Elf Puncher

by Simon Archer

  “He did,” Gerry said with a grimace, “but times were hard, and he needed the money, or so says the rumor mill. This championship tournament was supposed to be his big comeback.”

  “It’s the perfect matchup, really,” Barth interjected with a nonchalant air.

  “How so?” I asked, a little panic in my voice. “The male is a natural fighter, and he really tests his opponent’s fighting skills. They can’t rely on their special move because his special move is dissipating all magic from the ring.”

  Deity’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Well, isn’t that what you want?”

  “What do you mean?” I looked at the baker with a similarly confused expression on my own face.

  “Well, he’s going to fight you with no magic,” Deity said the words slowly as if unsure of them herself. “So, you don’t have to fake your special move. You just won’t use it at all and beat him using your skills, your training, your natural ability. It’s the ultimate chance to prove yourself.”

  “Exactly!” Barth said enthusiastically. He pointed with a stiff finger to Deity, then to me. “She’s catching on.”

  I thought about Deity’s words, let them stir in my head for the rest of the evening. She was absolutely right. Mine and Erol’s matchup would give me the ideal opportunity for a straight-up fight. I wouldn’t have to worry about signaling Gerry or avoiding my opponent’s special move. There just wouldn’t be any.

  This was the chance to show off me as the fighter I am. It was the closest I was ever going to get to fighting as my truest self. At that thought, a smile spread across my face.

  I was ready for that challenge.

  When I walked into the arena the evening of the match against Erol, I received the loudest cheer yet. It nearly deafened me as I entered. I was in awe of the whole situation. There were large signs with my name printed in red ink. Females screamed as I walked past them. I always knew this level of celebrity existed with MFL fighters, but experiencing it was an entirely different sensation.

  My arms flew up into the air as if of their own accord. Fists pumped, elbows straight, I encouraged their shouting. Another wave of sound rippled through the crowd. It injected straight into my veins, giving me another shot of adrenaline before I stepped into the ring.

  In the opposite corner stood a seven-foot, red-scaled, horned creature. He wrinkled his nose at me and didn’t smile at all. A little puff of black smoke spiraled through his nostrils and coiled into the air. The grin the audience put on my face quickly dimmed into an intimidating grimace.

  I would have to fight this fight fair and clean. Everyone was right. It was exactly the kind of fight I needed. It was right up my alley.

  I pounded my gloves together one, two, three times. Erol rolled his shoulders back and cranked his head back and forth. I jumped up and down. Erol licked his lips with his slimy, forked tongue.

  The bell dinged, and the match began.

  While it may have been the third match of my MFL career, it was the first to go all eight rounds. Both of our stamina was put to the test. My left eye was near swollen shut, and there was an ache in my side. I figured it was a couple of bruised ribs, but only one or two. As much pain as I was feeling, I had Erol on the run. Something about the way he staggered told me that his consciousness was failing.

  While the demon tried to stay on his feet, I knew I had to get one more good punch on him, and then he would be out for good. However, despite his swaying form, Erol managed to stay upright. He kept his arms high and blocked my jabs with surprising ease.

  The bell for the eighth and final round went off. Erol and I wobbled towards one another, both of us hesitant to make the first move. However, I knew I had to be the one to do it.

  I had to end this match and move forward. I was about to go all eight rounds with a creature using no magic. Only my endurance and my fists.

  I took a huge breath and surged forward. My feet bounced when I launched. I took a swift left hook to Erol’s head. He swiftly blocked me and then dodged back a step or two. Irritated, I burst forward again though this time with a flurry of blows. I smacked his shoulder, his forearms.

  With a snarl, I jabbed with a one-two and connected with his jaw. The vibration rocketed up my arm, and I watched his head lob backward like his neck was on a spring. It bobbed and caused the rest of his body to tumble down behind him.

  The red didn’t even have to call it. I saw Erol’s body go limp, heard the clatter on the floor of the ring. My arms were in the air, and my mouth opened to release a triumphant roar. But no one could hear me because the crowd echoed my excited exclamation. My arm was already up in the air when the referee came to declare me the winner.

  I spun in a circle, enjoying my victory. It was then that I noticed a face in the crowd. A gray, chiseled one that glared at me with malice.

  Warpin crossed his arms and flexed his muscles as if to intimidate me. Full of my pride and excitement, his efforts didn’t reach me. It was as though I had a shield to deflect any of his scare tactics.

  In response, I lifted my chin at him and smirked as if to say, “I am not afraid of you.” If anything, he should be afraid of me.

  Gerry popped in at my side and tried to drag me to the side of the ring. “We gotta get you back to the locker room to clean up.”

  It was only at Gerry’s suggestion that I left. Otherwise, I would have continued staring down Warpin until our match scheduled for the next day.

  When Gerry and I reached the locker room, Deity was already there, waiting with a basket in hand. The room smelled of pumpkin and cinnamon.

  “Oh, why did you bring that torture in here?” I asked when I entered.

  “I figured you deserved a treat,” Deity said with a chuckle. “Pumpkin muffins just for you.”

  “But my diet…” I protested weakly. The intoxicating smell drifted up to my nose, and my resolve weakened under the scent.

  “I already asked Barth,” Deity claimed. “He said one celebratory muffin wouldn’t kill you.”

  “Thank Walden!” I shouted as my hand dove into the basket.

  Gerry wasn’t far behind as he snatched one up right after me. I bit into the fluffy muffin and nearly died right there on the spot. Flavors burst on my tongue that I hadn’t had in so long. What a treat!

  “Damn, Deity,” Gerry said with a mouthful. “These are amazing.”

  “I know,” Deity said smugly.

  I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Deity.”

  “Of course,” Deity said with a return kiss. “You were great out there.”

  “Wasn’t he?” Gerry said, taking credit like he had been in the ring rather than me. “If you keep up at this rate, you’ll sweep this whole tournament!”

  “I don’t want to get ahead of myself,” I warned as I took another bite.

  “Right,” Deity agreed with a firm nod. “Take it one match at a time.”

  Just then, we heard the door open, and I was sure it was Opalid telling us we needed to clear out or something. I figured we should let the arena officials clean up and get on with their nights. We could party back at the apartment.

  I reached for the curtain and pulled it back, the apology ready on my lips. However, when I revealed the rest of the locker room, it wasn’t Opalid standing in the doorway.

  It was Warpin, with his eyes glowing red.

  23

  “Warpin,” I stammered, my mouth hanging open like a fish. “What are you doing here?”

  The half-giant didn’t answer me right away. He simply moved out of the doorway to reveal a series of other creatures, intent on entering the room. Opalid was there, her head hung. The two announcers and faces of MFL, Harvey Ballbright and Tenjer Opulus, walked in too. This was the first time I ever saw them not in the flickering green light of the projection, and I was starstruck all over again.

  Harvey’s mohawk seemed larger in person and an even brighter blond that I could have imagined. It gave Gerry’s a run for his money. Howeve
r, one weird thing about Harvey was that the comedic announcer wasn’t smiling. I don’t think I had ever seen him so serious. Tenjer, on the other hand, maintained his stoic composure, though his glare bordered on murderous. I thought that if elves ever did fight, Tenjer might be a good contender, considering his size and his intimidating eyes.

  “Rico Jacek?” Harvey asked, his gaze turned on me.

  “Yes?” I asked. I pulled off my glove and reached out a hand to meet the pair formally. “You’re Harvey Ballbright and Tenjer Opulus. It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I’ve watched you all for years.”

  “Yes, well,” Harvey started, but then he coughed halfway through and seemed to lose his words.

  I looked around the room at the four people in my locker room, five minutes before a fight. An eerie aura permeated the air, and a sense of dread overwhelmed me. I slowly lowered my hand back down to my side.

  “Rico?” Deity asked as she stood there, confused. “What’s going on?”

  “Is something wrong?” Gerry said as he came around the corner. Despite his size, he captured the room’s attention with his gusto and authority. “My competitor has a fight to get ready for, so if you all have something to say, you best say it now.”

  “Well, unfortunately, Gerry,” Harvey started, but again, his words seemed to catch in his throat, and he had to cough them out. His whole demeanor screamed discomfort, and it only made my dread grow at an alarming rate.

  “There seems to be a bit of an issue with Rico’s participation in the tournament,” Tenjer finished. “We’re going to have to suspend him while we conduct a full investigation.”

  “What?” I gasped. “What did I do?”

  “Nothing that we know of yet,” Tenjer said, taking the lead in this situation since Harvey couldn’t seem to get any of his words out. “This is temporary until we sort everything out.”

  “Sort what out?” I said. I fought to keep my face blank and my voice steady. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “We have it from a reliable source you have been in contact with a wanted male,” Tenjer informed me.

  “And that you aren’t what you say you are,” Warpin interjected.

  “Now, Warpin,” Harvey spoke up, “we let you come as a courtesy because you brought the issue up to us, but remember, we asked you to stay clear of any accusations.”

  My eyes flashed to Warpin, who met my steely gaze with one of utter contempt. The red glint to them only increased their level of intimidation.

  Warpin growled but kept quiet, but Gerry took up the conversation again. “This is absurd. On what grounds do you base this accusation?”

  “The fact that this creature was in the arena tonight, cheering you on,” Tenjen answered calmly. “If we find that you have been consorting with him, you will be subject to disqualification.”

  “I’m telling you, Tenjen, that’s not the biggest problem we have here,” Warpin stepped in again. “He’s not a half-giant. I know he’s not.”

  “And how could you know that?” Gerry challenged.

  Warpin’s eyes glowed to their full potential, brightening to a bloody red. He trained his sights on me, and I knew he was using his x-ray vision on me at that very moment. While a small part of me was floored at the thought that Warpin was using his magic on me, a larger part was utterly terrified. No one had any idea exactly what he saw when he activated that vision. Apparently, it was enough to discover my secret.

  “He doesn’t have a giant bone in his body,” Warpin announced to the group. His eyes returned to normal. “I suspected as much when I met him at the sign-ups.”

  “Well, that’s great, Warpin, just great,” Gerry countered with a light tone that surprised me. “I know you’re the king and all around here, but if you take a look at his birth certificate, it says otherwise. You’re going to believe this jealous fighter over official documentation?”

  At Gerry’s subtle insult, Warpin snarled, but impressively, the gnome didn’t jump back. He remained cool and collected as if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. I watched my friend and adopted his level of calm. I straightened my shoulders and offered my own opinion.

  “He’s just bitter because I scared him by winning these last two matches so quickly,” I said with an unfamiliar air of confidence. “He’s threatened I’m going to take his spot as the top half in the MFL, so he concocted some story about me not being a half-giant and consorting with the enemy.”

  “Do you doubt my word, wight?” Warpin threatened.

  “Warpin, there’s no need for that kind of language,” Harvey said appalled.

  Anger surged through me, and I closed my hands into fists. “I am. It’s about time someone did.”

  Gerry stepped in between the two of us and held out his hand. “Alright, now, save it for the ring, fellows. Which we should be getting to. Now, if you’ll excuse us,” Gerry said as he tried to guide me through the group of creatures.

  However, Harvey and Tenjen gracefully blocked our way out.

  “Unfortunately, Gerry, we have to take these allegations seriously and investigate them accordingly,” Tenjen revealed.

  “Is that so?” Gerry looked up at the elf skeptically.

  “It is,” Tenjen confirmed.

  “How long do you plan to take conducting these so-called investigations?” Gerry smacked his lips together to make an irritating sound.

  “One of them we can clear up right now, or at least get it started.” Tenjen looked over his shoulder at Opalid. “Would you please bring in our guest?”

  “A guest, huh?” Gerry rolled his eyes. “Some guest if he’s coming in here and accusing my fighter.”

  My mind raced through the possibilities of who it might be. Barth, Gerry, and I thought we covered everything, hit up everyone that might have a chance as exposing me. Gerry’s bribe was pretty sufficient, and I’d known Herc forever, I trusted the man to have my back. There was no way it was Deity, my heart knew that for certain.

  For a sudden second, Nyah’s face appeared in my mind’s eye. I couldn’t help but write that suspicion off. Though my brain couldn’t quite let me. Despite the fact that I thought we’d had a bond, I didn’t know Nyah that well. She was sketchy about her history and didn’t tell us much about where she was from. For all I know, it could have been her walking through that door just now.

  However, a voice stopped us in our tracks.

  “I’m here just like you asked, Tenjen,” Barth said from the doorway while a hefty uniformed official stood behind him.

  “Bartholomew, would you kindly take off that disguise?” the elf asked the other. “That way, we can all see you properly?”

  Barth stepped further into the room and removed his disguise. The black wig fell to the ground, and he unraveled his beard from the undertuck he kept it in. The elf peeled off the fake eyebrows, one by one, and stuck them to the doorway as if for safekeeping.

  “Thank you, Bartholomew,” Tenjen said officially. He turned his attention back to Gerry and me. “Now, I need to know if you two know this male.”

  “Of course I do,” Gerry answered right away. “I used to work with him.”

  “Used to being the operative words,” Barth said bitterly. “I haven’t seen the gnome since before I got banned and the half-giant I only saw tonight.”

  “Seems awful risky,” Harvey suggested, “to risk violating your ban in order to watch a stranger fight.”

  “Sure was,” Barth admitted without a hint of shame. If anything, the elf stood straighter as he spoke. “I wanted a chance to see someone to knock Warpin off his pedestal over there, and I thought this guy was good enough to do it. But I guess he scared Warpin a little too much.”

  “How dare you show your face in here again?” Warpin howled. “After you almost got me killed.”

  “Stop being so dramatic,” Barth scolded, like a father to his son. “I just rigged the game so you would lose. You were the one who fell hard enough to break your brain.”

  “Bartholo
mew,” Tenjen said seriously, as he stepped between the half-giant and the elf. “You know you are not allowed to be here.”

  “I know,” Barth said with a solemn nod. “You have every right to arrest me because of that. But if you plan to charge this fighter for consorting with me, don’t bother. I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

  “Wait,” I stammered, surprised.

  “I wish I could say I trained him,” Barth continued, barreling over my protest. “He’s damn good. Better than you, Warpin. Gerry did a good job with him.”

  Barth’s words shocked me. I opened my mouth to continue my protests, to assure them that I had just as big of a part to play when something wet whacked me in the ear. I glanced in the direction the spit missile had come from and saw Gerry standing next to me. He shook his head at me with a grim expression.

  “Don’t do it,” he mouthed.

  I couldn’t let him take the fall. I shook my head back at Gerry with more determination and, once again, opened my mouth to speak. Without fail, Gerry spat at me again, nearly getting it straight in my mouth. He snapped his head back and forth with a furious glare.

  How was I supposed to let Barth do this? After everything he had done for me, it wasn’t right. All three of us knew the risk, and we made the choice. We were supposed to go down together.

  “We will still have to conduct an investigation,” Tenjen said with a frown. “Until then, we will have to postpone the fight until we reach our conclusion. Bartholomew, you know we still have to arrest you for being on MFL property, even if what you say is true and didn’t train Rico Jacek.”

  “I do,” the elf said.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my tongue. I fought against every instinct to cry out and stop the inevitable from happening. All I could do to taper my gut was think of Deity and how if I said anything, if I didn’t take this out that Barth offered, I would never see her again.

  So, I kept quiet and let Barth work his magic.

  Tenjen and Harvey exchanged a glance. The blond elf offered only a shrug and passed the responsibility back to Tenjen. The heavier set elf sighed and waved his hand at the officials.