by Brenda Ford
“No new life for you,” I mutter knowingly. “You’re stuck in love with this guy.”
Knowing how wonderful our chemistry is just awful, knowing how good it would be to bring him inside and spend the night with him… well, it’s just overwhelming.
Without me even meaning for it to happen, my hand slides down my body towards the throbbing that Angelo left behind. If he isn’t going to satisfy me in real life, then he can do so in my imagination. At least that will be better than lying here and moping. Instead, I slip my eyes closed and imagine him with me, like he could have been, kissing me hard as we crash through the front door to my home. Our clothes peel off, shedding here there and everywhere, allowing me to really experience every inch of the electrical sensation that he has buzzing in me. All the way through me, every inch of my skin covered in goose bumps just for him.
“It’s you,” he tells me in between kisses. “It’s always been you. It couldn’t be anyone else.”
My head tilts back as my fingers become his, dipping in to the wetness in my panties and brushing along my soaking wet slit. I trace patterns over my clit, picking up the speed as I can imagine he would. He might seem under the thumb and brow beaten at the moment with Mandy, but I would allow him to be free, to control me, to love me however he wanted to. I want to know just what he has to offer me.
“Oh my God,” I rasp desperately as I feel the sensation of his mouth all over my throat, his fingers plunging deep in to me, the weight of his body on top of me. “Angelo, this is how it’s supposed to be.”
In my mind, he whispers endless words of love as he plunges deeper and deeper, his thrusting fingers hitting all the right spots as he does. He knows my body better than I know it myself and that feels wonderful. The chemistry that I’ve been feeling all night long between us intensifies ten-folds.
In between the images of us getting hot and heavy, sweaty and heady with lust, I get flashes of us laughing and joking together at the bar as well. The chat just flowed so easily between us since we haven’t had much communication before. It was as if we were old friends, proper friends, and I loved it. That’s what makes me like him even more. Knowing that we get along so well on top of everything else.
“Rachel, I want you,” he gasps into my ear. “I want to be inside of you.”
I arch my back, more than happy to give myself over to him, and he complies willingly. It might only be in my mind but I swear the sensation is different as I think about his steel rod sliding deep in to me. I let out a little scream followed by a whimper as he takes me. Softly at first, but slowly getting harder as the passion grips him. I see is face change, his expression contorts as the pleasure grips him, and of course that coaxes the orgasm from me as well. The pleasure builds as I flick my fingers faster and faster. A thick tension fills my whole body along with a fizzing heat as I drive myself further and further along, my heart hammering against my chest as I do.
This is how the night should have ended, I think desperately as it hit the edge, just before I fall. Me and him are supposed to be together. Tonight, has only proved that to me. Me and Angelo are fate.
Then I crumble and I really fall apart. I writhe desperately among the cool bed sheets as the pleasure tears my body in half. Everything that tonight has been building up to rockets through me and I yell out his name through the pleasure. Angelo’s name is the only thing on my tongue, and I can’t stop myself from screaming it out. His name is a part of him that belongs to me right now. I own it, and I don’t ever want to lose it. Since I can’t have him, that’s all I have plus the intense memory of his lips against mine.
I almost weep through the post orgasmic bliss. It isn’t the best feeling in the world. Because I’m alone, because the night didn’t turn out as I wanted it to. I just don’t know where I go from here, how I can ever claim happiness again. How can I survive the knowledge that he just doesn’t belong to me? I can’t wait forever.
My cell phone beeps, and I pathetically jump on it like it’s going to be Angelo, which of course it isn’t. He isn’t going to message me when he’s in the arms of his girlfriend, is he? Not a chance.
Sheri: Did you get home okay? Oh my God, Luke is amazing. I can’t wait to tell you all about him x
Despite myself, I do smile. It is nice to see my friend getting someone good in her life. I just hope and pray that he doesn’t turn out to be an asshole like the rest of them. I don’t want her heart shattered too.
Rachel: I’m home. Glad you got back okay. We’ll see each other soon so you can tell all xx
Sheri: He has a really nice single friend as well, so the double date is on. Luke showed me a picture and he’s hot. I think you will like him a lot. Best way for you to get over you know who xx
I honestly don’t think she saw me talking to Angelo, she was so wrapped up in Luke, and that’s the way I prefer it. I don’t need to make her angry at me for letting myself be vulnerable around him. I’m already annoyed at myself. I have thrown myself right in to torture tonight, so it can’t be a surprise that I got spat back out again.
Rachel: Sounds good. Looking forward to the double date already x
Chapter Ten
Angelo
Rachel has a really intense look in her eyes as she breaks apart from the kiss. She can’t move her head too far away from me because we’re in the tiny little dark alleyway I decided to pull her down in the heat of the moment, but that’s good. I want the heat of her body next to mine, I want to really feel her. I keep my hand possessively on her hips so she can’t go anywhere. It hasn’t been like this before, not even in the early days with Mandy, and there has to be a reason for that. I can’t let Rachel go anywhere until I know for sure.
“I want you,” she tells me seriously. “Right here, right now. I have wanted you for a very long time.”
With that, she slowly slides down my body, keeping her beautiful warm brown eyes fixed on mine the entire time. My heart thunders, my pulse racing and pounding through my body as she moves to her knees between my legs, almost in a slow-motion manner. I just can’t believe how wild this rock chick is. She’s utterly crazy and I fucking love it. This is exactly what I need, someone to remind me how fun I can be.
“Oh shit.” I nearly fall apart as she unbuckles my trousers, her eager fingers wanting to touch me. My cock lies stiff as a board against the material, needing to be touched, yearning to be pulled free. “Fuck, Rachel.”
She takes me between her soft fingers, stroking me gently, feeling me, trying to work out what I like. My fingers automatically knot up in her hair so I can keep her close to me while she strokes me. Her hand feels so good, it’s a surprise that I’m not falling apart already, exploding all over her arms and chest. I can barely hold it all in, but I’m just about managing it because I want to know what else this woman has to offer me.
“I’m going to taste you,” she breathes out, her hot breath tickling my length. “Do you mind?”
I can’t answer Rachel, she’s too much, so I just groan out in a mix of agony and ecstasy. This is enough for the stunning, sexy red head though, and he head comes towards me. At one point, I think I hear voices of other people walking alongside the alley way but that doesn’t bother me. I have this beautiful woman at my fingertips. One who it seems is really good for me. There is no chance I’m going to let her go.
“Oh fuck.” Her lips press against my cock first, as if she’s just testing the waters, but the kiss is enough to send my head spinning wildly. Especially as she grazing the tip, my most sensitive area. “Fuck, Rachel.”
“You like that?” she murmurs, now vibrating along me. Everything she does drives me wild.
“I do. I do. I want more,” I moan. “I need more. I need everything from you.”
She parts those gorgeous plump lips of hers and wraps her tight little mouth around me. I fit perfectly in there, almost as if she was made for me. I can’t stop myself from imagining her up on stage looking sexy as hell as she bangs away on those drums while she
bobs her head up and down me, taking all of me in.
“You’re too much,” I rasp, shuddering as the pleasure shoots through me. “You’re too good for me.”
Rachel is. She isn’t like Mandy, there is a real purity to her. But there’s also a devilish side of her as well. The rock and roll princess who threatens to corrupt me and tear my whole life apart. I don’t know which side of her I like best, but I do know that I want to bury myself deep inside of her right here in this alley way.
“Stand up,” I command in a booming voice. “I need to fuck you already, Rachel Weston.”
With a cheeky smile playing on her lips, she rises to her feet and turns away from me. With her front pressed up against the wall next to her, she peers over her shoulder at me and pokes out her sexy round ass. I’m left breathless, unable to even think straight as I run my hands underneath her skirt and I pull her panties down.
“Fuck me,” she growls as my hands get closer. “I want to feel your cock inside of me.”
Well, that is an offer that I definitely can’t refuse, so I grab her hips roughly and slide myself inside of her. Rachel’s wet heat surrounds me, pulling me in deeper, and I already know that I won’t be able to last long. Her body is too beautiful, too incredible, plus I already have the memory of her mouth around my cock…
But actually, my favorite memory from tonight is the kiss. My first kiss with Rachel. I can still feel it now, the electricity that circled between us as we kissed passionately. The emotions and desire I felt from her. That’s something I will never be able to forget no matter what happens. It was everything to me.
It’s the kiss that I think of as I explode deep inside of her, filling her with my seed. The kiss, the feelings, the life changing time that I have had with her tonight. I don’t know what will come next. Anything is possible, but I do know that nothing in my life will ever be the same again. She has changed me irrevocably…
“Huh, what?” A horrible bleeping sound wakes me from the most amazing dream ever. “What’s that?”
It takes me a couple of seconds to calm down the buzzing in my brain and the racing in my heart to realize that it’s my alarm ringing out and I have really been asleep. Rachel isn’t here. She never was. Now, I can recall it all. I left her behind in the alley way and I ran like a coward because the kiss was so wrong.
“Shit.” My head falls into my hands as I realize what an idiot I have been. I’ve hurt two people without meaning to. Mandy, for sure. I hurt her once by looking at her phone without permission and jumping to conclusions when it came to that message from her friend, and two by kissing Rachel…
“Fucking hell, Rachel.” She’s such a nice person. I really don’t want to upset her. She’s sweet and funny, kind too. An awesome girl in the ban with my brother. I like her a lot… but I shouldn’t have kissed her, no matter what. There’s no way that I should have allowed the mood to take me. People just don’t do that.
I’m a cheat, I tell myself, the seriousness of the words crushing down on me. I have cheated on the woman that I love. There is no excuse for that. Never ever. Even that we’re in a bad place right now. I shouldn’t have kissed anyone else. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not that person at all. I’m a horrible person.
I swing my legs around the side of the bed and push myself upwards, trying to shove any thoughts of Rachel and the really intense sex dream I just experienced from my mind. I can’t think about anything to do with another woman. I need to work out what I’m going to do about Mandy. She’s the one I should be focused on, the one who needs to be my priority. I guess if I’m going to do the right thing and tell my girlfriend.
My chest gets tight at the mere thought of telling Mandy about what I have done. She is going to be destroyed. She will tear me apart. I don’t know how I’m going to come back from it. I mean, what if that one moment of madness, that one kiss destroys something that I have had for years. A relationship and love that means so much to me. I can barely stand the thought of losing her, she’s just been a part of me for far too long.
“What are you going to say?” I ask myself as I walk in to the kitchen to get myself a coffee to wake myself up. “How the fuck are you going to make sure that Mandy doesn’t kill you?”
The guilt is almost overwhelming. It’s unbearable. I can’t hack it. It’s leaving me breathless and aching all over. The hang over doesn’t help. I probably should have steadied myself and only had a couple. I’m not the best when it comes to drinking at the best of times. Last night was definitely not the best of times.
“Urgh, I’m an asshole. An utter asshole. I don’t know how I’m going to live through this.”
I pick my cell phone up a couple of times, trying to work out if I’m ready to call her yet, but I keep putting it back down again, unable to form even a scrap of bravery. I feel a bit sick to my stomach…
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
At first, I think it must be in my imagination, but it quickly becomes clear that my cell phone is actually ringing. I panic, assuming that it’s Mandy and I’m going to be forced to confess even though I’m not ready yet… but it isn’t. It’s Wesley’s name on my screen which floods me with relief.
“Hello?” I answer curiously. “Everything okay, Wesley.”
“Not really.” His tone is curt and a little gruff. “I have found something out.”
“What are you talking about? What have you found out?”
“It’s about Mandy.” Those words make my blood run cold. “I did some research on your behalf. I know that you didn’t ask me too, but I’m worried for you, so I took the initiative.”
“What did you do?” I demand. “I don’t understand why you would do this, Wesley. This isn’t what you’re supposed to use your technology skills for. You’re supposed to… I don’t know. Not this.”
“I love you, Angelo. Of course, I am going to help you if I can. Whatever way I can.”
I rake my fingers angrily through my hair and say nothing. I don’t know what I can say to be honest. My brain is completely empty, I don’t have any words to this at all. It’s all too much on top of everything else.
“Well, Angelo, I wouldn’t be calling you if my research didn’t come up with anything. I would have just kept it from you. But I did find something out. I don’t like to tell you this, but she is with someone else. She has been for a long time. I don’t have any names for you, or anything like that, but your suspicions have been right all along. There has been someone else in her life. And not just for the last six months, but for a very long time.”
I have no words to that, it feels horrible. It’s like confirmation of the terror that I have been trying to ignore is correct… but then since I have slipped up and made a mistake as well, I guess I can see that. Yet, there is also the fact that Wesley hasn’t ever been that keen on Mandy. He hasn’t ever been out right rude to her, but to me it’s always been obvious that something isn’t quite right. He could be using this as an excuse…
“I don’t want to hear it,” I spit out in temper, taking my anger out on the wrong person. “I didn’t ask you to look into anything for me and I don’t want to deal with what you think you know, what you think you saw. Just keep out of my business, okay? I don’t need anyone’s help with this.”
I hang up, panting and desperate, right now hating the world. How messy can things get?
Chapter Eleven
Rachel
I would love to get my head in the game today, it would be amazing for me to just be able to focus on what’s happening around me. This is one of the most important band practices ever because we have a lot of gigs coming up and Gary is determined that we all really need to rehearse our new songs to death. I want to be here in the room with both of them but all I can really think about is Angelo and that kiss.
“What is going on with you two today?” Gary snaps again. “Neither of you are doing your best.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” I shake my head, knowing that it’s me fucking
everything up. The beat of the drums is what starts everything, and I can’t seem to make it work out. “I just need a moment. To gather my breath.”
I drop my drum sticks down and head towards the door. I really need to get the hell away from everyone and to take some deep breaths as well. Getting outside to get some fresh air is the best place for me…
“Rachel…” I’m not alone. I hear Alex coming after me. “It isn’t just you. Please don’t blame yourself.”
I spin around to see his desperate expression. Maybe he is messing up just as badly as me. “What’s going on with you?” I snap. “Why are you messing up today as well?”
“I just…” He hangs his head low and stuffs his hands into his pocket. I can’t remember the last time he looked so humble and sad. “I just can’t focus when my whole life is such a mess.”
I snort. “Huh, yeah, I know that feeling far too well. My life is in a fucking state.”
“What’s going on?” As soon as he asks this, I realize my mistake. I shouldn’t have said anything because this is the one person I can’t explain what’s going on to. Me and Alex might be friends, but his bond with his twin brother is going to be stronger than that. I will be the bad guy in this… I am the bad guy in this.
“I… it’s just a mess, that’s all. My love life is… complicated.”
He laughs, but without any mirth. “Well, if anyone can understand that, it’s me.”
I can’t help it, a rage burst through me. He is a part of my issue without even realizing it. If he could just take Mandy for good then all of my problems would be solved… well, maybe not but close enough. Alex and Angelo’s life would never be the same again, but I wouldn’t have her in my path anymore. I think that me and Angelo should be together, we should at least be allowed to give it a try, to see what we could be.
