Time Villains Series, Book 1

by Victor Piñeiro

  Brady grabbed both Wiki and me by the collar and brought us in close. “Do you hear that?” she whispered.

  “I know—it must be some pirate anthem,” I whispered back. “It kind of sounds like Skidamarink-a-Doo.”

  “No, not that. That jingling sound. It’s really light. Listen.”

  We tried to keep up while walking on our tiptoes. I strained to hear anything. Oh wait. Yeah. Yeah, that was definitely a jingle. That was definitely—

  “The bell!” Brady whispered.

  “No. Please no. NO,” I wailed, as I felt my heart drop and flop around on the floor.

  “That could be anything,” Wiki said. “There are so many things that jingle.” But his eye was twitching.

  “Only one way to find out,” Brady said.

  She walked right up to Blackbeard and pushed him as hard as she could.

  “Argh!” Blackbeard cried as he stumbled and fell, hard. I heard the jingling of what must have been the bell. His face turned dark and he muttered to himself, “Who dares cross the scourge of the seven—”

  And then he saw it was us, and his face went smiley and sweet.

  “Ah, good morning, you cute little ragamuffins.”

  “The bell, Blackbeard. I hear it in your coat,” Brady said, pointing at him with a big scowl on her face.

  “A bell? No, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You must have heard my keys jingle. Groundskeepers have a lot of keys to carry around.” He stood up again, brushed himself off, and smiled. “Now, I hope you’ll allow me to apologize for all of my past behavior. I’m a new man. I want to be a helpful member of our community.”

  Who was this guy?

  Brady didn’t look amused at all. Instead she quickly darted her hand out and shook his coat. The bell (or something that sounded exactly like it) rang more loudly.

  “Once again,” Blackbeard said too sweetly, “those are my keys. I appreciate you coming over to say hello though. Have a wonderful day.” He bowed and walked quickly down the hall.

  “He has the bell?!” I yelled.

  “He definitely has the bell,” Wiki said rubbing his forehead.

  “We’ve gotta go straight to Principal Gale,” I said, and started walking toward the high school. Wiki followed me.

  “I left something at home,” Brady said quickly. “I’ll meet you guys there.” She took off.

  That was weird. We weren’t allowed to go home at lunch—and she probably wouldn’t make it back in time.

  But I had no time to think about it. We had to solve the Mystery of the Smiling Pirate. To the principal!

  29

  “Well, you two had quite the night,” Principal Gale said, sitting down at her desk. “I hope my pets didn’t scare you too much.” She smiled kindly.

  She knew about our attempted robbery. Whoops.

  “You call those pets?” I said. “They were going to kill us!”

  She laughed. “They’re actually completely harmless, but they’re meant to frighten people away, so it looks like they did their job.”

  “What were those things?” I asked.

  “Perhaps you should be starting with an apology instead,” said a voice behind us. Mr. Scrimshaw—er, Captain Ahab—was standing next to her door. I yelped, then I nodded hello. He nodded back, looking super serious.

  “No, there’s no need for that,” Principal Gale said, shooing the air. “To be fair, I now realize I should have explained why there’s no need to worry. No one takes anything I place in here,” she said, tapping on the cage behind her.

  Wiki let out a quiet gasp and I saw why. The fabric was draped over the cage but peeking out of the corner was a familiar glint. The bell! It was still in the cage!

  “We thought Blackbeard might have stolen it and—”

  “He knows he cannot.” Gale smiled at us again. “Rest easy. You made it through the hard part. If he tries anything else, he will be gone. And believe me, Blackbeard wants to stay.”

  “Breathe easy, lads,” Ahab said, escorting us out of Gale’s office. “If that pirate even looks at you the wrong way, he’s got my harpoon to deal with. And I’ve used it on stranger foes than whales.”

  I felt like I was walking on air. “It’s over. I can’t believe it’s over.”

  Wiki wasn’t quite as excited as I was. “It’s not over until Blackbeard’s returned to his home. Then I’ll breathe easy.”

  I ignored him. I wasn’t going to waste another day freaking out about it. I was exhausted enough as it was.

  Bio was weirder than ever now that I knew who Mr. Scrimshaw really was. All of his extra-credit assignments made perfect sense now—he was still hunting Moby Dick as a middle school teacher! In class, Reba found footage of a very pale whale and it made Ahab so happy that all we did for the rest of the class was sing sea chanteys as he danced on his table, keeping the rhythm by stomping his fake leg. I didn’t want to tell him, but I was almost positive Reba was showing him clips from a movie. At least Ahab was so excited he didn’t notice me napping on my desk.

  I spent lunch snoring with my face in my food, but even with the back-to-back naps, I was dead to the world by the time recess rolled around. Wiki was the same. We sat on the edge of the playground and tried not to fall asleep.

  “Hey J-Train,” Buddy Grimes said, looming over me. “I think your sister sprained her ankle. She asked me to come get you.” He pointed toward the field on the other side of the school. Wiki and I jumped up and followed Buddy.

  “How’d she sprain her ankle?” Wiki asked politely.

  “I don’t know, dude, I just heard her screaming for her bro. Now come on!”

  Grimes was huge, but he was a pretty fast runner, and we had trouble keeping up with him. He took us past the recess yard and around the corner. I didn’t see Brady but he pointed to the big shed in the back corner of the huge yard. “She’s over there.”

  When we finally got close I had to slow down and catch my breath. “Wait! Wait…for me.” I shuffled slowly toward the shed.

  “Hold on. Why are we following Grimes?” Wiki whispered, between wheezes. “He’s never once been helpful to anyone.”

  “Guys! Stop!” a familiar voice shouted. Rounding the corner of the yard was none other than Brady.

  “Blackbeard has the bell!” she yelled. Wiki panicked, but I shook my head.

  “Don’t worry, we saw the—mhmnnn mmfmnfm!”

  Something got thrown over my head. Someone grabbed my arms and put them behind my back.

  Then I got thrown over someone’s shoulder, and it all went dark.

  30

  “Almost…got it… Almost… There we go!” I yelled. I’d been trying to wrestle the sack off my head for who knows how long. It isn’t easy when you’re completely tied up!

  I looked around. We were in a dark shed, and it smelled awful. Not just like dirt and manure though. Oddly, it smelled like slime from the sea. Wait… Sea stench… Blackbeard!

  Brady was rolling around next to me, trying to jiggle the bag off her head as she groaned. The two of us had our arms and legs tied up in some pretty tight ropes. Where was Wiki?

  “Brady! Let me try to help you!” I wriggled closer but I couldn’t do much. I wriggled until my feet were next to Brady’s head, then I pulled the sack off after accidentally kicking her in the face a few times. She didn’t care.

  “Blackbeard! When I get my hands on him…” She growled.

  “What happened?” I asked as I tried to shimmy my hands out of the ropes.

  “It was a setup! Grimes was in on it. He lured you to the shed, and then when I got there Blackbeard snuck up behind you and pulled you into it. Then Grimes got Wiki. I almost got away, but that pirate runs crazy fast. Anyways, we’re in deep doo-doo, because Blackbeard’s probably heading to our house right now.”

  “But I
saw the bell in Principal Gale’s office. He can’t do anything without it.”

  “It must have been a fake. Blackbeard’s definitely got the real bell.”

  “How do you know?”

  Brady paused for a second. “I…I just know. Trust me.” She looked around the shed. “Wait. Where’s Wiki?”

  “I was about to ask you the same question.”

  Brady gasped. “Blackbeard’s got Wiki. And the bell.”

  “Wiki? He’s as good as dead!”

  “We’ve got to break out of these ropes.”

  “Good luck with that,” I said, hyperventilating a little. “I’m sure the most famous pirate of all time is pretty good at tying people up.”

  “Yeah, but you know what he’s not good at? Putting us somewhere we can’t break out of. Look around, Javi. We are literally surrounded by sharp things.”

  Little sis was right. There were hedge clippers and tree trimmers and even a machete. There were also dozens of puppy posters and plushies lining the walls. Wait, why was this entire shed full of puppy stuff? Was the most fearsome pirate of all time legitimately obsessed with puppies?

  “There’s our best bet,” Brady said, motioning to the machete propped up against the wall. “Stop staring at the puppies and help me wriggle toward it.”

  Helping her was supremely awkward because all I could do was roll around on the floor of the shed. I felt like a rolling pin, going back and forth. I looked like an idiot. “Ugh, you’re useless. I’ll do it myself.” Brady groaned. She hopped over to the machete—which is pretty tough when your arms and legs are tied up—and started pushing her back against it, trying to cut her ropes.

  “Hmmm, that always seems to work in the movies,” I said.

  “I thought so too. But I don’t think I’m doing anything really. This is dumb,” she said. I started rolling on the floor again. “But that’s even dumber. Why do you keep doing that?”

  I didn’t really have a good answer for her until I noticed a pair of lawn scissors in the corner of the shed. I squirmed over, pushed my back up against the scissors, and eventually got them into my right hand. Then I spent a while trying to get the angle right…and…

  “Ta-da!” I said, breaking free from the ropes.

  “Wow, not bad, bro! You never save the day!”

  “Thanks?” I said as I cut the ropes holding my legs together and then snip-snip-snipped Brady’s ropes until she was free too.

  “Vamonos!” Brady yelled, tearing out of the shed at full speed. “Operation: Save Wiki!” I jumped up and followed her. Wow, we’d been in there for a while—it was well past the end of the school day.

  “We should tell Principal Gale!” I yelled breathlessly.

  “We will once we stop Blackbeard and save Wiki!” Brady yelled back.

  “Wait—we’re going to try and stop Blackbeard ourselves?” Even though we were all running as fast as we could, a massive gulp formed in my throat.

  The sun had almost set by the time we turned the corner to see our house. First I noticed that our front door was open. Then I noticed that Dad was outside planting some bushes. Then I noticed Dad was whistling a sea chantey.

  Blackbeard.

  “Dad! Why’s the door open?!” I yelled, as I ran up to him.

  “Hey kids!” he said. “How about a ‘Hello, how are you, Dad’? Or a ‘Hey Dad, you sure look thirsty, I’ll go fix you a piña colada’? Why all the intensity? You’re like cockroaches in a chicken dance.”

  Brady barely even looked at Dad. She just ran straight into the house. Dad looked confused.

  “Wiki just stopped by with your super nice groundskeeper, Mr. Teach. He said you guys were helping him build a puppy petting zoo, but the blueprints were in your room. They’re probably still up there right now looking for them. Teach is a big fan of yours, by the way. Says you’re a great kid. Heck of a beard on that guy. Maybe I should stop shaving for five years and attempt one myself…”

  “Dad! Did you just let an evil pirate run into the house?!” I asked. I was breathing heavily and my eyes were twitching so much I probably looked like I’d escaped from Alcatraz.

  “A what? Did you just say pirate?”

  I nodded and sprinted into the house.

  Wiki was draped over one of Andy’s chairs, looking like he’d just survived a tornado. The rest of the chairs were scattered all over the dining room, most of them tipped over. Andy sounded like he was growling. And Brady was kneeling in front of Wiki, trying to get him to snap back into our reality.

  “Wiki. Did Blackbeard just…” I couldn’t even complete the sentence.

  Even though he wasn’t fully there yet, Wiki nodded slowly. He mumbled to himself, almost too quietly to hear: “I had to summon them. I had no choice. He would’ve killed us. I had to summon them all. Fifteen of them.” His eyes drifted slowly to our faces. “You just missed them.”

  I raced into our backyard, clambered up the fence, and peeked over the edge. There in the distance, heading into the woods, were Blackbeard and fifteen pirates of every shape and size. I could still smell their stench from where I was standing. In a few seconds they had all disappeared into the forest.

  “Yeah, they escaped. They’re deep in the woods by now,” I wheezed, back in the kitchen. Brady clenched her face and her fists.

  “I had no choice. He would’ve killed us. I had no choice.” Wiki was still in a daze, mumbling to himself.

  Exhausted, reeling, and still out of breath, I collapsed to the ground. For a while we were silent, catching our breath, trying to make sense of the situation. After what seemed like forever, Wiki lifted his head, looked at us, and spoke. “Well, we lost.”

  * * *

  We sat in silence for a full hour until Dad told us to clean up for dinner.

  The meal started out awkward and only got worse. As soon as Wiki left, Dad started grilling us. He couldn’t figure out why the two of us had acted so weird earlier and looked so glum now. Every time he asked, we came up with a lie, but we were too beat to think up good ones, so they were mostly pretty dumb and barely made sense.

  “So let me get this straight. While I was talking to Mr. Teach, his dog named Pirate snuck inside. He’s the one that made the mess in the dining room. You freaked out because I’d let Pirate into the house, but then when you ran inside, he hit Javi in the face and ran out the back door. Mr. Teach chased him out, which is why I never once saw this dog. Do I have all of that right?”

  “That dog is some bully,” I said. But hearing the whole lie all at once, I realized how stupid it sounded. Andy let out a sad purr. I guess it didn’t even make sense to him.

  “You do realize that everything has been completely over-the-top bizarro for the last couple of weeks, right? What’s your mom going to think when she gets back? I mean, to top it all off, it smells like sewage and rotting fish in this house today. Don’t you find that odd? Sewage. And rotting fish. Are you running a sushi restaurant in the sewers? You know what, don’t even answer that. I’m scared you’ll say yes.”

  A sushi-tostones fusion restaurant. File that idea for later, Javi.

  “You guys are grounded. Until you give me an honest account of all the weirdness happening, you can’t hang out with Wiki, and you can’t leave the house, starting immediately.”

  “Daaaaad…” Brady moaned. I echoed her moan.

  “Don’t even start with that. Once you give me a good explanation, you’re free. That’s all I need. The truth.”

  “Okay,” I said nervously, clearing my throat. “What if I told you that this is a magic table that summoned Blackbeard the pirate, and he’s about to kill us unless we team up with our principal, a famous artist, and a fictional sea captain to stop him first?”

  “Go to your room,” he said, pointing up the stairs.

  Well, it was worth a shot.

  “Wiki was
right,” I said as we walked upstairs. “We lost. We’re just going to sit in our rooms grounded until we hear Blackbeard break in, run up these stairs, and slice our throats. Then he’ll go take over the world. I can’t believe I thought this was all over. Well, I guess now it’s really all over. For everyone.”

  I realized that Brady was completely ignoring me, pulling her walkie-talkie out of her backpack and speaking into it.

  “Wiki, we make our move at ten. Meet us at the top of the hill. I’ll bring supplies.”

  “Aunt Nancy grounded me too,” Wiki’s voice crackled.

  “No excuses, Wiki. Javi, be ready by 9:45.”

  I turned to look at Brady. “Wait, what?”

  “We’re going to spy on some pirates.”

  Downstairs, Andy was trembling.

  31

  There was a soft knock half an hour after lights-out. When I opened my bedroom door, Brady stood there in full camo gear with shoe polish spread all over her face, carrying a camo backpack.

  “Are we going deer hunting?”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Could you please wear something with darker colors at least? Rubber-duckie pj’s are honestly the worst choice you could have made. Ever.”

  I closed the door, rummaged through my drawers, and put on dark jeans and a black shirt.

  “Better,” she whispered as we crept down the stairs.

  We opened the front door sloooooowly. It probably took us five minutes to get it wide enough to squeeze through. Then we shut it just as slowly.

  Despite being completely terrified of what we were about to do, I have to admit, it was a beautiful night. The air was cool but not too cool, the moon was full, and the stars had all joined the party too. We snuck silently across the yard and through the path to the top of the hill. Wiki was waiting for us at the top, looking pretty terrified himself. He was wearing his dad’s oversize camouflage army jacket and dark pants. Brady hugged him.