Survive for Me

by Karin Dahan

  As I walk a bit further the chirping from the birds give way to the sounds of cows and chickens. The noises sound unfamiliar and foreign to me. I have never seen a real cow in my life. Curiosity makes me walk faster. I push away a big leafy branch that covers my way and on the other side I see Morrick busy dragging big branches away to uncover a large metal gate. It’s twice my length and the rusty metal looks strong and impenetrable.

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  “This is where they live?” I can’t hide the surprise from my voice. I expected their farm to have a classic white picket fence around it, like the photos I have seen in my books about farm life. The metal gives more of an impression of a prison.

  “You know it would go a lot faster if you would help with these…” Morrick says grimly.

  I don’t respond. Instead, I get to work; anything to get him get in a better mood. The branches must be a mean to conceal the gate, another measurement to keep people out. The small road that we’re standing on is little more than wheel tracks with grass growing in the middle. Clearly, not many vehicles pass through here.

  My palms are sweaty as I throw the last branch away and my body pickles from nerves as I bring my hand up to knock on the gate. The metal gives off a surprising loud bang that echoes around us. Morrick’s patience is obviously running thin because he reaches around me and bangs on the gate. I can’t help but glare at him. Doesn’t he understand that we’re guests here? Rudeness will not get us far. He meets my eyes and raises his eyebrows in response, “What?”

  Annoyance sips through my body. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you so mad all of the sudden?”

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  “I’m not mad,” he says with a shrug. He’s clearly not interested in taking the conversation any further.

  I clench my jaw at the nonchalant way he’s brushing me off. I know that tears are not far away. I was an idiot thinking that this handsome stranger was my savior. He chased away my loneliness yesterday. Maybe I was too desperate for a friend; for someone to help me out of this mess.

  The metal gate gives off a screeching sound as it slowly moves horizontally, coming to a stop when a small stretch of light shines through the opening. A shadow moves past it in a flash and then I hear Gilbert’s booming voice, “Open it Rufus.”

  I can’t help but smile as the familiar face of my friend becomes visible when the door continues to open. Unfortunately, my smile quickly fades away as I notice the gun Gilbert is holding, and his facial features turn grim as he eyes Morrick. Suddenly, my mouth is dry and I’m struggling with what my first words should be. Rufus comes to my rescue as he appears in the gateway. He shines with joy as he sees me.

  “Eddie!” He walks towards me with his arms stretched out, grabs my shoulders and gives me the familiar kiss on my cheeks. “Someone needs a bath.” His looks at me with concern as he studies my

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  face, “Honey, what happened to you?”

  Big tears run down my cheeks, I want to be strong but my wall crumbles at the sight of my friends. We might not have known each other long but they’re the closest things to family I have known in the past years. My lips tremble as I try to speak. “It’s a long story.”

  Gilbert walks up to us, his eyes never leaving Morrick. “And who’s this?”

  Rufus lets go of my shoulders. “Yes, who is this handsome stranger? I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” He smiles at me and winks at Morrick and I can’t help but let out a laugh. The contrast of Gilbert and Rufus couldn’t be clearer. Gilbert suspicious and cautions, marked by the world in which we live. While Rufus is like a figment from the past, still living life like nothing has changed; like people were still good and trustworthy.

  “This is Morrick; not my boyfriend, just a friend.” I think. “He saved me from some Scully members the other day after I had traded with you. And he saved me again yesterday.”

  Shock is written all over Rufus face and he can’t help himself from interrupting me “Oh, he saved you. How romantic! I want to hear everything about this knight in shining armor of yours.”

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  Morrick’s eyes are on me and when I look his grin has returned. I hate that my cheeks burn. Rufus notices the exchange and gives of a delightful laugh before stretching out his hand to Morrick. “I’m Rufus, nice to meet you.”

  “Not so fast there.” Gilbert holds Rufus back, earning him an angry glare from his partner. “You still haven’t explained why you brought him here Eddie. I don’t like strangers coming to my house.”

  “I’m so sorry Gilbert. I had no other choice. My home was destroyed yesterday, and I had no place to go. I was hoping to find you in your shack since the trade day was today. I ran into Morrick when you weren’t there.”

  “And what were you doing around our shack?” Gilbert's voice is low, but the threat of danger is hard to miss.

  Morrick seems unfazed with the accusations that are hanging in the air. “I wasn’t around that area until I heard the loud bang of someone throwing a rock at the window. I thought it was some of the Scullys, so I went over there to have a look.” His eyes meet mine. But my angry stare only makes him smile. “That’s when I found Eddie trying to break into your shack.”

  I can’t believe he threw me under the bus like that. He definitely

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  didn’t need to tell them all the unnecessary details. To my surprise, Gilbert and Rufus don’t flinch at the news. They don’t even look my way. Instead, their focus is still on Morrick. I can see Gilbert studying him, trying to determine if he is trustworthy or not. His hands tighten around his gun when he notices the knife hanging on Morrick’s hips. “So, you decided to help our Eddie here from the goodwill of your heart?” The crease in between Gilberts eyes deepen. “Do you understand why I find this hard to believe?”

  I know what comes next, I know Morrick will tell them I promised to pay him. Or more accurate, that I promised Gilbert and Rufus would pay him. I bring up my hand and start playing with my necklace. I need a distraction. I hear Morrick take a deep breath, but I don’t look at him. Instead I focus on the long grass that’s growing around my feet.

  “Look, we both know what kind of world we live in; what people do to survive today. I know you see my knife and it makes you nervous. It should. If it didn’t, you would probably not have survived as long as you have. But somehow, Eddie here remains so innocent to our reality.”

  I can’t help but look up and when I do, I’m surprised to see a small

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  blush creeping up on Morrick’s cheeks. He doesn’t notice me staring, Instead, he continues, never breaking eye contact with Gilbert. “I don’t know how to explain it, but seeing her innocence made me want to help her, protect her.”

  “Aww, that’s the sweetest thing I have ever heard!” Rufus claps his hands together and takes a step towards me and whisper, a little too loudly, “I think he likes you.”

  My nerves are quickly replaced by my embarrassment and I give Rufus a light pinch on his arm to stop him from continuing. He sidesteps me while laughing. “Oh, Gilbert, don’t be so hard on these teenagers. Don’t you remember what it was like being young? Let’s go inside. Both of you will obviously have to stay for dinner.” He puts his hand on Gilbert's shoulder and the joy radiates from his whole being, “Do you remember the last time we had a dinner party Gilbert? Or, have we even had a dinner party together?”

  Gilbert relaxes slightly, and his face softens from Rufus’ excitement. “Fine, fine. But if you’re coming inside I need you to hand over your knife. And, I need to look through your bag.” Morrick hesitates at first but he knows there won’t be any point in arguing. He holds no cards in this situation. Instead, he does as Gilbert

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  asks and hands over everything. Gilbert gives Rufus the knife while he looks through the bag. He brings up a small black item. I have a hard time making out what it is, but Gilbert doesn’t. “Why do you have a walkie-talkie?”

  “Oh, I picked that up from one of
the military guards in town last week. Figured it was good to hold on to it in case I could overhear what they were talking about. You can keep it if you want to.” Gilbert drops it into the bag and hands it to Morrick.

  Rufus talks nonstop as we walk through the gate, clearly excited to have guests. I try to listen, but I’m too distracted by my surroundings. The large area that opens in front of us is nothing I could have ever imagine. The wheat that grows on the fields to the left and right of us sways in the wind; like it’s dancing to a song we can’t hear. The small rustling noises it makes fills me with a serenity and calm.

  Gilbert walks in front of us, leading the way up toward a large one-floor log house. Its sturdy walls look like they could withstand anything nature throws their way. Right behind, a second building is nestled amongst trees with animals roaming in the fenced areas next to it.

  When we get inside, Rufus takes over and gives us the grand

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  tour. The big house holds several bedrooms, so we each get one to borrow for the night.

  The farm used to be Gilbert’s parents. When his siblings left to pursue other careers, he stayed behind to take over when his parents got too old to run it by themselves.

  “I’m sure you will want to wash up before dinner. I will rustle up some of Gilbert’s sisters’ clothes for you, Eddie, if you want to jump in the shower.” Rufus points in the direction of the room next to my bedroom. “Gally had dreadful taste in clothes, or so it looks like from the pictures I have seen. But, she should be about your size. Gilbert’s other sister, Hilda…she was built like her brother.” a chuckle escapes Rufus. “She basically looked like Gilbert if he had shaved.”

  “Hey now,” Gilbert voice is stern but his eyes glitter with amusement. “All of my sisters have beautiful souls. Not everyone can have a perfect exterior and interior like you,” he says as he lovingly puts his arm around Rufus.

  “You big love bear.” Rufus laughs as he waives away Gilbert. “I’ll go and search for those clothes. You know, if you love birds shower together it will save on the water,” he says as he points at me and Morrick before he turns and walks away. Gilbert chuckles and

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  Morrick and I both look at each other. His color slowly drains from his face.

  “Eh… I can shower first.” I quickly bolt into the bathroom to get away from the embarrassing situation Rufus created.

  I originally plan to take a quick rinse, but I find it hard tearing myself away from the steaming water in the shower. Being engulfed by the warm streams makes me forget the past few days; the images of leaving the crew behind, fighting for their lives.

  The large towel I wrap myself in is like heaven compared to the dirty clothes that I collect from the bathroom floor. I’ll have to ask for some detergent to wash these later.

  A shiver runs through me as the cold air in the hallway meets me when I open the door.

  “Morrick, the shower is free now,” I call out.

  No answer.

  I tiptoe over to his bedroom and push open the door, I see him sitting on his bed, when he notices me he quickly hides away something under the blanket. Strange.

  “Eh, the shower is all yours.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll skip it. No point when I’ll get dirty again

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  tomorrow.”

  “Okay, but if you change your mind, I’m sure they won’t mind.”

  “I know,” he responds while looking at me. I can tell he’s waiting for me to leave.

  Fine. I get the hint. I gently close the door behind me, shaking my head as I head back to my room. Morrick sure is strange sometimes.

  Rufus has laid out the clothes he got me on my bed; black work pants along with a bleached t-shirt. They’re functional and comfortable, which is what matters. My jacket will still be with me wherever I go. It has my mom’s document, so I don’t dare to let it out of my sight.

  The few hours before dinner goes by in a blur. Rufus has decided we should celebrate with a feast. Throwing lavish dinner parties is apparently one of his many skills; something he rarely gets to practice in the world we live in today. He spends his time on setting the table, bringing in flowers and lighting candles. Meanwhile, Gilbert is stuck in the kitchen, quietly cooking whatever Rufus asked him to. I try to help as much as I can but both men prompt me to rest. Gilbert prefers the help of Morrick. I’m guessing it’s to keep a close eye on him. I can tell he doesn’t trust him.

  It’s hard not to laugh at Morrick, who seems out of his element

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  while he struggles to follow Gilbert’s instructions.

  As we get ready to sit down to eat, the busy preparations are replaced by a calm, as if the house finally exhales and settles in for the evening. The sun has set but the candlelight along with the fireplace chase away the darkness in the living room.

  I enter from the kitchen and I’m instantly in awe at the transformation Rufus has made. The large rustic table that had a farm look now looks elegant and fashionable. A white tablecloth covers the dark wood and antique china is set out for each person. Candles and flowers in small vases line the middle of the table and each plate has a branch of rosemary, carefully tied with a violet ribbon around a napkin. Rufus looks different as well. His work clothes have been replaced by a perfectly ironed button-up. The strong colored flower pattern pop against his dark skin.

  “I’m a little underdressed for this dinner. It’s gorgeous,” I say as I look over Rufus’ shoulder towards the dining table. “You know you didn’t have to go through all of this trouble just for us.”

  “Eddie, this is more for Rufus than for anyone else.” Gilbert’s low chuckle comes up behind me. “He always nags me about having guests over, like we still live in the past. So when you guys surprised us,

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  he finally gets to host a dinner party.”

  Gilbert carries a large pot with what looks like stew over to the table and the room instantly fills with the aroma of herbs. My mouth waters on instinct and I realize how hungry I am. Rufus hurries to his side to help him arrange the vases and candles the right way now that the pot needs some space on the crowded table.

  Morrick’s by my side, his face looks grim and serious. “Are you ok?” I whisper so the others won’t hear me.

  “I don’t get it. Why all the fuss? It’s just food.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer, but rather walks in the room and takes a seat by the table. Rufus noticed his grim look. His big smile never falters, turning his attention instead to me. “Come on honey, let’s eat.”

  I take in all the details. Being in a loving home again is slightly foreign, but I love it. It’s such a big difference from my lonely dinners in my tree house. Rufus does most of the talking, carrying the conversation for the rest of us. When he takes a break to eat, Gilbert’s steady voice bring my attention back to the table. “It’s time you told us what happened to you and why you came here.”

  “Oh Gilbert, you brute. Eddie, you’re so welcome here and we’re glad you came.” Rufus feels the need to soften his words.

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  “No, he’s right. You have the right to know what’s going on. But first, I want to thank you both for welcoming us and making this dinner. I can’t even explain how much this means to me.” I take a long breath of air and start my story, telling them everything from beginning to end; leaving out only how the rebels were looking for me personally and how I have my mom’s letter. They don’t interrupt, but I can see Gilbert looking over at Morrick from time to time, studying his reactions. I know Rufus thinks Gilbert is constantly overly cautious, looking for threats in every corner. That’s how he became the man he is today, one of the most successful traders in the area. I respect his caution, but I trust Morrick. He saved me twice from the Scullys and for no personal gain for himself; not to mention that he brought me here. I owe him so much.

  When I finish my story I’m drained, empty from having to relive my last few days. Gilbert sits back in his chai
r, pondering what he has just heard while stroking his beard. I can tell he knows I’m holding back some of the information and he’s trying to figure out what and why. Like always, Rufus has the opposite reaction, reaching out to give my hand a reassuring squeeze. “How can we help?”

  “Well, I heard that my uncle is alive and living in the

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  government housing. I need to go to him. I was hoping you might have some knowledge of the structure of the city. I’m not familiar with the area where he’s supposedly living. I know you have traded there before.” I cringe as I continue. “And if I could borrow some provisions, I promise I’ll find a way to pay you back.”