to live in Argentina for a while and then said he was getting married by the end of the year. To bribe the kids even more, he’s promised them a trip anywhere they want if they agree. I know Matias. He knows they won’t see eye to eye but I’m trying to help.’

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Put it this way, they’re not going anywhere but his wallet is,’ she laughed. ‘Oh well, back to the battleground.’

  ‘You haven’t said it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You know what?’

  ‘I’m not saying it again. I said it enough.’ She went silent. ‘And yes, I do love you. I always have. I just had to wait an eternity to see you again, that’s all.’

  ‘Flo,’ was all he could say.

  She had a way of saying things that made his soul twist and leave him speechless

  He wanted to tell her the same but, right now, he had another problem to deal with.

  ‘Don’t forget,’ he eventually said. ‘I’ll see you at the party then you’re coming back to mine. Don’t pack any knickers, you won’t need them.’

  He heard her laugh and that made him smile.

  ‘See you on Friday,’ Flora said and hung up.

  Putting his mobile away, he gestured Lee to come in.

  Even seeing him, he remembered how lecherous he was about Flora back at school. Most women to be exact but her more than anyone else.

  Or maybe it was Ed who had noticed it with Flora, he wasn’t quite sure.

  His gut turned, knowing what Lee had done to her.

  How his old school friend, who lied about seeing Flora, then tried to take her in a disgusting and appalling way.

  Ed knew he couldn’t show what he felt.

  ‘Who were you talking to?’ Lee asked, greeting his friend with a handshake and hug. ‘Was that Emily?’

  ‘It was someone.’

  ‘You’ve broken up with Emily or are you seeing two women at the same time?’ Lee grinned. ‘It’s doable.’

  ‘That’s not my thing,’ he said, looking as Lee shrugged a response. ‘And it shouldn’t be yours. I told you, your missus will find out then you’re dead.’

  ‘It’s fun and no-one’s getting hurt,’ he innocently replied. ‘I’m safe and it only happens when I go away. I’m not having an affair. What’s there to say?’

  ‘Adultery?’

  ‘Can’t spell it so I don’t really care,’ he laughed before letting out a long sigh. ‘What are you doing for your birthday? Want to go out for a few drinks to celebrate?’

  ‘I’ll think of something,’ he said, knowing he wanted to spend the day with Flora. ‘It’s no big deal.’

  ‘Heading towards middle age is a big deal,’ Lee laughed and Ed smiled back, seeing Edna wave as she left the office. ‘Come on! I need a drink.’

  He walked out of the offices followed by Lee and breathed in the fresh air. As he turned he noticed Lee was thinking hard.

  ‘Why did you want to meet?’ Lee mumbled, stepping closer.

  Ed knew he had to say it. He had no choice.

  ‘I wanted to ask you about Flora,’ he said, seeing Lee’s eyes widen.

  ‘Not this shit again.’

  ‘You’ve been pretty harsh about her. What did she do that hurt you so much?’

  Lee looked at him, straight in the eye, not answering. He seemed confused, then angry before turning upset.

  ‘I really liked her,’ Lee eventually replied. ‘But she never had eyes for me.’ Then he glared at Ed. ‘Only you or didn’t you realise?’ Ed examined his friend’s face and wondered if he knew. ‘Every time she walked past, she’d glance over and then look away. I saw but you never noticed. I knew she was wasting her time and even when you asked about her in Brighton, I wondered what you were up to.’

  ‘I wasn’t up to anything. I just wanted to know.’

  ‘Why? You never told me why?’

  ‘Because…’ Ed closed his eyes before looking at Lee. ‘Listen, did you do anything to her?’

  ‘What did she say?’ he asked quietly, stepping forward. ‘Don’t believe anything that comes out of her mouth.’

  ‘You weren’t together, were you? I asked her
and she told me something else.’

  ‘She asked about you all the time. How you were, if you were happy. I knew then she still fancied you. And you know what? She was really unhappy but I put that down to being homesick. Maybe it was something else. Was it?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ he replied, starting to walk away.

  ‘Did you fuck her?’ Lee shouted out and Ed stopped. ‘Were you the one that made her frigid?’ Now he was put on the spot. He didn’t know what to say. So he turned and noticed Lee was angry. ‘Why can’t you just tell me?’

  ‘I made love to Flora and wanted to be with her. I never told anyone else but the day afterwards Diane told me she was pregnant. I didn’t meet Flora again until I turned up on her doorstep weeks ago, nearly twenty five years later. And you want to know something? I beat myself up about never telling her what happened. She thought I never wanted her.’

  The horror on Lee’s face spread with great speed.

  ‘You bastard!’ Lee said, stepping closer. ‘Why do you have to get everything?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

  ‘You get all the women you want, the life, the freedom and you got her as well. I was in love with Flora but she kept pushing me away. In Brighton I literally begged her to be with me but she just ran. Then, out of the blue, I’m told she’s moving to London. Flora was going to leave me and I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong.’

  ‘You were in love with her?’

  ‘I turned up at the house she was living at and asked her to marry me,’ Lee laughed, shaking his head as if it was a big joke but Ed could see the anger behind the eyes. ‘I had no intention of ever going through with it but I wanted to see what she’d say.’

  ‘She said ‘no’ again and again but you wouldn’t listen.’

  ‘I sucked on her tits and put my hand on her pussy,’ he whispered angrily, stepping so close their bodies were only millimetres apart. ‘I wanted to fuck her so much, to show her how I felt whether she wanted it or not.’

  ‘You’re a screwed up fuck, do you know that?’ Ed said, pushing him away and seeing some of the people from his company looking over in his direction. ‘You tried to rape her.’

  ‘What does it matter? It was years ago and she’d have probably liked it.’

  Ed threw the punch.

  It had been building up in his fist.