Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  He wasn’t breathing.

  Ah well. Some of my dates acted more brain dead than Theo. I’d worry about it after I’d had my wicked way with him.

  I unfastened the button at the top of his jeans and he lifted his hips up as I pulled them off his legs. Then I took his socks off. That left just his boxer briefs, and I prayed to God that the bulge in his pants wasn’t a hot dog he’d stolen from the burger bar and saved for later.

  Placing my fingers at the edge of his pants I pulled them down.

  His dick sprang up—what must have been a good ten inches of it. It almost took out my eye.

  Holy mother of God, not all of him was dead.

  I was still in my skirt and I quickly slipped it off, leaving me in my bra and lacy thong. Then I pushed Theo back against the sofa and took him in my mouth, and yes, I had to open wide.

  He groaned.

  “Your mouth. It’s so warm against my skin. Vampire women’s mouths are cold.”

  I let him slip back out. “If you mention other women again while I’m doing this, you’ll find you’re not the only one who can bite,” I told him.

  “Fair point,” he said. “As I was saying, your mouth is so warm. It feels amazing. Best ever.”

  Now he was talking. I was the best ever giver of head. You betcha, mate. I swirled my tongue around that baby and sucked on him like I was in a top porn movie until I heard his groans increase.

  He moved away from me, then lifted me and carried me upstairs. He pushed open my bedroom door after I pointed to it, taking me inside where he placed me on the bed. There, he removed my bra and thong and positioned himself over me, moving down and catching a breast in his mouth. He bit on my nipple and that same sensation flooded through me. There must be something in his saliva. Holy guacamole, what was it going to do to me when he went down there?

  I was about to find out. He lowered himself so he was between my thighs and then his cool tongue licked up my seam. It was like he’d been sucking on an ice cube. The sensations were exquisite. He nipped on my bud and my thighs came off the bed with such force that if he hadn’t reared back, I might have knocked him unconscious. Then I wondered, could you make an undead person unconscious? I don’t care screamed my clitoris as Theo went back to town on me, licking and sucking until I felt the pressure build and exploded into his mouth.

  Dear Lord. I apologise for all the cursing and blaspheming but I’ve never experienced anything like it.

  Then he was back above me and lining himself up at my core. He pushed inside. I was about to remind him about a condom but then I remembered he wasn’t fertile until January.

  “Hey,” I interrupted, and he stopped, staring into my eyes. “God, he was fucking gorgeous."

  “Thanks,” he said, and I realised I’d said it out loud. Crap! “Can I carry on now?”

  I shook my head. “That wasn’t it. Do you have health checks? Are you free from diseases, you know, like the clap?”

  “I don’t have any diseases, Shelley. I’m technically dead and disease free.” His mouth turned up at the corners in a smirk. “Anything else?”

  “Nope.” I shook my head. “We’re good to goooooooo.”

  He’d pushed inside me before I’d finished my sentence and filled me to the brim with that magnificent cock of his. I seriously wanted to ask him to pause and withdraw so I could get up and do a little dance of smugness. His head moved to the side of my neck as he thrust inside me and once again goose bumps rose across my skin. The sensations across my skin and between my legs were so good it was beyond explanation. He worked us into a frenzy, my hips meeting every thrust until I felt him stiffen and my own climax build. And then he bit my neck.

  He bit my neck as he came inside me and it was like stars floated and unicorns danced. Rainbows must have surrounded me and angels must have sung as I came, and came, and came. Yes, three times with aftershocks like no earthquake could ever hope to produce.

  I think he killed me.

  And I was happy to have died.

  He gathered me into his arms and snuggled under the covers with me. I felt sleep overtake me. He kissed my forehead and whispered, “I’ll stay until you’re sound asleep and then I’ll have to leave. I need to go back to where I’m safe while I slumber.”

  “Okay,” I said, and I drifted off thinking that if he’d proposed again right now, the slapper in me would have said yes.

  “Shelley!”

  Oh God, not this again. I opened my eyes and looked around. Theo wasn’t there in bed with me anymore. I was totally alone. Well, apart from the weird woman sitting on a black chaise longue this time. Where did I make this dream shit up?

  “You’re not dreaming, Shelley. We need you to realise that you’re in danger. Also, you’re getting your powers back and you need to be aware of this.”

  I sat up and stared the woman down. “What are you talking about?”

  “Shelley. I’m your mother. Now whether you believe me or not right now—and if you could, that would really help—I need you to listen. I’m a witch. You are part-witch. Your father was a human man, and he made a deal with her to secure your safety.”

  “A deal with who?”

  “Lucy. She agreed not to look for you if your father went with her. It was a trick. She just wanted him. Wanted to split us up. I warned the Linley’s that you might exhibit some signs of magic, and if you did they needed to get a witch or wizard to put a binding spell on you. I gave them the number of a friend. They must have done this as I’ve not detected you until this past week. But this week you’ve done something. Something that’s disturbed her. The warnings are that she’s about to leave her chambers and come looking for the cause of the disturbance.”

  I slapped myself in the face a few times. It was bad enough I had slept with a vampire and had the whole undead thing to deal with. I couldn’t process this dream shit too. Fantasy needed to stay away right now, real life was enough.

  “Shelley.”

  Oh God she was still there.

  “Shelley, I’m not a dream. I’m IN your dream. I’ve told you this already. Look, go see the Linley’s. Let them tell you the truth and then we can talk again. But please be careful. She doesn’t want people to be happy. Withernsea has been her pet for years. She didn’t care while you were matchmaking humans, said it gave her the chance of extra recruits, but she wants you to leave the supernaturals alone. They’re her toys. And she doesn’t know who you are yet. That you’re our daughter.”

  “Who is this goddamn Lucy bitch?” I shouted. “She sounds like she has a right attitude.”

  My dream mother looked at me with a great deal of anxiety on her face.

  “I told you. Lucy. Lucy Fir. The head of Hell.”

  I woke up.

  What the fuck was that dream? I hoped all sex sessions with Theo wouldn’t give me nightmares, although truth be told he hadn’t boffed me when I’d had the first one. Recurrent dreams, hey? I must have things on my mind. Well, the first thing on my mind was to make myself a massive cup of coffee because last night’s shenanigans had worked up quite a thirst.

  I headed down to the kitchen, feeling a satisfying ache within my thighs. I’d had sex! Extremely amazing sex! Whoo hoo! I made a fresh pot of coffee and then wandered into the lounge with a mug before jumping and tipping half the thing down my front. For fuck’s sake, this was becoming quite the habit.

  I stared at what had made me jump. In the middle of my room was a flame. Just hanging there in midair. As I moved closer to it, the flame turned into smoke, black wisps forming the words:

  You were warned.

  The words dissipated and then it was like none of it had ever been there. Was I sleep deprived and had imagined it? Maybe having sex with a vampire had drained some of my life energy or something. I couldn’t even talk about it with anyone, could I? Who’d believe me?

  I went upstairs to change. At least I didn’t have to spend money on a new top at Ebony’s this time.

  Oh. That was it. I nee
ded to talk to Ebony. Maybe crazy Ebony was not so crazy after all.

  Chapter Nine

  Ebony

  I’d wondered when Shelley was going to realise I wasn’t the alcoholic nutcase she thought I was. Being a seer was draining, especially if warnings and messages about someone very close to you were coming. Vodka wasn’t my drug of choice, it was a necessity to get through the day if I didn’t want to be pestered by the voices.

  I’d started having impressions about Shelley a couple of weeks ago. First it was just the odd sweeping of words into my mind.

  Her one is coming.

  She’s awakening.

  This was followed by feelings of edginess when she was close. Like the balance of something was out of kilter.

  But as she walked into my boutique this morning, the blast into my mind almost knocked me to the ground. I held my head until the pain ebbed away.

  “Ebony. Are you okay?”

  “Give me a moment,” I said, taking a seat behind my counter. “It’s the thoughts and visions. They come too fast sometimes.”

  “Do you need your vodka?” Shelley asked, and I stared at her.

  Do you need your vodka? Not berating me for drinking. Something had changed.

  It was time for me to do my thing.

  “Could you pass me your hand?” I told her, “and no matter what you see happen to me, do not let go of it. Understand me? If you want answers, that’s how we get them.”

  “Okay,” she said, biting on her lip before holding out her hand.

  I took it and centred myself, asking for protection before I opened myself up. The messages and visions kicked in and I knew that to Shelley my face would have taken on a grey pallor.

  Finished. I closed myself down and thanked the angels for their protection. Then I opened my eyes.

  “Jeez. I’m glad your colour is returning. I thought you were dying on me,” said Shelley, concern etched in her features.

  “I have to straddle the line between life and death. It’s draining,” I told her. “Now. You and Theo. He is your one. You can take your time. You can deny it, but they scream it at me.”

  “Who’s they?” Shelley leaned forward sliding her chair even closer.

  “I don’t know. Beings so high they don’t have a face, just a presence. They tell me you are in danger though. That you are at risk of death.”

  “Well, duh? Theo will want to make me a vampire won’t he, if I stay with him?”

  I shook my head. “No, that is not who intends to harm you. Your agency is causing a change in Withernsea. There are those who oppose it.”

  “I’ve been having weird dreams, Ebony. This woman says she’s my real mum and that I’m half a witch and that the head of Hell is after me. That’s not real, right? That’s me having a bad dream.”

  My eyes widened in shock. “You upset the devil?”

  “I guess so, but only in my dreams, yeah. Apparently, she’s called Lucy, and she’s pissed with me.”

  I tried to gain traction on my thoughts but couldn’t hold onto anything. “I don’t know if it’s her. I feel like there’s more to this. Another presence. Tell me more about these dreams.”

  Shelley explained about seeing her mum twice and that she’d been told to visit her adoptive parents. That her powers were emerging now she’d embraced the supernatural world.

  “And then there was the flame this morning.”

  “Flame?”

  “Yeah, one flame hanging in the middle of the room, then it puffed out, and a message said ‘you were warned’.”

  I gripped the edge of the table. “That is one of hell’s calling cards.”

  “What am I going to do?” she panicked. “I upset the devil. Who does that? I’ll be burned alive!” Shelley started pacing around the shop picking up different clothes. “I might as well max my credit cards if I’m not going to survive the night.”

  “Look, let’s say these dreams are real and not dreams. Your mum said you should visit your adoptive parents. That’s a start. Go see what they have to say to you. Why not tell Theo? Maybe you could take him along with you for support? If you’re getting threats, you need the police.”

  “Oh yeah, ‘dear policeman, I’ve seen a flame hanging in midair. Can you check it out?’ I’ll be carted off to an asylum.”

  “There’s a secret branch of the force,” I told her. “I’ll make some calls. Now, if it’s true you’re part-witch, you’ll need to ask someone, a witch or wizard for guidance. Maybe your mum could help? You need to learn some simple protection spells. I have ones for opening and closing myself to spirits but they aren’t going to help you.”

  “Thank you, Ebony.” Shelley touched my arm. “I’m sorry for thinking you were insane and an alcoholic. You’ve been so very kind. Now, I’ve just found out I might be half-witch, I’m shagging a vampire, and the devil is after me, so could I please have a vodka?”

  “You shagged Theo?”

  “I did.” A massive smile broke out on Shelley’s face. “And it was heavenly.” She sighed. “Bloody hell, Ebony. What am I going to do?”

  Bloody hell indeed.

  Chapter Ten

  Shelley

  It was 10am before I made it into the office. Yes, we worked Saturdays but only until lunchtime. Arriving late was so unlike me but hey ho. The sound of muffled laughter came from Kim’s office and I walked towards it and knocked on her door.

  “Come in,” she shouted.

  I walked in to see her lipstick smudged across her face and her cheeks pink. In front of her was a good looking blonde-haired guy. I presumed this was the good doctor.

  “I’m Shelley, the owner of Withernsea Dating, and you are?”

  “Dr Francis Love. My friends call me Frankie.” His green eyes flashed with a touch of mischief. “I’m sorry to come here causing mayhem. Your assistant left something at mine. I wanted to return them to her.” He went into his pocket and pulled out a pair of panties.

  “How did they get there?” Kim looked astounded and looked down the top of her trousers. “I could swear I put those on this morning.”

  He threw them at her and gave me a wink. I rolled my eyes. The man was a moron.

  “Well. Nice to meet you, Dr Love,” I said, making sure he knew exactly how friendly I felt towards him. “Kim. Could you go get us some coffee and a couple of doughnuts from Jax’s? I’ll see you in my office in fifteen?”

  “Yes, Boss.” She was still looking down her trousers.

  “And you might want to put some pants on,” I told her before stomping out of the room.

  A knock came at my door not a minute later. “Come in.” I sighed. I really needed that coffee.

  Frankie strolled in, the door closing behind him as he walked in front of me. “Oh Shelley, it seems we got off on rather the wrong foot.”

  I rubbed my forehead. I did not need this tosser this morning when I was trying to work out how to get the devil off my back.

  “We’re fine. You can go now.” I pointed at the door.

  He pointed at my head and a wispy tendril of what looked like white smoke unfurled into the air from my temple, not dissimilar to what had happened with the flame earlier. The words revealed themselves one by one before disappearing into thin air.

  Tosspot.

  Knobhead.

  Get out fucktard.

  “Oh dear. I really haven’t made a good first impression, have I?” A comfy cushion appeared on the seat in front of me, along with a matching footstool and he sat down. “I can smell you, you know. It’s delicious.”

  “Fuck off, pervert,” I shouted, and the footstool whipped across the room, smashing into the door.

  “Ooh, yes, we need to get a handle on that. I can smell your magic, darling. Not your pussy. No, you’ve sullied that thing by poking the vampire.”

  “How do you know I’ve been with a vampire?”

  “I’m not giving away all my secrets. We’ve only just met. Tell me, have you had any more episodes of things flying
around with your temper? You could hurt someone if you don’t get it under control.”

  I cleared my throat. “Are you saying I did that?” I pointed to the footstool.

  “Yes, and untrained magic is dangerous. But not to worry because I can help you.”

  “Oh my God. You’re a supe too? Is there anyone here who isn’t?” I pursed my lips together.

  “Kim isn’t. The coffee shop woman, Jax, she’s not. Ebony’s a seer. You’re a witch. I’m a wizard. It was so funny seeing Kim’s face when I magicked her panties off her body into my hand.”

  My mouth dropped open, and I rubbed my eyebrow. “I’m really part supe?”

  “Yes. It’s very faint, but there’s definitely a smell of magic emanating from your pores. Now, it’s in my best interests to teach you how to handle it. Otherwise you’re going to out us all and some of us like to fly under the radar—and no, you don’t get a broomstick. That’s just stereotyping.”

  “Did you read my thoughts then? Because that’s not okay?” I pouted.

  He sighed, looking weary. “I’m a wizard not a psychic. I said the word fly. The natural association of that word to a new witch is broomstick. It’s so predictable.”

  I folded my arms across myself. “You’re annoying.”

  “I am, and yet I’m going to help you. Be at mine at 6pm this evening for your first lesson.”

  “I’m making plans for this evening. I have a date and might be seeing family.”

  “Not tonight you’re not. Do you want to cause people harm?”

  I shook my head.

  “I thought not.” He walked over to my desk and flicked his fingers near my notepad. His address appeared on it.

  “Hey, can you teach me a protection spell?” I asked him.

  “Hmm, you pissed someone off already? Can’t imagine that with your uber friendly demeanour.”