Elf Puncher

by Simon Archer

  Opalid called out to us without pushing back the curtain, “Ten minutes ‘til the match.”

  I worked myself into an adrenaline surge. I walked around the small locker room, in an attempt to build up more energy and to still my racing thoughts.

  This was the moment. Here I was, waiting in an official MFL locker room, waiting to fight in an official MFL match. If only my parents could see me now. I wanted nothing more to have my dad there in the stands, seeing his only son accomplish something that no one had before him.

  The reminder that this whole thing was a lie, that we were tricking everyone into believing that I was something I wasn’t, pricked at the back of my mind. But I quickly shut down those doubts. Gerry and I had the routine down. I knew what to do once I got in there. I had the knowledge, the strength, and the skills to win this fight.

  “Five minutes ‘till the match,” Opalid reminded us in a sing-song voice.

  That was the whole point, wasn’t it? To prove to everyone that I could do this. Even with minimal magic, I could fight as well or if not better than all of those magical creatures.

  Fighting wasn’t just about the magic. It required technique and skill. That is what made the whole thing a sport. Not the spectacle or the entertainment factor. Sure, those may help the ratings, but that’s not why I wanted to fight. That’s not why I ever wanted to compete. I wanted to prove to them all that I was good enough.

  Now, in less than five minutes, I was going to get my chance.

  22

  For the first time, I heard the trumpet melody signaling the first fight right outside the locker room. It was live, real, and visceral. My body jittered with excitement. I thought about how my parents would feel, seeing me up in the ring. Their pride would beam through their smiles. They would shout my name along with the crowd as tears pricked at the edge of their eyes.

  With that image firmly in my mind, I smacked my gloves together and growled.

  “You ready?” Gerry said with a fierce expression.

  “I’ve been ready my whole life,” I replied, my voice low and gruff.

  “Yeah!” Gerry shouted.

  He bounced ahead of me and headed for the door. He held it open for me as I stomped out. My steps were long and determined as I headed for the arena. Gerry and I paused at the entrance to the arena though I couldn’t stay still. I jumped from foot to foot as the anticipation took hold of my nerves.

  “In the red corner, coming in at six foot five and two hundred fifty-five pounds, it’s Rico the Resilient!”

  Cheers went up in the stands, more for the excitement of the fight than for me. I knew that, since I wasn’t an established name, the crowd showed their support of the MFL as a whole. No one shouted my name as I entered, but I didn’t care. Hoots and hollers filled my ears as I approached the arena. The sound filled my soul and made my blood sing.

  As I stepped up and between the ropes to take my place in the red corner, Gerry slammed the ground of the ring to get my attention. I briefly glanced down at the gnome.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Do you know what you’re going to do to take this male down?”

  “Yeah,” I growled, “fight him.”

  “Not just fight him, Rico,” Gerry reminded me. “You gotta win. He likes to use his special move at the beginning to throw you off guard, so be ready for it.”

  A thought hit me as Gerry rattled off my opponent’s strategy. “What if I used mine right away?”

  “What? No!” Gerry said, shocked. “We planned to save it for when you really needed it.”

  “I don’t think that’s the right move with this guy,” I replied. “I want to surprise him like he tries to surprise others.”

  “It’s your fight,” Gerry relented. “Just make sure I see you… you know.” Gerry rubbed his nose in a casual gesture as if I needed reminding of our signal.

  I gave Gerry a nod and turned back to focus on the impending match. Dendril stood in the blue corner, looking smug. I sent him an intense glare. I would use that cockiness against him. If this male thought that he could take me down easily, well, he was in for a hell of a surprise.

  The ref called us both to the center of the arena. We approached, never losing eye contact.

  “Alright,” the elf referee said. “I want a fair fight. You know the rules. Nothing below the belt. No magic other than your special move. You only get to use your move once, so use it wisely. We will go eight rounds of three minutes until a knockout or time runs out. Understood?”

  Dendril grunted, and I copied the sentiment.

  “Good,” the ref said with a stiff nod. “Now, touch gloves.”

  I held out my gloves and expected Dendril to meet me. Instead, he shoved his gloves into mine, harder than necessary.

  “Save it,” the ref chastised as he spotted Dendril’s unnecessary aggression. Then, he raised his hand high in the air. “Now, fight!”

  The ref lowered his hand and scurried out of the way. A bell, not Gerry’s high-pitched voice, rang, but the eruption of cheers from the crowd nearly drowned it out.

  I put my hands up to block my face and aimed to get a good look at Dendril. He mimicked my move, presumably to do the same. The giant threw most of his weight forward onto his front foot. He favored his right side, and there was something off about his shoulder. The giant purposely kept it from me, using the majority of his body to block it. He had to be protecting a previous injury.

  Instantly, I knew how to take this male down.

  I rubbed a glove under my nose, making it look like I wiped away some sweat. Then, I started my count.

  After the designated ten, Dendril’s eyes grew wide with fear. The crowd hissed in surprise. Several ooh’s and ah’s burst forth like balloons popping. I knew Gerry’s illusion had taken effect, and I was invisible, free to move as I please.

  I went to work. First, I attacked under his elbows down at his side. The giant leaped out of the way after I got two jabs in. His head swiveled this way and that, trying to readjust his stance now that I was visible once more.

  My fists flew forward and attacked between his weakened block. The vibrations of each hit rippled up my arms, and I knew I landed every punch. Once I smacked him a couple of times in the face, I aimed for his guarded shoulder. One punch was all it took. I found the center of his injury and increased his pain by tenfold.

  Automatically, the giant let down his guard and held a gloved hand to the wound on his arm. He howled out in pain from the impact. I barely waited for his mouth to close, sparing him the mercy of a dislocated jaw as I wound up one last assault.

  I punched Dendril in the side of his head, open and ripe for the taking. His neck twisted beautifully, and the giant tumbled to the ground in a heap. As he giant crumpled, I stood over him, victorious.

  The wave of thunderous shouts overtook the arena. I couldn’t hear anything over the noise, but I saw the ref kneel over Dendril, slap the ground ten times for the final knockout count, and then get to his feet. The elf approached me and gripped my wrist. He held it high in the air, officially declaring me the victor.

  The cheers quickly turned into applause, and that’s when the chattering started. Money exchanged hands. Strategy was discussed. Creatures of all kinds talked about the lightning-fast knockout. The best part of it all was that they were talking about me.

  The ref released me, and I crossed back to my corner, where Gerry waited. He stood on my stool, and even with the height advantage, he still couldn’t look me in the eye. The gnome did, however, reach up and pull me down to his level with a surprising amount of strength.

  He surprised the hell out of me by yanking me forward and kissing me straight on the lips. Gerry made a dramatic sound to accompany the kiss and then held out his arms wide with glee.

  “You did it!” Gerry shouted. “You nailed it.”

  “I told you,” I said, “the special move right off the bat was the way to go.”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you that you were right lat
er,” Gerry said with a noncommittal wave.

  We managed to get back to the locker room, get me cleaned off from the sweat, but the adrenaline still remained. It helped me face the swarm of reporters and audience members that met us outside of the arena. Questions bombarded us like an onslaught of insects. They pecked and prodded, each trying to get through and get an answer from us.

  “Rico, tell us about your history?”

  “Where did you train?”

  “Was that your strategy going into this fight? Quick and dirty?”

  “Did you just want to get it over with?”

  “Rico! How did it feel to be up there?”

  This last question was the only one I could find a reasonable answer to. When we reached our apartment building, I turned to face the crowd of elves, all with their pressing questions.

  “It was the best minute of my life,” I replied honestly.

  Gerry pushed at my legs and ushered me into the building as a slew of questions followed in our wake.

  Within the safe haven of the locker room, I hollered my excitement. The adrenaline from the fight still surged through me, and I offered my shadow a couple of punches before Gerry or I said anything.

  “Did you see me out there, Gerry?” I asked, my words all in a rush. “Was it good? Was I good? It sure felt good.”

  “Yeah, Rico, I saw you,” Gerry said with a wide smile. “That first punch was a beauty, but I think I was the only one that.”

  “Oh, yeah, right,” I said, thinking a little straighter. “Well, I bet Dendril sure looked stupid, just jerking about as I hit him.”

  “I bet he did!” Gerry agreed with joy. He finally removed both of my gloves, and I flexed my fingers.

  “You made a fool out of him, no doubt about it,” a familiar voice said from the doorway.

  Panicked, Gerry and I immediately turned to look at the door. There stood a lean elf with a messy bundle of black hair and a goatee to match. He wore more robes than fit his slight frame, and all of them hung off exaggeratedly.

  “What are you doing in here?” Gerry said, instantly on the defensive.

  I smirked, recognizing the elf. “You just had to come to watch, didn’t you?”

  “What are you talking about?” Gerry said with a suspicious glance up at me.

  “Don’t you see it?” I gestured to the elf. “It’s Barth, you idiot.”

  At the mention of his name, Barth removed his wig and unrolled his beard. While his natural hair remained white, his iconic lengthy beard was now an oily black.

  “It must not be a very good disguise if you recognized me,” Barth commented disappointedly.

  “You fooled Gerry,” I offered as a consolation prize.

  “Well, it’s not like it’s hard to do that,” Barth grimaced.

  “Hey!” Gerry shouted as he stuck his hands on his hips. “That wig threw me off.”

  “So, which one of you had the brilliant idea to use the special move right away?” Barth asked as he spun the wig in his hands.

  I raised my hand right when Gerry raised his. I huffed and shot the gnome a glare. Gerry rolled his eyes and then adjusted his gesture to point at me with a defeated expression.

  “Well done,” Barth complimented. “Do that again for the next match.”

  “Aren’t we worried it will become too predictable?” I wondered. “I only did it this time to get the jump on Dendril because he uses his move early.”

  “Maybe,” Barth pondered. Then he seemed to make up his mind because his voice became more definitive. “But that initial moment you have to get in there and attack without proper defense is invaluable. It will throw them off.”

  “I think we can make it work for a while,” I said, seeking a compromise, “but if I’m being honest, I think we might have to save it as the tournament goes on.”

  “I’m with Rico on this one,” Gerry agreed.

  “Fine,” Barth relented, “but do it for this next match at the very least. We want to see how much leverage we can get out of this. Of course, there is really only one downfall to this plan.”

  “Something other than becoming predictable?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Your girl won’t get to really see you fight,” Barth said with a cheeky grin.

  “Deity’s coming?” My face brightened.

  “Deity’s already here,” Barth said.

  He slipped his wig back over his head and crossed to the door. He opened it with a flourish. There, on the other side of the door, was Deity. She had a hooded blue cloak on, one used for traveling. It was pinned at the base of her throat, and she had it curled around her like a warm blanket.

  Barth beckoned her in with one hand, and Deity slipped through the door. Immediately, I scooped her into my arms and lifted her off the ground. She squealed with surprise and delight, only getting louder when I twirled her around.

  I planted her back on the ground and kissed her with such enthusiasm, Gerry coughed to get us to stop.

  “Deity!” I said as I pulled away from her, breathless. “What are you doing here?”

  “I had to come to see your MFL debut,” Deity said as she squeezed my arms. “I am sorry I missed the first match. Herc was late to watch the farm.”

  “You got Herc to watch the farm?” I asked with bemused and slightly worried eyes.

  “He owes me a few,” Deity answered. “Plus, once he heard what you were doing, he wanted to support you. Though he swears on his wife’s grave that he won’t tell a soul.”

  “Wait,” I paused. “Herc knows? You know?”

  “That everything’s not exactly up to code?” Deity chuckled. “Yeah, Barth told me.”

  “You’re not mad?” I wondered, shrinking a little in anticipation of her response.

  “I was at first,” Deity admitted. “Mainly that you weren’t the one to tell me. But I support you, Rico. I support your dream, and I get that sometimes we need to tell a little white lie every now and then. Plus, who knows? Maybe when you get good enough, you won’t have to lie anymore.”

  “Well,” Barth interrupted, “he has to get good enough. And he needs to do that by winning this next match.”

  “I plan on it,” I said with an award-winning smile.

  I looked around at my team and felt my heart swell with pride. Not only was I proud of what I accomplished out there in the ring, but I couldn’t have asked for a better team to have in my corner.

  At that moment, I felt invincible.

  The next fight was against a red demon named Jug the Soulcrusher. He was a little dramatic for my taste. Like Gerry, he was an illusionist but used his special move to make a ghost seemingly appear in the ring to trick and confuse his opponent.

  Just like my fight with Dendril, I gave Gerry the signal to turn me invisible right away. Jug appeared less baffled than the giant had, but still, he couldn’t defend against something he couldn’t see. I danced around him, once again finding his weak points and targeting them. My initial blow sent Jug reeling, and from there, visible or not, it was all a strategic takedown of my opponent

  While in the ring, my attention narrowed on my competition. However, I took a moment for myself. In between punches, the world appeared to slow, and I chanced a glance out in the crowd.

  The blazing lights made it difficult to see very far, but I found the faces I was looking for. Barth stood off to the side, by the door, in his disguise. The black hair suited him in a way that made me think that must have been his natural color before it turned gray. He wore an approving smirk as he watched Jug jerk and flail about with each of my attacks.

  My gaze shifted back to my corner, blue for this match. Gerry stood on an elevated platform right next to the ring. His fist thrust into the air, accompanied by his shouts and cheers. He was red-faced from the force of his yells. Internally, I chuckled at the passion from the small gnome.

  Finally, I shifted to look at the one face I could have stared at forever. Deity sat a couple of rows back so she could be level with
the ring. Unlike the other audience members who shouted and jeered, she remained calm. Her hands were tucked under her thighs, her shoulders hiked up to her ears in anticipation. She watched with a furrowed brow, trying to understand the moves. Every so often, Deity closed her eyes from the violence of it all. I knew this wasn’t her favorite spectacle. It seemed to pain her to watch as much as it pained the opponents when I punched them.

  Nevertheless, she was there. Deity strived to learn and watch, despite her discomfort. Because she was there to support me. To watch me.

  Fueled with the knowledge that I had a team of people behind me, I charged forward. I wanted to prove to them that their support wasn’t in vain. I was worth their effort, time, and love. So I reared back and socked Jug for a final blow that forced him to his knees. The demon wobbled then toppled to the side.

  Once again, the crowd erupted with a volcano of sound. I lifted both my gloves in the air this time and circled around the edge of the ring. I soaked up every cheer, every shout, every whistle. My heart thudded in my chest, and my blood pulsed through my veins.

  Elation drummed inside me, and I released a howl that had been building in my chest which only brought on more cheers.

  I relished in them, let them fall over my body like a tidal wave. The affection continued outside of the ring, as well. Creatures of all kinds wanted to shake my hand, give me a pat on the back, or even a hug. The hugs were mainly from a lot of female creatures, and I was grateful that Deity wasn’t the jealous type.

  My confidence carried me into my next match. However, it was Gerry who brought me back to reality with a fierce reminder about who my opponent was and what he could do.

  “You’re facing Erol the Dissipater,” the gnome informed me when we were back at the apartment following my victory against Jug.

  “Wait,” I paused, sure I heard him wrong. “The Erol? I thought he had retired years ago.”