The Sweet Road Back

by Jacki Kelly

  “What are you talking about? I don’t understand.”

  “Melissa, don’t lie to me, I saw the picture. I can’t talk to you right now. This is just too fucking much.”

  “Darius, are you going to let me explain?’

  “I think you’ve said enough. I don’t know what you can say to fix this.”

  “But, Darius--”

  He disconnected the call.

  ****

  Melissa pulled the receiver away from her ear and stared at the phone. The finite tone in his voice had a ring she hadn’t heard before. Her heart raced so fast it skipped several beats. “This can’t be happening.”

  She dialed his cell phone number, but her trembling fingers pushed the wrong button and the text screen popped up instead. She cancelled the function and tried again. After one ring, his voice message came on. “Darius, please call me back. Let me explain.” A steady stream of tears rolled down her face, the salty taste lingering in her mouth.

  Instead of putting on her pumps and heading out the door like she’d planned to do only moments before, she sat on the edge of the chaise with the phone in her lap. There had to be a way to make this right, but she couldn’t think of anything. Her thoughts refused to move past the anguish in his voice. The tears wouldn’t stop.

  Turbo sprawled out at her feet. An hour later, the two of them were in the same position. She’d dialed Darius’s phone every ten minutes and left the same message.

  “Please let me explain.”

  When his voice mailbox was full and wouldn’t allow her to leave another message, she crawled into bed and pulled the sheet over her head.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Darius slouched in the chair while staring at the mini bar. Sweat still poured down his temples. Leaving everything on stage wasn’t working too well. He wanted to walk away from the show so exhausted he’d sleep and forget. But after three weeks and seven shows, once the music stopped and the lights dimmed, all the fury remained embedded in his soul.

  Without blinking, he took several short breaths. Deep breathing would have been better, but nursing the pain consuming him was more in line with how he felt.

  One day, he’d wake up and feel normal again. He wanted to believe in the possibility. But as long as he held on to just a little of the bitterness, no one would ever be able to crush him, again. He ran his hand over his chest. Even though he couldn’t feel the gaping wound in his heart, he knew it was there.

  Without knocking, Dan charged in the room.

  “Another great show. I know you’re unhappy, but you’re killing it on stage. And record sales are off the chart.” Dan’s enthusiasm was as uncontrollable as a puppy. His excitement only added to Darius’s misery. He should be happy that his career was skyrocketing, but his personal life was dragging him into the undertow.

  “There’s no sparkling water in the fridge,” Darius said without looking up.

  “I just gave you great news and all you can say is you don’t have any water?”

  “I requested it in the contract. I don’t want plain water. I asked for sparkling water. Can you get some up here?” Darius stormed out of the living room, into the bedroom, and slammed the door.

  “You know, if you’re going to be this miserable, you might as well go crawling back to her.”

  “She’s got a name, Dan,” he yelled.

  “Yeah, but last week, you told me not to say her name around you. Make up your mind.”

  “Are you going to get the water or not?”

  “I’m not your servant, but I’ll see about it. In the meantime, you might as well change for the photo shoot with the radio winners. They’ll be ready for you in about an hour. Then, we’re going to the club and taking more pictures.”

  “Dan, you know how I hate doing those staged poses.”

  “We all have something about the business we don’t like, but we do them anyway. Besides, you haven’t been photographed since your divorce news broke. We need to let everyone know you aren’t devastated by the breakup. So, smile pretty for the cameras.” Dan’s voice had an air or authority.

  “Yeah, right.” He flipped over on the bed and grabbed the pillow. “I’ll be ready.”

  Tonight, he’d be just fine. No way would anybody know the pain lining his stomach. Unlike his father, he’d mask his emotions. Melissa would never know how badly she hurt him. Never.

  After a few seconds, the outer door to the hotel room closed. Darius rolled onto his back. If life could return to normal just by not mentioning her name, he’d be fine. But it wasn’t so simple. He reached for the phone and dialed her number. Before the connection was completed, he hung up and threw the cell across the room, where it bounced off a chair and landed on the floor.

  A couple of beers and a shower had managed to chase away his moodiness by the time he jumped on the elevator and headed down to the hotel club. The thumping of the music could be heard in the lobby. Cameras snapped as he made his way to the far end of the massive property where the good times were well underway.

  Dan motioned him over as soon as he stepped through the door. The crowd stopped for a moment, and then a roar of cheers went up. Everything he loved about the limelight was evident in the pulse of the atmosphere.

  “They love you, man,” Dan shouted above the noise.

  “Let’s get this party started.” Darius waved his hands and everyone stood.

  “I see you’ve decided to have a good time.” Dan slapped him on the back.

  He spread his lips and showed his teeth, hoping in the pictures his attempt would look like a smile. He posed with several fans and signed autographs. Melissa wasn’t the only one good at taking pictures. He slipped his arm around the newest lingerie model and struck a stance for the paparazzi. Playing the man behind the mask was a role he thought he’d abandoned years ago, but as he positioned for the pictures, nothing felt authentic. But, he needed to try.

  “So, I heard you’re single now,” she said without breaking her smile for the photos. “Here’s the key to my room. I’m in 2122. I’ll be looking for you.” She kissed him and slipped her tongue into his mouth.

  Before Melissa, he would have accepted the offer and rumpled the sheets all night long. But he wasn’t that man anymore. He pulled away without making a scene. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m going to pass,” he said as he moved to another group of fans.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Melissa sat beside the window of the chalet staring at the lush green acres of wine grapes. A butterfly hovered over the fruit ripening on the vine. As long as she stayed perfectly still, the pain wasn’t so bad. Only when she tried to get back to normal did the piercing anguish rear up and remind her she’d wrecked her life.

  Nobody deserved to feel this bad. There was a time when she could do no wrong in Darius’s eyes. But she had a hard time remembering when.

  “Aren’t you going to come out of your room for breakfast?” Pam stood in the door with her hands on her hips.

  “I’m not hungry. Eat without me,” she responded as she returned her gaze outside. The tranquility of the Napa Valley usually rejuvenated her, but she hadn’t left the house since they got here.

  “When I planned this trip, I had no idea we’d have to spend it trying to pull you back from the brink of despair.” Pam crossed the mahogany wood floor and sat on the bed across from her. Her tiny yellow shorts and flip flops were a perfect match. The white tank top accentuated her small waist. Seeing the gleam in her eyes now was proof there was life after a failed marriage.

  Melissa reached for her hand. “I’m just numb right now. In a day or two, I’ll be back to my old self.”

  Pam lifted an eyebrow. “It’s been over a month. Look at you. You aren’t eating, you aren’t painting, you aren’t doing anything. All you do is stare out of the window and cry like you expect to see Darius charging up the hill to rescue you.”

  Melissa shrugged a shoulder. His name was like a poker in her ear. Painful. “Did the university call ag
ain?”

  “No, I told them you would be out for the balance of the semester. You can tell them what you’re going to do for the fall once you decide. They were actually quite understanding.”

  Melissa nodded. “It’s been a month. Pam, I haven’t heard from him in a month.” Tears filled her eyes. “How can he be so angry? The least he could do is return my calls, even if he never wants to see me again…say something.”

  Pam came to sit on the arm of the chair and rubbed her back. “You know I’m hardly one to offer much comfort, but you can get through this. No matter what happens, you can.”

  They sat together in silence for several minutes. The tears continued to roll off her cheeks and onto the thin gown she’d slept in. Every word Pam said was true. Sequestering herself away in the hills of the Napa Valley couldn’t last forever. Sooner or later, she needed to address her life. Darius had taken a position. She needed to adopt one too. The time had come to stop hoping something would be different. Stop hoping she could mend their marriage. Stop hoping for a miracle. Miracles only existed in fairy tales. It was time to stop hoping for one.

  “You remember your sisters are arriving today, don’t you?”

  Melissa pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She nodded.

  “You don’t want them to see you like this, do you?” Pam tugged on her nightgown. “You’re still in your pajamas at two in the afternoon. Let me bring you a cup of coffee while you go shower. How about that?” Pam stood up and gave her a hopeful smile.

  Melissa unfolded her legs. “No coffee for me; it upsets my stomach. I’ll meet you on the porch, but I’m drinking tea, decaf tea.”

  She made her way to the bathroom.

  By the time she walked out on the porch, the sun had warmed the small area. She stepped beyond the shade of the veranda and allowed the sunlight to touch her skin. This was the first time she’d been outside since they’d arrived two days ago

  “You look better,” Pam said as she came through the door.

  “It’s amazing what a shower can do for you.”

  Pam placed a platter of golden brown pancakes in the center of the table. The smell whiffed to her nostrils, reminding her of childhood and happier times.

  “Breakfast food for lunch. That a good idea. When did you learn to make pancakes?” Melissa slipped into the chair.

  “What make? I called down to the carriage house and they made them for me. I did scramble the eggs and cook the bacon. Sorry about the crispiness. I struggled with the microwave,” Pam said as she reached for the platter.

  “What time will Asa and Dakota get here?”

  “They called when you were in the shower. Their plane landed and they should be here in a few hours.”

  “I feel guilty dragging them all this way. I’m going to be fine.” Melissa placed a tea bag into the hot water.

  “Think of this as a girls’ getaway instead of a rescue mission. We’re all happy to be here for you,” Pam said around a mouth full of food.

  “Where’s my cell phone?”

  “I shut it off when we arrived. You weren’t in any condition to take calls. It’s near the television in the sitting room.”

  Melissa reached for the eggs and scrapped a large heap on her plate. Like a bird being pushed from the nest, it was time to spread her wings and soar. She couldn’t continue to live in the shadows of her parents or behind the spotlight of Darius. The only way to find her happiness was to make it.

  If throwing away their marriage was so easy for Darius, then she’d find a way to accept his decision. Mim always said behind every cloud was a silver lining, so now was the time to find her silver lining. She could remake her life any way she wanted and in any place she saw fit. And it wouldn’t be on the west coast.

  “You know what? I think I’m moving to Philly with you.” She looked across the table at Pam.

  “Get outta here. You are not. What about Darius?”

  “Oh, yes, I am. Mim said everything happens for a reason, and maybe I saw a lawyer earlier this year because the universe was telling me to find myself and to stop being afraid.” She ate a forkful of eggs. “I’m packing up my stuff and moving to Philly as soon as we get back to San Francisco. Darius can do what he damn well pleases with the house.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Melissa wrapped tissue paper around the vase and tucked the excess into the opening, making sure the fit was snug. She handed the vase to Pam, who placed it in the last of the boxes. “Okay, I think we’re all finished, and it only took us a week. I couldn’t have done it without you, Pam. Everything I need is packed and all ready to go.”

  Pam stood in the middle of the living room with her hands on her curvy hips. The room was nearly empty. “I figure I owe you since you let me stay here while all my stuff was on its way across the country. Besides, when I was falling to pieces, you helped pull me together.”

  “I’m not falling to pieces,” Melissa huffed.

  “Just because you keep your emotions inside doesn’t mean you’re handling everything. I know you pretty well, Melissa, and I bet you’re still crying every night.”

  “Then you’d just lose your money, because I’m not.”

  “Okay, most nights then. You think I can’t hear you down the hall.”

  “Bunking in the spare bedroom doesn’t give you permission to eavesdrop on me.”

  “I can hear you without leaving the bed.” Pam sat back down on the floor beside her. “I can’t believe how this all turned out. I’m more surprised by what happened with you and Darius than I am with what happened with Steve and me. I just knew you guys would live happily ever after. If you two couldn’t, then nobody can.”

  “I’m not co-signing on your statement. Look at Asa and Simeon. They are happy. And Dakota and Bishop seem quite blissful too. We just have to find the right person.” She taped the flaps on the box. “I even understand why Darius is so angry. He thinks I betrayed him. And maybe I did. I knew I should have told him about seeing a lawyer. I kept waiting for the right time. I just didn’t trust our love enough to tell him. Now, I feel betrayed. He should have let me explain what I was going through. But he still won’t talk to me, and it’s been months.”

  “Maybe one day you’ll get the chance. You still love him, don’t you?”

  Melissa fought the tears collecting in her eyes and nodded.

  The room minus the furniture looked just as abandoned as she felt. Not a day went by when she didn’t still dial Darius’s number. But she’d stopped sharing that information so her friends and sisters wouldn’t think she was desperate. “I’ll always love Darius. One day he just might forgive me. But, I’ll never live in another person’s shadow.”

  “And what are you going to do until then?”

  “I’m going to start my life over again in Philly. I’m going to open the gallery like I planned, on South Street. I lost the deal with Vincent Michaels, another thing I can blame Darius for. Anyway, all this must be some kinda sign and I just haven’t figured it out yet. I bet Mim would have a saying for this very thing, and I’m going to figure out what it is.”

  “You make starting over sound so easy.”

  “It won’t be. With the gallery and moving, I have to live on a budget now. No more huge shopping sprees and designer shoes.” She displayed her flip-flops. “I’ll be fine and soon I’ll start to believe it,” she said.

  “I still don’t understand why we can’t be roommates in Philly.”

  Melissa ran her finger along the tape, pressing it firmly in place. “The last thing we need is to become crutches for each other. Until we both are able to put our lives back together, we need to live in separate places. Our condos are only a few blocks apart.”

  “Still no word from Darius?” Pam asked.

  She bit her bottom lip. “No. But he had Dan call to arrange pick up for some of his things. He was more interested in getting his precious record player than he was in hearing anything I had to say.”


  “Do you think you guys will ever talk? I just can’t imagine ending a marriage without a discussion.” Pam shook her head.

  “It’s been two months now. Talking seems so inadequate. The things we needed to say should have been said weeks ago.” Melissa unfolded her legs and stood. She swayed and rested her hands on her knees until her head stopped spinning.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I think I stood up too fast.” Melissa took a deep breath.

  “When are you going to see a doctor? The lightheadedness, the upset stomach, and the no appetite thing is getting old.”

  “As soon as I get settled. Can you blame me for being discombobulated? Look at my life.” She threw her hands up.

  “So, you get to keep the dog?”

  “I think he would have asked for him back too, but you can’t put him in a box and ship him. Besides, I dare him to take Turbo. I’ve spent more time with that dog than he has.” She rubbed the dog’s head.

  Pam laid flat against the floor and placed her hands behind her head. “Aren’t you just a little scared of the future?”

  “I’m scared to death, Pam.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Darius stared at his cell phone. Sooner or later, he had to talk to Melissa, but the sting of her treachery wouldn’t fade. Every time he thought he was ready, his heart would fall to the bottom of his stomach and remind him of memories he wanted to forget.

  If all women weren’t different, then how come both his mother and his wife were so much alike? Growing up knowing secrets had destroyed his parents’ relationship, he’d done everything he could to avoid falling into the same trap. Now look at him.

  “You might as well call her and get it over with. I see you checking your phone every few hours.” Dan tapped his pen on the pad of paper on his desk.