I Still Hate You

by Marie Skye

  “I did care about you—”

  “Did. You did care about me, not do.” I stood up because this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere. It would take years of talking and therapy. “I’ll consider donating what you need, but not because you asked, or because Gerald asked. But because I would rather show you that I am nothing like you.”

  I didn’t wait for her to respond as I turned and left.

  I didn’t even bother taking a car service back to work. I needed the walk to let off steam. But that wasn’t enough. Getting my phone out of my purse, I texted Ash.

  Me: Are you busy?

  Ash: Not really. About to start a lunch meeting.

  Me: Where?

  Ash: Flames. I hate the food here.

  Good enough for me. It was five minutes away.

  26

  Ash

  “That’s definitely something I could take into consideration.” The couple in front of me looked to each other and both smiled as they wrote notes down. I just happened to look up and saw Perrie at the door looking around the room. She was flushed but had a look of determination about her. She finally made eye contact with me and headed right over. Oh shit. This was going to be either good or bad.

  “Ash, I am so sorry to bother you and your guests, but it’s urgent. If I could get just a few minutes of your time.”

  I looked to the couple in front of me before standing up. “Excuse me. Please go ahead and order.”

  I followed Perrie out of the restaurant, the blast of cold hitting me in the face. I had to run to keep up with her. “Where are we going?” She didn’t answer me, but finally turned down an alley. She stopped abruptly behind a dumpster and grabbed my shirt, untucking it from my pants.

  “Fuck me.” I grabbed her hands to stop her. “Ash, fuck me.”

  “What’s going on, Perrie?”

  “Are you going to fuck me or do I have to find someone else?”

  I shoved her against the brick wall, my arms caging her on both sides. “Are you threatening me that someone else will fuck this pussy? I don’t know where you got the audacity but you better take that shit back. On your knees. Now.”

  I didn’t even wait. I was already shoving her down to her knees as I took my dick out my pants. She barely had time to breathe before I gripped her head and shoved my cock as deep as I could go. I grabbed both sides of her hair and fucked her mouth as if it were her pussy. The gagging was music to my ears as I went harder, not even giving her a chance to breathe.

  “You want to say that shit to me again?” I held myself all the way in, her eyes tearing up as she struggled to breathe. “I asked you a fucking question!” She quickly shook her head before I pulled all the way out. “That’s what I fucking thought.” I raised her to her feet and turned her to face the wall. I lifted her skirt, not even caring I partly ripped it. “Is this what you want? For me to fuck you like a whore?”

  I didn’t wait for a response and didn’t even bother to check to see if she was wet. Spitting on my fingers, I rubbed my cock before I pulled her hips back and thrusted hard. She yelped before moaning. Covering her mouth with one hand, I started fucking as if I was punishing her. And maybe I was. Punishing her for making me do this two weeks fuckery shit. Punishing her for making me fall in love with her and punishing her for even remotely thinking of fucking someone else. My other hand went to her clit. She tried screaming against my hand. Yes, I was aware we were in public. Yes, I was aware that anyone could see what we were doing, and maybe they were, but right now I wasn’t exactly interested in giving a shit what anyone else thought. I gave one last hard thrust before I stilled and slumped against her.

  She looked over her shoulder at me, eyes completely glazed over in that post-orgasmic bliss. I muttered a curse as I ran my hand through my hair before tucking myself in. I made sure to put her skirt down, cursing when I realized where the rip was. Taking off my suit jacket, I wrapped it around her. “It’ll have to do.”

  She smiled looking down at it. “I like it. Thanks.”

  She started to move away from the wall but I stopped her and pressed my head against her, just breathing her in. She softly sighed against me and the rage I had before started to consume me again. I pushed away from her. “Fuck, Perrie.”

  She gave me a questioning look. “What? What did I do?”

  I shook my head. She had no idea what she did. She fucked me up, that’s what she did. I loved her. Not just now but all those times we were together years ago. “I have to go back to my clients. I’ll see you later.” I turned my back and walked back down the alley before she had a chance to respond.

  27

  Perrie

  Since that time in the alley, Ash has been different. We had two days left in our arrangement at that time and the only thing he’s done so far was spend no more than ten minutes with me, going over what he thought I achieved from our little session.

  When the final day arrived, he came to me and said, “Congrats, it was great working with you. You’ll do well.” That was it, as if it was a business transaction. The true end was confirmed when I came home from lunch and another girl was sitting on the couch.

  I couldn’t even decide how I was supposed to feel. Hurt? Used? Angry? None of it mattered because I didn’t have the right. I headed to my favorite lunch spot to meet Beth since she wanted a play-by-play of how it went.

  “Well, don’t keep me waiting.”

  I sipped my tea. “It was good, lots of insight.”

  She stared at me and crossed her arms. “Lots of insight?”

  “Yeah, I mean pretty much what you told me. It was good, he was good, the sex,” I paused thinking of all the sex, “was very surprising and the best part of course.” I sipped my tea again. When I looked back at Beth, she was legit looking at me as if I had grown two heads.

  “Sex?”

  I laughed. “Yes, Beth, the sex. You know, it’s natural.” I said her words back to her.

  “You and Ash had sex?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Beth, we had sex!” I said a little too loudly. I looked around the cafe and a lady with her two young sons scowled at me as if I just ruined their entire childhood.

  “Perrie,” Beth said calmly, a little too calmly. “Ash and I never had sex.”

  I paused, my teacup in midair. “Sure you did, you said you did.”

  “No, what I said was we talked about what I liked and didn’t like sexually. I never once said we had sex. That’s not part of the package.”

  I stared at her almost in disbelief. “No, you said…” I didn’t even finish the sentence as I searched my memory. “You two had a contract, right?”

  “Of course, but nothing on it was about us having sex.” She laughed. “Ash doesn’t have sex with his clients, that would be ridiculous. But maybe it’s an add-on service,” she quickly rushed out.

  Yeah... an add-on service.

  28

  Ash

  I was staring at the map, trying to decide my next conquest, when the door opened and slammed, practically shaking the apartment. I looked up as Perrie walked in, hands on her hips like she was on a mission to kill something or someone.

  “Ashley, can I talk to you?”

  She used my actual name. Nope, I definitely didn’t want to talk. I slowly stood up, mostly because I had height on her, and with her being mad, it would make her even more feisty. “I’m going to say no, mostly based off your demeanor right now. You look a little pissed.”

  “Cut the shit, Ashley. We had sex.”

  I stared at her, she stared back. “Was that a question or—”

  “We had sex!”

  “Very good, Perrie, we had sex... multiple times.”

  “But you don’t do you? Have sex with your clients.”

  I laughed. “No, of course not.” I mirrored her and crossed my arms as well. “Why are you telling me something you already knew?”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”


  “Ash!” She threw her hands up. While I understood she was frustrated and most likely wanted to castrate me for reasons I’m not sure of yet, it was still cute to fuck with her. And why not? I had time.

  I stopped her from going any further. “Look, Perrie, you said I didn’t tell you, but I did tell you what I didn’t do with my clients. Maybe you only heard what you wanted to hear.” I stepped so close to her we were flushed together. “And let’s not forget, I wanted to fuck you, just like you wanted to fuck me. So, we both got what we wanted, didn’t we? Or did your pussy already forget?”

  I headed toward my room before she could even think of a response. “I’m going out tonight. Maybe it’ll do you some good to do it too. You look like you need a drink.”

  29

  Perrie

  That son of a bitch. He was right, but he was still a son of a bitch. He was definitely right about needing a drink. I took out my phone. I would call up Claire. I would call up Beth, hell I would even call up Barb!

  Whoa.

  Whoa.

  Whoa.

  Let’s not get crazy.

  I opened my closet to the dress in the very back I never wore. Well, since Ash supposedly gave me confidence, let’s see if his teachings worked.

  30

  Ash

  “Another round!” I motioned to the server.

  “Yo, Ash, isn’t that your roommate?”

  I licked the salt in between the tits of the bleach-blonde girl before shooting back my tequila. Which let’s be honest, I was only doing to not have to taste her skin. I took the lime she had in between her teeth as I welcomed the heat coursing through me. I finally turned to Isaiah. “Where?” He pointed and I scanned the crowd. No Perrie anywhere, not that her ass would even come out.

  “Nah, I don’t see her man.” I started to focus my attention back to the blond when Eric nudged me.

  “It sure as hell is.”

  I sighed getting ready to tell them both they were wrong and to fuck off when I froze. She was here, she was actually here. But the most important question is what the hell was she wearing... or not wearing?

  Some guy was standing in front of her, talking to her, and I couldn’t help but notice how he kept touching her. I started to get up but quickly remembered I was blocked in. I saw him whispering in her ear, and another guy walked up to her and pointed toward our table. The next thing I knew, they were both headed our way.

  “Hey, Pear bear.” She rolled her eyes when I called her that. “Who’s your friend?” I nodded toward the fuckface standing next to her. He had the nerve to pull her tighter to him.

  She turned to him. “This is Kel. We just met, actually.”

  I stared at them. I stared at them hard. “Oh! This is my song!” The blonde I forgot that was even sitting next to me started to move out of the booth and grabbed my arm. “Come on, dance with me.” I made no move to acknowledge her. “Dance with me,” she said again, this time making a show of pushing her tits out while whining. I waved her off, and she sulked to the dance floor. I pointed to the empty seat now next to me and Perrie and her new friend sat down.

  “I’ve never been here,” Perrie said before sipping her drink.

  I ignored her and looked over her instead. “Kel? As in like the green leafy vegetable that tastes like ass?”

  Perrie sputtered on her drink before nudging me in the side. “What is wrong with you? Be nice.” Oh, I’ll be nice. I’ll be really fucking nice.

  “It’s okay. I’ll get you another drink, okay?” Kel didn’t wait for her to answer as he kissed her cheek and got up to flock through the crowd.

  She turned to me. “What is your problem?”

  I ignored her again, looking her up and down. “What are you wearing?”

  “What do you think? I’ve had it and figured why not; it’s just collecting dust in the closet.” It had a V-neck that went down to her navel, not to mention it was so short, I’m sure if anyone tried, they could see her pussy. She rolled her eyes as she looked out to the people on the dance floor. “It’s not even that short.”

  The hell it wasn’t. “It was short enough for assface to come on to you.”

  “Isn’t that the whole point of what we’re doing? To get me more confident and out there. Isn’t that what you said? Wasn’t that the purpose of our sessions?”

  How the fuck dare she? Who the fuck did she think she was to use my words against me? I got closer to her face. “Not when you decide to dress like a whore!”

  I froze

  She froze.

  It felt like the whole damn club froze since that was the exact moment the music stopped playing. That was also the moment fuckface decided to bring his ugly ass face around and set two drinks on the table. Neither Perrie nor I said anything as we just stared at each other, breathing hard.

  I fucked up.

  She stood up, took her drink and threw it in my face. I should’ve expected that. What I didn’t expect was the slap that followed, which made the sting worse because of the ice she just threw in my face. She turned to Kel and took his drink from him and downed it. She wiped her mouth before glaring at me. “Come on, Kel, let’s go back to my place.”

  My eyes widened at what she just said.

  I fucked up.

  I royally fucked up.

  31

  Ash

  Despite what she said, Perrie didn’t come home that night, nor the next night either. By then, I was getting anxious. Each call went directly to voicemail, each text went unanswered, then before I knew it, any texts I did send, immediately came back as Not Delivered. She blocked me, she fucking blocked me.

  I was just about to call around again for the third time when the front door opened and shut. Perrie walked right in, heels in hand, still in the same dress from the other night. She glanced at me barely, as I held out my cup of juice to her as some sort of a peace offering. I wondered if she was still mad at me. Her eye roll was beyond distinctive as she went to her room and slammed the door behind her.

  I guess no juice then.

  I went over to her door and knocked, when she didn’t answer I knocked louder. “Perrie, come on.” I knocked again and even tried the doorknob.

  Locked.

  “Perrie, I’m sorry, okay? I am, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said to you. I was being an ass I know.” I banged and still it went unanswered. “It wasn’t you, it wasn’t the dress, it was… me.” I found myself admitting the truth. It was me. She looked hot as hell in the dress, but me being a jealous prick and seeing how other men reacted, made me well… jealous. I didn’t want her to wear it for them, I wanted her to wear it for me. I slid down the door and banged again.

  Nothing.

  After what felt like hours, she finally opened the door and I fell back. She gave me a look of disgust as she stepped over me. I hadn’t even noticed it was nighttime. I stood up going to her. “Perrie, I—”

  “Stop. Just stop. I’m going to work. I highly encourage you to not be here where I can see you when I get back. Okay? Thanks.”

  32

  Ash

  This is exactly why I don’t date. Women are complicated. The moment I develop feelings for one of them, I go and fuck things up somehow.

  “Wing me.”

  I looked over at Eric and handed him the container of wings. I swear to God, he was like a man child—face and fingers just full of sauce. I couldn’t even think of a good reason as to why I was even friends with him. He wanted to come over and get his ass kicked in a few games.

  He was staring at something on his laptop. “Eric, are we playing Fortnite or not?”

  “No can do, it’s almost showtime.”

  I reached for the last slice of pizza. “The hell are you watching, man?” I peered over Eric’s shoulder briefly, already bored with whatever he was doing.

  “Any minute now, she’s going to take off the sweater. They turn the heat up to where it’s almost unbearable.” He laughed as he focused on his screen. I checked my phone
, still no messages from Perrie, not even one saying fuck you, which I would have happily accepted. I sent her another one, telling her I was sorry. Again.

  “Ash, you are one lucky son of a bitch.”

  I sighed as I glanced at Eric. He had to be the most annoying prick I’ve ever come across, and I’ve come across a lot of pricks. I’ll humor him, I have the time, apparently. “Why is that?”

  “Are you kidding?” He pointed to his screen as if it were obvious. “You get to see that every damn day. Please tell me you’ve hit that.”

  I stared at him, still not sure what the hell he was talking about. “What are you talking about?”

  “Your roommate. That body doesn’t stop does it?” Not only did I still not know what he was talking about, but I started to hate the way he was talking about Perrie. He started to say more but suddenly he cheered. “Yes, she removed the coat!” Then he looked at me. “How is she? I know you’ve had her; I mean look at her. Please tell me you’ve had her.” He gestured to his screen and I peered over his shoulder again to look at what he was talking about.

  I froze.