Elf Puncher

by Simon Archer

  “I’m looking forward to it,” I hissed.

  “I’m looking forward to proving the MFL wrong,” Warpin growled. “It’s my specialty.”

  “That’s what I don’t understand about this whole thing,” I said as I shook my head sadly. “You were such a trailblazer, an inspiration when you got into that ring for the first time. You represented all of us who thought we could never get into the ring. You gave us hope. Why are you so opposed to someone else doing that for other people?”

  “Because I don’t believe you are inspiring anyone,” Warpin snapped. “I believe you are feeding them lies.”

  “I have never lied about my ability as a fighter,” I said, my voice gravelly from my anger.

  “No, I suppose that is one thing you haven’t lied about,” Warpin conceded. “Still, I am the better fighter between the two of us.”

  “In three days, we’ll find out for sure,” I said confidently.

  “In three days, we’ll find out exactly how worthless you are,” Warpin countered with a jeer. “Once you step into that ring and I beat you, every human will realize that they will never be good enough to fight and that they should stay right where they belong.”

  I didn’t have a response to his harsh words. My nerves clung to his notion that I was worthless and spun them around in a violent circle, like a carousel out of control.

  The half-giant seemed satisfied with my silence. He turned away from the wire fence and walked down the hill, away and out of sight.

  My nerves and anger and anticipation curdled at the base of my stomach. I stayed strong and stood straight when all I wanted to do was run back to the farmhouse and curl into bed with Deity. If I did that though, I would play right into Warpin’s strategy.

  He’d come here specifically to jar me. I couldn’t let his words harm me, no matter how true my anxiety thought they might be. It was a scare tactic, and a small part of me felt honored that he felt the need to intimidate me so.

  It meant that I had him right where I wanted him before we went into the match.

  29

  “Are you ready?”

  I stood outside the farmhouse after locking the door behind me. We were on the porch, Deity and me, as our friends stood out on the path, waiting to make the journey to the city.

  I looked out from the porch to the rest of the farm. The sun rose and illuminated everything in a soft orange glow. Herc would be over to feed the animals soon and watch everything as he did before. Then he would rush back to the Blue Water Bar and make sure my fight with Warpin was up and ready for everyone to watch.

  Deity reached out and squeezed my hand. “Are you ready?” she repeated.

  I took a moment to double-check everything mentally. Then I took another minute to check myself. Something about this whole situation felt like a goodbye. While I knew we would be coming back to the farmhouse tomorrow, this marked a shift in my life.

  I would come back to this house as the first human to compete in a MFL fight. Win or lose, I accomplished that much. I wouldn’t be the same man that I was at that moment. Something was terrifying about this realization but also something freeing.

  I wrapped an arm around Deity and kissed the top of her forehead. Her constant scents of sugar, butter, and vanilla comforted me. She nestled herself into me as if knowing I needed that solidarity from her and gave me an enormous hug. She tilted her head up and gazed at me.

  “Ready or not, Rico, we gotta get going,” she said with a smile. “We want to get to the city with enough time for you to prepare and warm up.”

  “You’re right,” I confirmed.

  Deity unraveled herself from me and walked down the steps towards Nyah, Gerry, and Barth. The four of them stood together, chatting and gathering our supplies. I watched from the porch and was struck with a sense of gratitude. I still didn’t understand what I had done to deserve these amazing creatures in my life.

  We had been on a crazy journey together. Our bonds grew stronger over the past three weeks, and now, the day of reckoning was upon us. It was time for me to prove to them that their efforts, their time, and their faith in me was worth it.

  The knot that had been in my stomach all night tightened. I had been in enough fights by now not to get nervous about that prospect, but the sheer magnitude of this match made my stomach become a regular gymnast. It flipped and flopped at the thought of the fight tonight, all excitement forgotten.

  “You coming, Rico?” Barth interrupted my nervous thoughts.

  “Yeah, we kinda need you,” Gerry added jokingly. “You’re the only one who can fight this fight.”

  “I mean, I can give Warpin a run for his money, but my name’s not on the roster,” Nyah joked as she shifted her weight to one side and put a hand on her hip.

  Graham bounded out of the house just then. He barked up at me, seeming to tell me to get a move on. I leaned down and petted the dog who pressed his head into my palm.

  “Wish me luck, boy,” I whispered.

  The dog licked my face with one big slurp.

  I grimaced and wiped off my cheek. “Get what you ask for, I guess.”

  My feet seemed to move of their own accord down the stairs. I approached the group, completing our family of five.

  “Someone lead the way,” I instructed.

  Gerry burst forward, his own nerves making his jittery and anxious to move. He said goodbye to all of the animals as we passed them, almost putting us further behind schedule than I had.

  “I’m going to pick you up and carry you on my shoulders if you don’t hurry up,” Barth threatened.

  “Oh, would you?” Gerry asked sincerely. “It would save my feet a couple of blisters. And then I can nap the whole way.”

  Barth shoved Gerry lightly, and the gnome responded in kind. Deity laughed at their altercation. Her joy relaxed my muscles as easily as one of her tonics. I eased into the sensation, taking advantage of the calm her happiness brought me.

  The journey took us only a couple of hours as predicted. However, what surprised us about the walk, was the number of people that called out to us or stopped us along the way.

  “Good luck, Rico!” a farmer called out when we passed his fields.

  “We’re rooting for you, Rico!” a couple said when they rode past on their cart.

  It only got worse as we neared the city. Some people actually came out of the houses to shake my hand. I did my best to smile and appease them. But with every well-wisher that came my way, the sense of dread only grew.

  I had a moment of reprieve when a small human boy approached me. It was a whole group of boys clambering for my autograph. I obliged by scribbling my name on their various scraps of paper, but the smaller boy with long chocolate-colored hair that hung in his face didn’t step forward. He hid behind the rest of the group, quieter and shyer than the others.

  Once I finished with their requests, I approached the boy. I made my movements as small as I could so as not to scare him. The boy didn’t move when I came forward. He simply stared up at me with a furrowed brow. He clutched the pen and paper in his hand with a new sense of agency. I could tell he wanted to ask me for my signature, but his nerves had gotten a hold of his words.

  I could relate.

  I crouched down and pointed to the paper. “Do you want me to sign that?”

  The boy nodded but didn’t move to hand the materials to me.

  “Can I take your piece of paper?” I asked as gently as I could.

  He nodded again. I slipped the paper and the pen from his hands and put them on my knee so I could write on a hard surface.

  “What’s your name?” I wanted to know so I could make it out to the boy personally.

  “Toby,” he answered. He couldn’t be more than six years old, with his height and high-pitched voice.

  “To Toby,” I recited as I wrote out his name. I was just about to scratch out a signature when Toby surprised me with a question.

  “Aren’t you scared?”

  At firs
t, I didn’t think I heard him right. “What?”

  “Warpin’s awfully big,” Toby said, his voice timid and quiet. “Aren’t you scared?”

  The innocent question poked through my inflated persona. It hit in the center of my heart and forced me to huff out a heavy breath. Was it that obvious? Could this small boy see right through me? If he could, Warpin was going to be able to easily.

  As I looked into Toby’s bright blue eyes, I thought of another young, blue-eyed human boy who watched fighters and used to wonder the same thing. I used to think that those creatures don’t get scared. I wanted to be like those creatures who fought and made something of themselves and never got scared.

  I realized, then, that was unrealistic. I was scared. Hella scared. I was scared of what everyone was going to say about me if I lost. What they were going to say about me if I won. If this was going to be my one and only fight as a human. As my real and authentic self. I was scared to let Nyah, Gerry, Barth, and Deity down. I was scared to let this hopeful little boy down, even though I had only just met him.

  I thought about my answer for longer than Barth would have liked. I tossed it over in my brain, trying to find the right words when I discovered that honesty was the only thing I could offer him.

  “Yeah,” I said with a definitive nod. “Yeah, I am scared.”

  Toby looked shocked. His mouth popped open like a fish, and his blue eyes grew even wider, like Deity’s dessert plates.

  “Do you get scared sometimes?” I asked him.

  “Yeah,” Toby admitted.

  “See, I do too.” I lowered my voice and beckoned Toby closer with my finger. He obliged and leaned in. “But you know what?”

  “What?” he whispered back.

  “Warpin’s scared too,” I said as I thought back to our short but meaningful confrontation on the edge of the farm. “All fighters get scared sometimes.”

  “How do you know that?” Toby asked, skeptical.

  “He told me,” I said, “and I’m telling you that I’m scared. But the cool part is that even though we’re scared, we fight anyway.”

  Then I decided what to write on Toby’s piece of paper. I scribbled the words, “Fight Anyway,” and then signed my name. I handed the paper back to the boy and gave him a wink. Toby tried to wink back but ended up just closed both eyes, one right after the other. Then he dashed away to show his paper to the rest of the boys.

  We had a couple more encounters as we walked the rest of the way to the edge of the city, but I knew I was going to remember Toby’s round, shy face out of everyone else I met that day.

  We crossed over into the city gates and were met with a sight to behold. Lined along the streets were posters of Warpin and me. The official MFL logo was in the bottom corner, as per usual, and the lettering splashed our names across the bottom. Some of the posters showed the two of us facing off against one another, but others had us on them individually. Warpin’s was the same poster I had in my bedroom, but I couldn’t believe that I had one to match.

  It had been taken from one of my earlier fights. It was when I launched both my arms in the air after winning my second fight. My face stretched into a triumphant scream. My muscles bulged and were tinted with sweat. Then, written in the red, iconic font were the words, “Rico the Resilient.”

  Deity squealed at the sight of one. She clutched my arm and pointed. “Oh, look, Rico! Look!”

  “Oh, Walden,” I breathed, the realness of the day hitting me with full force. It was mixed with the nostalgia of my childhood, always wanting one of those MFL posters with my name on it.

  “You look so ferocious.” Deity chuckled. “Not like yourself at all.”

  I stared down at her, a little shocked. “Are you saying I’m not ferocious?”

  “I mean,” Deity backpedaled, “you are in the ring. I’m just not used to seeing you like that.”

  A thought occurred to me, accompanied by a small bout of fear. “You’re going to watch, right?”

  “Of course,” Deity said affirmatively. “I wouldn’t miss it. I might have to watch some of it through my fingers, but I will watch. I promise.” She gave me a quick kiss to seal the deal. “And when you win, I will make you a whole batch of pumpkin muffins, just for yourself.”

  “I want pumpkin muffins!” Gerry interjected with a slight whine.

  “Ooh,” Nyah said with a soft whistle. “Those sound really good right now.”

  Deity laughed. “Alright, I’ll make everyone their own batch of pumpkin muffins if Rico wins, okay?”

  Barth slapped me on the shoulder. “No pressure, right, Rico?”

  “Right,” I grumbled, the last of my confidence sliding away. “No pressure.”

  We checked in with Opalid who greeted us at the door of the arena. On the other side of the building, creatures lined up to get their seats, tickets in hand. The elven female led us to a whole other section of the arena I hadn’t seen before. She stopped at a door that had my title printed in large red letters.

  “You’ll be in the red corner this evening,” Opalid informed us, “and this is your private locker room.”

  “Private,” Gerry whispered in awe.

  Opalid opened the door and handed off the key to Barth.

  The inside of the private locker room floored me. There were couches and snacks and water, ready and prepped. There were various exercise equipment and enough room to warm up comfortably. A robe with my name on the back hung in an open-door closet. There was even a bed with clean, fresh sheets for me to rest, though I knew I wouldn’t be doing any of that.

  “Wow,” Deity breathed. “They are going all out for this thing, aren’t they?”

  “Dad doesn’t do anything halfway,” Nyah commented as she set down some of our equipment.

  Barth proceeded to hang up my shorts and gloves. “I’ve seen bigger.”

  “Oh, come on,” Gerry said as he rolled his eyes. “This is fancy!”

  “I agree, Gerry,” Deity said. “It is pretty fancy.”

  “Come on, Rico the Resilient.” Nyah jogged to the exercise section of the room and elbowed me on the way over. “Let’s break a sweat, shall we?”

  Nyah managed to shut off my nervous mind by working through the warm-up drills. We stretched various parts of my body, while Deity checked the nutritional value of the provided snacks. Gerry polished and cleaned up my gear, making sure everything was in order. Barth observed Nyah and me, correcting me when my hips weren’t in the right place or encouraging me to go faster.

  While we were in an unfamiliar place, the situation was familiar. Everyone fell into their respective roles, including me. I forced my brain to focus on the tasks at hand and prevented myself from straying beyond the exact moment. I fell into a sort of meditative state as I went through the exercises. It was some of the only peace I had all day.

  However, that peace didn’t last forever. Before I knew it, Opalid came in to tell us we had ten minutes left until the fight. I was changed and geared up, ready to go, but when the elf gave that warning, all of the nerves flooded my body like a broken dam.

  “If you plan to watch the match, you should take your seats,” Opalid told my friends.

  “You heard the lady,” Nyah announced. “Let’s go. We’ll see you out there, Rico.”

  “You got this!” Gerry said encouragingly.

  Barth didn’t say anything. He simply offered a pat on the back and then left the room. Deity paused in the doorway, having not said anything either. She looked at me with curious eyes. Then she called down the hallway.

  “I’ll be right there!”

  I sat down on a nearby bench and put my head in my hands. Deity fell to her knees in front of me and pulled my head up, both of her hands caressing my face.

  “What is it?” she asked. “You have been off since this morning.”

  “I don’t know if I can do it, Deity,” I admitted, finally confessing the crushing feelings I’d had all day.

  “What makes you say that?” she
wondered, her voice as soothing and as gentle as ever.

  “There’s so much pressure,” I said as my eyes buzzed about the room as if comfort were to be found in the corners of the ceiling. “There’s never been pressure like this before. All of those people we saw on the way here. Nyah pulling all those strings for me. Barth getting arrested. Gerry making his coaching debut. You. I just want to be worth all of this trouble. I have to win to make it worth all of this.”

  “Stop it,” Deity said sharply. “Stop it right now. No one said you had to do anything except go out there and do your best. Sure, we want you to win, but that doesn’t matter to us.”

  “Sure it does,” I argued.

  “Rico.” Deity sighed. “Did you think we were all going to abandon you or something if you didn’t win this fight?”

  “I don’t know,” I grumbled, knowing it sounded stupid when she said it aloud. “Maybe.”

  “That’s just not true,” Deity said as she shook her head. “We did all of this because we love you. Because we believe you are worth it. You don’t have to prove anything to us. And everyone else? They don’t matter. You’re doing this because it’s your dream.”

  I put my hands over hers on the side of my head and removed them so I could hold her hands in mine. I looked down at them for a moment, just as calloused and rough as mine from all of her rolling dough, burns, and baking.

  “I believe in you,” Deity whispered as she put her forehead to mine, “and I believe in us. You have nothing to prove to me or anyone else. Just go out there and fight.”

  I tilted my chin forward so I could kiss her. The pressure of her lips on mine eased the pressure on my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. Deity went willingly and slid her arms down my back. Her fingers tickled the nerves on my spine.

  For a second, I wanted to forgo the whole fight and take her right there on that small bed. Deity seemed to sense this want because she pulled away then.

  “Not yet, Rico,” Deity said with a chuckle. She bit her lip. “Win or lose, I promise we can do that after.”

  “Alright,” I groaned. I gave her one more kiss, and she rose to her feet.